THE HOGWARTS CHOO-CHOO

THE HOGWARTS CHOO-CHOO

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Sung to the tune of "Chattanooga Choo-Choo," with apologies to Mack Gordon. Adapted by Rosmerta. Mack Gordon owns the original lyrics, Harry Warren the tune, and J.K. Rowling the Hogwarts Express, Platform 9 ¾, and all the Weasleys.

The Scene: a bewildered Muggle-born first-year student -- let's call him Reginald -- enters King's Cross Station on September 1. Looking around for "Platform 9 ¾," he spots a confident-looking redheaded boy with an owl in a cage. Figuring only a wizard would have an owl, he approaches Bill Weasley, now in his second year.

Reginald sings: "Pardon me boy,

Where is the train that goes to Hogwarts?"

Weasley family backup chorus chants: "yeah yeah"

Bill Weasley responds tunefully: "Platform Nine and Three-fourths."

Reginald: "Yes, I've heard that, of course --

But where do I go

To find the train that goes to Hogwarts?

I've paid my fare,

I have just minutes to spare!"

Bill: "You've reached King's Cross station, and this is when

You look up for the signs on platforms Nine and Ten,

You run right between there,

But don't make a scene there -- You're gonna disappear right into thin air!"

Weasley Family Chorus: "When you hear the whistle blowing eight to the bar

Then you know the Hogwarts Express is not very far,

Keep that cauldron boilin',

Gotta keep it rollin',

Whoo, Whoo, Hogwarts there you are!"

Reginald: "Thank you so much.

Now I know how to get to Hogwarts!"

Weasley Family Chorus: "yeah yeah"

Reginald: "But before I say 'bye,

Would you just give it a try?

I just want to see

How you get through that gate to Hogwarts,

So, Mr. Wizard Boy, won't you show-show me how?

I'd be so glad if you'd just show-show me how!"

Bill obligingly walks to the barrier and disappears; with the Weasley Family Chorus chanting "Hogwarts Here I Come," Reginald closes his eyes and follows. And another student boards … the Hogwarts Choo-Choo!