Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I just play there when I dream

Jacob POV

Jacob gazed out over the cliffs, battling the urge to howl dolefully into the too still night. He had never thought that loneliness would have such a physical effect on his entire existence. In the 5 years since he had imprinted upon baby Nessie, he had wrapped himself in a wall of …Work? Duty? Solitude?

He had become the ultimate Alpha, the leader of his pack, the protector of his people but above all, a lone wolf. No-one knew what had happened the night Nessie was born. He had barely allowed himself to believe it. He had sworn, that night, that he would never acknowledge the forbidden relationship. He had vowed to the Great Spirit that nothing would ever come of the connection. He had promised himself that, when he wearied of his solitary existence, he would die alone in battle. Five years later, having seen his brothers and tribe mates imprint, fall in love, begin and sustain families, the pain had become an almost physical manifestation that plagued his very real inner beast. His life had become a private parody of a horror movie to which only he had borne witness.

Why had Fate, the Great Spirit, whatever all-knowing cruel being controlled the lives of mere mortals and monsters, played such a cruel trick on him? How could he have been allowed to give his heart to the mother, yet bind himself irreversibly to the child? She had been such a beautiful child when he had last seen her. She had her father's eyes … and her mother's stubborn little nose and chin. Jacob remembered desperately wanting to enfold her in his arms and protect her with every power he possessed. The feeling had terrified him and disgusted him. She was a damned bloodsucker, a leech, a parasite! How could such an abomination be his mate? Regardless of the fact that she was an innocent she was still an abomination. His hands clenched as he allowed himself to remember her as she had been all those years ago. She had been an adventurous little scamp. It had terrified him when he thought of all the scrapes and troubles she could get herself into if he wasn't around to help her, to protect her.

In one of his few moments of insanity he had actually done some research into vampire matings. It had made him physically ill. The things they did, all involving blood-letting, had made him want to rip something apart… after he tore his own eyes out with his bare, unsheathed claws. How Bella could have allowed herself to become one of them … created another abomination … or whatever the hell her child was … Nessie.

Her very birth had changed him. He couldn't let his brothers know what had happened. How could he let them know his shame? The imprinting had to remain a secret. There was no other alternative. It was at that moment he had begun to shield his thoughts. It was ridiculously easy, easier than he had ever imagined it could be. It was just one of the many perks of being the strongest Alpha ever born. His feelings were his alone, and he was better equipped than anyone to handle the strains of shouldering the thoughts and emotions of his tribe and his pack.

With a groan he sank to his knees, threw his head back and released a gut-wrenching howl that seemed to tear free of his very soul. For those few seconds at least, the pain was alleviated. For those blissful few seconds he had a physical release for the agony of his soul.

He howled for all the years of loneliness he had endured and the many years to come. He howled for the lost love that had never really been his. The family he would never have and the happiness that would be denied because of the leeches. It had been a gift from the Sprits that Bella and Edward had been living in Italy for the past 5 years. He could not imagine what his life would have been like if he had been forced to encounter the Cullens on a daily basis and know that shewas within phasing distance at any given moment.

Nessie POV

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen! You answer me this minute! I know you hear me calling you!"

Nessie cringed when she heard her mother's strident yell. Vampires never raised their voices. They could be cold and seemingly emotionless if you didn't get under their skins and Nessie loved nothing more than getting under their skins. She could boast of the fact that she had caused every single one of her beloved vampire clan to lose their cool. She grinned happily.

Hovering above the tree outside of her window she stretched out as though lying on her bed and stared at the clear blue sky. There was that restless feeling again. Like there was something that she had to do, something important. That vital somethingwas justout of her desperate grasp.

Of course, Nessie always felt like she didn't belong in the close knit little family. She was one of the Cullens, but so different. She looked human, acted human, but she certainly never felthuman, especially when she was drinking animal blood. She wasn't human and she never would be. But then, why would she want to be? There were so many things that she could do. She could read the thoughts of everyone, human and vampire, she met. As a child, she had cried before her father taught her how to block the loud barrage of thoughts and emotions that would bombard her. Now , she carefully selected the thoughts she wanted to hear, or blocked them out completely.

Unlike other vampires, but exactly like her mother, Bella, she could block others from her mind, and protect herself against the gifts of other vampires. She could force her way into the minds of others and make them do things. That was one talent that was strictly forbidden though. About three years ago she had suddenly developed the ability to change form and become any animal she desired. It was an event that had terrified her parents when she became a puppy and refused to turn back. They had begged, pleaded, threatened. She shook her head at the memory. It had seemed so strange to her that they didn't understand how much fun it was playing at being a puppy. To this day she could communicate with some animals. Who would believe it? She was Nessie Cullen, animal whisperer in the extreme.

Sometimes it scared her how different she was. How powerful. Volturi spies were always hanging around, much to the discomfort of her family, but she didn't care about the Volturi. What was the need? She knew that the Boogeymen of the Vampire world were scared shitless of her. They knew, even better than her parents, just how powerful she had the potential to become. Of course, she didn't advertise her gifts to them. She may not fear the bastards, but she was no fool. Sometimes she scared herself because she knew with terrifying certainty that there was more to come.

It was only about a year ago that she had developed a longing … but she didn't know what she wanted. She just knew that there was an emptiness inside her that just seemed to grow. She had tried to satisfy it by hunting, extreme sports, studying. Nothing had taken the hunger away, in fact, it was growing. Finally she had decided to visit her Grandpa Charlie in Forks. She loved Grandpa Charlie and his stories, but her parents had forbidden her to travel without them or one of her aunts or uncles. It wasn't "safe" they said. As though there was someone out there who could actually do her harm.

She was so tired of listening to the many, many reasons she couldn't have her own way. It was impossible for the family to return to Forks, at least not in this generation. Hence the current cold relations in the Cullen house. Nobody understood. She had to go. She was goingto go. Her parents would just have to accept it. Somehow.

"You may have the looks and the mind of a sixteen year old, but it seems that in some ways you are still five years old Renesmee." Edward's quiet voice whispered around her.

Nessie jerked at the sound of her father's voice right beside her. When she opened her eyes, his grin made her chuckle. Poor Daddy, stuck between the two loves of his life, mate and daughter.

"Daddy…I don't want to talk to Mom now. I'm really not in the mood to listen to her rantings…"

Edward frowned as he hovered beside Renesmee. "I'm not in the mood to listen to you disrespect your mother, child."

"Disrespect? Daddy, she's being a …"

"Respect…" he growled softly.

"Unreasonable. She's being unreasonable." Nessie amended. "I'm going to Forks, Daddy. In two weeks. I already have my tickets, I already talked to Grandpa…end of discussion."

Edward sighed. There wasn't a day that he didn't curse the cruel irony of an immortal having had only five years to rear a child to adulthood. It never escaped him. As difficult as it was for him, it was a thousand times worse for Bella. She seemed unable to accept the fact that their daughter was a young adult, and just as stubborn as her mother.

"Renesmee, we just worry about you, the Volturi…"

"The Volturi? Daddy, the Volturi mean nothing to me. They certainly have no bearing on the decisions I make about my life. This is something I have to do. You know no one can stop me. The only person who thinks she can is Mom."

"She worries about you, little one." Edward whispered, tweaking her nose. "You'll always be our little girl, our own child. Can't we protect you? Can't we keep you safe for just a little longer?"

"Oh Daddy!" Renesmee whispered sadly. "I'm not a child. Can't you see that? Can't you make her see that?" she pleaded. She knew she was putting her father in a difficult position. But she also knew that she was going to Forks with or without her parents' blessing. It was as though her very soul was being pulled toward Forks. She couldn't deny the call.

Edward sighed and tweaked her nose again. "I will talk to your mother, Nessie, but I make no promises. All I can do is try. I just need you to try to look at this through her eyes. Meet me halfway on this one child. "

…...

Edward found Bella pacing their daughter's room. She was so furious, Edward was surprised at the fact that plumes of smoke weren't billowing out of her ears. She was so busy pacing up and down grumbling silently about grounding Renesmee for the rest of her life she didn't even notice his presence.

He sat on the bed and simply watched her with a smile until she turned to glare angrily at him. "What?"

"No, Bella, we can't ground her for the next hundred years. You know we have to let her go." He said quietly.

"Edward!" Bella gasped in astonishment.

He held up his hand. "Listen to me. She's old enough …"

"She's five!"

"She was born five years ago. But she the mind and maturity of a 16 year old atleast!We have to let her go or we could lose her, Bella."

"But … but …she'll be all alone! None of us can go there because we can't be seen! Who's going to protect her?" Bella leaned against the wall then slid slowly to the ground.

In a split second Edward was beside Bella, sinking down on the carpet and putting his arm around her shoulder. "We have to let her go … and KNOW that she will come back to us. Renesmee can more than take care of herself, and she has Charlie."

Bella laughed at that. "Yeah. How could I forget Grandpa? How is my father even going to explain that?"

Edward shrugged. "Your father will think of something. Don't let her leave with hard feelings between the two of you. It's not fair to her."

Bella nodded and, if she could cry, her face would be tearstained. "I was so scared of becoming a mother. I was afraid I wouldn't know what to do. I might ruin her, break her. Now it's … it seems that it's all over. But it just started Edward! It just started!"

"Ma….it'll never be over." Nessie said quietly from the door. With a sniffle she ran to her mother and knelt in front of her. "I don't want to hurt you but, this is something I have to do. Do you understand?"

Bella's arms slowly wrapped around her daughter and she hugged her as though she would never let her go. After a minute she pulled back slightly so she could look Renesmee in the eye. "No Reneesme. I don't understand. I don't understand at all. But I … I'm going to let you go. If you feel you need to go."

With an excited squeal, Renesmee hugged Bella and then jumped to her feet to twirl around the room happily. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You'll see! You guys won't regret this!"

Bella sighed as she quickly got to her feet and allowed Edward to wrap his arms around her. "I hope not. I really hope not."