Once A Marine… Always A Marine A/N: Crack!Death Fic.
Ducky quickly walked out of the back room when Gibbs entered Autopsy. Gibbs had assumed that that was the ME's office but he'd never been invited in. "Got a woman in there, Duck?" Gibbs asked.
"A woman? No… Not a woman," Ducky answered. He adjusted the gray ribbon that was loosely pinned on his chest pocket.
The gray ribbon grabbed Gibbs' attention. He was familiar with different colored ribbons but not the gray ones. He had seen a couple of agents wearing them… Even DiNozzo but hadn't asked about them until now. "What's that for?" Gibbs queried as he pointed to Ducky's ribbon.
"This, Jethro?" Ducky asked. "Do you know what this month is?" He asked. Gibbs fought the urge to answer 'May' "You know there's a lot of things one finds out by accident. This being one of them… Did you know May is Zombie Awareness Month?" Ducky asked. The lack of a gray ribbon already answered that question.
Gibbs sighed. It seemed that Ducky was suffering from the beginnings of Alzheimers. "You're sounding crazy, Duck," Gibbs told him what he thought.
"You know… I think young Mister Palmer thought the exact same thing. He didn't say anything out of politeness I'd say. Wearing gray is to raise awareness for the possibility of a Zombie Apocalypse. For some I've been a member of ZRS… The Zombie Research Society," Ducky saw the look Gibbs was giving him. "I do understand your skepticism. That is why I must show you this," Ducky said to Gibbs.
"Zombies are nothing new," Ducky said as he rested his hand on the door that was to lead into the back room. "In fact during the middle of the Vietnam War the US forcers were experimenting with re-animation of dead soldiers in order to limit the amount of casualties. The members of the ZRS believe that was the reason the safety shot… 'tap to the head' was introduced. Since according to Haitian culture, the only way to kill a Zombie was a direct blow to the head. This had to be hard enough to," Ducky was stopped by Gibbs' cough.
Gibbs was now certain Ducky was off the rails or had spent too much time around DiNozzo. "Been listening to DiNozzo too much, Duck?" Gibbs asked. It sounded like one of DiNozzo's horror movies.
"No… Actually, Jethro… I was the one who educated Anthony on the subject. Even he and Mister Palmer thought what you're thinking… Until I showed them this," Ducky opened the door and turned on the light. Immediately there was a moaning as well as the sound of chains being rattled.
Gibbs jumped back slightly as an act of caution. Especially since the thing chained to the wall was missing an eye. And part of its mouth was missing so all the bottom teeth were being shown in all their bloody glory.
"What the hell have you done, Duck?" Gibbs asked. The thing's jacket was full of bullet holes.
"Surely you don't think I did this. But I was shocked when this Zombie attacked me halfway through its own autopsy," there was almost a tone of pride in his voice. "Say hello to Alpha, Jethro. The first recorded capture of an Animated Corpse in the west," Ducky was proud of that. Jethro kept silent. He was completely stunned.
"Surely you as a former Marine can understand the importance of studying a potential enemy," Ducky stated. The Zombie stood to attention when Ducky said that.
"This is different," Gibbs said.
"Did you see how he acted when I mentioned Marine. Maybe he was a Marine when he was alive. Give him a salute… See what he does," Ducky insisted.
Gibbs shook his head. That was absurd. "I'm not going to salute that… that thing," he firmly stood his ground.
"I'm seeing how he acts. It's for Zombie Neuro-psychological Research. So maybe we can actually train them to assist rather destroy us," Ducky said. He pulled an assortment of different shaped blocks and a board with different holes out of the drawer. He placed them near the Zombie.
Gibbs and Ducky watched on as the Zombie studied the blocks carefully then the holes. It took its time but eventually slotted them correctly. "So?" Gibbs wasn't sure if he should be impressed or not. Kelly could do that from a very young age. He had seen that done countless times.
"That's progress," Ducky sighed. "When I first began… He used to throw the stuff at me. After a while he got frustrated and then threw the board at me," Ducky explained. "Eventually he began to learn the basic steps of problem solving… He is learning. One day he might be able to learn how to act around people," Ducky said.
"What the hell are you doing?" Gibbs snapped as Ducky placed a smith and Wesson handgun and a clip next to the Zombie.
"Jethro!" Now Ducky snapped as Gibbs made a grab for the gun. This irritated the Zombie and it almost grabbed a hold of Gibbs. "The magazine is empty," Ducky assured Gibbs.
The Zombie snapped the clip into place and pulled the chamber back and gave a salute before putting the handgun down.
"You're insane, Duck… This is insane. Something must be done about this," Gibbs' tone was threatening. It was a major security risk to say the least. "I'm putting an end to this," Gibbs didn't see Ducky place another clip in front of the Zombie. For a moment the Zombie looked confused. But then replaced clips.
"I can't let you destroy the progress I made with him," Ducky said.
Gibbs turned around. He was surprised to see the Zombie with the gun raised. "You had me going for a sec, Duck," Gibbs only heard the bullet and found him self on the floor unable to breathe and in horrible pain. His breathing was erratic.
"Looks like you're going to eat well," Ducky said as he lifted Gibbs onto the Autopsy table.
A/N: I mainly wrote this because of the crack!death fic but mainly because May is Zombie Awareness Month