Disclaimer: I don't own the Legend of Zelda, Link, or Epona.
A/N: This isn't your average Zelda fic, so if you don't like it, there's plenty of others out there. Also, ASPNL is currently under a major overhaul.
Three Days and Forever
It was another long damn night in Termina.
Termina- Nexus, The World At The End, Kingdom of Doors- it was all of these and more.
To me it was just another hell.
The moon's visage glared down out the polluted landscape below it, glinting off mage-glass windows as I skirted through the shadows. Far above the rest of the spires is the great clock tower ominously ticking away to an inevitable end. Maybe it used to have another name, maybe it never did, but this is Clock Town.
There's some movement up ahead. Probably a juicer twitching in his sleep. Yeah, you might be faster and stronger right now buddy, but I won't melt into a puddle in a year's time either.
I can shorten my life just fine on my own, thank you very much.
What's that? You've got some questions?
Let's get some of the basics out of the way here first.
I come from Hyrule. Never heard of it you say? Good. And bad. I was running away, and there's no better way to run than on a void-drifter. Why was I running? None of your damn business, that's why.
Who am I? Call me fucking Ishmael if you want but I'm best known as Link.
Never mind where I've been, what I've done before-it all started three days and forever ago.
Epona was acting strangely. Which for a void-drifter is really saying something. Don't get me wrong, I love her to bits, but there's a reason drifter riders don't usually last as long as I have.
She grinned at me with her eyes, great black maws the size of my head. Fucking teeth and everything this time, she knows I can't handle that. I started retching, and to make matters worse gravity decides that it's time for a polarity change. That was it for my stomach. I puked and her nasty tongues gobbled it all up. Bitch.
Despite making a noise of disgust, I was grateful that she hadn't decided that stomach or perhaps intestines were more to her liking. My girl really is one in a million.
Wiping the mucilaginous goo from my face, I looked around me at the mycorrhizal towers that were holding this not-place together. Epona shivered, undulating rhythmically like she only does when something is very wrong.
Right there and then I decided that I was going to get the hell out of the not-there.
Too late. I saw it before her, but that doesn't mean much on the Old Roads. That damn mask, staring, groping, reaching out. A small eternity later, Epona began to scream. Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!
Epona bolted, but it was still too damn late. The Masked One had us, and the last thing I saw before blacking out was her being sealed away. Epona...
I opened my eyes, and that bastard was staring at me, two sprites flittering about him.
Fuck.
Can't reach into the Nothing, and I can't even move.
A coppery taste lingered in my mouth.
Hmm. Blood. A Rite it is then. Fat lot of good that'll do me if he runs up and bashes me in the head during the middle of it. Suppose that might get him eaten too, so I'll just have to go with that.
"Yrrnlch tn ajryqd q phhhyrnth" Misfortune and brokenness unto thee and thine.
He still stood there staring at me with that fucking stupid grin.
"Hma tn Hma! Hma tn Hma!" Blood calls unto blood! Blood calls unto blood!
I spat on the ground. The Masked One waited patiently.
Why the fuck is he just standing there?
"Ahjtn! Ajhjtn! Uklnnnhct!" Bring forth from between! Bring forth from between! Oathbreaker!
Unklnnncht would have released Epona, and probably eaten the Mask and the stupid Skull Kid too. Would've even left me alone if Epona got me away fast enough.
Too bad that wasn't how things went down.
In retrospect it's pretty obvious what he was doing. It follows that in retrospect I was being an idiot. A Rite is simply a key. Now that key might change on the basis how of you taste the color of sleep, but it's still a key. Keys can be copied, or they or their Door can be moved. The Masked One let me have another crack at him just so that he could poke through my shit. Arrogant, sure, but I'll admit in this case the fucker had the power to back it up.
As the new Door opened, the Mask grinned, twisted it into the Nothingness next to me and pulled.
Out of the nothingness came that terrible masterpiece, the Ocarina.
Oh, Stars, the Ocarina. That beautiful fragment of dreaded perfection, alone in its ability to-
Something shifted. There are/were two!
No, not alone, not alone, nevermore.
I grinned a nasty grin as the Skull Kid retreated with the ocarina and Epona in his possession. Fuck you Masked One of the Skull Kids, you're not the only one with a couple of nasty tricks.
As if in response to my mocking smile, the skull kid snapped his fingers, and I broke. Limbs twisted, organs burned and ears melted shut. I watched the world shatter around me into a million tiny pieces when my eyes did the same.
Once the pain receded I realized my first impression was incorrect, although certainly understandable. I was now small enough that I wouldn't even make a decent appetizer for Epona, and my eyes were now of the compound variety. As what counted for my brain in this new body rebooted, I realized that I had become an avatar of the Deku.
The Deku are a strange lot. Many theories have been put forth on just what exactly the hell they are- guardians of a dead realm, children of a lesser deity or simply an accident. What they are though, is a damned nuisance with an aversion to any type of technology. I'll admit to having a grudge against them, never met anyone stupider and more annoying in my life than the scrubs I've known.
Don't make the mistake of underestimating the little coconut freaks though. If they overpower you, they'll quite cheerily torture you for an imagined insult just so they can dance to the music of your screams. If you're really lucky, they'll kill you when their little wooden feet get sore. If not, well, it's not pleasant.
Unfortunately for me, a single Deku is definitely not a force to be reckoned with.
Yeah, I was pretty fucked.