Hey, I saw pick up line comebacks on someone's profile and thought about what would happen if Eddie and Bells were humans that met in bar when they were the designated drivers for their buds. Lol. Here you go. It's a one-shot.

Bella POV

How do I always get stuck being the designated driver? Oh, right because Alice is the master at getting what she wants. I still sober Alice came up to me with a trail of guys following her. They were of course ignored by Ally.

"Belly! Wanna have contest?" She asked. Okay, maybe not sober. Belly? I shrugged. She pulled my arm and led me to the bathroom.

"Well Bells, You are going to see how long you can get a guy to keep using pickup lines on you, and you have to have a comeback/insult for every one," She told me. I shrugged again.

"Are you playing too, or are you just trying to get a guy for me?"

"Of course I'm playing, that's why it's a contest. I can still drive legally and I won't have anything else to drink. Loser is the designated driver," She declared. I nodded, happy to have a chance at actually drinking at a bar. We both ran out watching our cell phone clocks. Finally, I got a guy to come up and talk to me.

"Hey sweetheart, what's your sign?" He asked cheekily. I grinned at him. Too easy. Every girl knows a comeback for this one.

"Do Not Enter," I replied. He looked taken aback, but pressed on. Just over a minute. He thought for a moment.

"You know you want me," He told me. I smiled and nodded.

"You're so right. I want you ... to leave."

"Come on! I know how to please a woman," He said looking me up and down. I smiled dreamily at him.

"Then please leave me alone."

"I want to give myself to you."

"Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

"That's it. I'm done, you're not worth this," He growled, leaving. I smiled and waved at him. I felt another presence next to me. I turned to see a gorgeous bronze haired boy, looking at me.

"He seems mad. Is he you're boyfriend?" The boy asked. I shook my head no. The boy smiled and put his elbow on the table.

"Well, his loss. Oh, I'm Edward," He introduced himself. I nodded and looked around the room for Alice. She was with a tall, blonde haired boy. She held up ten fingers. Ten minutes? Wow. Desperate or he really likes her.

"My name's Bella," I told him, looking at Alice and the boy. He sighed. I turned to look at him with a stunned expression.

Bella? Do you have a boyfriend? Is that why you're looking around?" He asked. He seemed almost mad. I shook my head. He relaxed.

"Well, then my dear, let the games begin."

"What?"

"Nothing," he responded. I sighed and shook my head. Why are the weird ones always the cutest?

"So, Haven't I seen you someplace before?"

"Yeah, that's why I don't go there any more," I told him. He wasn't even trying. Did he like me or was it a game? Like mine ...

"I'd go to the end of the world for you," He declared.

"But would you stay there?"

"Your body is temple."

"Sorry, no services today."

"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a female impersonator." He laughed at this. I smiled along with him. He was a good-natured guy. If only I didn't have this stupid contest.

"Your place or mine?"

"Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

"I wanna take you home with me," He told me.

"Will two people fit under a rock?"

"Can I buy you a drink?"

"I'd rather just have the money."

"How did you get so beautiful?" He asked. That one was sorta sweet.

"I must have been given your share." He smiled at that and laughed.

"Don't be shy. Ask me out. I'll say yes," He said. Is he even trying? I really hope not, or he's super clueless.

"Okay. Get out."

"What would you say if I asked you to marry me?" Seriously? Yes, but he doesn't need to know that.

"Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time."

"Where have you been all my life?" Waiting for you.

"Where I'll always be. In your wildest dreams. Now I'm leaving," I told him. I couldn't bear to hurt him any more, or be played if this was a sick game.

"Wait one last one. How was heaven when you left it? F I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd be walking through my garden forever," He said hurriedly. They were sweet. A little corny, but oh so sweet. I leaned over and kissed him. I glanced at Alice. She was having a very deep make-out session with her boy toy. She noticed me and held up 10 fingers the two more. I looked at my clock. Yes! Thirteen minutes!

"Do you have to leave?" Edward asked. I shook my head and held up ten fingers then three more.

"Thirteen? What's that all about?" He asked. I looked at him. My shoulders slumped. I couldn't lie to him.

"My friend and I had a bet going that who ever had a guy say pick up lines to her the longest did not have to be the designated driver. I won. She started making out with blondie after twelve minutes," I explained. He was quiet. His eyes flashed.

"So was I just a game, something you could play around with so you could DRINK?" He exclaimed. I shook my head. Couldn't he see I liked him?

"No I like you. I don't kiss just anyone. The drinking is just a bonus to meeting an awesome guy like you. I think that's why the pixie set this up," I muttered the last part. He caught it, looking up in surprise.

"Pixie? With black hair?"

"Short, yeah. Her name's Alice. She'd right over there." He looked and recognition passed over his face.

"That's the girl who told me to come over here and use pick up lines on you for however long I could take it. She told me that the longer I could hold out, the better my reward would be."

"That PIXIE!" I exclaimed. Alice loved hooking her friends up. She had amazing powers to see a good relationship. I shook my head at her and leaned over to my knight for another kiss.

So how did you like it? It was a boredom fighter. I'll work on my other stories when I get over writer's block and get the music to my song done. Which probably won't happen for a bit, see my guitarist is grounded for talking back to his mom's bf. Sighs.

Jessi