Classification: Scully POV, Angst
Spoilers: Memento Mori
Disclaimer: Chris Carter owns them, not I.
______________________________________
I look down at the street through my window. Down at people with normal lives rushing forward through the late afternoon, home from their jobs or on their way to buy some dinner, fuck them. They don't know how lucky they are. They don't have and evil demon inside of them who is slowly breaking them down. I have.
It has been one month since I got the news about my cancer; no, not my cancer, I didn't ask for it and I don't want it; the cancer.
Why me?
I guess that's a question everybody ask them self, I do it to.
Mulder is coming over later, he said, and he is going to bring dinner with him. He has treated me like a child, like I am made of glass, ever since I told him that day in the hospital. Told him about *this* decease. I don't like when he treats me like this; it feels like he is invading my space, a space witch I would like to keep for my self right now. The phone calls he makes to me almost every hour don't make it better ether.
Fifteen minutes later I hear a knock on the door. It's Mulder, of course, it always is. Lately he has spent more time here than ever, he even has his own toothbrush here for those times he decides to sleep on my couch instead of his own.
"Come in," I call from the spot in front of the kitchen window, I still look out through it. A little girl has cached my eye, a very small girl with long brown hair. She walks there on the street all alone.
I think it's going to rain soon.
"Doing some research Agent Scully?" Mulder says and comes up behind me; I turn around and go to the dining table where he left the big box of pizza. It smells wonderful and I can feel how my belly screams after it. I take the box and caries it into the living room, Mulder isn't late to come after me, he's like a fucking tale. I know that I must tell him.
"Mulder," I say as we sit down, I in one corner of the sofa and he so close that he almost touches me, "I really need some space."
"Huh?" he looks at me without understanding what I am trying to say.
I hear the sound of thunder far away; it fits perfect to the mood I am in right now.
"I want you off my back!" the words come out of me sharp as knives, but when I have started I can't stop. "You're always around me! All the time! I want some space to breathe and think; ever since I told you you've been like this! How would you feel if I were following every one of your moves all the time?" when I finally stop he look at me with sad eyes and just at that moment all I want to do is hug him, but I've said what I've said.
"I guess I should go?"
"Yes, and take the pizza with you," I look at the box; we haven't even opened it, but I am not hungry anymore. I know that my words burned but that is nothing I can change.
"Bye," he whispers and closes the door behind him; I do not answer him, I don't know if I can.
The rain starts to fall outside; so do my silent tears.
I am all alone and so scarred.
Spoilers: Memento Mori
Disclaimer: Chris Carter owns them, not I.
______________________________________
I look down at the street through my window. Down at people with normal lives rushing forward through the late afternoon, home from their jobs or on their way to buy some dinner, fuck them. They don't know how lucky they are. They don't have and evil demon inside of them who is slowly breaking them down. I have.
It has been one month since I got the news about my cancer; no, not my cancer, I didn't ask for it and I don't want it; the cancer.
Why me?
I guess that's a question everybody ask them self, I do it to.
Mulder is coming over later, he said, and he is going to bring dinner with him. He has treated me like a child, like I am made of glass, ever since I told him that day in the hospital. Told him about *this* decease. I don't like when he treats me like this; it feels like he is invading my space, a space witch I would like to keep for my self right now. The phone calls he makes to me almost every hour don't make it better ether.
Fifteen minutes later I hear a knock on the door. It's Mulder, of course, it always is. Lately he has spent more time here than ever, he even has his own toothbrush here for those times he decides to sleep on my couch instead of his own.
"Come in," I call from the spot in front of the kitchen window, I still look out through it. A little girl has cached my eye, a very small girl with long brown hair. She walks there on the street all alone.
I think it's going to rain soon.
"Doing some research Agent Scully?" Mulder says and comes up behind me; I turn around and go to the dining table where he left the big box of pizza. It smells wonderful and I can feel how my belly screams after it. I take the box and caries it into the living room, Mulder isn't late to come after me, he's like a fucking tale. I know that I must tell him.
"Mulder," I say as we sit down, I in one corner of the sofa and he so close that he almost touches me, "I really need some space."
"Huh?" he looks at me without understanding what I am trying to say.
I hear the sound of thunder far away; it fits perfect to the mood I am in right now.
"I want you off my back!" the words come out of me sharp as knives, but when I have started I can't stop. "You're always around me! All the time! I want some space to breathe and think; ever since I told you you've been like this! How would you feel if I were following every one of your moves all the time?" when I finally stop he look at me with sad eyes and just at that moment all I want to do is hug him, but I've said what I've said.
"I guess I should go?"
"Yes, and take the pizza with you," I look at the box; we haven't even opened it, but I am not hungry anymore. I know that my words burned but that is nothing I can change.
"Bye," he whispers and closes the door behind him; I do not answer him, I don't know if I can.
The rain starts to fall outside; so do my silent tears.
I am all alone and so scarred.