Author's Note:
I've decided to attempt the 100 prompt challenge based on Black Butler characters. This means each chapter will be a different story told by various characters based on a word or phrase as a prompt to write with. Each will be in a different style/POV with an attempt to cover every character in the show eventually (yes, even the minor characters).
I would love reviews/advice and such as it will keep me motivated to continue ^.^
Prompt one:
Repeat.
Thump, thump, thump.
The sound of my own beating heart, frail and dying can be heard throughout my being. The sound of death, the sound of having finally given up is all I can hear, and yet I feel more alive than ever.
That is because I can finally feel once more.
No longer do I fear. No longer do I live in the shadows of a boy who I detest with more passion than I ever thought I had. For Claude has finally wanted me.
Only, he wanted me to die.
And so, here I lay listening to my own heart beat, feeling the ever growing agony that rips through my stomach, burns my lungs and stains my face with endless flowing tears. Here I lay with blood staining my clothes, the rain beating my face and my own warmth replacing itself with a bone numbing chill.
I have longed for the day I would be noticed, needed, wanted since the day I had been born, been ripped away from mother, father, and later my brother. I had longed for the desire to love and to be loved by someone genuine, kind, caring, someone whom I could rely on through the worst of times, and yet in the end that someone too left me alone.
I suppose I should have saw it by the piercing look in my butler's eyes, the way they stared back at me so solidly, the way those glazed over eyes filled with hatred at my pure existence. And yet, I choose to ignore it, for I ached for attention, for affection, for someone to treat me like I was somebody again. I ached for another Luca.
And yes, I am heartbroken, for one would be when betrayed, but I am also slightly happy. For I have escaped the repetitive notion of my life.
No longer must I wake each morning, haunted by the memories which I carry upon my shoulders each day. No longer must I watch the people I love die, and those I detest use me once more. No longer must I lay in a bed stained with regrets, with the remembrance of the abuse I endured for the simple mean of living. No longer must I cry at the darkness, into the darkness, out of the darkness which haunts every inch of the life I have lived.
Now I can lay here, eyes closed and breath laboured, and smile for I am content.
And though I will always hate Claude for the pain he has caused me, at least now, I can return to my brother's side.
As the thump, thump, thump of my heart has finally chosen to reside.
~~
So I wrote this last night...four hours before my aunt passed away. Writing is my escape from so many things and something that keeps me sane. The support, all of it from all of you, is so motivating and encouraging and I cannot thank you all enough.
I love you guys.
~Summer