Adoration, a suits fanfic

A/N: This one is dedicated to my Trial of Five readers. You guys have been awesome, and I wanted to give you something to hold you over until Chapter 5 un-mangles itself.

Disclaimer: I do not own Suits—*cries*—the boys and Donna belong to USA Network and Aaron Korsh.

ADORATION

"She would take a bullet for Harvey. She adores him." –Sarah Rafferty (Donna)

Donna POV

"What did you do?"

The accusation was clear, even through the static of the intercom, and I was starting to regret allowing Harvey to meet with this particular client. Correction: former client. I kept a close eye on the office as I listened to the argument unfold.

Harvey raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I won the case."

"You sent my wife to jail!"

"Ex-wife, David, as she has been for three years," Harvey stood easily and buttoned his suit jacket, the image of cool and collected.

It was times like these that I admired the closer, though I would never admit that to his face. His ego was big enough. David Connelly's case had not been a walk in the park. It had masked itself as one though. Multi-billion dollar corporate owner plagued with an embezzlement lawsuit. It happens nearly every day at Pearson Hardman. Connelly had his suspicions laced through the corporate board for possible suspects in the financial theft. He came to Harvey Specter with a clean-cut case. It was anything but.

Not two days into the search had Mike stumbled on a certain loophole in Connelly's suspicions. Two weeks and a heap load of paperwork later, the embezzler turned out to be Connelly's ex-wife. The woman had been at it for over ten years, contributing to nearly fifteen million every two years. Needless to say once Harvey was done with it, the woman was booked for twenty years in jail. All well and deserved, except for the hitch in our morals where Connelly's daughter now hates him for what he did to her mother.

It was the kind of collateral damage that gave lawyers a sour reputation. It rarely happened to Harvey Specter. But when it did, it was always something like this. A moral code diminished in lieu of a case.

"You think I care about that?" Connelly bit out. "My daughter won't even speak to me! She's getting her aunt to challenge for custody!"

"You care about your company David," Harvey reminded evenly, seemingly undeterred by the outburst, "which is exactly why you came to my firm. Now I'm sorry if your daughter is unhappy with the result, I truly am. But she did not hire me," the closer reminded bluntly, "You did."

"Yes I did," Connelly bristled. "I hired you to finish this case, not ruin my family."

"Emma's sixteen," Harvey's voice had taken on an edge despite his calm posture. "She's young, and she'll learn," the lawyer slid his hands into his pockets, fixing Connelly with a familiar stare. "She will get over this. And when she does, she'll realize how wrong Mommy was and come running back to you."

"And supposedly you don't give a shit what happens before then," Connelly met Harvey's gaze with a glare.

I knew at that point that David Connelly was pushing some very dangerous buttons. Harvey Specter cared about his cases, and though he'd never admit it, his clients. And to have said client disgrace the hard work and effort that was put forth to even have a shot at winning his case… I could see David Connelly slowly being plucked from any of Harvey's remaining good-graces.

"This isn't domestic court Mr. Connelly," the senior partner's tone turned to ice. "I am not a family counselor, I'm your lawyer. You came to Pearson Hardman to handle a corporate dispute. And my firm did exactly what it was supposed to do."

"You and your firm ca—

I pushed the button forcefully to end the line and glared at the intercom. Rising from my chair, I grabbed a random file as I went. This had gone on long enough. Every now and then a disgruntled one would show up. They were always furious and stupidly needing someone to blame, even if that someone was simply doing what he was paid to do. What he was supposed to do. I hoped a distraction would be enough to do David Connelly some good. Harvey only had so much patience for idiots. And the lawyer was already beginning to simmer.

"Harvey the Linder files came in this morning," I called as I marched through the glass doors, eyes focused on the paperwork in my hand. It was classic portrayal of the busy, unobservant assistant who just happened to walk in on a meeting.

"Jessica wanted the signatures by today so…" I broke off and stopped at the edge of Harvey's desk, finally allowing myself to look up and meet the stares of the two men in the room. One was fighting an eye-roll. The other seemed stunned, and thankfully quiet. It was just too easy anymore. I smirked as I held out the files to the senior partner. This time I got the eye-roll, followed by a breath of well-masked relief.

"Later Donna," Harvey's irritation lacked its normal bite. "I'm busy with a client, so Jessica will have to wait," he motioned to the left corner of his desk lazily as he kept his focus on Connelly who still stood in front of the couch.

It was a well-practiced hint and I crossed in front of the closer to set the files in the appropriate place. I could not help but keep one eye on Connelly as well. The man remained rigid despite the quiet, and I could see him shaking in his place. He had been pushed too far. And even if it was by his doing, there were still definite damages to be undone. I met Harvey's eye in warning as I turned to face the client.

"My apologies Mr. Connelly," I started warmly as I leaned against the front edge of Harvey's desk. "Can I get you anything? Water maybe?" I questioned with a sincere smile, hoping to ease the man out of his apparent discord and into some form of common sense.

Connelly shook his head minutely and mumbled something incoherent.

My attention turned to the man at my right, expression an obvious question. The closer gave a noncommittal shrug and I focused again on the client.

"I'm sorry sir I didn—

"How do you people do it?" It was barely a whisper, but I caught it. And apparently so did Harvey.

"David," the closer began calmly as he did when he was placating his associate. "The case is over, and unfortunately there was some collateral damage, but there's nothing we can d—

"Shut up." Connelly demanded harshly, stopping me cold as my eyes widened in disbelief.

I looked at Harvey and could see the challenge flash through his eyes at the blatant disrespect. But he stayed silent, studying the man before him. The closer was waiting for something, and I watched warily as Connelly slowly began to pace.

"I don't want to hear about how there is nothing you can do. You had enough power to ruin my life. I find it hard to believe that there is absolutely nothing you can do t—

He cut off abruptly, taking a ragged breath and pinching the bridge of his nose before continuing.

"My daughter hates me, my business is falling apart, and my wife is in prison…" Connelly listed methodically, voice rising with each admittance. "Your firm did this. You did this… and I expect some goddamn resolution." His attention snapped directly to Harvey then and Connelly's now red face contorted into an accusing glare. "This is your fault!"

Silence filled the office. The only interruption was Connelly's ragged breathing. I felt more than saw the change in Harvey. The atmosphere to my right seemed to seep into coldness, and I knew without looking that the closer now returned Connelly's rigid stance and was waiting with his last lingering patience. Harvey had tried playing the calm card, the smooth-talking lawyer that had everything under control. That avenue had failed. The facts alone had failed. It had turned into a no-win situation, and to Harvey Specter, there was no such thing.

Movement from outside took my eyes off the tense standoff, only to reveal the familiar figure of our associate ambling towards the office. It was not long before Mike looked my way. It seemed I finally trained him to observe before he walked into Harvey's office without so much as a knock. My expression must have been a good one, for the puppy stopped in his tracks before moving further towards the glass doors. I would have laughed at his widening gaze if it were not for my current company. Might as well make the kid useful.

"Jessica," I mouthed to the associate, softly nodding my head in the direction of the managing partner's office.

Mike took the hint and obediently turned down the hall.

My gut told me this was not going well, and I might as well admit it… however grudgingly. Harvey and I were both too stubborn to call security, but I was not against using Jessica's prowess. The woman had a knack for ending disputes. And with the way this was unfolding, I needed her to be the ace in the hole.

I focused back on the scene before me. Connelly and Harvey had not moved an inch. Common sense told me Harvey had seen Mike, but Connelly still locked his attention. I stopped leaning on the desk and rose to my full height, matching the closer's stance and fixing on a glare of my own. My own silent offer of backup, there was power in numbers after all. And I was never opposed to scaring someone into submission.

"Mr. Connelly," Harvey's voice cut the quiet, tone cold and calculating and well past bullshit. "You hired this firm to handle your case. You wanted the best closer in the city, and you got him. Everything went according to plan. The plan you wanted. The plan you approved. Every plan has consequences, and I suggest you learn to deal with them. Your daughter deserves that much."

Harvey glared a final challenge to the man before removing himself back into his familiar mask of indifference. We were done here, whether David Connelly agreed or not.

"Mr. Connelly, I'll show you out," I said easily, taking a step between the two men as the closer turned towards his desk to gather paperwork.

"No," Connelly's response stopped my progress and I heard the papers go still behind me. This man could not take a hint. Harvey turned back to the client, cool expression intact, but did not take the bait.

"Sir I really don't think that's the best option," I continued, trying to keep my tone professional. I felt Harvey move closer, flanking me.

"I think it is," Connelly's words suddenly turned to ice. The tone had me snapping my gaze to his and he held my attention for the first time in the conversation. Exasperation was starting to set in.

"Excuse m—

My retort halted as I watched him pull the sleek metal object from his suit jacket. My mind played it in slow motion, and for once I could not believe what I was seeing. I heard Harvey's intake of breath from behind me as a click sliced through the air. The once petty argument became very real as I stared into the barrel of a gun.

...

It was known around the firm, and New York for that matter, that David Connelly was one of the few corporate billionaires who actually cared about more than the luxuries of money. His family meant the world to him. It was an admirable trait… when he wasn't pointing a 9mm at my chest.

I prided myself in knowing this firm. Every ridiculous detail, from an elder partner's latest romp with his mistress to what the IT squad had for lunch. But no amount of information at my mercy could prepare me for this. I eyed the barrel uneasily as it shook in Connelly's hand. The look on his face alone had me easing backward, palms out and nonthreatening. I went slowly, despite the part of my mind that was screaming at me to say still. I did not stop until I was aligned back with Harvey.

"I want it fixed," Connelly all but demanded, the gun finally going steady in his hand. "Now," he finished coldly.

"David," Harvey started calmly. I could see the underlying tension as he inched in front of me, hand raised in a placating gesture. "Put the gun down."

I did not have to see Connelly's returning glare to know that was not going to happen. With Harvey capturing the man's attention, I chanced a glance at the office door. Mike and Louis stood outside. Thankfully Jessica was beside them, cell already to her ear. From their expressions, I knew they had arrived moments before. Mike seemed to have settled from the initial shock and was watching Connelly intently, a grim expression on his tight-lipped face. I was surprised to find Louis lacking a smirk of victory as Harvey was backed into a corner. Instead he seemed to be listening intently to Jessica's phone debate.

Jessica was the only one to meet my eye, nodding slightly to me as she continued her phone conversation with what I was sure to be security. It was a slight miracle that Connelly had not seen them. Security protocol alerted the main units: 911, NYPD, and firm security. The floor was also to be evacuated. And I was suddenly glad not to be subjected to the wandering eyes of the firm.

I caught the managing partner's eye again briefly before returning to the events inside the office. Her warning was clear: I have it under control. Take care of him.

She had nothing to worry about. Harvey was not getting killed on my watch.

"David," Harvey tried again. "Put the gun down and we can discuss this reasonably."

"The gun's not going anywhere Specter," the client said resolutely. "I'm not an idiot. I know what happens. The instant I put this gun down, security is called and comes storming in here for my arrest. No, we are settling this now."

"Mr. Connelly," my voice snapped his attention away from the closer, and I wondered if he had forgotten my presence entirely. "Mr. Specter is good, but he's not that good."

I saw Harvey tense, but it was not from the insult. It was more for the fact that my interruption had gathered Connelly's attention, and Harvey had always been protective. Two could play that game.

I tried not to give the closer a heart attack as I eased from behind him and stood even at his left, landing my full attention on Connelly.

"Fixing a case takes time," I hedged carefully, making sure to keep my voice even and respectful. "I have no doubt that it can be fixed and damage can be undone, but it would be much more beneficial to do this normally and calmly," I emphasized with a pointed look to the raised gun.

"Calm stopped ten minutes ago when you told me there was nothing you could do," Connelly glared. "We tried it the normal, civil way. It didn't work."

"There are two ways this ends," Harvey spoke abruptly, deflecting Connelly back to him. "You can put the gun down and give us time to appeal the case. Let us find the loophole that will get Meredith out of prison and Emma on your side again. Or," Harvey paused and eyed Connelly with a glare of his own, "you can pull the trigger and go to jail for the rest of your life on murder charges."

"That's your decision Harvey," Connelly stated with vexing calm. "What will it be?"

"I'm not the one with the gun David," Harvey answered knowingly.

David Connelly considered the fact and I could see the wheels turning crookedly in his head. The eerie calm that had taken over the office left me on edge, and every sense I had was sending red flags flying. And as Connelly's decision was made, I felt my gut clench sickeningly.

"No," Connelly resolved. "You're not."

In a split-second Connelly's hand tightened on the gun, and as his trigger finger moved, there was only one option left…

...

Instinct launched me to my right, tackling Harvey to the ground as two shots fired. The impact sent a sharp pain through my left side as our bodies hit the carpet. I felt the floor vibrate with another weight and Harvey's arms tightened around me. I thought I heard Mike shout something, but I was not paying attention.

My voluntary tackle had pinned the closer beneath me. In any other circumstance the position would have had me wired, but all I could concentrate on was the relief as I felt him breathing. The adrenaline reamed through my system and my lungs tightened as I took a breath of my own. My left side pinched and I cursed whatever irritatingly pointy object Harvey had in his jacket pocket. Both our holds broke as I lifted myself off him.

I did not get far.

The pinch turned searing and my arms gave half-way through the lift. What the hell? The adrenaline must be wearing off, my arms worked fine a minute ago. I tried to reason with myself, but the lack of muscle ability was drowned by the sudden wave of pain that pulsated through my left. I gripped Harvey's forearms so tightly my knuckles bled white.

"Donna?" I heard Harvey question, but it sounded off.

Arms tightened around me again, and I bit my lip to keep from crying out as my side reacted to the added pressure. Harvey quickly rolled us so that I was lying flat on the carpet as the closer hovered over me. Which was odd; Harvey never hovered.

"Donna?" He questioned again and I vaguely wondered why he was repeating himself. Familiar hands held my shoulders and I swore Mike was barking in the distance.

"I'm fine Harvey," I gritted through my teeth as I pushed myself back up, but another wave had me hitting the carpet again. Harvey caught me. My right hand flew to grip my left side in some stupid attempt to stop the pain.

Harvey's eyes followed my hand and widened into a gaze I was sure I would never see again, but I did not have to question it. I knew seconds before he did as my hand hit a wetness that had not been there before. I clenched my eyes shut and refused to validate it. Looking would do nothing, I knew my hand would come away red.

...

"Shit." The closer cursed.

I felt Harvey shift and I opened my eyes to see him ripping his suit jacket from his shoulders and bundling the fabric into a thicker mass. My eyes widened and I twisted to stop him. Harvey ignored my protest and easily maneuvered past my attempt.

"We need to stop the bleeding," he said firmly as he reached across and gently lifted my right hand, laying the suit across the wound instead. "It's just a suit. It can be replaced."

I would have laughed if it weren't for the white-hot pain that shot through my torso the instant the added pressure hit my skin. An involuntary hiss escaped through my teeth, and I barely held in the scream.

"I'm sorry," he whispered softly, a sharp contrast to the tenseness rippling through his stance.

Harvey's arms strained against the suit and his jaw seemed to be permanently locked in place. His eyes were on fire as he glared at the soon blood-soaked fabric. Harvey Specter was furious. Furious that the situation had gotten out of control. That he couldn't stop it. And furious at me for taking the bullet I'm sure he had planned for himself. But beneath it all, I saw the worry he was trying so desperately to hide.

"Harvey," I caught his attention, wincing as my voice cracked. "I'm fine." I stated as firmly as I could, trying to ease his broiling emotion.

"No you're not." The answer was clipped and sharp, I was almost offended.

I tried a different tactic.

"Aren't you supposed to coddle me and say everything is going to be OK?" I left no sarcasm to waste and smirked as I remember every movie reference in existence that drowned this exact scene in sappy dialogue.

The corner of Harvey's mouth turned up slightly, but his retort was silenced by a scream that had me jumping despite the closer's pressure on my torso.

"Easy," Harvey soothed, but his gaze was ice as he turned his attention over his shoulder.

Whatever it was had him subconsciously pushing harder on my wound, and I was once again harshly reminded of the bullet burrowed into my stomach. I could have sworn I heard him call out to Louis, but my mind instantly baulked at the idea of the junior partner having anything to do with this. Blood-loss… it had to be the blood-loss.

"Harvey!" Another voice called to the closer and my focus fell to our associate as he scampered to my left side, sliding to his knees opposite of Harvey. If Harvey was worried, Mike was borderline panicked. A familiar rustling filled the air and I knew without looking that Mike's jacket had been added to Harvey's.

The older lawyer's attention fell back to the associate and I could see the unspoken question through the haze. It was getting harder to keep my eyes open. I vaguely wondered how long I had been lying here. It could not have been more than a couple of minutes, but it felt like an eternity. I forced myself awake at Mike's voice.

"The EMT's are on their way up," the pup answered. "Jessica already had them waiting… five minutes tops."

Harvey breathed a sigh of relief before his gaze fell back to mine. I concentrated on him, fighting the numbness that was working its way through my limbs. I was trying desperately not to give into what my body wanted. My expression must have scared him, but there was nothing I could do about it. We both knew I was losing too much blood, and despite my effort, there was no energy left to grip onto.

"Donna," Harvey's tone held a low warning and a hand jostled my shoulder.

My eyes blinked back open. Funny, I didn't remember closing them.

"Mike hold the pressure," the closer said.

The weight on my side released briefly before returning tenfold. The numbness reeled back for a few moments as the pain once again radiated through my side. My nails dug into the carpet and I released a growl through my teeth. If the kid weren't technically trying to save my life, I would hit him.

"That's better," I heard Harvey say quietly from above me as two hands framed my face. I knew those hands and I leaned into the warmth they provided.

"Donna I need you to stay awake," the closer continued, louder this time and masked in urgency so slight that I almost didn't catch it. He leaned over me then, limiting my line of vision to him and only him.

"I'm trying Harvey," I managed to get the words out. Somehow, I raised my hand to grasp his wrist. The contact grounded me.

"Try harder," the closer demanded with an unfamiliar edge, resting his forehead on mine. The soft pressure was comforting in contrast to the one straining against my abdomen.

I was content to remain like that and resigned myself to matching Harvey's breathing. Hoping the task would pass the time.

"Why?" I barely heard him question. Despite the simplicity, it took me a moment to fully comprehend it.

"Because I had to," I locked eyes with him and we stayed like that for what seemed like hours, but it was only moments before I heard the clatter of the stretcher and felt the steps of the EMT's as they resounded through the carpet.

I couldn't even gather the strength to protest as Harvey was pushed away.

...

Third Person POV

The muted chaos began the instant Harvey let go of Donna. The closer barely managed to move aside as the EMT's swarmed around his assistant, calling out stats and starting intravenous lines before he could blink. And for a moment Harvey could not move. Could do nothing but kneel there watching as Donna's life seemed to hang in the balance. And that thought alone scared him more than anything.

She was trying though, he could see it. Stubborn will locked her eyes with his. They held there until a medic returned to check her vitals and apply the oxygen mask. The abrupt shift was enough to snap the lawyer back into his surroundings. She would be OK, she had to be. She was Donna and there was no way she was going to quit on him now. The thoughts pushed Harvey to his feet. Taking in the scene, he caught his associate first.

Mike's face alone was a sheer encompassment of the unfolding events. The closer knew his expression mirrored Mike's, and for once he did nothing to stop it. Even his best poker face could not hide the blood-stained suit and ghostly pallor. The kid stayed clear of the EMT's. Eyes wide as he plastered himself up against the back glass of the office. The once clear glass was tainted red from Mike's hands, a vivid reminder of the last five minutes. The associate finally managed to meet Harvey's eye and only one thought resonated through the calamity.

How did this happen?

Harvey could not fathom it, nor did he want to. It was his fault. The situation got out of control, and for once he failed to handle it… to fix it. And his assistant was lying on the floor because of it. The closer growled in disgust, giving Mike a determined glare before finally tearing his attention away from the scene before him. New emotions had trigged a final realization, and there was business to be handled.

Immediately.

His best friend had taken a bullet meant for him… and he'd be damned if he let that go without a fight.

The older lawyer turned on his heel and strode toward the office door. Jessica appeared in his line of sight, arguing with the head of security over what he was sure to be how the hell a client got a gun into her firm. She caught his eye as he passed, asking the question she knew he couldn't answer. He did not have time for it though. He only had minutes before Donna made the descent to the lobby and the awaiting ambulance, and he planned to make the most of it. Harvey walked through the office door and was met by the one person he never thought he would want to see.

"Louis," the closer all but growled as he stopped fixed the junior partner with a knowing look. "Where is he?"

"Conference room," Louis answered.

The second the words left the lawyer's mouth, the senior partner was already striding towards the destination.

"He's handcuffed to the table," the junior partner continued, matching Harvey step-for-step. "You know the works, they can't take him in until the medics have a look, but we've been delaying that as long as possible," Louis finished with his familiar bite.

The junior partner seemed to almost take pleasure in the fact, and for once Harvey lingered on the same page. The comradery a result of some twisted reality that the senior partner seemed unable to shake himself from. No matter how hard he tried.

It had been Louis.

The second shot that Harvey had sworn to be an echo was product of the junior partner and his .44 Magnum. Harvey did not believe it at first, couldn't believe it really. It was the definition of unbelievable. Louis would never help him. The past ten years at the firm had been clear evidence to the fact. And there was still a part of Harvey that thought he did it for the glory, to be the hero, or hell, to live out some sick gun-slinging fantasy… but maybe, just maybe… there was something else. Maybe, for once in his career, Louis Litt actually managed to be a decent human being.

And for once in his career, Harvey Specter managed to have some ounce of gratitude towards Louis. The junior partner had prevented Connelly from taking the easy way out, consequently saving him and Donna from further damage. The former client had a hole in the shoulder to prove it. It gave Harvey exactly what he needed.

The glass walls showed Connelly handcuffed to the boardroom table, exactly as Louis said he would be. The man appeared to be bleeding heavily from his shoulder, but still remained relatively in one piece. That would need fixing. Harvey slowed as he reached the conference room doors, eyeing the three security guards ahead. It would only be a matter of time before the cops showed up, but the closer did not need long.

"Get rid of them," Harvey said lowly. Louis's confirming nod was all he needed as he strode through the doors. Ignoring the faint protests of the guards, his cold glare landed on David Connelly.

...

Donna POV

When the fog finally released me, the first thing my mind registered was an incessant beeping. The second was a warmth coming from my right. I subconsciously shifted toward it and regretted the movement as pain ghosted down my left, flaring to a pulse point in my stomach.

Well at least I wasn't dead.

As the pain faded, I managed to crack my eyes open. I was blinded by sheer whiteness and immediately closed my eyes again, but at least I had an answer. I was in a hospital. Score another point for the not-dead theory. I would never understand why hospitals insisted on white rooms. They were creepy and uninviting. Not to mention the whole, "Don't go towards the light" concept was completely debunked when you woke in a bright, white room.

Doctors… And people thought lawyers were manipulative bastards.

The thought of lawyers brought me back to my relative senses and I opened my eyes again. Slowly this time, letting them adjust. I smiled at the sight before me.

I found Mike first. The pup was completely zonked and stretched at an awkward angle across a tan leather chair at the foot of my bed. One leg stretched over the back of the chair while the other rested over the arm. He had somehow managed to twist the rest of his body onto his stomach so that his head rested near the end of the seat cushion, hanging halfway off the edge. His arms seemed to be the only things keeping him in place as they grasped the chair legs.

I shook my head and wondered how long it would take the kid to hit the floor.

In my movement, I caught a glimpse of brown through my peripheral. I followed the sight to my right and found the source of the warmth I had felt when I had first awakened. Harvey was asleep as well. Arms crossed over my right hand, while his head rested above them, tucked close to my side. His face was hidden from me, but the exhaustion was written all over the rest of him.

From what I could see, he was still in the clothes he had been in at the office. The white shirt was now wrinkled beyond repair; collar open, tie removed, and the sleeves had been rolled up to hide what I knew to be a blood stain. I grimaced at the memory, and slowly raised my left hand to Harvey's head. The accompanied IV was a hindrance, but I was able to reach just enough to run my fingers through the uncharacteristically abused locks.

I continued the motion out of habit, content to simply watch the boys sleep. The silence was almost nice compared to recent events. It was not meant to last however, as I felt the closer shift beneath my fingers. I removed my hand quietly, resting it back at my side and watched as Harvey seemed to warily shake himself awake.

When he finally raised his head to look at me, I felt my smile return at his look blatant surprise.

"Donna?"

"Aw… you remembered my name this time," I mocked quietly, not wanting to wake the puppy and honestly unsure of how much my voice could take.

Harvey smirked, but it was forced and didn't reach his eyes.

For a moment we sat in silence, neither of us quiet sure where to begin. I watched as the tension seemed to roll off Harvey in waves, adding to his already haggard appearance. The recent events seemed to have subjected the closer to emotions he would rather forget, or at the very least hide. But as he broke the silence, I realized he didn't want to.

"God Donna you scared the crap out of me." The tense admission wavered slightly as Harvey let a hiss of air out through his teeth. I watched his shoulders shake with the release.

"I'm sorry," I spoke sincerely, squeezing the hand that still held mine. I hated seeing him like this, especially on my account. It unnerved me seeing Harvey this… raw.

"What happened?" I asked hesitantly, unsure if he would want to give the details.

Harvey eyed me carefully before taking a deep breath and steeling himself, running his free hand through his hair stiffly.

"It was more than just a bullet wound," he began, lawyer tone firmly in place. "The bullet hit your stomach, which led to some internal bleeding. You went into emergency surgery to stop the bleeding and repair the organ damage. It was hours before we knew anything," the masked tone broke slightly at the memory and I held tighter. "Afterward, you were moved to ICU," Harvey continued, tone darkening. "They refused to let us see you… it was another twenty-four hours before we finally got approval and I—

"Hey," I interrupted softly, trying to soothe him out of his tirade. "I'm OK now Harvey. You guys did everything right and I got here in time. I'll be fi—

"Don't…" he whispered harshly, memories flashing across his face. "Say that word," he continued, eyes finally softening until they closed tightly. "Please, not again."

The please did it, and for once in our thirteen years, I was at a loss for words.

I let the silence run, honestly unsure of what to say. What I could say. I settled for keeping a hold of Harvey's hand, gently stroking my thumb across the knuckles in some act of comfort. The action seemed to be working, until my finger ran across an unfamiliar path of roughness. My attention fell to the hand I was holding and I felt my eyes widen in recognition.

Harvey's hand was black and blue. Red tinged the base of his knuckles and accented a jagged path of newly healed scrapes and longer abrasions that were the obvious result of impact. That realization alone seemed to jolt the remaining drowsiness out of my system.

"What did you do?" I accused softly, glaring at the bruising color and hating the fact that for once I was completely out of the loop.

I caught Harvey shift slightly in the corner of my eye and looked to find the closer glance at me questioningly before following my gaze to our adjoined hands. He eyed them uneasily for a moment, trying to make a decision. It was then I realized that this was far beyond the range of some dents in an innocent wall.

"Nothing," he replied in true lawyer fashion. He turned his darkened gaze to my heart monitor and seemed content in glaring the green blips to death.

"Harvey," I growled, and to my dismay it was not nearly to the caliber it should have been. Damn bullet wound.

The lawyer ignored my attempt, but I was having none of it. The man had the gall to lie to me… in a hospital of all places…

"Hey!" I called abruptly trying to transfer his attention and only succeeding when I pierced my nails into the sore skin of his hand.

He immediately winced and tried to pull his hand away, but I was having none of it and held fast, meeting his glare head-on.

"Talk," I warned when I had his attention, "now." I finished, emphasizing with a harder squeeze to the bruises.

"It was my fault," Harvey started in a dark tone. "I had to fix it."

"And cleaving David Connelly with your fists was fixing it?" I asked already irritated.

Harvey did not seem surprised I had come to that particular conclusion so quickly, but he did not fight it either. He simply regarded me with a matter-of-fact expression that did not need confirmation. We both knew it was the truth. Him through actual experience, and me through the blatant facts:

I had taken a bullet for him.

The action had backed Harvey into a wall. In any other circumstance, Harvey could easily unleash judgment on Connelly. He was the best closer in the city, and the best ADA before that. No, Harvey would normally have Connelly right where he wanted him: shaking in the defense chair of the courtroom with absolutely no hope of getting out of a single accusation not-guilty. But one little detail changed the circumstances entirely: me.

To the corporate world I was Harvey's assistant, but to the ones that mattered, I was Harvey's friend. Either was enough to taint the court lines. Harvey was emotionally attached, and any jury would easily see that. Any defense could easily prove it with the state the closer was in. And even though I was positive Jessica herself would handle all the pending charges, I knew Harvey. And there was no way he was going to sit there while someone else handled it. So he fixed it the only way that remained. I just hoped there was enough of Connelly left to avoid criminal charges of our own.

"Please tell me he's still in one piece," I sighed, relenting slightly and easing my grip on his hand. While one side of me was proud that the closer defended me, the other, more stubborn side, was pissed that he had risked himself like that. I hadn't taken a bullet for him to get sent to prison.

"As far as anyone is concerned, he tried to resist arrest," Harvey said quietly, but I could hear the smugness rolling off the words.

I looked up to see an all-too-familiar smirk plastered across his face. I tried my best to glare at his obvious satisfaction, but it was half-hearted.

"Jessica took care of it," the closer conceded knowingly. "And Mike and Louis technically abetted in the crime, so they won't be saying anything either," he ended in a chuckle.

My eyes widened at the last statement and I tried to wrap my mind around the mental image of Harvey, Mike, and Louis exacting revenge… Harvey alone was enough to deal with.

Harvey seemed to find my expression funny and his smirked widened.

"You will be telling me this later," I ordered once I reined back the previous shock.

"I can't tell you something that never happened Donna," Harvey mocked. "Simple laws of reality…"

"Harvey," I started begrudgingly, rolling my eyes despite the slight disorientation the habit brought forth. "I took a bullet for you. I think that grants me clemency from the laws of reality."

Despite the playfulness, I regretted my words as the smirk was instantly washed from the lawyer's face and was replaced by a deep look of regret. Behind the regret lingered the lasting glimpses of fear.

The playful smugness from Connelly's justice was gone, and in its place was the harsh reality of just how scared Harvey Specter was. Still is for that matter. And in the confines of the hospital room he was not afraid to show it. That one look had me reeling back to one sentence: It was my fault… He had admitted it, however grudgingly, but it was eating at him. And I'd be damned if I let him torture himself over a choice I had made.

"It's not your fault Harvey," I said knowingly, keeping our eyes interlocked.

He sighed and looked down, speaking to the linen.

"It shouldn't have happened. I let it get out of control. I should have called security when I had the chance, I—

"When we had the chance," I emphasized, stopping him midsentence. "I was right there with you. We were both too stubborn to call security. And even if we did, who's to say this still wouldn't have happened?"

Harvey's resolve seemed to shift as he considered the question. But for some reason I had a feeling he was not considering anything. His gaze shifted to that of one who had just accepted a challenge and he was not interested in backing off. In fact, it was as if he had a point to prove himself. The closer soon changed tactics and stood so that he was leaning over me instead of beside me. Needless to say he had my attention.

"Don't do anything like that again," he continued, discarding the previous point entirely. "Ever again," he finished sharply, locking me into his tumbling emotions.

I met his glare head-on, determined to make him see the validity in my actions.

"I was protecting you." I affirmed, not backing down. "And that's one thing I can never promise against."

"Donna," he warned.

"I don't regret it Harvey… and I never will." I finished, knowing he believed that much. He had to, knowing me this long. It was that stubborn protectiveness that would not let go. It made him so admiral, yet so goddamn irritating. I felt my patience simmering at the very thought and plowed on in resentment.

"And you would have done the exact same th—

His lips stopped my protest, and I did not even stand a chance. My resolve crumbled the instant he kissed me. And I responded in kind. Molding into him with everything I had and throwing all precedence out the window. Harvey matched me and I felt every single bottled emotion from the past two days pour into the force of the kiss. Telling me exactly how close I had been to losing him without even realizing it. And how scared he had really been… how we both had been.

Harvey pulled away first, both of us all too aware of my need to breathe. But he didn't go far, arms placed on each side of my head, holding his face inches from mine.

"Never again Donna," he ordered, breaths still coming out ragged.

"You're cheating," I accused. Glaring as I tried, and failed, to control my breathing.

Harvey smirked and his lips met mine again quick and firm before resting against my forehead.

"Please."

I shivered as the word brushed against my skin and I felt his lips smile in victory.

Damn him.

...

A/N:

I was actually going to wait to post this little guy, but I just had an absolutely **horrid** day (yay! Engineering) and was in need of some distractions = more fun for the readers.

Hopefully my TOF fans are happy—I tried to give you guys everything I have left out/been avoiding in the last 4 chapters of TOF and plowed it into this one… Chapter 5 of TOF is coming, but I'm not going to lie, I'm having trouble. So if anyone has any ideas, or anything they would like to see in Ch. 5, send me a PM or a review…

I apologize for the length. There were so many cruel, cruel ways I could split this into multiples… but I love you guys too much.

Please let me know what y'all think. This one has been in my head for a long time (it was actually a dream = why Harvey and Louis went all mafia lol), so I am really excited to get it out finally.

One more thing! = I did have an "Aftermath" of sorts set up for the end of this—just Donna's two cents on everything and recovery etc. I will gladly add it on as a chapter if anyone wants it, so please let me know in a review.

Love you all! Give the blue guy some hugs too!

-HV.