Hmm...okay. I'm not sure what you guys will think of this, but I hope you like it.
This fic was very spur of the moment. I can ony write the way I feel, and usually vent my emotions through writing, which may explain why this fic is like it is.
I was kind of upset and annoyed and so decided to write this.
its set...somewhere in New Moon.
anyway, enjoy! And REVIEW people!

I stumbled up the stairs, blind through the tears that were now streaming down my face. The sobs that broke from my chest were choked, and hysterical.

I felt like my heart had been ripped from me, leaving not just a scar but a burning, excruciating crater of emptiness, flaring at the seams. I was beyond repair.

I reached my room, and slammed the door behind me. I leant against it for a moment, and then slumped to the floor. My face fell to my hands as I sobbed; I curled my knees tight against me.

I couldn't go on like this. It wasn't pain that i felt, it was pure torture. Someone could drag a knife through my stomach and the pain couldn't compare to this – nothing could. I tried to breathe, but it was impossible. I couldn't even locate my lungs.

I clutched my knees to my chest rocking back and forth. My hair was matted to my face by tears. The moisture clung to my skin, burning like acid where it touched.

This wasn't me. This broken, empty shell crumpled on the ground was not Bella, not the girl i once was.
I was unrecognisable, even to myself.

I didn't even know who I was - I had lost myself.

It like I had been abandoned in a vast empty pit, reaching out through the darkness. But there wasn't anything to reach for, and no matter how hard I tried to hold on, I just fell deeper and deeper into the dark. There were no arms to catch me anymore, and I knew that when I would finally hit the ground, I would break. I would smash into a million pieces.

How long till that happened?

I didn't know the answer. Had the cracks already appeared- was I only clinging on to the edge?

Or had I already smashed - was the pain I felt now - the pain that tormented me - my soul shattering?

I just wanted it to stop. How much could pain could someone take? There had to be a limit, a limit i had already reached. I was now just pushing through the boundaries.

This wasn't fair. I hadn't deserved this. I hadn't asked for any of this to happen. All I had ever done was love. How was it justifiable that I should give my heart – my everything – just to have it broken in return?

It wasn't.

Once I had believed in fate. I'd thought that some things in life happened because they were meant to be. But this was not fate – it didn't even exist. How could I have been destined for this?

Suddenly, my temper flared and I was so so angry - furious, at everything. At me, for having let myself fall in so deep, at this small town for enclosing me in and taunting me with memories, and more importantly, at him.

Though I tried to deny it, to lay the blame elsewhere, I knew this was all his fault.

He left me. He had let me fall apart. He had done this to me. There was no other cause for what had happened. Only him. There only had ever been him.

And I hated him for it.

But that wasn't the worst part, because I knew, despite how hard I tried to conceal the truth from myself - that I loved him. I loved him with everything I had ever had. I had loved him right from the beginning and still did now.

And he made me believe he felt the same way.

He had lied to me.

I wanted to lash out at something, anything. I needed to release the emotions in my head before they over whelmed me. I could feel it - they were building up, getting louder and louder in my mind.

I reached out to my desk and grabbed the first thing that touched my hand. Without thinking, I lifted it to the air, and with all the strength I had, I threw it to the floor.

The ear-splitting smash that echoed around my room made me jump. I hadn't realised that I'd thrown something breakable.

Suprised, I moved forward to see what I had smashed. Sharp shards of glass littered the floor around my feet. I moved past them to see the object on the floor.

It was a photo frame.

Staring at the wooden frame and the smashed glass, I froze.

A tear suddenly ripped through my chest. As i looked closer at the frame, I realised it was empty. there was nothing inside it.

An empty photo frame. It symbolized my life. There was nothing in it. There was nothing worth remembering. All the memories i once had – the beautiful perfect memories - had been destroyed by a single one. I had buried them deep beneath me.

Empty...

I fell to my knees. I thought tears would fall, but they didn't. There was no more pain. I couldn't feel anything. At all.

It was worse than the pain. At least then I'd felt something. But now, it had been replaced by ... nothing. Empty...just empty.

It was unbearable. Nothing could be worse than this.

I didn't think when I reached out. I wasn't aware it was in my hand. Not even when it touched my skin; there was no pain. I didn't realise what I'd done until the shard of glass sliced through my wrist, until the red blood began to show.

By then it was too late.

I could only watch in horror as the blood gushed from my vein. My whole body locked as i tried to understand what had happened.

My mind froze, I couldn't think, I couldn't do anything.

The blood stained my clothes, the floor, the bedding. Everything around me seemed to be dyed a deep red. There was so much blood.

My body reacted quicker than my mind. The room began to spin around me, I felt faint. I was going to collapse. Whether from the loss of or from the sight of the blood itself, I wasn't sure, but I knew that if I fell unconscious now, I would die.

No one would find me until it was too late. I was going to bleed to death. Why was there so much blood? How could so much come from only a small – but deep – cut?

I was scared, terrifyed. Despite what I might have thought, I didn't want to die. Even though I had nothing, I couldn't lose my life.

What had I done?

I fought to stay awake, though I could feel the unconsciousness creeping over me.

In a haze, I whirled around and desperately searched for my phone. I couldn't think straight and had no idea what I was doing.

Somehow, the phone found my hand, and as I pressed my other wrist against my stomach, I could feel blood soaking into my shirt. My breathing became shallow, my eyes began to close. I could feel the darkness washing over me.

With my last ounce of strength I hit the call button. I prayed he would pick up. My life rested on this phone call.

'Hello?' A voice on the other end answered. Relief flooded my body, but it didn't last for long.

My voice was desperate. 'Jacob? Please help me.' A sob broke from my throat. 'I've done something really stupid.'

Unable to fight the unconsciousness that fought against me, I collapsed on the bed and waited for the world to turn black.

I had lost.

My eyes closed. A shallow breath escaped through my lips.

Then, I was gone.

What do you think? I know that there will be another chapter of this up – In Jacobs POV – soon. And then, i guess i haven't really decided where to take this fic – any suggestions?
Thanks to BrittanyPerson for cheering me up and inspiring me :D Love ya hun.

REVIEW!!!