Hobbes awoke in the middle of a hot summer day. The birds were singing, the bees were
collecting their pollen, a short trail of ants walked one by one into their tiny hole. Judging by
the sun, it was a short while before noon. He was under the big tree in the front, it was nowhere
close to lunch time, and he was awake. This could mean only one thing.
"I repeat! All members of G.R.O.S.S. are to report to the clubhouse immediately! Failure to
do so could result in loss of rank, or expulsion from the club!"
Hobbes grudgingly got up from his favorite napping place, donned his official honorary
President and First Tiger hat, and climbed the rope ladder to G.R.O.S.S. top-secret headquarters.
"This emergency meeting of the Get Rid of Slimy girlS club will come to order!
Dictator-For-Life Calvin Presiding!" began their noble and honored leader. "Due to the urgency of
this meeting, we will skip the club song and the reading of the minutes, and continue straight on to
the business at hand."
"What?!" President Hobbes replied, obviously rather disgruntled. "We can't skip the song!
It's symbolic of all the club stands for, and must be sung to improve club morale!"
"Yes, mister president, but because of the enormosity of the situation at hand, it is
clearly written in the club charter that the singing of the song will be postponed until the end of
the meeting. Any further outbursts will be met with demerits in the club log book.
"Now then, G.R.O.S.S. members, it seems that we are in a time of great peril. As I'm sure
some of you are aware, there are new neighbors moving into the neighborhood this afternoon, and one
of them is an alleged girl, age seven! Not only that, but reports from top scout Calvin suggest that
she is a close friend of the club's most hated adversary, Susie Dirkins!
"But do not dispair, my people, for though this is a most feared tragedy, a ray of hope
still shines! If all goes according to plan, we should be able to launch an attack by noon
tomorrow. The first order of business is to select one volenteer to accompany our top scout Calvin
in spying on this new family as they move in.
Hobbes immediately answered the call of duty and raised his hand in response to the request.
At this rate, they'd never sing the song.
collecting their pollen, a short trail of ants walked one by one into their tiny hole. Judging by
the sun, it was a short while before noon. He was under the big tree in the front, it was nowhere
close to lunch time, and he was awake. This could mean only one thing.
"I repeat! All members of G.R.O.S.S. are to report to the clubhouse immediately! Failure to
do so could result in loss of rank, or expulsion from the club!"
Hobbes grudgingly got up from his favorite napping place, donned his official honorary
President and First Tiger hat, and climbed the rope ladder to G.R.O.S.S. top-secret headquarters.
"This emergency meeting of the Get Rid of Slimy girlS club will come to order!
Dictator-For-Life Calvin Presiding!" began their noble and honored leader. "Due to the urgency of
this meeting, we will skip the club song and the reading of the minutes, and continue straight on to
the business at hand."
"What?!" President Hobbes replied, obviously rather disgruntled. "We can't skip the song!
It's symbolic of all the club stands for, and must be sung to improve club morale!"
"Yes, mister president, but because of the enormosity of the situation at hand, it is
clearly written in the club charter that the singing of the song will be postponed until the end of
the meeting. Any further outbursts will be met with demerits in the club log book.
"Now then, G.R.O.S.S. members, it seems that we are in a time of great peril. As I'm sure
some of you are aware, there are new neighbors moving into the neighborhood this afternoon, and one
of them is an alleged girl, age seven! Not only that, but reports from top scout Calvin suggest that
she is a close friend of the club's most hated adversary, Susie Dirkins!
"But do not dispair, my people, for though this is a most feared tragedy, a ray of hope
still shines! If all goes according to plan, we should be able to launch an attack by noon
tomorrow. The first order of business is to select one volenteer to accompany our top scout Calvin
in spying on this new family as they move in.
Hobbes immediately answered the call of duty and raised his hand in response to the request.
At this rate, they'd never sing the song.