A/N: I was bored and decided to combine my studies with my writing. The result is a weird conversation between Tom and Hermione :)
Ugh... Being in that train had really left her black and blue, so she really hoped it was worth it. The yellow pages said that to get there she had to walk past the red light district, and everywhere she looked she saw blue movies. Intrigued for just a moment she picked one up..
"Miss Granger, caught red handed"
"Hmm, just like Hagrid when you came out of the blue almost receiving a purple heart award for it?"
"What are you insinuating, Miss Granger?"
Some time ago she would have gone purple with rage. he had quickly learned that that was a red alert. Now she just stated calmly:
"You're really as black as you're painted"
"And you are still green here, so I'll let you off the hook for now. But be careful-"
"Next time I do something you don't like?"
"You're smart. Good, saves me the trouble of having to make you a blue print."
"On the contrary. I'd love to have everything written in black and white."
He chuckled: "Too much red tape. Wait till the next blue moon, Miss Granger"
"Maybe I'll get lucky then"
"You want to get lucky? That can be arranged"
"Ugh not like that. I get green just thinking about it. I'd prefer to get black heads on my forehead. I'd even prefer to go camping with the brownies"
He gave her a black look, but unfortunately those did not longer make her go red as a beetroot.
"I'll tell everyone you got green with envy" he smirked.
"Lying is your speciality, Mr Riddle"
"A couple of white lies can't hurt anyone"
"I' start a red-hot campaign to convince everyone they're not as innocent as you make them seem"
"Careful Hermione..."
"I'm a Gryffindor. I don't back down so easily"
"Yes, you don't show the white feather quickly... But it would be easy to turn you into Gryffindor's black sheep"
"I thought Hagrid already was"
"There can be more than one surely. Not everything is black or white miss Granger. There's a huge grey area in between"
"When it comes to you, I beg to differ"
"Then maybe you should put on rose tinted spectacles"
"Oh yes. Like all the other girls believing someone with blue blood will come sweeping in and give them a splendid white wedding without ending in the red"
"I thought you were more of a blue stockings girl"
"Oh, you know me so well, Mr. Riddle"
"Yes, I do. And that's why you should stop giving me the yellow dog treatment"
"What do you want then? Green backs?"
"I want you"
"Cute. Making me believe the moon is made of green cheese"
"If you find it so cute, why is your face as white as a sheet?"
"I'm just cold. Look my fingers are blue"
"Sure"
"Are you going to leave me alone now?"
"Not before I take what I can get"
"I'll tell you what you can get: a black eye"
"Did you have a white night, or are you always so pleasant?"
"When am I anything but?"
"Hmm.. there's a party this evening, in the garden, next to the green house. You should come"
"A Slytherin party?"
"Indeed"
"And they'll roll out the red carpet for me, surely?"
"Well no. But maybe I can find the green one"
"Funny. But I'm not sure if I am willing to mingle with the big bad wolves"
"Aw, why not, my little red riding hood?"
"I think you are seeing pink elephants"
"Elephants? No. But I do like grey hounds"
"I thought you liked snakes"
"Well yeah.. Seriously now, you have to come. Then you can see for yourself that the other house's grass is truly greener "
"As long as we have all the red I'm satisfied"
"Oh, but red and green gives such a Christmas feeling"
"So romantic, blue beard! But you'll have to use black magic before that happens"
"I just realised something . Why are we talking in colours?"
"No idea, but I think the writer is using us to learn her idioms for her English exam"
"Ah, so that's why we're having this ridiculous conversation? I feel kind of used now.."
"Yeah, like she's giving us one of those degrading blue collar jobs"
"Well, I like her. She gave me a hold on you, letting me catch you red handed"
"Like you did not have a hold on me, already"
"Oh yes, I almost forgot"
"YOU FORGOT!?"
"I'm only teasing you, Mrs. Riddle. Off course I remember our two year anniversary"
"Mrs. Riddle? Oh my God, Tom are you asking me to marry you?"
""No. I'm telling you we are engaged. The engagement party is this evening, by the way. Oh, and it's a black tie event"
"You are really a self absorbed, over confident git, you know"
"It's a good thing you love me then"
She smiled "It's a really good thing indeed"
"It's a good thing I love you too"
"That's even better"
Just as he moved in to kiss her, the director yelled cut.
"Good performance everyone, you can go change now"
Tom followed Hermione into the green room: "I didn't get my kiss yet" he pouted.
"You got it two years ago, don't you remember? We're acting our engagement out? Wasn't it your idea? All though I would call it: we're acting out the scene where he matter of factly tells me we are engaged"
"You're so annoying"
"It's a good thing you love me"
"A really good thing" he nodded and then he kissed her.
He didn't get to be Lord Voldemort, but honestly, this was way better.
A/N: Yeah, I know, I know, that made totally no sense, but try mixing 45 idioms in a story that does makes sense.. Back to my studies now.. Sigh