A/N: Just so you know, I am planning on continuing 'Turk Olympics', just taking a little break from it is all. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story, be sure to review!

This day couldn't get any worse... Rude thought as he brushed a pile of Mashed Potato's of his shoulder, he growled in anger and walked with a quick pace over to the nearest person, Rude grabbed the mans shoulder and spun him around, his other hand rammed into the mans nose, there was a brutal cracking sound and the man fell to the floor, Rude smiled slightly, taking his frustrations out on live targets was a hell of alot more relaxing than crushing a tennis ball, he looked down at his handy work, the man looked a little familiar... Then it hit him...

Damn it, I just had to think it didn't I? God damn Heidegger... Why the hell is he in the Cafeteria! Heidegger started to move slowly, his eyes opened up and he suddenly clutched his now broken nose, blood was gushing from it.

"Who the hell hit me! I'll have there genitals on a plate for this!" The Head of the Peacekeeping department shouted, everybody stopped the food fight they were waging on each other and looked at him, Rude's right eye began to twitch, as it always did when he felt nervous, he really didn't want to loose his... Private parts... So he quickly grabbed the nearest person he could, -who happened to be a Blind man with a cane,- and presented the man to Heidegger.

"Sir, this is the person that attacked you."

"Good work Turk, so you people are good for something after all eh?" Rude stayed quite, Heidegger for some reason, always had to try and intimidate people lower than himself, including SOLDIERS and Turks, nobody was actually scared of the man, but more scared by the fact that he could fire them.

"Sir..." He grumbled, Heidegger grabbed the blind man with his right hand and held his nose with the left hand, he walked out of the mess hall and the fight started up again. Rude shook his head, That was close... He thought to himself as he grabbed a tray and lined up, -despite his name, Rude was actually a polite man, at least to the public, those close enough to him knew the real reason behind his name- he wouldn't use his Turk privileges to push ahead of people, or his tall, muscular body to do that either, despite the fact that he was near the top of the food chain of employees, or that he could bench press a table of people with ease.

When he finally got to the woman behind the counter, he smiled faintly.

"Ah, Rude, what will you be having today?"

"The usual please, Dora." He replied, he had known Dora since his first days as a Turk, she was the head chef in the ShinRa building, she was here everyday, always polite, always calm and she cooked the nicest Chicken Curry this side of Junon. Dora walked into the back and returned with a silver packet, she handed it over the counter to Rude, he took a sniff of it then smiled. "Thanks Dora."

"No problem Rude, see you tomorrow." He nodded to the aging chef, then walked to the counter, he placed a few gil on the table and walked back to the elevator, he rode it up to the Sixty Ninth floor, also known as the 'High Rollers' floor, the Executives, excluding Hojo, where all based on this floor, along with the Vice President and the Turks, with the President on the next floor, it worked out for everyone, because it meant that the Turks could protect them without traveling though the various floors.

On the way to the Lounge he passed Palmer's office, the door was open and the fat Head of the Space Division was in a heated discussion over a new budget, he slammed the phone down as Rude stood watching.

"Everything ok sir?"

"Yes Turk, be on your way..." Palmer replied as he started rustling paperwork around, Rude smirked as he walked away, Palmer was making himself look busy, not actually working, if you looked closely you could see that the phone was unplugged and that the Paperwork was actually just paper. Empty paper. Idiot. He wondered why they even kept Palmer around, seeing as how the space program had been cut, there was no reason for him to be here.

Rude carried on, he pushed open a door and stepped into the Turks lounge, Tseng was bashing his head on his desk while Reno and Elena were arguing over something, he only caught a couple of words, one of them being 'Princess' and the other being 'Larry'. He remembered that Reno, for reasons unknown, called his Electro Mag Rod, 'Larry'. Rude didn't care what they were arguing about now, he had an appointment with a Chicken Curry that couldn't wait so he walked over to his desk, slumped down in his chair and pulled a fork from his desk, he lifted the utensil up and was about to begin when he heard heavy breathing behind him, he sighed and looked over his shoulder, Elena was stood behind him with a disgusted look on her face.

"What's that disgusting looking thing you have Rude? It looks like-"

"It's food... My food... My favorite food... Now let me eat in peace Elena." Rude interjected, not wanting to know what she was going to say. Elena had a unique gift that enabled her to put him of anything, he wouldn't let her do that to his Curry.

"Sheesh! I was only going to say that it looked like-"

"I don't want to know!"

"Fine! Enjoy your-"

"LA LA LA LA LA LA! I'm not listening!"

"Uh! Your worse than Reno!" Elena shouted before storming of, Reno walked over to him, and stuck his thumbs up.

"Nice work man, I've been trying to do that all morning."

"Reno, will you just go and bother Tseng, I'm trying to eat..."

"Fine, but your buying the Drinks later." Reno walked over to Tseng and started saying something to him, Rude sighed happily, then lifted his fork to begin eating, he placed it into the dark orange substance and lifted it to his mouth, only to be interrupted by a blood curling scream. Scarlet burst into the room and rushed over to Rude.

"You!"

"What is it Scarlet?"

"You made my little sister cry!"

"Who?"

"Elena!"

"Elena! She's not your sister!"

"Not literally, but we're both apart of the Blond Nation of Extremely Evil People! We BNEEP have to look out for each other!"

"What the hell is that?"

"It's a club for Blond evil people, led by Vice President Rufus, we blonds will not be taken for fools! You hairists will pay for your cruel ways toward us!"

"Huh?"

"All those 'a Blond walks into a bar' jokes you non-blonds are always telling each other! You will pay!"

"But I didn't do anything!"

"You made Elena cry!"

"So?"

"You have to say sorry to her!"

"I'll do it once I've finished my curry..."

"No! Now!" With that Scarlet grabbed hold of Rude's pierced ear and dragged him away from his precious Curry. For an office worker, she could bring a Turk to his knees with that grip, maybe I should ask Tseng to consider putting it into a training manual... Rude thought as he was dragged along by the painful grip, made more hurtful by the many earring's that lined his left ear. Scarlet dragged him into her office, where a whimpering Elena was sat with her head in hands behind Scarlet' desk.

"Say it Rude!"

"Say what?"

"That your sorry!"

"About what?"

Scarlet looked over to Elena, who had finally looked up.

"About ignoring me!"

"I was trying to eat! Would you like me to stand watch over you while you eat!"

"Well... No... But... You didn't have to be a jerk about it!"

Rude sighed, it was ten past eleven in the morning, all he wanted to do was go to his desk, eat his Curry, do some paperwork, kidnap a few people, torture somebody, see his shrink, get a drink with Reno and then go home, like he did everyday. But so far it didn't look like any of that would be happening today.

"I. Am. Sorry. Now can I go?" He said, then cursed as Scarlet grabbed his ear again.

"Say it like you mean it!" She shouted at him, he sighed again.

"Oh Princess Elena! I am sorry for not wanting to be put of my food by your disgusting descriptions, I'm the sorriest person ever! Please forgive me oh great Princess Elena!" He said with a sarcastic tone, Princess was something Reno and Rude called Elena, the reason being was that her Parents were loaded, that was one of the reasons why she managed to get into the Turks and they all knew it.

"Really?"

"Yes..." Rude sighed yet again, no wonder there were blond jokes, they were so stupid.

"Ok! You can go now Rudey-poo!" Elena replied with a happy tone, Rude didn't need to be told twice, he left the office rather quickly and went back to the Turks lounge, when he got there his jaw hit the floor, Vice President Rufus was sat at his desk eating his Curry, Rude stormed over to him, if there's one thing you should never touch it's someone else's food, especially somebody who could break your hand just by shaking it.

"Mmmm, that was a delicious Curry Turk, may I ask who made it?" Rufus said with a smug grin, Rude's eye began to twitch, he was seriously considering ripping Rufus' jaw off, had it not have been for Reno and Tseng jumping on him, as he jumped at Rufus, he would have.

"Rude man! Calm down!" Reno shouted.

"Rude, calm down, thats an order." Tseng said cooly. Rude having no choice, did. Rufus had run off.

And the moral of the story?

Don't leave your food out in the open, or a blond Vice President will steal it.

A/N: Well waddaya think? Good, bad? Should I make this a multi-chapter, or keep it as a one-shot? Don't forget to click the review button! It's lonely down there!