Author's Note: I usually put these at the end, but this one requires a little explanation. This will eventually find its way into my story Moon Blood, but for now I think it makes a good one-shot. And oh yeah: Once Upon A Time belongs to ABC and Disney. That's not me.
One of the reasons it takes me so long to update is that I always wind up writing stories out of order. So, here's proof I am working on it...just not chapter 2 (which is started, but...)
Remember that left turn I mentioned in the author's notes of Moon Blood: Chapter 1? Yeah..it's gonna be earlier than I thought. Basically everything up to the first episode of Season Two will be the same: Jefferson springs Belle, the curse breaks, Gold brings magic to Storybrook, Emma and Snow get sucked into FTL...and everything after that is AU.
This takes place the day after all that happens. Gold has taken Belle in and used his new-found magic to redecorate a room for her and provide her with some clothes and other basic necessities. They've both retired for the night, but Belle doesn't stay in bed...
Reality
A Once Upon a Time Story
by Lelila
Belle stood in front of Mr. Gold's bedroom door clenching and unclenching her hands. She was afraid of what he might say, but she was even more afraid of going back to the room he had provided for her alone. The door was cracked, and she could hear him moving around, so she knew she wouldn't wake him, but still she hesitated.
"Do the brave thing and bravery will follow." The words echoed in her head like a half-remembered song. How long had it been since she'd thought that?
Swallowing her fear, she tapped on the door. "Rumple?"
"Belle?" his voice returned, tinged with surprise. "Is something wrong?"
"May I come in?"
"Yes, of course. Just a moment."
A few seconds later, Gold opened the door, his robe wrapped hastily around him. Belle wore the very modest nightgown he had provided her, but hadn't thought to don the robe that was hanging on the back of her door.
Worry lines were etched into Gold's face. "Belle, what's the matter?"
"I um...," Belle wondered where that bravery was, because she was quickly starting to lose her nerve. "It's silly, but um..." She looked down, focusing on the messy knot in the belt of Gold's robe. She drew a breath and started to speak again, quickly, everything she was thinking spilling out of her. "Well, it didn't bother me last night because yesterday was so busy and I was so exhausted that I just fell asleep as soon as I got into bed. But tonight...tonight I was lying there and...well...I was alone in that cell for twenty-eight years and the light in my room was quite like the light in my cell at night and..." She hazarded a glance up at him, seeing confusion join the worry. What little bravery she had faltered. "Oh...this is silly. I should go..."
"No, Belle," he stopped her with a gentle hand to her wrist. "It bothered you enough to make you come here. What is it?"
A lump started to form in Belle's throat. She swallowed hard, but her breath hitched as she began to speak again. "It's just..." She stopped, blinking quickly as she felt tears form in her eyes. "I'm...I'm afraid when I wake up tomorrow I'll be back there. That this is all a dream, that you're a dream, and that they've just found some new drug to keep me quiet..."
"No, Belle..." He pulled her into his embrace, rubbing her back soothingly. "That's not silly at all." He stepped back, tilting her face up to his with a finger as he caressed her shoulder with his other hand. "I've had fears and dreams like that more times than I can remember. I'd be surprised if you didn't feel that way."
Belle somehow succeeded in keeping her tears at bay, but she had to bite her lip to do it. Still, she managed a small smile as she stepped back. It was encouraging to know that he didn't think her mad. After a long moment of fighting with her emotions, she squeezed out the real reason she had come here. "Could I...could I stay here tonight?" When he didn't immediately respond, she started to babble again. "You have such a big bed, I'm sure we could both sleep in it without bothering each other. I just...I need to know that this is real. That it's not going to disappear in the morning..."
She trailed off again, unable to read his expression. Her breath began to hitch in her chest, and she felt herself start to tremble under his hands, both of which were on her shoulders now. "Oh please," she silently begged. "Please don't make me go."
There was so much on his face and in his eyes that Belle didn't know what to think. He was sad and joyous and fearful and angry all at once. "Belle," he said again, barely above a whisper. "I...I almost asked you to stay here last night. I'm afraid that you're a dream too." The lines on his face deepened further as his emotions bubbled to the surface.
Belle felt her heart twist in her chest. He really had been hurt by her absence. "With all your power...and after bringing magic here…you're afraid that I'll disappear?"
"I'm afraid you're not real! You were dead!" He heaved a mighty sigh, the mixed-up look on his face settling into self-loathing. "And I drove you to it. I've driven away everyone I've ever loved: my wife, my son, and you…" He looked up at her, his features turning angry. "I never should have listened to her. I should have known she was lying to me and gone after you."
"Who was lying?"
"Regina," he spat.
"Oh," Belle frowned. She should have known. "But you didn't know," she told him after a moment. "You can't blame yourself for her treachery."
Gold's features twisted again, showing fear and concern. "You're not…you're not angry with me?"
"For not coming after me?"
"For turning you out."
Belle pursed her lips, thinking about that. "I was," she concluded after a moment. "But mostly I was hurt. I didn't really understand why you didn't want to be with me. Certainly if you had so much power you could have found a way to keep it and still be with me. But, after a while, I realized you were just scared."
Gold squeezed his eyes shut; Belle thought he was suppressing a wince. Almost without thinking, she put a hand on his chest to sooth him. "And once I knew that, I forgave you, for the most part."
Gold opened his eyes; they shone with unshed tears as his expression changed to one of unbelieved relief.
"The more I thought about it, the more I thought I could help you get past your fear," Belle went on. "I was very close to deciding to go back…I didn't know if you would accept me, but I knew I had to try. But then I was captured by the Queen's men and…well…you know the rest."
Gold curled his fingers around the hand Belle held to his chest and squeezed, his eyes turning sad.
"And when I saw how you looked at me when I called your name when my memory came back, and when I remembered the look on your face when I came into your shop…I knew." Belle blinked back the tears that she'd refused to shed but had been barely under the surface since he'd finally kissed her out near the well. "I knew you loved me."
He pulled her into his embrace again, this time holding her tightly and pressing his cheek to hers. "Oh yes..." he murmured into her ear. "Yes. I've loved you since you dropped that teacup, I think."
They stood in silence for a long few moments, holding on to each other as they withstood the sea of emotions that swept through them. Belle was still afraid that this was just a dream and that she'd wake up and be back in her cell, but that had become diluted with relief and a low simmering joy. She was overcome, and holding on to her True Love was all that she could do.
"Look at us, standing in the doorway," Gold chuckled nervously as he released her and ran his hands down her arms. "Yes, of course you may stay. Come in, please." He took a few steps back and ushered her in, not letting go of her hands.
The room was not overly large, but far from cramped. Still, it seemed rather small as it was so dark. It was done in dark woods with forest green furnishings and the occasional touch of brass here and there. The only light was a dim bedside lamp. The room was dominated by a king-sized bed with a somewhat imposing headboard, again of dark wood, carved in what Belle thought was the grotesque style.
"You're right, I do have a rather large bed," Gold said as he turned towards it, dropping her hands. "You'll forgive me; after twenty-eight years of sleeping in it alone, I have a tendency to drift towards the middle. I'll do my best to make sure you have enough room." He looked down at her, but his gaze flitted from hers as he cleared his throat. "You were just planning on sleeping, yes?"
"Well, yes," Belle replied, confused. "What else would I..." She trailed off as realization dawned, and let out an embarrassed giggle. "Oh, that. To be truthful, I hadn't even thought of that. Did...you want to?"
"No, no," he blustered for a moment, but then stopped, awkwardness flitting over his features before settling into a calm resolve. "Well...yes. But I also feel very strongly that we're not ready."
Belle exhaled a relieved sigh. "I would agree." She smiled at him. "Thank you for your honesty."
He returned her expression as he picked up both of her hands again, caressing his thumbs over the backs. "Good heavens, Belle!" He examined her fingers. "Look at how chapped your hands are! Let me get you something for that." He released her and headed through a door in the far corner of the room that Belle surmised was his private bath.
"It's alright," she called after him. "I'm used to it."
"Not anymore, you won't be," he replied, sounding more like he was ordering the universe rather than reassuring her. He returned carrying a bottle with a small spigot on the top. "Hold out your hands, please," he requested. She did as instructed, and he pressed the spigot over each hand, depositing a cold, creamy white substance onto each one. Gold took one of her hands into both of his and gently massaged the potion into her skin.
Belle watched him work, a warm comfort spreading through her. "I always loved your hands," she said softly. "I would watch them while you spun. Your fingers were always so nimble. And the gold on your nails would glint in the firelight." She looked up into his eyes a little shyly as he took her other hand. "Did you look like this…before?"
He shrugged. "I suppose. Poor spinners don't get to see their reflections very often. There now," his massage turned into a slow caress. "You'll need some more in the morning and over the next few days, but that should keep you for tonight."
"Thank you," Belle gave him a broad, genuine smile. "They already feel much better."
"I'm glad," Gold replied, still holding on to her hand. "Now, before we go to bed, do you need anything? A glass of water perhaps?"
"No, thank you," Belle shook her head. "What I needed was to be with you."
Gold's eyes turned very soft as he smiled at her again. He led her to the near side of the bed and pulled the covers back for her. She slid between the cool, soft sheets and he tucked her in, almost as if she were a child. He kissed her forehead softly and started to draw away, but Belle frowned and grabbed the collar of his robe. "Rumple," she scolded before pulling him down to kiss him firmly on the lips.
He seemed a bit surprised at first, but quickly responded, returning the affection with great tenderness. He ran his fingertips lovingly over her cheek as he drifted back, hovering a moment before he began to limp around the bed.
Belle hoisted herself up on her elbows to watch him. "May I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"Your leg…did that happen since you've been here?"
Gold sighed. "It's my ankle, actually, and no, it's an old Ogre Wars injury. I used to shore it up with magic when you knew me. Perhaps someday I'll tell you how I got it." The look on his face and sourness in his voice told Belle that it probably was not acquired during some act of heroism.
"Does it bother you much?"
"Some days yes, some days no," he replied as he pulled back the covers on his side of the bed. "But I can't ever trust it, thus the cane."
"I rather like the cane," Belle confessed. "It makes you look distinguished."
"You mean I wasn't distinguished before?" he quizzed her in a high voice, sounding very much like the imp she once knew. He looked insulted for a moment, but then flashed a grin.
Belle giggled. "In your way," she answered. "Though it certainly was a…unique way."
His grin turned into a relaxed smile as he pulled off his robe and hung it on the edge of the headboard.
"You have magic now," Belle pointed out. "Why not shore it up again?"
"I'm sure I will," he replied as he settled onto the mattress. "I've had other more important things to deal with these past few days."
Belle smiled into her pillow, feeling a little shy as he lay down next to her.
"Still," Gold mused, "I may keep my cane even when I do heal my ankle. It does have certain uses beyond supporting one's weight." Lying on his back, he turned his head to her. "I'm going to turn out the light now; is that alright?"
Belle was a bit afraid of that; a cold ball formed in her stomach at his words. But he was here: she could see him and hear him and smell him faintly on the sheets. "Do the brave thing…" she told herself. "Yes, that's fine," she replied, though she couldn't make her voice louder than a whisper.
Gold reached up and clicked off the light, plunging the room into mostly-darkness. Belle's eyes took a moment to adjust, but once they did, she could see most of the room by the light of the streetlamp shining through the window.
They lay in silence for a few moments and then Gold turned his head to look at her again. The longing, the disbelief was palpable between them. "Doing alright?" he asked softly.
"I...I think so," Belle answered, trying to make herself believe it. Tentatively, but not without desperation, she reached her hand across the sheets, needing to touch him. She found the sleeve of his pajamas and twisted it around her fingertips.
Reaching across his chest, he covered her hand with his. "Belle..."
His touch coupled with the ache in his voice finally broke the wall she had been holding up by sheer force of will and her sobs began to spill from her.
"Oh, Belle," he soothed, tears evident in his tone. "I'm so sorry." He rolled up onto his side, reaching for her. "Come here."
Wanting nothing more, Belle wiggled closer to him. He again wrapped her in his embrace, pulling her with him as he rolled back onto his back, settling her head on his shoulder. He buried his nose into her hair and rubbed her arm gently. "You're here, Belle; you're safe," he soothed, emotion still pinching his voice. "I won't ever make you go anywhere you don't want, I promise."
Belle began to calm down at that; she knew when he promised something, he meant it. Unable to speak, she twined an arm around his chest and hugged him tightly. She felt him press his lips to the top of her head and finally felt secure enough to drift off to sleep.