**MAJOR SPOILERS for Slashback. (You've been warned. If you've not made it to the next to last chapter in Slashback, you shouldn't read this…yet.)
Title: In This Life
POV: Cal
Author: Obi the Kid
Rating: PG
Summary: Cal and Niko digest the big news Robin recently bestowed on them. Takes place after the events in Slashback.
Disclaimer: All hail Rob Thurman! No profit here, I'm just having fun.
"You know this doesn't change a damn thing, right? You can get reinvented..."
"Reincarnated."
"Whatever. You can have that every time you die for the next eight thousand years, but that doesn't change a damn thing about the now. I'm still going to toss my pale-skinned ass into the fire to save your Buddha-loving one. Rebirth or not, you die on me and I'm coming with you."
I got a frowny-faced slanting of the eyes on that one. Expected.
"Don't look at me like that, Nik. I mean it. The distant past doesn't change the now. What happens to you…us…in another life after this one doesn't change this," I poked a finger back and forth between us; into his chest and then my own. "What we have as brothers. Hell, you can come back as Buddha himself and me as your drooling pet mummy rat and again…doesn't matter. Me and you? This life means something more than just going to the next one. I wasn't born a monster and forced into Auphe Hell for nothing and you sure as hell didn't give up every second of your childhood to keep me safe and sane just so we can say Oh Happy Day and move on to life number ten. Hell. No. We are so finishing this. Taking out Grimm and any other monster that thinks it's more bad-ass than us. So don't start thinking too much. And oh, by the way, just because we've had other lives, doesn't mean this won't actually be our last. That crazy shit can't last forever. This could be it. So, don't think too much on this and better yet, don't get killed."
My brother circled me, arms folded, gray eyes still narrowed.
"Done?" He said simply.
"Yes, I think so." I ducked just in time to avoid the excruciating flick to the ear, only to back right into a head slap.
"Dumbass."
Hmm. Nik's one word response sounded far too much like something that came from my limited vocabulary than from his Oxford English Dictionary one. I probably looked confused, so he reiterated the term.
"Yes. You. Dumbass. You've officially earned that title with your little rant." A blurred hand whacked me again.
"Damn it, Nik!"
"Perhaps if I continue, I will drill some sense into your thick skull."
Not that thick if it could hurt so much after his version of little brother torture.
"What? I was just making sure that you understood us. This." Finger thing again, only without the chest poking. I might be a dumbass, but I wasn't stupid. Not to mention I enjoyed my fingers of the non-broken variety.
Niko continued. "If I didn't love you, little brother, I would almost certainly choke you to death right now. Why would Robin's news change anything? So, I was right about Buddhism. Don't be surprised. I am right quite often as you well know. We've been this and that, but we don't remember it. Robin does and will continue to, but us? We as we are now won't be conscious of it. We live that life, we move on. Although how I've put up with you for thousands of years is beyond what even Buddha can explain."
"Don't worry, I'm sure instead of threatening me with dirty tube socks you had the opportunity to threaten me with camel shit or something. Nice, Nik."
"My point being, you are right."
Okay, wasn't expecting that one. I was rarely right…about anything.
"I am?"
"Yes. About us. Past, future, whatever…it doesn't change our now. What we have as brothers is what you said. Nothing changes that. Or will ever change it. Buddhism says that with each life you become a better person, right?"
They didn't come much better than Niko. I don't think even Buddha could have thought up my big brother.
"So you say. I might be getting the short end of the stick on that one though. I mean, if I am this now? What the hell was I before?"
"I'm sure Robin will be more than happy to give you every last excruciating detail of your lives, mixed in with his many ah, exploits along the way."
Damn it, why? Just why? "Why, Nik? Why must you go there?"
"Because it makes your face turn a charming shade of green. However, beyond the entertainment of your chameleon-like skin color as I was saying, we become better people as lives go on. Even you, little brother."
Eh, I didn't think so. "Am I really a good person, Nik? I mean, think about it. Seriously. I have mommy issues, monster issues, codependence issues, I enjoy bashing the heads of wolves into bar counters, hell, I shot the balls off one of them. I'm a sugar addict. A chemically-polluted food addict. What else? Language. I love me some four letter words. I'm lazy as hell. You've seen my room. Oh and I ate Bambi's mom. Slept with a wolf that wanted to eat my face…and enjoyed it. I sleep with guns, knives and an occasional sword. I own a friggin' arsenal of illegal weaponry. I've set off a mini nuke. I could go on, but I ask you…do these things a good person make?"
Not that it mattered. I was who I was and I'd come to terms with me. I could deal. But still…
"No, a good person that does not make. Not those things. However, you failed to mention how you survived the worst childhood one could imagine; that you consistently risk your life to save innocent people; you haven't killed anyone you actually consider a friend…yet. Most important, you've kept me alive and have given me a reason to stay alive. Perhaps that last bit doesn't make you a good person as much as a good brother. You are a good brother Cal. So don't go screwing it up."
"So, despite all we know now, you'd still feel like shit if I died?"
Oh yeah, I deserved that incoming smack to the head. I didn't even try and duck it. Still hurt though. Rubbing my head, I finally said, "You know, it does explain why Robin didn't run away like his ass was on fire when he first met us. We've always wondered what was wrong in his brain that he stuck around. Now we know. Oh and I was right about him when I was eleven. He was a pervert. He just hadn't shown his true horny…"
"Do not go there, Cal, or I will do more than smack your head. I might remove it."
And he could too. He wouldn't, but he could. Tough love was what Niko was all about after all. Of course, knowing his smarts and abilities, he'd probably figure out a way to sew the damn thing back onto my neck without getting his hands soiled. Anal-retentive, little- brother-repair was also what Niko was all about. Gotta love the ninja bastard. And I did. More than life itself. This life at least. Probably the others as well. I wondered if I had been as lucky in my former lives as I was in this one – at least in this aspect. I was certain that I personally sucked in all others, but when it came to Nik…
"Anyway, if we could stop with the pain inflicting for a while…" I pleaded.
"Mind you, referring to your moronic statements that began this whole scene, I have no plans to voluntarily plunge myself into my death if it can be avoided and I expect the same of you, little brother. As for death itself…I know you'd come with me. Always have, even before the first time we spoke of it."
That had been an odd conversation. It hadn't come long after the whole thing with Junior, the psycho 'our neighbor is a serial killer' killer. Neither of us spoke of what had happened, but I had asked Nik about death at some point after Sophia tracked us down a few weeks later. That if he died, I'd want to go with him. I needed to go with him. There just wasn't any other option. He'd protested of course, but he knew better. He knew I wouldn't survive without him. I'd live, perhaps, but there'd be no surviving. Not without my big brother.
Same held true today.
Same would hold true until he and I finished this life and went on our merry ways to wherever the hell we went next…if anywhere. I wasn't sure how many lives Robin had us living in the past, but I had a feeling this one had been the toughest. And it wasn't getting any easier.
"Good. I'm glad we're on the same page. So, I keep your ass alive and you keep my ass alive and all will be well. Deal?"
Niko nodded slowly. "Agreed."
I bent down to tie my shoes and pulled out a few leg stretches. I knew a run was in order. You don't find out news like what Robin had told us without having to take time to digest it all. And how did Niko digest unexpected news? He ran. And ran. And ran. I knew we'd go more than ten miles on this one. I'd be on my deathbed after the fact, but even I couldn't bitch about a run this time. It wasn't often that I actually used my brain on our runs, at least not in a therapeutic way like Nik did, but at times, it did help.
May as well shock my brother with this one…"Okay, Nik. I'm ready to run."
He stared at me, eyes narrowed as he studied me. "You are what?"
"I am ready to run. How many today? Ten? Twenty? Marathon?"
"I was thinking about fifteen actually, although I fully expected that I would have to drag you from the house kicking and screaming bloody murder."
I tossed an arm around my brother's shoulders. "Not this time, Cyrano. I am a willing participant. I can't guarantee that I'll last fifteen miles without dying of a massive coronary, but you only live once, right? Or not."
Niko's warm hand landed on my forehead, then traveled to my jaw and neck.
"No fever, Nik. I feel fine. Good actually. Don't take it for granted, it won't last long, and if we don't go now, I can't promise my lazy ass won't be sucked into the vortex that is the couch in about two minutes, but I do admit to needing a run today. So…"
With a shrug and quick scowling of his lips, he accepted this moment's version of me.
"What little brother needs, I can deliver. Let's go."
My good mood ended ten miles in, the distance when my body is used to falling flat on its face, my chest heaving, heart about to explode and legs gone to an odd rubbery-numbness. Of course, Nik saw it coming and easily dropped behind me to push me along. Another half a mile and for once in his life, he took pity on me and slowed to a walk. Bastard had barely broken a sweat while I was drenched in the stuff. It's a good thing we had gray eyes in common, because in all other ways known to man, I was so very unlike my brother.
We walked the last few miles home in silence. Just me and my brother. I don't know exactly how it had been in other lives, but in this one, it always came back to us. In the end, it was what most mattered. In reality, when you delved deep, as deep as one could go, it was all that mattered. Whatever came after and beyond this, it would be whatever it would be. This was our now. Me and Nik. And before we were done with this life, we had some supernatural ass-kicking to do.
The End