A Senpai's Advice
As the final preparations for the school festival were underway, Touko Nanami and Sayaka Saeki found themselves having to track down the basketball club to help deal with their poorly filled-out application. Touko did not appreciate the extra burden- while the last minute revisions to the play were more a question of what they represented than of relearning the lines, she had to admit she was annoyed to have to deal with this unnecessary work on top of her considerable responsibilities as student council president.
On their way back, the two encountered Akari Hyuga, Yuu's long-time friend and a member of the basketball team. Since neither Touko nor Sayaka knew Akari all that well, they would simply have settled for a polite greeting in passing... but they noticed she was crying.
"Hyuga-san?" Touko said. "Is something the matter?"
"Oh, you're Nanami-senpai, right?" Akari said. "Yuu's friend from the student council?"
"Yes," Touko said. "Yuu's gone home for the day, but if something's bothering you, I could message her and let her know that you'd like to talk."
"I'm fine, senpai," Akari said unconvincingly.
Touko, realizing all too well how people could easily lie and feign to be doing well, paused for a moment.
"If you're willing, we could hear you out," Touko said, and Sayaka nodded to concur.
"Please do," Akari said. "I heard you helped Yuu out with a similar problem earlier."
"That's true," Touko said. "Shall we go elsewhere?"
Akari nodded, then followed the other two girls.
After Touko introduced Akari and Sayaka to each other, the three girls sat outside the gym. Since not many people were around the gym at this time of day, the three were unlikely to be disturbed or deal with eavesdroppers. Touko and Sayaka waited a moment for Akari to calm down, and once she did, she began with a question.
"Senpai, have you ever cared for someone, only to find out that they didn't feel the same way you hoped they would?" Akari said, directing her query at both of the older girls.
Touko paused long enough for Akari to realize that her answer was "no." While Touko's love for Yuu was apparently unrequited, Touko wouldn't have it any other way. Because Yuu didn't love her, Touko was free to "become" her sister, and because Touko loved Yuu, she could be sure that there was one part of her that was truly herself.
Sayaka, however, nodded. She remembered the time when she thought she'd found her first love, only to find out that her former senpai only believed their relationship was a temporary phase that she had outgrown- Sayaka responded in kind, having realized she no longer loved the older girl. As for Touko, while Sayaka valued Touko's friendship, and believed that her feelings would likely never be returned, she had to wonder what she would do if that was no longer impossible.
"I have," Sayaka said. "The realization that someone you cherish may not feel the same way toward you can be difficult to accept, but if you care for that person, you should respect their decisions and their feelings."
"I do," Akari said. "At the start of the year, I confessed to Oogaki-senpai, but he turned me down, saying that he wanted to focus on basketball. I understood, and simply enjoyed the time I could spened with him, loving him from afar and hoping he would one day change his mind."
Akari's decision resonated with Sayaka more than she could openly admit with Touko around. Of course, while it was a bittersweet feeling, it hadn't been nearly painful enough to reduce Sayaka to tears.
"A wise decision, Hyuga-san," Sayaka said, "but if I may ask, did you come to regret it?"
Akari paused for a moment. This was a difficult answer to give, not the least of which because there was no simple yes or no answer.
"Just before you and Nanami-senpai stopped by, the captain came up to me," Akari said, "and she asked me to swap shifts with her for the festival, since mine was with Oogaki-senpai. I asked her for more details, and she said she and Oogaki-senpai had been going out... for about a year."
"That's the first I've heard of this," Touko said. "Serizawa and I are... friends in a sense, but we don't talk enough to share this sort of thing."
Touko's friendships tended to vary in nature. Yuu refused to place Touko on a pedestal, and allowed her to be herself when they were together. Sayaka, despite being aware of Touko's vulnerability, recognized how much Touko wanted to become her sister, so she allowed Touko to have her secrets. Serizawa's rivalry with Touko brought out Touko's more childish and competitive side, but while the two got along surprisingly well, they didn't have many heart-to-heart talks.
"The captain didn't tell anyone until she'd told me," Akari said, "since she didn't want to make things awkward for the team. She trusted me enough to keep this secret, and must not have known I had feelings for Oogaki-senpai, but..."
Akari hesitated, guilty about breaking the promise even if she knew Touko and Sayaka were not the type to spread a rumor.
"But he did," Touko said, "and he chose not to answer honestly. It would have been best to say that he was in a relationship, even if he couldn't say who. Simply saying 'I have a girlfriend,' or even 'I'm sorry, but I can't return your feelings,' would have been enough for most people."
"Touko's great at letting people down gently," Sayaka said. "That said, Hyuga-san, I can understand Oogaki-kun's perpsective. There are some times when the right decision is to keep your feelings to yourself."
"I know," Akari said. "In hindsight, I shouldn't have confessed in the first place. It was a mistake, and Oogaki-senpai must have felt troubled about keeping his relationship with the captain a secret."
"But you didn't know that until today," Sayaka said, "just as I didn't know that the person I cared about didn't feel the same way until after I'd known that person for some time. A part of me regrets choosing to get involved, but I know that if I had to make the choice again without knowing how things went, I would have made that choice."
"Me too, Saeki-senpai," Akari said. "Of course... I can't go back to the way things were before. The captain's my friend and I still like Oogaki-senpai, so I'm happy for them, even if I wish they'd chosen differently."
Sayaka nodded. As much as she hoped Touko would one day accept her feelings, she also feared that if she confessed and was rejected, she would lose Touko's friendship.
"As for me, though..." Akari said, "now that I've thought about it, I regret how things turned out, but I don't regret my choices. I confessed and didn't get what I wanted, but I did everything that seemed right to me, and can live with that. Thank you for talking with me, Nanami-senpai, Saeki-senpai."
Akari stood up and bowed in gratitude.
"You're welcome, Hyuga-san," Sayaka said. "What will you do now?"
"I'll probably need some time alone," Akari said, "but I'll talk with Yuu and Koyomi later. Goodbye for now, senpai."
Akari then excused herself. She'd dried her tears for now, but her heartache hadn't completely gone away, and she wondered if it ever would. Still, she could accept how things had turned out if Oogaki and Serizawa were happy, and perhaps one day, she'd have that same happiness herself.
A few minutes later, Touko and Sayaka parted ways with Akari and finished their business with the basketball team. Shortly afterward, Touko sent a message to Yuu.
Sayaka and I ran into Hyuga-san, who seemed upset, so we talked to her. She's doing a little better now, but maybe she'd be willing to talk to you?
A minute or so later, Yuu sent a response.
Got it. I'll talk to Akari fairy soon.
Having received Yuu's message, Touko turned to Sayaka.
"It looks like we've done all we can for Hyuga-san," Touko said. "I'm still a bit worried, though."
"The rest is up to her," Sayaka said. "She's on the right track, though, so I'm sure she'll come to terms with this eventually."
Touko noticed that Sayaka seemed to understand Akari surprisingly well despite only just having met her. Perhaps they had more in common than Touko thought, as Sayaka hadn't hesitated to say yes to Akari's initial question.
"By the way, Sayaka," Touko said, "you mentioned that you once knew someone who didn't feel the way about you that you hoped she would. Might it have been that girl I saw you with at the train station?"
Sayaka hesitantly nodded.
"Yes," Sayaka said. "Of course, as I said, the matter's closed. It wouldn't be honest to say that I'm not bitter about it... but I've come to terms with how I feel."
Touko chose not to pursue the matter further. Sayaka had shared all she cared to, and if Sayaka did not pry into Touko's secrets, it only seemed fair for Touko to show the same courtesy to Sayaka.
"I'm glad," Touko said. "I... can't comment on that much, but it's good that you don't regret your decision."
Touko's voice carried a hint of ambivalence. She hadn't yet had any second thoughts about emulating her sister, since she still believed it was all she had, but she had to wonder what would happen after she succeeded. She'd long assumed she would be able to love herself once that day came, but she was no longer so certain.
Sayaka also felt somewhat conflicted. While she valued her friendship with Touko, she also shared Yuu's desire for Touko to change, even if she hadn't been able to openly express that. Perhaps if Touko changed, Sayaka might be able to confess to her, but what would happen after that?
Both Touko and Sayaka soon put their worries out of their heads for the moment. They were both extremely busy with the school festival and play close at hand, so they could hardly afford to be distracted. All they could do was keep pressing on and doing what they felt to be right even if they didn't ultimately get what they wanted... just like Akari had.
Author's Notes
Thank you for reading this fic.
I decided to switch around Yuu and Doujima for Touko and Sayaka to see how the latter two might react and what sort of advice they might give Akari about her heartache. While it gives Yuu a chance to see how people react to heartbreak, and Doujima a chance to show his more serious side, it can give Touko and Sayaka a chance to see how people feel about investing a lot in something only to end up disappointed (especially Sayaka, who found out that her senpai didn't really love her).
I'm assuming that Oogaki's a second-year, since Serizawa, who's a second-year, doesn't call him "senpai."