Oblivion Pizza
Summary: The Organization cuts funding to the Castle Oblivion program, so Marluxia and the other members decide to start a pizza delivery service.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts
Marluxia was in an extremely agitated mood. He had just gotten off the phone with Xemnas who had informed him that, due to companywide budget cuts, Castle Oblivion's normal budget would now be halved. This obviously meant they would have to scale back on a few things.
"Let's see, even if we starve Axel and Namine, give that boy in the basement a fixed card battle system, cut funding for Vexen's replica program and sell Larxene's knife collection, we still come up short for the month," Marluxia groaned to Zexion.
"What if we opened a business?" Zexion asked.
"Well, yes I feel we could make a considerable amount in the field of bootlegging or prostitution. However, The Organization guidelines clearly state…" Zexion smacked the pink haired man mid sentence with his Lexicon.
"Not prostitution you dolt! I was thinking more along the lines of food. Back before I was a Nobody, I worked in a pizza kitchen during the summer in Radiant Garden. We could try doing something like that." He explained reasonably.
"Alright, I guess it'll do until we can really get that prostitution idea off the ground…" Marluxia muttered, as Zexion left to summon the other Nobodies.
"So, let me get this straight," Axel started "you want me, Organization XIII's biggest pyromaniac, working a 700 degree oven? Are you sure we're not trying to pull some kind of insurance scam here?" Marluxia stroked his chin in thought.
"Hmm… Insurance fraud… Zexion, add that to the list of ideas!" Zexion sighed and walled over to the write board marked "Reasons why I hate my job" and wrote "Insurance fraud" under "Possible prostitution ring" and "Is ordered around by a guy who worships flowers".
"I say it sounds like a fine experiment," Vexen said with a look of glee on his face "After all, I've wanted to try out a few new recipes for ages!" Axel's eyes widened.
"Oh hell no, you will get nowhere near a damn kitchen after the last time you decided to cook us all some food poisoning!" Axel yelled.
"Oh come on, everyone loves my cooking! Right guys?". Vexen whined. Larxene promptly threw up at the memory of the last time Vexen "cooked".
"No Vexen, you and Zexion will answering phones, Axel and Lexaeus, will make the pizzas and deliver them along with myself, Larxene and Namine." Marluxia said. Namine, who just realized she was expected to participate in this horrible excuse for a plot line, cowered in the corner.
"With a business plan like that, nothing can go wrong!" Larxene yelled.
"Oblivion pizza, how may I help you?" Zexion said.
"Uh yes, I'd like a cheese pizza delivered to the 4th floor basement," A voice on the other end of the line said.
"Alright, it'll be about 13 minutes, see you then," Zexion hung up the phone as Axel fired up the oven. As soon as it was ready, Zexion handed it to Lexaeus "Now Lexaeus, you will be delivering this to the 4th floor basement. Don't screw this up." Lexaeus nodded in agreement and used a Dark Corridor to arrive downstairs. A silver haired boy perked up when he entered.
"That scent… you're another one of those Nobodies!" The boy said.
"Uh, sir, I have your pizza here and…" Lexaeus was swiftly interrupted.
"I'm not afraid of the darkness!" The silverette screamed.
"That'll be $9.87 sir…" Lexaeus said uneasily.
"And if I refuse?!" The boy shouted.
"Then I'm going to beat it out of you. And then I'll eat your damn pizza. Right in front of you." Lexaeus said unfazed.
"You're finished!" The boy yelled as he leapt at him with a sword.
"It's my pizza now you shitty second rate protagonist!" Lexaeus yelled as he threw the boy into the ceiling. The boy yelled in surprise as he hit the ceiling and passed out as he hit the ground.
"Now," Lexaeus said, "As I have stated before, that will be $9.87, plus a now mandatory tip. And then I'll eat your pizza." As he said this he opened up the box and grabbed a slice. As he was about to take a bite, he noticed something strange about the unconscious boy. What was forming around him? Wait, was that darkness?! He boy, now dressed in a black and purple bodysuit, got into a crouch as he grabbed his sword. Suddenly, he ran Lexaeus through with it, and came out the other side.
"Too slow." He said in a low demonic voice. Lexaeus looked back, darkness starting to take him as he faded away.
"Forgive me Zexion, this was a delivery I should not have started…" he whispered as he faded into the darkness.
High above on the 13th floor, Zexion was busy adding" lack of job security" to the list on the white board.
So tell me what you guys think! I was considering turning this into a series, would anyone like to see that? Review or PM me if you think so, or not. Thanks for reading!