A Story by -Jeisa-

The Meaning of Love

Chapter One: The Dream

The dream. It graces my mind every second of the day since the night it arrived. That dream. The one that will never actually happen, no matter how many times I dream it, think of it, live it in my head over and over again. Now every night when I go to bed I'll want it to come back, but every morning it will make me want to cry. Because, as I said before, it will probably never happen.

My name is Lily Evans. I have red hair (which I wish I didn't have), green eyes (which make me look like a Christmas freak) and a family who hasn't existed since I was thirteen. I mean, I have a sister, Petunia. She has the perfect body and blonde hair and blue eyes. But every since I was eleven and I found out I was a wizard, she's hated me, she's called me a freak. My parents were so proud of my new found magic and that made her hate me even more. I haven't talked to her since our parents died. For the past six years at this wonderful school called Hogwarts, the most annoying boy in the entire school pestered me over and over to be his girlfriend. That boy just happened to be James Potter.

James Potter has been the 'King of the School' since our second year, when he made the Gryffindor quidditch team and suddenly became popular. But he's been asking me out since our first. He has this annoying habit of running his hands constantly through his already messy hair and he has glasses that shield his eyes. I don't think I even know the true color of them.

Potter has the three most annoying friends that match his annoying personality. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew have all been attached by the hip since first year, when they formed their infamous group, The Marauders.

So, as I was saying before, Potter has been asking me out since our first year, and then last year, our sixth, we had this huge fight and the next day he was dating a Ravenclaw named Rebecca Gilmore. She has dark brown hair, and blue eyes, and looks an awful lot like my best friend Riley Vaughn because of that. But unlike Riley, Rebecca is short and skinny, and in my opinion, not very pretty. Rebecca is also not James' cousin-slash-best-childhood-friend-because-they-lived-right-next-door-to-each-other.

So I haven't talked to him since that fight, and then, one week before our first day of seventh year, I find out that he's Head Boy (I'm Head Girl!) and I'll have to talk to him a lot. A few days later I have this extremely sexual dream that included him and me doing some very embarrassing and cheek reddening things. I guess my imagination is taking a stand because I would never dream of that on my own. I mean, I hate James Potter. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate him. Right? I think I do…Shit. I have no idea what I think any more. Damn you conscious that rises to the surface when I dream and complicates my feelings for an extremely good-looking, charmi- I mean, horribly ugly, taken and demeaning chauvinistic pig.

I don't even know why I had that damn dream. It's not like dreams become reality or anything. Not to mention that currently James Potter and I hate each others guts. The only reason I even put up with him is because he and Riley are really good friends, and even then, I talk to Remus and (gag-me) Sirius more than him. I don't think I've actually talked to him since that fight, but it's not all my fault. Just because I start to lik- I mean continue to hate him doesn't mean that I have to talk to him. Only now…he's Head Boy, and I'm Head Girl…I'm not entirely sure how this is going to turn out. I think it'll work, at least, I hope it will.

Well this year ought to be interesting.

LINE

Lily walked quickly through the barrier onto platform 9 ¾, trying desperately to keep up with her also quick moving best friend.

"Riley, slow down!" she called to the dark head that was bobbing her way through the crowd towards the train.

"C'mon Lily!" Riley called back, "I'm sorry you have short legs or something, but you can keep up."

"No I can't!" Lily said, as they stood in line to board the train. "I'm not freaking five-foot-ten with legs up to my chin like some people." She looked pointedly at her friend.

"Be serious Lily," her friend said as she stepped onto the train, "you're still five seven and you're still a twig and you're still the smartest in the class and you're still Head Girl and you're sti-"

"Okay, enough of the 'let's make Lily feel as self-conscious as possible' comments. I already feel self-conscious enough because now everyone will be looking at me because I'm Head Girl, and they'll be looking to me for advice."

"Lily you've been giving people advice since our third year…which is weird, because you should've been focusing on healing yourself because your parents had just died."

"Please don't remind me."

Riley laughed and stepped into a compartment. Lily followed behind, lost in her thoughts.

"Riles!" the people in the compartment exclaimed as soon as she had stepped in the door.

"Great." Lily mumbled to herself. "Not only do I have to worry about being Head Girl with an idiotic Head Boy, but my best friend chooses to sit with said idiot for the entire ride to school."

"What was that Lilyflower?" Sirius asked as she took a seat. "It was so loud in here I almost couldn't here you complain about James." He teased her. Lily stuck out her tongue at him.

"Oh real mature Lily." Remus said sarcastically, "That is definitely the way the Head Girl of the entire school should act on her first day of work."

"Yea well you should just be happy I don't revoke your Prefect status Remus." Lily teased back.

Remus rolled his eyes and laughed. "Still the same Lily." He said, shaking his head. "Congratulations by the way."

Lily laughed along with him. "Thanks." She settled back into her chair.

"So Lily," Sirius started, "excited to be sharing a private quarters with our dear Prongsie here?"

Lily jolted upright. "What?" she exclaimed, "Nobody said anything about 'sharing a private quarters'!"

"Yea Lily," Riley said, "all the Heads of the school have shared a private quarters."

"Since when?"

"Since…well, forever."

"Shit."

"Don't worry Lily," Remus said, "James isn't that bad of a roommate."

"Yea, try horrible." Sirius added.

"I second that thought." Peter said.

"Gee thanks," James interjected, "nice to know how loved I am in this compartment."

"Don't worry Potter," Lily started, "I'm sure if you just stay away from me, then we'll get along."

"Hard to do when you're in every single one of my classes."

"You're in Advanced Transfiguration?"

"Yep."

"Advanced Potions?"

"Yep."

"Advanced Herbology?"

"Yep."

"Advanced-"

"Yes."

"You didn't even let me finish."

"Well I already know for a fact that even though it's going to kill me to have a class with such a perfect-little-stuck-up-bitch, I have every single class with you."

Lily's jaw dropped. The entire compartment went quiet.

"Ouch." Sirius said, breaking the silence.

"Second that ouch." Remus said.

"Third that." Peter added.

"James that was a little harsh." Riley said.

Lily stood up, eyes watering, and dashed out of the compartment.

"I- I didn't mean…I didn't mean to make her cry." James stuttered, as he himself was shocked at what he had said.

"Well you did." Riley replied.

"I never thought that Lily would ever let anything like that get to her." He said.

"You're just making excuses now. Obviously you wouldn't have said it if you didn't actually mean it, or at least think it. Lily actually has feelings. So take you're attitude and whatever pent up feelings of lost love and 'hatred' that you have for Lily and shove it up your ass. Go find your slutty little girlfriend that you're obviously dating in hopes that either you'll get over Lily or she'll be jealous enough to throw herself at you, which will never happen by the way, and forget that any of this ever happened." Riley turned to the other guys. "Excuse me, I have to go find my best friend before the Slytherins do."

"I thought I was your best friend." Sirius stated, feigning hurt.

"Like I could ever be friends with you." With that said, Riley ran out of the compartment to find Lily.

"You have to admit, that was pretty harsh." Remus said.

"I didn't think that she'd cry because of it." James replied.

"What did you think then?" Sirius asked, looking genuinely concerned.

"I thought that she'd have some quick comeback about how I was a self-righteous asshole or something. I didn't think that she'd cry." James said, a blank look still on his face.

"Maybe you should say sorry." Peter suggested.

"Yea, yea I should."

"But don't go now, wait until the Prefect's meeting that you guys are supposed to run together, civilly I might add, and then tell her. She'll be there early; she always was, even when she was just a Prefect." Remus suggested.

"Yea that sounds like a good plan. When is that by the way?" James asked.

"In about forty five minutes."

"Good that'll give me some time to really think about what I'll say."

"Sounds like a good idea."

They all went silent. "Hey guys," James started cautiously looking down at his hands in his lap, they all looked at him, "do you really think that Rebecca is a slut?"

They were all silent. James looked up at them. "What?" he asked.

"James, Rebecca has slept with every guy on the Ravenclaw quidditch team." Sirius told his best friend.

"I think that says enough." Remus added.

"Great. Not only did I make Lily Evans cry today, but I also find out my girlfriend is a slut. Nice." James said.

"Dude, you should've known that months ago." Remus told him.

"Haven't you guys had sex?" Sirius inquired. James nodded. "And you haven't asked her how many guys she's slept with before you?" He shook his head. "Man you really need to learn some things about women."

"And I can get that from you right?" James asked sarcastically.

"Yea." Sirius answered, "I know that if you want to have sex with a girl, you don't need to date them. You can just fuck 'em and leave 'em."

"God you're such a man whore." James told his friend. They all laughed, except Sirius, who looked hurt.

James showed up to the Prefect's compartment fifteen minutes early, hoping to find Lily there. The room was empty. He took a seat in one of the chairs at the head of the table and put his feet on the table. He stared at the ceiling.

Ten minutes to the meeting. No Lily.

Nine minutes to the meeting. No Lily.

Eight minutes to the meeting. Where could she be?

Seven minutes to the meeting. Sure hope she's alright. James thought.

Six minutes to the meeting.

Five minutes to the meeting. That's when the rest of the Prefect's started to file in, James stopped counting down in his head.

"Any luck?" Remus asked when he walked in with three minutes until the meeting started.

James gestured around, when Remus realized that Lily wasn't there yet he shook his head. "Damn. Usually that girl is so excited for these things." He said as he took a seat next to Madeline Emersonn, the seventh year Ravenclaw prefect.

One minute to the meeting.

Forty five seconds until James would have to start without Lily. Thirty seconds. Then, with twenty-nine seconds left until the meeting officially started Lily walked in the door. Without even looking at James she walked to the other chair at the head of the table and started to organize her papers quickly.

James stepped close to her and said quietly enough that nobody else would hear. "Lily, I'm so-"

She cut him off by holding up her hand. "I don't want to hear it James. Just…just forget about it." Lily turned to the rest of the Prefects and started the meeting.