(All Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and publishers)

Many ships had passed in the Potterworld. Many terrible, terrible ships. But here is one terrible and awful story and ship that has been forgotten... until now.

Many years had passed since those two fateful nights. The first, when Sirius Black lost his enchanted motorcycle because he thought it better to go to a horrible prison for 12 years rather than tell someone about Peter Pettigrew, meanwhile letting him go free to do whatever traitorous rat animaguses do in their spare time. The second, when Ron Weasley and Harry Potter missed their train and decided to fly the Weasley's Ford Anglia into the Whomping Willow. After rescuing the two again from some rather hungry acromantula, the Ford Anglia lay abandoned... forgotten...until...

"My my, is that a branch through your engine or are you just happy to see me," a voice said slyly.

"Go away...oh.. I'm sorry, I didn't mean... And yes, it is a branch through my engine..."

"It's ok, you don't look like you're a car of words."

He was mesmerised. Those two wheels... the chrome finish the sleek leather seat. He hadn't felt that way in a long time.. Not since Mr. Weasley had brought home those muggle car catalogues with pictures of those just-waxed Porsches.

"Forgive me, all this time in the forest... I feel almost feral... like a beast," He drove up to a patch of moss and furiously tried to rub off the mud and dirt off of his frame.

"I like them a bit ragged," she winked, "Mine's doing life for murder or something. Never did treat me right. Fly me around all night 'til I was banged up and filthy. Ride me on those muggle streets with his buddy. But you know how it is. The next day he comes with a fresh coat of wax and some spells and you think it's true love... until you find yourself abandoned and being ridden by some half-Giant with a baby. It's not the life I expected."

"If you'll let me, I'll treat you right baby," He said, and he switched on the Barry White station on his radio.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX – Cue to part you REALLY don't want to think about – XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lots most stuff happened.

SPOILER! SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE!

Hagrid had been taken captive by Death Eaters who were standing around in the Dark Forest waiting for Harry Potter. And then he appeared. Stuff happened, Harry "died" blah, blah and now Hagrid was carrying Harry's body out of the forest, towards the castle when all of a sudden.

VROOOM! VROOOM! "Vbooom"... "It's Vroom dummy" "shut up motorhead" "no you!" "No you times a million!" "Quiet down you two or I'll put you both in park!"

The Ford Anglia and the Motorcycle and a bunch of adorable little half-cars, half-motorcycles rode out. Driving over Death Eaters and Acromantula alike. The Ford Anglia bravely rode on, driving over Nagini, going back in reverse and driving over her again and again.

"That's what you get for trying to get in my wife's engine, you tart!" He cried.

"That's my husband!" The Motorcycle yelled proudly, popped a wheelie and drove right over Voldemort.

And that, is how the Second Wizarding War really ended. And everyone rejoiced. Afterwards Mr. Weasley offered to take the family back to his shed but they refused.

"Aragog married us before he died, and we've gotten rather used to the place, and there's this guy who's all into goats who comes and changes our oil and tunes us up. I think we'll be ok."

And with that, they rode back into the forest where a colony of feral muggle vehicles still resides to this day.