Summary: The 9 year age difference and his family would not stop Juvia from loving all of him, and even parts his wife hated.
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Angst
Author's Note: This will be a threeshot. I am working on several projects simultaneously and my next updated story will likely be Aquamarine, and then another oneshot! I am almost complete with this entire short story so it will be updated soon.
This story will focus primarily on Juvia, and how selfishly in love she is.
I am exploring all genres, so please read and review to let me know how you liked it, and/or where I need improvement! Excuse any typos or grammar mistakes I may have missed!
She had just turned 19 that summer; the first summer, and the very first time she fell in love.
Everything about him was love at first sight. She fell into a trance looking at his onyx eyes; how serious he looked naturally, but whenever she would greet him hello, his dark tunnels brighten her life like the sunrise at 5 in the morning. His husky voice, and how it'd raise slightly in pitch when he would make a snarky remark to her and how cute his laugh was when he noticed how flustered she would get. She loved his large hands; both soft, and yet rough like a working man's, but still so delicate and gentle when he held her hand. And she loved him ultimately for the genuine, wonderful man that she knew he was, even before she knew his name.
But that was the problem. He was a man, and she was just a girl. Yet this did not stop Juvia from loving 28 year old man more than herself.
Juvia first met him at work. She worked at a flower shop as a part-time associate to make ends meet for herself since she had just become independent that year. Juvia liked her work; she was able to arrange flowers, smell them daily, admire and study the various flowers, and she was able to experience people's joy when they would buy for their loved ones. That was her favorite part of the job: the extraordinary smiles of happiness when people would leave the shop.
It was a quiet evening when he walked in, causing the bells hanging on the door to clank one another to signal his entrance. Juvia had many customers during the day considering that day was a special day romanticized by most people: Valentine's Day. Juvia was one hour from locking up the shop for the day and she had hoped that whoever walked in wouldn't be so picky with the flower selection since she had been mostly cleaned out.
Juvia came out from the backroom to greet the customer and felt her heart flutter uncontrollably looking at the man before her. He was tall, just a few more inches than her, and he had messy raven hair. He was lean, yet visibly fit through his attire. He had on a white dress shirt and black dress pants to match with his leather shoes, and a simple midnight blue tie to bring his outfit together. He was a full-grown working man; so professional. She daydreamed about what he might have done for a living and what his routine was like, and what might his favorite color be.
"So, are you going to greet me?" he asked her sarcastically with a cheeky grin before shoving his hands in his pockets. He looked so cool, and yet still carried an alluring demeanor.
Juvia's cerulean orbs broke lock from his dark blue ones down to his curved lips. His teeth were straight and white as her face at the moment, surely, she had thought. The man's jaw was prominent and his smile pronounced it all the more. Juvia wanted to look at him longer.
She didn't have the time or heat in her cheeks to spare getting flustered anymore. With that, she gave herself a quick head shake to snap back into reality and returned him an even larger smile which she couldn't help but see he had noticed. "I'm sorry, welcome! May Juvia help you find anything in particular?"
The dark-haired man shook his head with a small smile still plastered on his face before he took small steps around the store to examine all the bouquets available. "No, not really. Just want to pick up something, anything nice. What do you like?"
He didn't even snicker or ask about her impediment of speaking in third person. He was so kind.
The man had picked up a sunflower and smelled it before he smiled into it and Juvia felt enlightened to see a man that age still be interested in nature and simple things. She walked over to the glass case in the corner of the room and opened it so he could get a closer look at all the encased flowers.
"These are a bit more on the expensive side, but these are all the more less common flower genes and colors. Like these roses here, the most common colors are red and pink, but we also have this blue and white available," Juvia explained while she pulled out a rose of each color to show him.
"Ultramarine."
Juvia averted her eyes to his again and he just gave her a sweet smile. She wanted to take a picture of every frame and angle of his smile and dream about it.
"The blue, it's ultramarine. It's like the color of your hair, azure; but just a bit darker."
She touched the ends of her hair, almost to get a feel for it to remind herself that her hair was indeed blue. A slight shade of red tint appeared on her face and she dismissed it by putting the flowers back in the vase and said nothing about his comment.
"Is that your favorite?" he asked, chuckling to himself about her reddening cheeks. There were a few things the man knew he couldn't handle; one was how to comfort someone, second, was comforting a crying woman specifically, and lastly, was how to respond to and look at a woman blushing.
Juvia gave a small nod before picking up a bouquet. "Yes, it is one of Juvia's favorites. Juvia generally doesn't care much for roses, but something about these blue ones..." her thought went astray and she could feel herself smiling dumbly about it. She glanced up to see him just giving her an amused look and her face felt hotter in an instant.
"This one!" Juvia almost yelled to dismiss her actions, presenting a bouquet to him. "This is Juvia's absolute favorite. They're called plumerias."
The flower was white with 5 petals and a pink center. So simple, yet stunning in her eyes. She wanted him to have them as if she had been the one giving it to him.
"I love them. I'll take it," he bursted out suddenly and to buy time to flush her red cheeks away, she quickly grabbed the flowers and turned to the counter. Before she took another step, he called to her, "Wait, can you add just one of the blue roses too? Separate it please?"
Juvia followed his order and pulled out one single blue rose and slipped it into a wrap. She proceeded to ring him up and he paid in cash so she was unable to get his name. While in process of arranging the flowers into a glass vase for him, he spoke, "Any valentine plans tonight?"
She spread the flower petals and didn't spare him a look to avoid more eye contact, knowing she would just get nervous all over. "Juvia has no boyfriend, or anyone she likes, so no."
He pushed his hair back and scratched his head. He was always such an awkward and sudden type of man and Juvia knew he had now felt uncomfortable asking her such a question.
"But it's okay. Juvia doesn't mind," she laughed to dismiss the atmosphere.
After a few seconds of silence, Juvia finished arranging the flowers and clapped her hands in accomplishment.
"All done. Thank you for your business and come again!" Juvia pushed the vase forward to his reach and he accepted it with another large smile.
"No, thank you. And I'm sorry if I crossed the line," he chuckled nervously and then said, "I'll be sure to come back. See you then."
The man headed towards the exit with a wave of his hand and the vase cradled by his other arm. Juvia waved at the back of his figure, hopeless of his empty words. When he was halfway out the door, he turned his head back to her saying, "The blue rose is yours. I think it fits you, and you'll appreciate it more than my wife. I'm sure she'll love these plumerias though."
Juvia had smiled at the first half of his words and it quickly faded when he had gone and she absorbed what he had said.
Of course he was married; he was a grown man, and she was just a silly, young girl, dreaming and fantasizing of the impossible. He was a man made for a real woman that she could never measure up to. She wondered what his wife must have been like. Probably very beautiful, tall, had a voice of an angel, and funny. Juvia felt jealous of this woman that was a mere figment of her imagination.
She smelled the rose he had set onto the counter, feeling it was her last and only connection to him. A clean vanilla scent lingered from the rose he had held and she giggled to herself imagining the man being forced to use a more feminine scent soap by his wife. Then her smile faded at this last thought. She knew all this, yet she still felt a stinging pain in the depth of her heart that had yearned for the sound of his name at the very least.
The mysterious dark-haired man returned to the shop again about a week later. He greeted her with the same all-too familiar smile and waved with entry.
"Hey, Juvia."
Juvia's heart began to flutter at the same fast pace again. He remembered her name. And he had returned like he said he would. There was the same scent in the room again of vanilla.
"Welcome back, sir!" she greeted in return, bowing slightly in respect. The man waved his hand to dismiss it and gave a gentle laugh.
"No, don't call me 'sir', please. I'm only 28, still in my twenties. I'm not that old yet.." he chuckled and he stopped, a nervous expression on his face, "Wait, do I look that old already?!"
The stranger looked genuinely worried about his appearance projecting his age a few years older than he actually was. He was a man of his image, and Juvia liked that. She giggled into her palm and shook her head before replying, "No you look rather young, don't worry. It's just policy here to be very polite. Juvia doesn't want you to get her in trouble now." Juvia giggled again and she could feel herself becoming flustered again. 'Stop that.'
The man laughed genuinely, and he winked before replying, "Don't tempt me." He gave her a smirk that was almost seductive and Juvia punished herself for feeling so lustful. Yet she refused to control herself from the feeling.
He sighed, relieved and then stood tall before taking a look around at all the flowers again. "I hope so. It hasn't been that long since I began working a real career, I hope it's not taking a toll on me." He faked a small model-like pose with the back of his hand resting upon his forehead and it made Juvia giggle more at his silly behavior. He smiled to himself hearing her laugh, picking up a bouquet of plumerias.
"By the way, you have great taste. My wife loved the flowers," the man smelled the bouquet in his hands, his back to Juvia's. The tone in his voice sounded so different from the tone he had just a minute ago. What caused the change, she wondered.
Her laughs came to a halt, remembering that he was a married man and just laughing at his jokes made her feel like a conniving harlot. Instead, her giggles changed into a forced smile and she took the flowers from his hands willingly. What was she doing?
"So Juvia assumes these will be your usual pick up?"
Juvia brought the flowers to the counter to ring him up, but he still walked about the room, glancing at all the different bouquets and flowers. She swallowed and rolled her eyes for her stupidity while he had not been looking at her.
"Yeah."
She began arranging the flowers accordingly while he encircled the room and she couldn't help but to feel the tension in the air.
"Hey, how old are you?" he asked nonchalantly, feeling a dying petal of a red rose. His touch was not enough to save it, and it fell to the ground.
"19," Juvia answered in the same monotonous tone, regardless of her pounding heart. "Juvia is still just a second year college student."
He turned to her with a cool smile and said, "I'd give anything to be where you are now."
His words caught her attention and they exchanged looks. His eyes looked so sad, and intimidated, Juvia reverted her own eyes back to the flowers in her hands.
"What are you studying?" the man asked nonchalantly again, with his back to her still and his attention focused on the flowers.
Juvia refused to look at him again, knowing her breath would be short if she did. "Marine biology. Yourself?"
"Law. And I hate it," he laughed miserably to himself and Juvia sympathized with him, seeing how truly unhappy he was. He never walked in with a smile, and every smile she saw from him faded. All his smiles were just common courtesy that lasted no more than a few seconds. Juvia wanted to see more of them, longer, and genuinely. She continued to arrange the last flower to not pass him a pity look and he finally stood in front of the counter and pulled out a wallet from his back pocket.
"$15 right?" the man asked, pulling out a $20 bill and laying it flat in front of her. Juvia finished his flower arrangement and almost immediately he took it and began heading for the door.
"Wait!" she yelled, scrambling to hurry his transaction. "Juvia still haven't given you your change!" Her hands shuffled through the cash register and she almost dropped the coins, feeling pressured to get his change to him right in that instance.
Again, he waved his hand with a light laugh. "I don't get change. $15 for the bouquet, $2 tax, and $3 for your rose...did you forget?"
He didn't turn to look at her anymore, just waving his hand to her goodbye. She looked down at her palms carrying his change, and she couldn't keep still.
Juvia clenched her fists, angry at herself. Why did he have to be so nice to her? Why couldn't he treat her like her parents, and all the people she had ever met?
Three days later he returned at about 2 in the afternoon, a few hours earlier than his usual time. It was Friday, and Juvia was due to get out soon. She gave him a small smile seeing him walk in as she took off her apron and hung it, preparing to take off for the night.
"Back again?"
Juvia turned from the wall hanger to see the raven-haired man blankly staring at the flowers by the door, his hands in his pockets. His eyes lacked the usual passion and light they had.
"Is something wrong?" she asked, concerned. Juvia refused to take a step further to avoid crossing boundaries. She constantly had to remind herself that he was a married man. And how wrong it was to lust and want this man in more ways than one.
He gave her a hopeless smile and said under his breath. "I..I came here because I thought I wanted to pick my wife up flowers. I don't know if today would be okay to do that though."
Juvia's co-worker walked in the store to relieve her and the man turned away, almost ashamed, and didn't say anything more. Juvia's mouth moved to the side, a bit irritated by her co-worker's timing.
"I'm off now!" Juvia announced to her co-worker as she grabbed her purse and lightly pushed the man out of the store with her.
She blushed at his touch. He was a slender, but fit man. She could feel his strong muscles through his dress shirt. His body was a canvas, waiting, and Juvia wanted to paint on him.
Once they were out of the shop, Juvia guided him to a nearby bench and apologized, "Juvia is sorry. She knows you would not have liked to talk like that around others."
The two sat down, few inches away from each other. Juvia sat up properly, legs crossed tightly, and hands tucked between her thighs nervously. He, however, just leaned his back towards the wall cooly, almost sulking, regardless of the nonchalant smile on his face. He then pulled out a box of Marlboro cigarettes, and placed one between his lips. A lighter was pulled from his pockets and he lit the end, the butt falling to the ground and beginning to burn.
He offered Juvia one, and she accepted. When she placed it on her lips, she tensed when he moved close to her, only to touch cigarette ends. He lit her end through their indirect touch and she inhaled a smoke with him before leaning against the wall to relax her mind.
After a few inhales and exhales from the both of them, he broke the silence. "Hey, Juvia. Have you ever been in love?"
Juvia didn't know how to answer. Could she say yes, because he was love at first sight? Or no, because it was all wrong?
"No."
He exhaled the smoke from his mouth and chuckled, "Sorry. I'm crossing the line again. I just wanted to ask..to know, if anyone else has ever felt the pain I'm feeling now these days."
Inhale. Exhale.
Juvia looked at him, worried, almost with the eyes of a parent's. She memorized all the curves and ridges on his face, how prominent his masculine jaw was, and the scar on his forehead that was barely covered by his short, falling hairs. She'd never seen art so close up; he was mesmerizing to her.
Juvia snapped out of her reverie and looked away, inhaling from the cigarette. "What are, uh...you feeling?" she hesitated, unsure of how to refer to him and she choked out speaking in first person. The man noticed and remembered how she liked to talk and just laughed, pressing the cigarette to the ash pit next to him.
Juvia's cheeks flushed uncontrollably at the fact she was embarrassing all on her own. She smoked the last bit she could from the cigarette before pressing it into the ash, and he said, "I'm sorry. I've been coming by here a couple weeks now and I've been calling you by name..we're even here together now, and I haven't said my name," he gave another light chuckle before turning his head to her with a cheeky smile, "My last name is Fullbuster. Maybe I'd like to keep my first name a secret for awhile..just to keep things interesting, eh?"
His cheeky smile glowed like he didn't know what pain was. Juvia felt her mouth become dry from leaving it slightly open too long and she stared into his dark blue eyes just long enough before he would notice. She'd almost forgotten why they were sitting together on that bench, but she didn't mind; she wanted more time.
Juvia carved his white, pearly smile into her memory. She loved how his onyx eyes became chinky when he smiled so brightly; how cool he looked when he would put his hands in his pockets and gave her a look that almost resembled a smirk; how his voice was deep and rough, and she tried to conceal her imagination of what it would be like to have him and hear all of him below her.
But it was not just his chiseled jaw and handsome face that intrigued her about this nameless man. Juvia wanted to know what his favorite food, color, type of music was; what he did for fun, what he loved, who he loved; what side of the bed he slept on, if he was a heavy sleeper, and what kind of dreams he had. She just wanted to know everything about him that even he didn't know about or hid deep in his heart.
She again snapped out of her daydream when he waved a hand to her face, giving another one of his infamous hearty chuckles. His laugh was like music to her ears.
"So Miss Juvia is a daydreamer. Ha, yeah, me too."
He pressed his back against to the bench again and closed his smile over a new cigarette. Again, he offered her one and she waved her hand to say no. His eyes wandered to the skies and Juvia realized the man was not just a day dreamer, but just a regular dreamer; not a realist, but just a normal man that dreamed of fantasies and all sorts of possibilities. He was so wonderful to her and she couldn't understand the feelings she had about him, especially when he was with her. Juvia grew angry at herself again.
He looked over when he noticed she hung her head and dug her nails into the wooden bench. Juvia couldn't bring herself to look up at him anymore; she was angry at herself for the feelings she harbored that she didn't even understand. She was so weak-willed and minded, that looking at him in that moment of vulnerability would only let inexplicable tears fall down her face. Juvia was nothing to him; she refused to show that side of her to a man that wouldn't even tell her his name.
"Whatever you're upset about, it's okay. Don't let rain come to you on such a nice day."
He understood what it meant to feel vulnerable, so he did not face her and continued to watch the birds fly and the clouds stir in the sky. He couldn't help but to smile to himself noticing that her hair was blue like the skies that day. And her rose. She was the Earth, the skies, and more.
Juvia frowned a little to herself and kept her eyes glued on the pavement. "Do you not like rain?" She dug her nails more in the bench anticipating a yes. Nobody she knew liked rain. They always said it was gloomy, and it rained often when she was around. She wanted to weep at her regressed memories of all the people that had ever hurt her feelings. She had always told herself from then on that she would not get close to anyone, or love anyone, yet she wanted to break her own rules for the stranger sitting next to her.
"No," he paused and Juvia shut her eyes to stop herself from crying. Of course he doesn't like rain. Nobody does.
"I love the rain. But I love the sun more."
Her eyes opened hearing his words, almost incredulous. He couldn't have been a more wonderful man, and Juvia felt her heart ache knowing she would never stand a chance with him.
"I don't know who, or what brings rain in your life, but you deserve the sun. If I could give you it everyday, I would."
Juvia's head turned quickly to have cerulean meet onyx eyes. She felt a few tears streaming down her cheeks and her lips quivered. She felt so afraid, yet safe next to him. His words, so genuine, but she couldn't help but to feel fear knowing how much power he had over her, and he didn't even know.
He smiled at her so gently and said, "You've had a very hard life, haven't you?"
In that moment, all the memories she had buried away came to her along with all the pain and anger she held in for so long. Again, Juvia's hands clasped the bench to regain her strength and to stop her tears.
"You can cry. It's okay," his eyes followed two birds that chased each other in the sky, allowing her the space to be angry, sad, and everything she refused to show. He kept the light smile that Juvia first fell in love with on his face. Juvia suddenly felt a warm palm over her right hand and her grip eased at his touch. His palms were so rough with few blisters, but nonetheless soft. Juvia's heart stopped with her tears though she wanted to cry more at his touch, and for allowing his hand to grip hers. Part of her wanted to snatch away and lecture him for touching another woman when he was a married man, and part of her wanted to turn her hand upside to hold his properly.
"If you want, and if it's okay...we can share the sun together. Because I need it too."
Juvia didn't hold back anymore. She let out a cry that was followed by harsh breaths, the tears profusely falling down her face. She's never had anyone ask her about the type of girl she was, what secrets she had, what she had endured, or even wanted to be close to her like he was. But for the first time, she had that, with someone she couldn't have. Juvia cried at how she would never have another moment like this.
And then, his hand turned her palm around and intertwined his fingers with hers. She cursed at herself because it was as if he knew her wish. The part of her that wanted all of him consumed her, and Juvia continued to weep, this time in someone else's company; his company, to be specific. As her cries grew louder and harsher, the more his hand held hers tighter.
She had completely forgotten that she brought him there to console him. Juvia punished herself for being selfish and made note to ask more about him when he returned to the shop, but for now, all she cared about was the warm hand in hers and how badly she never wanted to let go.
She was 19 the summer she first fell in love. And he was only 28 when he fell to pieces.