The Crimson Saint's Fate
AU: The Holy Grail War has come to a finish with Sieg transforming into the majestic dragon Fafnir carrying the Greater Grail to the Reverse Side of the World while Ruler enters eternity as a pure soul wandering beyond time and fate's grasp. Ruler begins her infinite journey traveling through the Throne of Heroes in hopes of reuniting with Sieg and having a chance at life together.
A/N: The story picks up during Shirou Tokisada Amakusa and Gilles de Rais's plea for Ruler to join forces with them and give up being an opposing force. Shirou Tokisada Amakusa has just walked out of the Greater Grail with a new transformation and is holding strong to his misguided idea on saving salvation forever.
(100% of the credit and ownership goes to the creators of Fate/Apocyphya. I do NOT own any of it!)
Chapter 1: Prologue
Deep Within the Hanging Gardens of Babylon
Gilles de Rais bent down to one knee and softly placed his right hand on her left shoulder. Ruler looked up at him in agony and confusion, slowly meeting his soft gaze as she felt trickles of sweat begin to come down her face. He looked down at her with a small smile and his walnut-ivory eyes began to turn dark.
"Atonement? For my sins…," asked Ruler shakenly. Her amethyst-colored eyes jittered from side to side. She felt her world begin to crumble down, piece by piece. What if Gilles de Rais and what he was saying was indeed correct and she was the misinformed individual? What if her ideals that she had whole-heartedly lived her life by were indeed for nothing at all? This salvation just might make amends for the misguided concept of order she had put first all her life. Her resolve was quickly lessening and she felt her strength dissipate.
"That's right. Offer up the life of that homunculus. His sacrifice is what this world requires," Gilles de Rais boldly declared with the utmost passion. His dark eyes becoming as large as saucers with his pupils bulging out and dark grey circles appearing just under his pupils. His twisted grin covered his face from side to side, making his face turn slightly wider upon each word uttered with his bold request.
"Not true! That is not true at all! If he dies, it's something that I shall shoulder the burden of on my own. I won't allow the world to bear it!" Ruler angrily cried out and she held firm to her stance standing up. She pushed Gilles de Rais roughly backwards, whipping her right arm in front of her to ensure he kept his distance from her. She wouldn't let Sieg die because of her selfish actions and this world's faults. She wouldn't let even her dear comrade Gilles de Rais utter such nonsense about Sieg. Gilles de Rais's gaze returned to normal, looking at her astonished and hurt.
"Jeanne d'Arc. I have no desire to fight you anymore. Now that I control The Greater Grail and have activated the Third Magic, I no longer consider you my enemy. Let us work together. With you around, there will be no need to worry about further causalities," Shirou Tokisada Amakusa stated as he walked down the Greater Gail's steps back toward the floor. He kept his distance from Ruler yet he ensured he met her gaze with every word he stated. He needed her to know his path was the one of justice.
"This is the world that we have been waiting for. No one gets hurt or violated or even murdered in this paradise. We all thought that such a world could only exist in our dreams, but it has a potential to be within our reach," pleaded Gilles de Rais. He wanted her to come to terms with their dreams. Why was she being so stubborn? Was it that boy? Was his precious and holy Jeanne swayed because of the likes of some teenage boy? It couldn't be so, he would not allow her to lower herself to such pitiful depths.
"A paradise where pain and death don't exist...," repeated Ruler hesitantly. She was beginning to lower her guard once again. Yes, this could be the world Gilles de Rais and her had worked tirelessly for in the name of the Lord. But… why wouldn't her heart accept such a sweet and perfect declaration? She didn't understand.
"Yes, precisely that," Gilles de Rais happily replied. He clapped his hands together and looked up at Jeanne. She was starting to come to her senses and he was finally getting through to her. He was on the verge of making her see that this is exactly what they needed. He saw Ruler look down, torn between two clear decisions, deciding ultimately the direction for which mankind would soon go.
Although, in a world like that I am almost certain he would… Ruler thought to herself in silence. She wanted him beside her right this moment. Who was she trying to deceive? What she truly desired was for Sieg to stand by her side every day for the rest of their lives. Sieg, please forgive me for I fear I am not strong enough to stand this much longer…
"Ruler! Are you okay?" Sieg shouted from above as he made his way through a door into the room they were currently occupying. He quickly jumped down a couple feet, desperately pleading his feet to run faster toward the woman his heart held so close. He had finally found her after running through endless mazes and hallways. He found her at last and he would protect her. He ran forward to her, ensuring she never left his sight.
"Wait, Sieg?" Ruler replied shocked. Ruler's dark thoughts ended abruptly, her heart missed a beat, and thoughts of the present filled her body with warmth. She looked over to see if the voice she had just heard was really that belonging to Sieg's. Her eyes met his running form as she saw him coming closer and closer.
"It's that boy," Gilles de Rais stated in disbelief, taking a step backwards. No! How could this boy have come right when he was so close to swaying his beloved Jeanne?
Why did I do this? Why did I wish for him to be by my side? Ruler couldn't take her eyes off Sieg. She saw Sieg running as fast as he possibly could to stand beside her. It filled her heart with the greatest joy and yet it filled her mind with sadness. Why did she bring him in harm's way? He doesn't deserve this.
"I'm here to help you now," Sieg proclaimed standing protectively in front of Ruler. His left hand guarded Ruler behind him and his right hand pointed the sword towards the men standing in front of him. He would protect her, at the cost of his own life. He wouldn't let any of these men continue to hurt her any longer. She must understand that he will stand beside her until the finish and aftermath of this Holy Grail War.
"Sieg, your hand... But that means…. I thought I told you not to use up all of your command spells," Ruler stated looking down at the darkened appearance of his hand. His entire hand with the exception of his fingers were a dark shade of purple and black. It scared her far more than it should. She had told him repeatedly not to use all his command spells. Didn't he know that she meant it? Didn't he even begin to understand that she wanted his safety above any other? Her eyes looked forward to him, wanting desperately for him to look at her when she spoke.
"There was no choice but for me to use all of Siegfried's powers in order to defeat Lancer of Red," Sieg replied stating it as if it were obvious. He wanted to look back to ensure Ruler he was indeed okay for the time-being, but he forced himself to keep looking forward at the three men in front of him: Shakespeare, Gilles de Rais and Shirou Tokisada Amakusa. No, despite his desperate desire to look deep into her eyes and forget they were in such a desolate place. All he could do now was to prove to her he was okay by providing her protection. He was determined to become her strength, as she had become his strength over the course of the last few months together.
"Then why bother coming here?" Ruler desperately asked. She wanted answers. Could he hold the same feelings for her as she did him? No, that couldn't possibly be it. Her heart began to pound louder, making her ears ring. She wanted answers as to why he was being so foolish.
"During the fight while I braced myself for death, all I could think of was how I wanted to see you. That's what brought me here," Sieg replied confidently. He turned his head slightly so one eye could meet hers. Her amethyst eyes that he had grown to admire so dearly, looked back to him in confusion. He wanted to calm her worrying and for her to entrust herself to him. Over their time of knowing one another, Ruler always stood out from their rest. Her beauty and strength was purely unique, none matching her grace or strong resolve. Ruler's eyes softened at his confession, her cheeks turning a slight shade redder.
"I am sorry. As I thought I should not have brought you here after all. Because of me, you became a victim of this Holy Grail War. I know that I promised you, your freedom but I should have left you behind even if doing so caused you to hate me," Ruler looked down and forced herself to remain stern. She heard Sieg sigh in disbelief, looking at her while refusing to believe the words she was now saying. She couldn't look up at him, regardless of how badly she wanted to. She needed him to stay safe and if that meant staying away from her, he must do it.
"Ruler…," Sieg gazed upon Ruler. His deep, dark red of polished-perfect ruby eyes wouldn't reveal what he was thinking. He wouldn't let her see that she was misinformed on the matter she now spoke on. As much as he saw that Ruler wanted to believe what she was saying and maybe she really did believe it but he knew that even if she had put the distance between them, they were destined to always reconnect once again. He could never hate her or think poorly of her. To do so, he wouldn't be honest with himself. He and her had become one entity without either of them ever realizing it.
"Please Sieg, stay away from me," Ruler softly demanded. She was determined to preserve his freedom and ensure his safety. She stepped forward so she now stood in front of Sieg and facing Shirou Tokisada Amakusa head on. She would protect Sieg from this mad-man, even if doing so cost her everything.
"So, will you comply? With this pact, there will be no need to shed more blood," Shirou Tokisada Amakusa asked, knowing he would not receive the answer he desired. He was growing tired of seeing Ruler and Sieg look back and forth amongst each other like love-struck teenagers, their insolence bothered him greatly. No matter how hard they tried, they could not win against him. Surely, they couldn't be that foolish, could they?
"If I oppose you, will you kill me?" Ruler demanded. She took another step forward, daring to meet the blank yet determined stare of Shirou. She already knew the answer, but she wanted to hear the words out-loud. She needed another reason that she was to go forward in defying this man. She knew she had tried her hardest till this point in attempting to keep the peace, but some people were blinded, deafened by their selfish perspectives. Lord, you know my heart, continue to be here with me even now.
"Yes. Anyone who gets in the way of humanities salvation, must be disposed of. Neither you nor that homunculus are an exception to that," Shirou replied blankly. Staring straight ahead, meeting both the gaze of Sieg and Ruler. They both looked at him with fierce determination in their eyes, dedicated to protecting the other and all of mankind.
"Why in God's name do you even continue to debate this? If we do not have salvation, then we will all continue suffering as evil beings. Believe what you will, but innate goodness does not exist, not even in you!" Gilles de Rais demanded loudly and flailed his arms upward. Why wouldn't Jeanne come to her senses, even now? Was it this boy that created such unease in her? He wouldn't stand for this much longer.
"That's not true at all. I've already seen so much in my short life time, even systemic evil. There are things no one can solve, no matter how hard they try. Like preventing good from becoming evil. It's sadly the truth. But I know for a fact that most humans actually strive to be good. To make a mistake while on that path isn't a sin, it's just regrettable. I'm not very strong and I admit that I make mistakes. However, all I want is to be someone that the people who went out of their way to save me can be proud of. So please don't say innate goodness doesn't exist because I've seen it first-hand!" Sieg passionately stated with confidence.
Gilles de Rais and Ruler looked back at him during his statement. Sieg saw flashbacks from his memories: Ruler being led in chains to her death as the people chanted, Ruler being bound down by the wooden stake with chains ensuring she wouldn't escape and the flames consuming her body whole, countless dead homunculus deemed unworthy that were easily discarded in a pile of bodies, Rider's former master with blood falling down her scalp as she raised her hand to utter an evil command spell, Caster's ultimate golem Adam close to turning the world into ashes, Jack the Ripper's twisted universe of broken children dying over and over again, being viewed as worthless and discarded from the rest of the world. Despite all these terrible events and wanting to give up on himself and even humanity, it was the old gentleman Ruler had him stay with shortly, his fellow homunculus, Rider of Black, Saber of Black, Archer of Black, and most importantly Ruler who had saved him from falling into despair throughout it all. He refused to let them down.
Ruler began to cry at Sieg's words, touching her heart beyond comprehension. Her heart flooded with sadness at the cruel events life threw at them but also proud of Sieg for finding the courage to keep moving forward and finding his very own mark on the world. Gilles de Rais teeth gritted in annoyance and anger, his face scrunching at each word stated by Sieg. Gilles de Rais looked over at Ruler, worried over her sudden outburst of tears. He had rarely, if ever, seen this side of her.
"Shirou Tokisada Amakusa, I refuse to acknowledge the salvation you seek. No one should acknowledge it. Because your actions are based on a lack of confidence in humanity. All humans fight against their inner evil. It is an endless battle but they continue on, no matter how many times they may lose. It is our job as the dead, as servants to lend our power to those that are now alive. Anything beyond that is off-limits. The humans' agony concerning evil, their sadness, and their fight against anger. Instead of aiding them, your absurd idea of salvation does nothing but diminish their hardships. So, as I said I cannot acknowledge your salvation," Ruler stated with courage. She stood tall, believing every word she had just uttered. She would take on the burden of all humanity and defeat this evil for mankind once and for all. Sieg had given her the courage to do just that. She would no longer be fooled or convinced otherwise.
"I've asked myself for over 60 years is this truly salvation or not? But now I know this is salvation and no one can tell me otherwise which is why I'll have to kill you for opposing me. An end to all creation. And if it is at all possible, I would like this death to be the very last one in the world," Shirou Tokisada Amakusa boldly declared. He reached and pulled out his sword, never breaking eye contact with Ruler. She would meet her end and he was without regrets. He didn't feel anger or sorrow towards this woman, he felt nothing at all. He drew his omnipotent power from the Greater Grail and prepared for his inevitable battle with Ruler.
Ruler handed over and entrusted her flag to Gilles de Rais. She knew she could trust him with such an important task. He bowed down to his knees and wept uncontrollably, knowing Jeanne knew her destiny moving forward. She smiled sweetly down to Gilles de Rais, making sure she voiced how much he had meant to her during their lifetime together long ago. He had always been a true friend and a loyal supporter, never doubting her. They faced many battles and hardships beside one another and he was there through it all. She wanted to ensure he knew just how important he was to her even after all these years apart. He returned her sentiments entirely, holding the flag close to his body. Ruler then looked back at Sieg.
"Thank you. I do not know if I would have awakened, had it not been for you. I was drowning within a sweet dream. I almost fell victim to it but then you came and saved me. So please Sieg, stay by my side until the end," Ruler spoke directly to Sieg. She faced herself so she stood in front of him, a smile appearing across her face. Her gentle eyes looked up to him, purpose filled within them. She knew what she must do moving forward, and she would do exactly that. She reached for his hand and held it within hers.
"Of course. That's exactly why I came here," Sieg looked down at her. Knowing full well she had made up her mind. That's why this was of the utmost importance to him, he must show her his unwavering loyalty and admiration for her. He was sure at this point, it was no longer just admiration, but something much stronger he felt for her now. He believed she would have victory. He believed with all his might that she would be the Savior that would truly save the world.
"I appreciate it. That alone is more than enough," Ruler looked back up to him. Her smile becoming slightly larger and she knew she had made the right decision. Her feelings had not let her astray, she needed him moving forward. He was the one who came across and made her stronger not only as a woman but as a heroic spirit called forth into this world. He had helped her see her purpose as a Ruler spirit and for that, she held no regrets moving forward.
She dropped his hand and called forth her sword into her left hand. She felt it materialize into her hand, and knew full well that this second noble phantasm of hers "La Pucelle" would be her final mark of defiance against the corruptness of Shirou Tokisada Amakusa, her life paying the ultimate price for its divine power. Thus, she pulled her sword from its sheath, and began the prayer bringing it into existence. She bent both her knees down, letting herself fall to the ground and shut her eyes to focus at the task at hand as she knew Shirou Tokisada Amakusa would soon make his next move. Her blood poured down the sword as her prayer began. Gilles de Rais began protecting her with all his strength using her flag as a shield to protect her until he disappeared from this world altogether and entered the next.
"The Heaven's tell of God's glory; the skies proclaim his handy work. Speech is poured forth during the day, acknowledged during the night. A fire has ignited within my heart, and continuously burns to remind me. This is where I meet my end. My destiny's now run its course. My life's dream has reached its conclusion. Utilizing the last thing I have at my disposal, I fight to protect the path He must walk. Lord, accept my sacrifice," Ruler proudly called out her prayer. Bright-yellow circles of light erupting all around her and glowed around herself. She felt herself become one with her prayer and God's presence overwhelmed her, allowing La Pucelle to aide her in the final battle.
A large-consuming tornado of fire broke out and she soon found Sieg and herself within the fire, almost within a different universe momentarily, knowing full well the transformation would soon be complete. She savored her last few moments with Sieg, and memorized his every feature. I'm not afraid to die. This will be enough.
Sieg, bewitched by Ruler's prayer, found himself holding onto every word she said. He couldn't take his eyes off her. Then, he saw the powerful red and orange flames surround him and Ruler. Shortly later, he found himself inside painless blue flames. Ruler was a few feet ahead of him. He was speechless. Sieg knew at that very moment, he would never feel this way for another person the way he felt towards Ruler. He was scared just moments before, but now seeing her look at him with such peacefulness, grace defined her features and her smile that she reserved specially for him looked back at him softly. All he could do was stare at her with his mouth open, in awe of her. He believed in her and knew she would prevail. He wished he could pause this moment forever, reserving it for just him and her.
Truthfully, I was afraid. Not of dying though, it was the separation that scared me. I have never had such feelings before, but it is not something I mind. For the future of mankind, for your future, to protect such things, I am willing to risk my life as many times as needed. Ruler held her right hand to her chest, shutting her eyes for a few seconds. She opened her eyes again, looking back lovingly at Sieg, blushing a soft shade of magenta. She shut her eyes once again, and her neck downwards turned a brilliant shade of yellow-gold, marking the near completion of her transformation. This, this is all I could have ever hoped for. She let her transformation finish and opened her eyes back to the present, and believed victory was within her reach.
"Hope awaits us all beyond despair!" Ruler announced emerging from the brilliant and magnificent flames unscathed. She was now wearing a blindingly white outfit and armor. She appeared powerful, memorizing, and looked as fierce as a lion when she gazed upon Shirou Tokisada Amakusa ready for his next move. She almost appeared as one of God's angels that had come down from Heaven just to appear in this fight. Shirou Tokisada Amakusa refused to lose to this woman.
"La Pucelle!" Ruler yelled letting her sword's silver flower erupt into a devastating fire, threatening to burn down all who dare oppose her, pointing it toward Shirou Tokisada Amakusa's path. He refused to bow down to her, fighting with all his might. He used every trick he could and countered her attack with just as much force and determination in his eyes. He would not let himself lose to her. Not here, not now, not ever. His body ached with the power emitting out of himself. He had all humanity to protect.
Ruler screamed out as she forced her body to endure his powerful comeback. She couldn't lose to him, she refused. She had too many people relying on her. She would win. She fought back once again with just as much strength and power as Shirou. However, she felt her attack equal out to his. She would protect Sieg and would give her life to win. She urged the flames onward, giving them every last bit of her mana. Still, Shirou countered her with everything he had. She could no longer see an obvious winner, as she felt her body go numb. Forgive me God, for I know that I have given it everything I have. She couldn't hear anything except the sound of an Earth-shattering explosion break out around her and her vision went pitch black. The world around them turned white and no one knew what would occur next. BOOM!
Snow and flowers started to fall from the sky due to the force of Shirou and Ruler's attack. Sieg saw Ruler beginning to collapse so he rushed to her side, catching her just before she fell. He felt his eyes burn with the flood of tears that threatened to escape. He refused to believe Ruler had lost. No, she was strong and she could survive this. We can survive anything if we are together. Please, Ruler, wake up. Don't leave me to this world alone. I don't want to continue living if you are not beside me. Ruler's eyes began opening, meeting the eyes of the man she had grown to love, yes, love deeply and without regrets. Deep, dark red of polished-perfect ruby eyes met amethyst, as tears filled both their eyes.
"Ruler…," Sieg called out to her, his voice breaking from emotion, despair filling his heart. His left hand cradled her head, his right hand held up her left shoulder. He held her delicately, petrified that any sudden movements may be too much for her in this current state. No, she can't die like this, not this way. He looked down at her, his tears began flowing freely from his eyes, hitting Ruler's cheeks and bringing her back to consciousness.
"Sieg, is that you?" Ruler whispered weakly. She felt her body firmly being held, but could no longer feel mana flowing through her body anymore. She knew her moments were limited and she had used up the remainder of her energy. Shock flooded her body, knowing she would soon leave the world of the living, and enter eternity after death enveloped her. Her vision slowly returned, and she wanted more than anything to hold Sieg within her arms, to run her hand through his soft-long brown hair. She wanted to ensure that the man she loved with all her mind, body and heart would live a life of happiness without her for now. No matter what happened after her death, she would find him again. She would always find this kind-man again.
"Ruler!" Sieg cried out to her. His chest felt like a thousand-bombs had just exploded, he felt as if a thousand knives from every direction had hit his body all at once. This can't be happening. Please, please, please… Ruler, don't die. Not here, not like this. I want forever beside you, I want eternity with you next to me. Sieg believed strongly for a miracle. This woman had stolen his heart, meaning and purpose without ever intending to. Stay with me here, Ruler… There must be a way. He couldn't stop the tears from falling, overwhelming him. He had never felt such strong emotions before this very moment.
Ruler's eyes went blank for just a few seconds, her vision no longer showing her images of the present and Sieg, but a vision in the far-off future that would soon become a reality. This had only happened once before when she was still a farm girl and had received the command of God to fight. Now this vision showed her a new path.
A dragon's gaze meets her own as he opens his eyes, gentle but purposeful. This kind dragon with the stunning teal-green eyes, begins pumping his vast wings and starts flying off into the bright sky, holding the Greater Grail within his hands to another world, to the sanctuary of beasts that lay beyond man's reach. This unknown dragon, she was sure she would meet him again. Although not in this lifetime of man, but in her life granted to her beyond this world. His identify although unknown to many others, revealed himself to her. Sieg, oh Sieg, I'll find you. I'll find you no matter how long it may take or the long journey that lay ahead of me, we are destined to meet again. Her eyes focused back on the present and her vision ended. More tears began pouring from her eyes, she felt her heart ache painfully.
"Don't die! You can't die now!" Sieg begged her, holding her even closer. His fingers combed back her blonde hair and he let the feeling of her consume him. He was determined to memorize her every feature: Her pure amethyst-colored eyes, her wondrous beauty that scarcely felt even the slightest bit real, her soft-pale skin, and the special way she said his name. He loved her, he was certain of it. He had seen her eyes turn grey as they looked off into the distance, but then returned to normal. It happened so fast, he was unsure if he had even seen it at all.
"Forgive me Sieg," Ruler gently requested. She knew she was unable to escape death's unforgiving hands, but she did know she would find a way back to him. If not in this lifetime, it would be the next. Her last vision, had given her hope and a brand-new meaning. She was certain the dragon was him. If only she had the time to tell him what she saw, but sadly her time was now limited. She gave it to God at that moment. She was unsure if there was anything after she closed her eyes forever to this world. No, this vision was the real deal, she was sure of it. She took her last few moments to memorize Sieg's every feature, knowing she would hold it close to her every single moment she would face without him in the time to come.
"Ruler!" cried Sieg. He pulled her body up even closer to him, her face just a few centimeters from his face. His tears were far too painful. He looked deep in her tear-stained eyes. He wanted to comfort her, wipe away her tears and promise her it would all be okay. He was selfish, that he was sure because he wanted every moment with her, from here till the end of his life. He wasn't ready to be away from her quite yet. He wasn't ready for the aftermath following her death. She couldn't leave him, not like this.
"It is alright. No matter how long it may take to accomplish, I will make sure that we will meet again someday," Ruler looked up at Sieg with the utmost care and fierce determination. She would find a world where they were destined to be reunited. In her vision she had seen Sieg transform into the majestic dragon Fafnir, carrying the Greater Grail to the Reverse Side of the World. If this vision was truly to come to pass, she would find him. She would find that world beyond man's reach then awaken him from his deep slumber. She was determined to travel beyond time and space's grasps to be by his side once again. She had experienced death before, death had become a long-awaited friend. She looked up at Sieg one last time, her resolve becoming unbreakable. She gave in to the fatigue and began closing her eyes. Be strong for me my beloved Sieg, I will find you, I will always find you. I'll…
"Okay. I'll be waiting," Sieg whispered down at Ruler with a small smile. He forced himself to be strong for her in her last moments. Nothing could possibly lessen the anguish he felt from Ruler temporarily leaving his side but he had to be strong for her. He promised himself he would hold her promise close to his heart for all eternity. He believed her dying words upon her last breath with everything he had. Slowly but surely, he felt his anger consume him as he felt the life escape from Ruler and enter a world unknown to him. Ruler… your life will not have been in vain. I will avenge you and I will save man-kind. I promise. He watched her close her eyes for the very last time.
Always be right beside you, forever. Ruler felt herself leave Laeticia's body, knowing it was the end of her physical-form for the time being. She greeted death without reserve and entered eternity with a new resolve. Her vision turned white, unsure of how long her next journey would take or when she would find her way back to Sieg again, but she would, she was sure she would. Sieg… wait for me.