AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ok…so this is comicverse and it follows the very recent "Logan had a lock of Jean's hair" in NXM. Effing Marvel, dude! I don't know if they're going to develop this or if we're just supposed to think Logan's a creeper who secretly steals Jean's hairbrush or something… but I SWEAR it hints to "something more," so I took my liberty with that "something more" while writing this story.
This is not a story about Jean & Logan holding hands and having milk and cookies or something, so if you're not okay with that, stop reading now!
* * *
So yeah, I had a lock of her hair.
And now everybody here's lookin' at me like I'm some kinda pervert or somethin'… but hell, half of 'em already looked at me like that so it's not like I give a shit. Guess they all think I snuck in on her while she was sleepin' and stole a piece or somethin' creepy like that.
Let 'em think what they want, the truth is a whole different story. Of course, clearin' my name would mean throwin' Jeannie's in the dirt, and that's not something I'd do. I can take the hit to my reputation. Wouldn't be the first, won't be the last.
Bein' the only who knows the truth though—that hurts.
What really went down that night is somethin' I'm ain't gonna forget, ever. Well, unless the government gets a hold of me again, or anybody else decides ta fuck with my head—and that's a big if, considerin' my profession—but if there's one memory I can keep, I hope it's this one.
It happened a month before Jean died. I remember the date like the back of my hand, 'cause it's been burned into my soul since the day Nova took her down and we lost her again.
Nah wait. I'll back up 'til before then, before that night, an' maybe I won't come off as so much of an asshole. Trouble always is, even if it ain't my fault I always seem to take the blame. Part of bein' the loner on the team I guess. Everybody just assumes the worst of ya.
Ah, Jeannie.
After the whole Apocalypse thing, she'd been complainin' to me about Cyke on and off, tellin' me he was different, he was cold, and to tell the truth I never took her too seriously. I mean, don't get me wrong, I knew Cyke was being a dick, but I always figured the two of them were too Brady Bunch to ever seriously consider breaking up or straying.
I guess I was wrong.
A week before it happened, she'd come crying to me. I'd been out workin' on the x-jet--maintenance stuff, replacin' filters, running instrument diagnostics an' all that—and Jeannie'd run in through the door of the hangar in tears. It wasn't like her at all—ya know, she was always composed in tough situations. I knew somethin' was seriously wrong, so I wiped my hands and jumped down to ground level to meet her.
She sorta threw herself into my arms, which hey, I didn't mind, but I was worried. I remember thinking, if facin' down death couldn't make her cry, then what the hell had just happened?
She let me hold her for a little bit, and then when she'd calmed down some she lifted her head up and wiped her eyes.
"Hey Red… you all right?" I asked.
She nodded silently and then shook her head. I could tell her face was startin' to get red and she was lookin' embarrassed. The strong smell of distress was in the air and it burned my nose, agitatin' me. It put me on edge, made me wanna fix it, but I had a feelin' it wasn't gonna be as easy as all that.
"Logan," Jean said, lookin' up at me with those gorgeous green eyes a hers. Her jaw was clenched tight for a second and then she just up and said it. "He cheated. He cheated on me."
"What?" I asked, surprised as hell. It was the last thing I was expectin'. I had already guessed it was something to do with ol' one-eye, because everything that made Jeannie upset these days did, but when she said that I had trouble believing it.
"You sure?" I asked. "'Cause it's not like Cyke and I are drinking buddies, but that doesn't sound like him. Ya mean, cheated, like—"
"Yes Logan, cheated. In Hong Kong, he-- he's having an affair with Emma. I saw it. In his mind. I saw everything! The two of them, they…" Jean dissolved into tears again and I pulled her up against me.
I won't lie to ya, I enjoyed it a little. I don't know what it is, but every time me an' Jeannie are close like that, it just feels right. I can't think of a better way to describe it, but I always wondered if she felt it too.
I didn't have much time to enjoy it though, 'cause by then I was seein' red. I was pissed off at Summers. I didn't know what the fuck his problem was—hell, I still don't know—but I knew I was sick of seeing him hurtin' Jeannie like that. And cheatin' on her with some plastic bitch like Emma Frost was pretty much the lowest he could go in my book.
I don't know whether Jeannie was sneakin' around in my head or just knew me too well, but almost immediately she looked pleadingly at me and said, "Logan, promise me you won't tell him. Don't fight him either. Promise me, this just stays between the two of us."
I looked at her hard—her body language was screamin' nervousness, she was grippin' her hands together 'til her knuckles were white, and her face still had traces a' tears, but even then she still looked beautiful.
I let out a sigh, crossin' my arms, tryin' to keep my temper in check. I couldn't refuse her, and she knew it. It's prob'ly why she'd gone to me in the first place. I've always been a sucker for the redheads, but I guess ya didn't need to be a telepath to know that.
"Yeah, I promise you Red," I said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "But you promise me somethin' too."
"What?" Jean asked, and she looked like she was about to cry again.
I swear all I wanted to do was sink my claws into Cyke right then—let him feel some pain for once, but I'm a man of my word, and I knew I had to keep Jean's secret.
I put one hand on her shoulder, and looked her in the eye. "Promise me that you'll do somethin' to make yourself happy Jeannie. Screw Cyke, if he's going through some tough shit, that's too bad for him. I don't ever wanna see you cryin' like this again."
Jean looked at me with somethin' like gratitude. I wondered how long it'd been since anybody'd shown her real love. And a course I wondered how long it'd been since Cyke had slept with her and, ya know, treated her like a real woman. I hadn't smelled him on her in a while, and after her confession I doubted that was going to change.
I felt all torn up on the insides—on the one hand, she was Jeannie, she was the woman I loved, and I wanted her. I'd go through hell and back for her, and she knew that. But at the same time, I knew this was a delicate situation an' all, and I didn't want to take advantage.
They say the heart learns lessons, an' the one mine has learned is not to get too close to any situation or it'll burn ya. If things were goin' down between Jeannie and Cyke, I didn't want to be part of the reason why.
"I should go, Logan," Jean said, some guardedness creeping back into her voice. I guess she'd known what I was thinkin', or maybe she was thinkin' the same thing.
"Yeah," I replied shortly, takin' a step away. The two of us backed up a few paces and it was kinda awkward, just standin' there, not sure what to do. I knew what I wanted to say, but I held it back. Jeannie had enough trouble right now without worryin' about us.
"Talking really helped Logan, I just… I needed to tell someone. I needed to get it off my chest," Jean said, and tried to smile, but it wasn't her real smile. That smile can light up a room. This one had shades o' pain., and it was all because of Cyke.
"It's all right darlin'. I understand. Just don't forget yer promise," I said, turning back to the jet.
"You either," she said, and I could hear that smile faltering in her voice.
I turned my back as she walked out.
* * *
I thought that was the end of it. Tell the truth, I kinda forgot about it, and things went back to normal. I figured they worked it out, or even if they didn't --either way, wasn't none of my business.
Nothin' could've prepared me for what happened next.
It was a late night, around 2am, and I was headin' upstairs to go crash in my room. I'd thought of goin' out to a dive bar, shootin' some pool, drownin' my sorrows, but I remembered that we had some damn kiddie mission in the mornin'… somethin' about mutant awareness for grade school, and I had to be up early. It was a favor to Charlie, he made me promise ta go as an apology for smashin' the flatscreen in the game room.
Yeah that's a whole other story. It was Hockey, an' I don't wanna talk about it.
I got up to my room, threw my clothes in the direction of the laundry, and stretched out on the bed. I'll give Chuck credit for one thing, he knows how to outfit a guest room. I was just startin' to drift off when I heard footsteps down the hallway.
They were soft and even, I could tell it was a woman from the way she moved. They paused in front of my door. This perked my interest up, 'cause it sounded like a more than someone just gettin' a midnight snack.
I heard a hand touch the other side of the doorknob softly, and then I smelled it, smelled Jeannie.
She opened the door, and then she closed it behind her.
She musta known I'd already sensed her, because she didn't say anything, no greeting, just walked over barefoot to the bed.
I sat up halfway an' opened my mouth to speak, but she put her hand against my lips, fingers stroking lightly across my face.
I swear I thought I was dreamin' for a minute, but when she took away her hand and kissed me, I knew it was real, even if it was too good to be true.
There was a million questions goin' through my head, but the second I felt those lips press against mine, her tongue slipping into my mouth, I forgot everything except for the way she tasted and I kissed back.
For a split second, just a split second, I held back. Some little remnant a' Cyke flashed through my head. Just as fast I buried it. Fuck Summers. I told him a man had ta mow his own lawn, and if Jeannie was out shoppin' for new mowers it was his own damn fault.
If I got lucky in the process, well… I'd been runnin' on a streak a bad luck for as long as I could remember. It was about damn time somethin' good came my way.
And this was good. Christ Almighty, it was good.
I pulled Jeannie closer and she moaned against my mouth and pulled up her other leg onto the bed so she was straddlin' me, and I ran my hand up that smooth, white thigh, and then up her back, amazed that this was happenin'. She was wearin' a nightgown, like one of those sexy see-through type things, but it was short, and it was ridin' up just enough for me to see she didn't have anything on underneath.
She looked damn good, and Jesus she smelled fuckin' delicious. I can't even describe to ya what a good sense of smell can tell you about a woman, but the second I realized how turned on Jeannie really was it pulled me back to reality, I realized with a groan that this was somethin' she might regret.
"Jeannie," I whispered, backing off for a second an' holding her wrists gently as she gave a little moan of protest. "Are ya sure?"
I really hated myself for askin' that, but I knew I'd hate myself more if she never talked to me again after decidin' tonight had been a mistake.
"Don't talk Logan. Just touch me," She said, breathless, and her scent was affectin' me like fuckin' catnip or somethin'. I swear it was messin' with my mind. I struggled for a second to regain control of myself. Never a better way to ruin a hot date than by turning into an animal five seconds in.
There was a pause in the air, like static, makin' the hairs on the back o' my neck stand up. It was like the two of us were standin' on the edge of a precipice, lookin' down together.
"What do you want me to do?" I asked her, my voice soundin' more urgent than I meant it to.
"Everything," she said, the word comin' out all sultry.
That was it.
She didn't haveta tell me twice. I pulled her back down to me, soft breasts against my chest, fingernails bitin' in slightly, and we kissed again, this time deeper.
I'd been hard since she'd started kissin' me, but now I was achin' and I used one hand to cup her ass and nudge her up against me. She settled against my crotch and started grindin' me in a way that drove me half crazy.
I moved away from Jeannie's mouth and latched onto her neck, and her hair tumbled forward onta me as I slid my hands up her stomach to cup her breasts. I brushed my thumbs up against her nipples, growlin' a little when I felt them harden as she responded to me. I let go of her neck and dipped my head down to suck a nipple, and she ran her fingernails through my hair, slidin' herself against my cock, like we were a couple of teenagers dry humpin' or something.
That's what it felt like—that kind of barely-under-control hormone racin' kinda lust, where you don't even know what the hell the you're doin', just lettin' your body lead an' trying to let your mind follow—she was moanin' like a cat in heat, I don't think she realized how loud she was bein' an' that just turned me on even more.
Not braggin' or anything, but I've slept with my share a women, and it's been good, it's been better than good, but it ain't never been good like this. It was like dyin' a thirst and tastin' water for the first time, I couldn't stop myself, I wanted her so bad.
God, she tasted so good, smelled so good—clean, like soap, and then kinda sweet and salty at once.
I picked Jean up and laid her back, settling myself over her. I pushed her legs apart as I settled in between. She was pressed underneath me, hands thrown back against the covers, hair splayed out everywhere, breathin' hard and starin' up at my face with an expression somewhere between excited and scared.
Her eyes were clouded over with lust, but I wanted her there, with me, when it happened.
"Look at me Jeannie," I said. I'd put my leg between hers and she was grindin' up on it, drivin' me crazy. I tried ignorin' my instincts but it wasn't working. I gave in for a few more seconds and sucked her tits again, trailing up to her neck and gently bitin' her jaw before I repeated it. "Look at me, darlin'."
Her eyes focused on my face, an' all the excitement an' anticipation an' pain and pleasure was there, plain to see. I wondered if I looked the same way to her. It was like a first time all over again, and I'll tell you, I ain't had many of those. Any that I can remember, anyway.
I took my cock in my hand and fit it against her. She was soakin' wet, she had been since she'd climbed on, but I was still worried about hurtin' her—I didn't know the last time she'd done this, and she seemed so delicate under me. It was hard enough for me—the beast inside of me was poundin' in my head for me to mate, fuck her, fast n' hard as I wanted to, but I knew Jeannie needed a man, and that's what I was gonna give her. I rocked my hips forward to push in a little, and she started panting, her arms coming up around my neck an' tuggin' on my hair and my sideburns, pulling me down to kiss her.
We kissed like that, close, and I pushed harder an' slid up all the way inside her. I went stock still, just feelin' her there, tight around me. For second I couldn't believe it—that I was inside a Jeannie, that she'd let me—an' it was warm an' slick an' the closest thing I'd ever felt to heaven. She opened her eyes and blinked at me, and it was sexy and innocent all at once. I pulled out with a hiss, my eyes still on her face, and she moaned my name, "Ohhhhh Logan, yesssss."
Hearin' those words comin' out of Jeannie like that just set me off. I felt a shiver of pleasure run through me as I struggled to keep my control. I buried my cock all the way inside a her, and I pulled out and slowly pushed all the way back in again, feelin' her all hot an' wet, slidin' around me. Each slow stroke she moaned and I moaned, no words, and her head was thrown back so that white line o' her neck stood out, invitin' me to suck it, kiss it.
"Loooogan," Jeannie moaned again drawin' my name out, and I was thinkin' I wouldn't mind hearin' that a thousand times. I grabbed one of her hips for leverage as I slid slowly in an' out. God, it felt so fuckin' good I knew I wasn't gonna be able to hold this pace for too long.
Jeannie bit down on my shoulder an' I lost control for a second, thrusting hard into her, and she gave a little surprised cry. I was angled so that my hips were flat against hers and I laughed when she yelped. She laughed back at me, and I buried my face in her neck, kissing her, biting her earlobe.
"Shoulda expected that I guess," she said, giving me a sexy little grin and pushing her hips back up against mine.
"It's me, ain't it Jeannie?" I said, matching her hips and pushing her down into the mattress. She responded by drawing her knees up, letting me go as deep as I could.
"Hold on Red, baby," I growled as I rolled her over so that she was on top of me. She tossed her hair back over her shoulder and leaned back, giving me one hell of an eyeful, and started to ride me.
I swear she looked like some kinda goddess or somethin'—she was unconsciously lickin' her lips, an' I watched the blush that spread down her chest, those gorgeous tits of hers bouncing right in front of my face with every stroke, it was something I wanted burned in my mind forever. I felt my balls tighten and I knew I was gonna cum soon, but it didn't really matter—I can go at least three or four times without a break, thanks to the ol' healin' factor, so I just lay back and let her do what she wanted.
She was workin' herself on me and obviously enjoyin' it. She'd started moaning louder, and her eyes were open but unfocused. Then I guess she thought I was getting' lazy or somethin', because at that moment she leaned down with a gleam in her eyes. "God Logan, keep fucking me," she gasped, and at the same time she dug her nails down, dragging 'em across my arms.
It was totally unexpected, and I reacted without even thinkin'—I threw her over so that I was back on top, one of her long legs over my shoulder, and fucked her hard, cumming after about ten fast strokes.
To my surprise, she came with me—and LOUD, she yelled "Wolver--!" a the top o' her lungs and I had to put my hand over her mouth. She bit one of my fingers, and I growled furiously at her, thrusting in again, and she was coming so hard I could actually feel her around me, feel the rest of her body shakin' like a leaf.
Then she started laughing. I was about five seconds behind her but I started in too, collapsing on top of her, unhooking her leg from my shoulder.
"What the fuck was that, darlin'?" I asked, and we were both laughin' so hard we couldn't breathe.
"Logan! You're crushing me!" Jean protested weakly, wiping tears out of the corner of her eyes.
I rolled off her and put my hands behind my the back of my head, grinnin' like a fool.
"Shit Jeannie. You can't just do that to a man an' expect nothin' to happen."
"You GROWLED at me Logan! And you—ow, I'm gonna be sore," She said in that cute kinda mad voice women use when they ain't really mad at all, rolling over to lie halfway on my chest. I could feel myself gettin' hard again and I wondered if she'd figured out the fun wasn't over yet.
"You scratched me! And bit me! Hell Jeannie, I never knew you were such a wildcat in bed," I replied, playin' along with her little game.
"Oh come on…you must've imagined," she said smiling at me with that gorgeous half-sleepy smile women get after you make 'em cum. I know whenever I see that I've done my job, an' Jeannie was lookin' just like the cat that ate a whole birdhouse full a canaries.
I curled myself around her, and when she felt my dick against her she looked back with this sly smile. "Healing factor?" she whispered. I tried not to look too cocky, although a course I was feelin' the best I'd felt in the last decade or so.
"However long you want it darlin', I'll give it to ya," I promised, rubbing against the soft curve of her ass. She flipped around to face me and we kissed, face to face.
"Why you doin' this Jeannie?" I asked softly, not really wantin' the answer but feelin' compelled to ask. I squeezed a soft breast and then ran my hand over the curve of her body. She had to be the sexiest woman I've ever seen, an' that's sayin' something. But I knew I was livin' on borrowed time. I felt like I had stumbled into a mansion' an' was leadin' a millionaire's life. Sooner or later, he'd come home an' I'd have to hit the road.
Sooner or later Cyke would be back, I knew. I'm a lot of things but I ain't stupid.
"Why? Because you told me to," she said with an almost shy grin.
"What?" I asked. I mean sure, I made those type a' requests all the time in my head, but I'm pretty damn certain' I never said it out loud. I mean at least not to her.
"Remember Logan? You made me promise. You made me promise I would do something to make myself happy."
I looked at her for a few minutes in disbelief as she grinned away, bitin' her lip a little, an' then I slowly shook my head.
"Darlin', you'll be the death a' me," I said. And then softly, I pulled her body up against mine and kissed her. "Mmm, but what a way to go," I whispered, runnin' a hand through her hair as she pulled my face close.
Jeannie really liked kissin', I could tell. I wasn't complainin', it was nice 'cause it made us feel close. I mean, I've fucked without kissin' before. It's more like scratchin' an itch than anything else. This thing with Jeannie, this was good—it was hot, it was sweet, but it was also makin' me feel dangerously close ta something more, and that made me pull away.
There were some things I could handle, like pleasurin' Jeannie—hell I'd do that whenever, wherever. But then there were other things, like love—that was a different beast all together. An' right now, it was enough to just ignore it and take in what I'd been fantasizin' about for a good ten years.
In one move, I rolled her back over, onto her stomach.
"What are you doing?" She asked in a mock-playful voice. I moved over her and lay against her back, my shoulders on top of hers, my mouth close to her ear.
"Get on yer knees," I growled, an' I felt a little shiver run through her body. Good. I was more than ready fer round two.
I took a second to enjoy the view from this new position before I mounted her from behind. She did a little gasp, and leaned back. I had my hands on her breasts, my head tucked against her neck, her soft hair fallin' down her back and against my face.
"I wanna hear you come for me Jeannie," I said, sliding one hand off a breast and down between her legs, thrusting in an' out at the same time.
I felt her clit underneath my fingertips an' started rubbin' in little circles. "Yeah, right there," she gasped, making me smile against her neck. Ya know, I don't remember much of my life, but one thing I seemed to have picked up was this. Apparently, along the line, my experience paid off 'cause I've never had any complaints from women.
I kept thrusting into her an' listenin' to her moans get louder until her knees finally buckled and she fell forward, catchin' herself on her hands, pushin' herself back against my cock. I followed her down, my chest against her back, thrustin' in deep and rubbin' her harder.
She started pleadin' with me and I sped up my fingers until I felt her body stiffen and she cried out, "Yeah, oh yes right there Logan please I'm coming don't stop Logan Logan fuck me ohhhh, yes, yes!" The words hit my ears like music. Hearin' Jeannie beg me to fuck her was pretty much on the top o' my list of… uh, well of anything.
My turn. I pushed myself off her back and held on to her hips, tilted my head back and rode her, losin' myself in the feeling, the feelin' of her pussy slidin' around me, and then I came inside her, groanin' her name as I went over the edge.
We collapsed together, me on top o' her, but at the last minute I remembered and shifted my weight so she didn't have to take it all on.
She flipped over and I pulled her next to me, burying my face in her hair. God, she smelled so good right then, like me an' like sex and like Jeannie. It was the perfect combination.
"Are you…smelling me Logan?" Jeannie asked curiously with a smile in her voice.
"Mmmm," I responded, burrowing farther.
Jeannie startled giggling, "Logan, stop it. That tickles. And I feel like I'm in bed with a giant Labrador retriever or something."
"Smells so good…" I said, nuzzling the size of her face with mine, "I wish I could replace those shitty incense candles 'Ro burns with your scent instead. I wish everythin' smelled like you, Jeannie. A whole mansion full a' Jeannie."
"Why thank you ," She said in an amused tone. "What an…original compliment."
I laughed an' she laughed too, and I took her face in my hands, giving her a soft kiss.
Then, all of a sudden it turned serious. Maybe it was because all the chemicals were wearin' off or just because it was the first time we'd seriously paused from pawin' all over each other, but when Jean leaned in an' kissed me again it felt very different. The mood had changed, I could feel it in the air.
"The world isn't ending," Jean said softly against my lips, an' she sounded a little sad.
"What do ya mean?" I asked, tracin' a finger around the shell of her ear an' her jawline. I felt so lucky to have Jeannie here with me, I wanted every sense alive an' tellin' me it was true. Savin' it. Keepin' it my memory so that during the bad times I'd have it with me, keepin' me alive.
"First time…we're kissing and the world isn't even ending," Jean said again, this time giving a sad smile. "We're not dying. It's just you and me, and we're happy."
"Hey, yer right," I said, smiling back, but I my heart was startin' to feel the pain. I knew it was only a matter of time before it caught up to me, but I wasn't expectin' it so soon. I didn't want it to end. I didn't want to let go of this fleeting piece o' happiness.
"Jean," I said, an then I stopped because I thought my voice was gonna break, and I'm not really the kind a guy who cries after sex if ya know what I mean. It kind of messes with yer rep as a badass, that an' I don't tend to get real mushy about things.
This was different, though.
I waited 'til I had a little control, and then I asked the question I was scared to ask.
"Jeannie, is this ever gonna happen again?" My voice kinda shook anyway, but fuck it. She was a psychic, an' even a blind man could see that this was hurtin' me.
She looked at me and her eyes filled up and almost instantly tear droplets splattered onto the bed, makin' little round stains.
"I don't know Logan," she whispered, looking away from me, lookin' down. "I'm so confused."
It was the answer I was dreadin'. I closed my eyes, closed 'em against the pain. I could feel it wellin' up in me, dancin' in me like a thousand knives, like a tidal wave draggin' me away from everything I'd ever wanted.
Jeannie leavin' him for me… that was just wishful thinkin', and I knew it. She was never gonna leave me for Cyke, even if she loved me more than him, even if he cheated on her with a thousand women. A part of me knew it an' that part felt like it was bleedin' out inside.
So I had to say it, so at least she knew.
"Jean," I said, opening my eyes. Tears were still rollin' down her face, and when I said my name her expression turned to despair.
"Don't say it Logan, please, don't," she said, but I couldn't help it, 'cause if there's one good thing about me it's honesty. I don't do bullshit an' I don't see any point in lyin', especially about the important stuff.
"I love you," I said. "I'm in love you, Jeannie. Always have been, always will be."
An' then I closed my eyes 'cause I didn't want to see what it did to her, and my hands were on her skin' an' it was so warm, and I just held her there. I could feel her body shake a little 'cause she was sobbing, an' I felt so bad 'cause I knew that I was partly responsible, but at the same time it was a relief.
It was a relief because finally, she an' I were on the same page. Maybe she was cryin', but I was feelin' the hurt too. At least we could do it in the comfort of each other's arms. An' I had made her happy, at least for a while. I knew that, an' it gave me peace.
We quiet for a little while, an' I thought she might be sleepin', so It startled me when she spoke up.
"I want to see your claws, Logan," she said.
"Ya wanna…why?" I asked, findin' temporary relief from the pain in distraction.
"Just trust me," she said. "Do it, Logan." Her voice was assured, steady.
Opening my eyes so I wouldn't accidentally stab her, I lifted my right hand into a fist, and with a wince I unsheathed my claws.
See, it's a little different doin' it when I'm not in combat. When I'm fightin' someone I got so much adrenaline in my body poppin' the claws might as well be like feelin' a mosquito bite. When I'm like this, relaxed, I can really feel the sharp bite o' adamantium, the sudden explosion of pain down along my wrist an' forearm, and it's a pretty intense kinda pain.
Once they're out everythin' heals almost instantly, an' I'm just left with the phantom pain, just a trace left behind. I stopped grittin' my teeth as soon as they were out.
Jean sorta examined them for a second. Then, carefully, she took a strand of her hair and held it against one of my claws. The adamantium cut through the hair effortlessly. She took the fiery strand and pressed it into the palm of my other hand, closing my fingers over it.
"Here," she said, "Keep it."
I sheathed my claws and opened my hand. There was a little piece o' Jeannie, a piece that didn't have to leave, a piece that I could keep forever. Even if my memory failed me, I had this.
I looked at her with an understanding in my eyes.
"He's my husband, Logan," Jean said, and she sounded sad and tired. "I have to try and work things out with him. I … I wouldn't be me if I didn't. And I know you love me for who I am."
"I know, baby," I said pullin' her in again with one arm and feelin' the lock of hair in my other hand. It was somethin' tangible, real.
Jean settled her head onto my shoulder and ran her hand along the matted hair on my chest, an' I made rumblin' sound of approval in my throat.
"But…" she said, her hand stopping for a moment as she looked pleadingly up into my eyes. "That doesn't mean I won't be back Logan. What I feel for you… what we have… I…"
She stopped, an' this time I could tell it was her at the breakin' point not me. I knew I could do it. I knew I could push her right now an' get what I wanted, 'cause she was vulnerable an' she was lonely. But I couldn't do it to her.
"Jeannie, you should go get some sleep," I said to her. An' what I didn't say is, in your own room, 'cause you ain't gonna be caught dead here with me tomorrow mornin', when you're pretendin' like this never happened. Go back to your room, your room with Cyke, sharin' a bed without sharin' a heart. Think about me when you look at him, the same way I think about you when I look at any woman.
Jeannie nodded, and said, "Yeah, I need to get some sleep tonight, there's a lot going on tomorrow morning." Sitting up, she padded naked across the room and picked up her nightgown from where I guess I'd thrown it. Hell, I didn't even remember throwin' it, but then again, I was a little occupied at the time.
Slippin' it back on over her head, she walked towards the door.
"What, yer just leavin' me here to sleep in the wet spot, huh? That was your ultimate plan, wasn't it Jeannie," I joked.
She looked back at me and then bit her lip hard. For a second I thought she was gonna cry, and I stood up suddenly to apologize right as she turned and ran at me and we embraced, kissing.
That time we were kissin' like the world was ending, 'cause it sure felt like it was to me. She was holdin' on to me like a life preserver and I was pourin' every ounce of myself into that kiss, trying to say everythin' I wanted to say to her with one moment. We were holdin' each other so hard it hurt, so hard that I didn't know if the salt I was tastin' was from her or me.
We broke apart, panting.
Then, without saying another word, she turned an' left, shutting the door silently behind her.
I was alone in my room. An' to think, I almost went out to the bars tonight. Guess stayin' in had been the right choice after all.
I looked at the nightstand an' the clock said 6:14 am. The horizon was just beginnin' to creep through my window. I thought about how beautiful an' alive it looked, how I wished she was watchin' it with me. How maybe, someday, she would.
I lay on the bed, thinkin' about it. About her, about us. An inside me, instead a' the cold void that I face most of the time, I felt somethin' warm. It felt somethin' like hope.
For a moment, I'd had everythin' I'd ever wanted. I'd held it in my arms, I'd felt her body pressed against me, heard her callin' my name. Everythin' I'd dreamed of.
And now, all of it was gone, just more ghosts in my head.
But no, not all of it. Not all of it was gone.
Carefully, I opened the drawer next to the bed an' carefully placed the lock o' red hair inside it.
Not everything.
* * *
So people can think whatever the hell they like. People can say what they wanna say. I don't give a shit about other people, an' that's just the way I am.
An Ckye… Cyke can hate me with that superior attitude a' his, an I don't give a damn, I'm just smilin' at him behind his back. Sometimes I'm even feelin' sorry for him. 'Cause what that lock a' hair meant to me, it's something that can't ever be replaced an' it's something just between Jeannie and me.
Madelyne didn't know that when she stole it, but she stole a piece o' me that day. And now, I just got the memories. Sometimes, that's enough.
Some mornings I sit on my bed, in that same place I was when she came in, and I watch the horizon an' I think about the Phoenix comin' home. Flyin' home, wings made o' fire an' light. I think about Jeannie comin' back. I think about smellin' her again, that soft perfect scent.
Sure, it might not be fer awhile. It probably ain't gonna happen tomorrow, or next week, or even next year.
But even if it happens a thousand years from now, lock a hair or no lock a hair, I'll be here waitin' for her. Somewhere out there, I think Jeannie knows.