Just thought I'd take a shot and put two of my favorite things together: The Cullens, and The Griffins. I hope this comes out as funny as it was when it played out in my head as a dream! REVIEW!
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FAMILY GUY OR TWILIGHT!
THE BIRD PHASE
"I just don't see the point in going…I mean, what's so great about a place like this anyways? It's so far…" I complained.
"Bella, you're going to have fun. Trust me, I've seen it. Besides, if you really want to be honest this is your fault…you're the one who admitted you've never been to one." Alice looked over her shoulder at me; she was sitting in the passenger seat while Jasper drove us in the Volvo. Edward sat in the backseat with me.
"Jasper, you have to be on my side with this." I hoped.
"No, actually I'm quite excited. It's been a while since we've been to one, Forks doesn't have anything close to this. Not even Seattle has restaurants like this anymore." He said with a smile.
I looked over my shoulder out the back window at Rosalie's BMW, she was driving and Emmett was in the passenger seat grinning.
"Emmett says he bets you 50 bucks Bella chokes on something at dinner tonight Jazz." Edward said as he rolls his eyes.
"This is so stupid! You guys don't even eat! Why are we driving 4 hours just to go to some stupid 50's diner?" I threw my hands up in frustration.
"For the experience, love." Edward said as he squeezed my hand. After he said that, I sat back and just enjoyed the rest of the ride quietly.
When we got to the restaurant I had to admit it was a little cool, the decorations were very authentic and the signs and posters were real. The servers were dressed up like celebrities, some of them I didn't recognize, and the hostess was dressed in costume too.
"A table for 6 please." Alice said with a bright grin.
"Coming right up!" She said as she blew a huge pink bubble, and led us to a round booth. We all slid in, which was a bit awkward because of Emmett's size, but luckily I sat between Edward and Alice. [A/N: From left to right they sat with Edward on the edge, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, then Rosalie on the other edge.]
"So here are your menus and someone will be with you in just a moment." She said cheerily before she bounced away.
"Okay, seriously…I know there are things that still amaze me about you guys, but…50's diners?" I asked.
"Well, the 50's was a great time for everyone." Rosalie said.
"Rock and Roll was brand new," Jasper said.
"The cars were a lot more classic back then." Emmett added.
"And the clothes were nifty!" Alice was just bouncing with excitement.
"Besides, people were just beautiful back then. For example, look at Marilyn Monroe." She pointed to a waitress who was dressed like Marilyn Monroe.
"There's Elvis!" Emmett exclaimed.
"And ooh! James Dean…" Alice cooed.
"Oh, here comes Marilyn Monroe." Jasper said before sitting straight up and trying to look natural.
"What's with him?" I asked.
"Jasper's always had a thing for Marilyn Monroe. He carries a picture of her in his wallet." Edward told me.
She walked over to our table with her pad and pencil. "Well hello, I'm Marilyn and I'll be your server today. What can I get you guys?"
Instantaneously, they all looked over at me. You know, eating with the Cullens used to be just plain weird because they would stare at me so hard when I did, but now…I'm used to it.
"Um…I'll just have a cheeseburger with fries and a coke." I said.
"We'll have the same!" They all said together with such bright smiles it was creepy. She looked a little shocked, but then wrote down our orders.
"Neat-o! Coming right up, guys." She winked at us then walked away.
"Man…you know being here takes me back…to a time when life was much simpler. Even for us." Emmett sighed.
"I know what you mean. I remember when I could even OH MY GODDD!!!" Edward yelled with his eyes popping out of his head.
While he was speaking his sentence, the song from the jukebox ended and the next one began, making him freeze.
'A well-a everybody's heard…about the bird…'
"This is Surfin' Bird by The Trashmen! THIS WAS MY FAVORITE SONG OF ALL TIME!!!" He said excitedly, nearly bouncing in his seat in a very Alice-like fashion. I swear to you, I didn't even know the person I was sitting next to. It wasn't Edward.
He slid out of the booth and began dancing next to our table, doing some sort of twist movement that looked absolutely awkward as he sang along with the song. I've never actually seen Edward try to dance until now, apart from ballroom, and now I wish I could erase it from my memory.
"A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word"
I looked to Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett for some sort of explanation or help, but they all just looked annoyed.
"Oh not again," Alice sighed.
"I hate this song! I thought we left this song a long time ago!" Rosalie yelled.
"You see, Edward had an annoying fascination and obsession with this song back then…and we couldn't for the life of us figure out how to break it. We even considered moving without telling him." Jasper explained.
"How long did the phase last?" I asked.
"Thirty years." They said together.
I looked back to Edward, who was still singing and dancing.
He turned to us as he sang. "BELLA! Don't you know, about the bird? ALICE! Everybody knows that the bird is the word!"
He began singing and dancing around the restaurant, and I thought I was going to die of embarrassment. I know I had to be as red as Rosalie's lipstick.
"HEY, GUY BEHIND THE COUNTER! The bird is the word!"
He turned to a small family watching him. "HEY, FRIGHTENED LITTLE CHILD! The bird is the word!"
He ran to the girls' restroom. "LADY ON THE TOILET! The bird is the word!" He screamed in, and the lady yelled in fright.
He nearly scared Marilyn Monroe half to death. "DON'T YOU KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? SURE, EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! A well-a bird bird, b-bird's the word, a well-a bird!"
He was still dancing around the restaurant singing and now the people were clapping as if he were entertaining them.
"AGAIN! AGAIN! I LOVE REPITITION!" Emmett yelled out to him through his laugher, enjoying that Edward was making a fool out of himself. Rosalie smacked his head.
All of the sudden the record stopped and Edward's eyes flew to the worker who held the record in his hand. He flew over to him, probably a little faster than he was supposed to.
"Hey, what's the big idea?!?" He yelled.
"This song is from the 1960's. It shouldn't be in this jukebox." He said.
"Well I'll buy the record from you. I love that song!" Edward said, fully prepared to take out his wallet.
"Sorry, it's not for sale." He said.
"Aw, come on…what will it take?" Edward said with smoldering eyes, he was trying to dazzle the guy. Does that actually work on guys?
I saw Edward's eyes briefly look over at us, then back at the guy. "I'll let you have sex with my sister…" He said in his velvety voice, and we all looked at him in shock.
"Who's your sister?" He asked, this guy was a pervert.
"She's uh…riiiiiight…there!" Edward pointed over to our table, letting his finger glide over Alice and Rosalie, and then he landed on Rosalie. The guy creepily grinned while nodding his head slowly.
"EDWARD CULLEN, SO HELP ME GOD I WILL RIP YOU A NEW ONE!!!" Rosalie screeched through gritted teeth.
Edward's eyes widened with fear. "I mean, these are my sisters," He said quickly. "But I really meant…her." He pointed to some random woman sitting at the soda bar with a tight black dress on.
"Hmm…I don't know…" The guy said.
"Come on." Edward said encouragingly.
"Well…okay. I'll do her. But can you tell her to cry and beg me to stop?" He asked seriously.
Okay, I take it back. That guy wasn't a pervert. He was a predatory rapist.
Edward paused for a second and we knew he was reading someone's mind. His smile grew even wider. "I think that can be arranged." The guy nodded and handed Edward the record, then Edward walked back over to our table and sat down like nothing happened.
"Edward what the hell is wrong with you?" Rosalie yelled.
"What would Carlisle think?" Alice asked.
"What? Why are you yelling at me? I read her mind alright, she's into that sort of thing." He said, and we all let it go.
So I stand corrected again. That guy is a predatory rapist, and that chick is a freak.
REVIEW pLEASE! :D