A/N: Okay, first Firefly fic, so, very nervous. I actually just started watching the series a few weeks ago and OMG, fell in love. With everyone, except maybe not Simon so much because I just don't understand prissy men, but can adore his relationship with everyone and how he cares for River. So, prissiness is forgiven, especially when the crew make fun of him. Anyway, moving on. I have seen the BDM aka Serenity and have chosen to ignore it because seriously? Book and Wash? Just NO.
Alright, this story devolved from a different story idea that I will maybe write one day, no guarantees. Anyway, I was wondering what it would be like for a kid to grow up on Serenity and my brain came up with this. Also, partially inspired by a song called "18 Video Tapes" by Jason Meadows. Didn't much like the sound of the song, but fell in love with the idea within it. I know, doesn't make any sense.
Okay, random weird commentary is done. Please read fic and review with whatever is on your mind.
Growing up on Serenity it stood to reason that there'd be lessons learned, some easy and some hard. Most definitely about fighting and smuggling. How to get shot at and the best way to get out of that situation and by default the not so best way. How to lie through your teeth and kick some ones pigu if they mouthed off. How to play and cheat at cards and give the cap'n the impression that he was in charge because it made him feel better. How to cuss and fight and drink. To know when a shot is just a flesh wound and when its something more along the lines of leaving a friend dying in the dirt of some forgotten moon. It stands to reason that those lessons were taught, easily and frequently, but LJ knows others. He's spent his whole life learning lessons, different ones from every member of the crew that he'll take with him when his body ain't much more than dust in space. Knows what anyone who lived outside of Serenity couldn't know.
He was born and raised in Serenity; knew the feel of steel under his feet better'n dirt. The scent of metal and hydraulic oil more real than grass and rain and Kaylee has always told him that's a pity because she was born on Kerry and all they knew was grass and rain there. He thinks maybe that's the first lesson he learned from her, next to seeing the brighter side of everyone and everything –always- and just simply knowing how Serenity worked. He learned what and who he is. He's a space rat and nothing is ever going to change that.
He's five when the preacher teaches him about God. They're all sittin' having a meal and he's bowed his head to say grace and LJ asks why? He's told a story of a man and a woman and a garden and floods and seas parting and no ones paying the two of them any mind 'cept for the cap'n. He seems caught between telling the preacher to can it and wondering if he should take faith away from some one who ain't even found yet. The little boy doesn't understand what he's hearing yet, but there'll come a time in his life when the meanings come clear behind the stories and "faith" and "forgiveness" will be further lessons learned, but for right now he's just learning about the man behind the expletive he hears all the time.
Mal teaches him about responsibility. He teaches him many other things, especially all the different words for "family", but the one about responsibility is the lesson only Mal could ever teach him proper. There's no text books for this, no classrooms with chalkboard like Inara and Simon have when giving him schooling. No, this is learned while in the bridge or on a job or whenever in the cap'n's presence. It's the very essence of him. The successes and the failures and how sometimes he lingers too much in the latter. He teaches him that there's good in that. It's all too easy to forget when you let your crew down. It's harder to remind yourself of how you could've gotten them all killed or worse, dropped in Alliance hands. He also teaches him there's a time and place to let it go, when you ain't got a right to meddle in the crew's lives. LJ doesn't think that's a lesson either of 'em will ever learn proper though.
River used to watch him when he was small, though Mal would often joke as to which was minding which. Truth was, they had a bond that often left Simon jealous. He'd grown up with her strangeness so it weren't strange to him. He understood what she meant with her sayings and phrases that seemed to have no context in space and time. She favored his understanding with stories of all the crew. Names changed and put into lyrical prose, he knew all their histories, their secrets and pains. Mal and Zoë's losses, Simon and River's own upbringing, Wash's days in pilot school, Kaylee's simple life on Kerry with her eccentric parents. His favorite though was her tales of Jayne. His life on Helios before his pa died and he'd had to leave and find work and there wasn't much else but merc'ing for a man like him. No education and nothing but his size and survival instinct. He liked them best because they told a story of a man cast out into the black and finding a family, his family.
Inara taught him many things. The history of Earth-that-was and the Exodus to the worlds he knew now. His letters and his math's, how to speak proper though he never employed that 'cause it made him sound like Simon and all agreed two of him weren't needed on the ship. She taught him about manners and how to act and dress at high end events. How to shoot a bow and how to play people so they didn't have a clue it was what you was up to. Taught him the proper way to talk to girls, though when he's sixteen Jayne'll tell him something completely different that'll still sound right. Simon likes to say she gave him his culturing where his breeding didn't allow for it to be there natural like. But what he'll remember long after those have become second nature is how she taught him to bend for those he loves. He's grown up on a ship full of stubborn minded people, but he figures Inara might be the worst despite her seemingly compromising ways. He's grown knowing she loved Mal and as a child he'd thought it was like everyone else loved their cap'n but he's come to know its something different. He sees how tortured and how alive the two of them are when they're near each other and he knows the former would leave those meetings if she would just walk away from her security blanket.
Wash taught him how to fly when he was eleven. Amid plastic dinosaurs and trees he found all the switches that caused the reactions deep in Serenity's belly that Kaylee had taught him. He learned about trajectory and mass coming through atmo, speed and weight variables. Finally found a practical use for all that math Simon insisted he learn, but that weren't the most important thing about flying. That was something that Mal and Kaylee and River had a hand in too. Teaching him how love kept a vessel in the air more than gravitational thrusters and fuel and weight. And he loved.
There's no singular thing Jayne teaches him and Simon likes to note that most of it is criminal and indecent. LJ can't much argue, but it sure as all hell is fun. He's the one that tells him how to play cards and pool and hustle both games proper. That it's okay to cheat at the former only if Simon is playing 'cause the doctor could stand to do more chores. Tells him how to shoot a gun and shows him how to take care of it. The best way to lift some one's cash fold and how to pick locks. Tells him the best places to shoot or cut a man that don't kill him and the places that do. But he also teaches him to respect his momma and never harm a woman unless she come after you first. And that if he ever pays a girl for company he better not be expectin' that he can treat her any ole way he pleases. She's still a woman and he better respect her and be nice like. That he shouldn't kiss a girl on the mouth 'less he was plannin' on it being a forever sorta thing. Tells him never trust no one that pays him for work unless its Mal 'cause once you do a job for him you're crew and that's all that needs saying on that.
He was eight the first time he helped Simon bandage up Zoë. There was no one to fret over him seeing all that blood and bone poking through flesh 'cause they were running at full burn from Reavers. She'd been dead to the world and he'd been scared and grossed out, but Simon's voice had been steady and sure and calming in ways it usually weren't and he'd found respect for the man that Jayne had mostly lacked. He came to have another respect as he got older and a little wiser and he came to fully understand what Simon had given up for River. It gave him an understanding and a camaraderie he hadn't ever had 'cause he could relate to the love that drove you to give up everything for family.
Zoë teaches him about grieving, of letting go of the dead but never forgetting. She never says a word about it, nor sheds a tear, at least not in his presence and no one else's 'cept maybe Wash. He learns this lesson when they touchdown on Hera. He's thirteen and it's been twenty years since the battle of Serenity Valley. Mal had said it was time to go back, to remember the fallen. Time for the crew to know a bit of what the cap'n and his second knew. They all stand together, silent over the valley, not a one moving. But before they leave its Zoë tossing hundreds of degradable captures over the field, hundreds of different faces twinkling back at them as they fall and float to the ground. Later, the cap'n will start a brawl in an Alliance bar and Zoë will be there to back him up and later the two of them will sit at the table in Serenity's belly. Mal will be telling stories as he drinks away the memories and Zoë will be quiet, but now LJ knows that don't mean she ain't hurting. Now he knows that there's so much grief, words and the like ain't ever going to make it hurt less and maybe in the quiet, she can hear them all again, them people she's lost.
He's twelve when they land on Helios. Jayne's home world and he meets Mama Cobb for the first time. She's old and wizened and can barely stand on her own anymore, but she smiles when she sees him and wraps him in a hug so tight he coulda sworn he heard bones creak. She made 'em all sit for dinner, cooking it up herself though Kaylee helped her and Inara set the table. She told them stories of Jayne that had them all laughing and seeing the human side of a man they had so rarely truly seen. They left him there for a month, in her care and he wondered as he watched Serenity take to the air and break atmo if he'd ever see any of them again. He did, but he spent his time there helping Mama Cobb and spending his time with ole Uncle Trucker as Jayne called him. Weren't nobody's uncle, but it was his name the same. Jayne swore he'd taught him all he knew about tracking and hunting and they was skills that LJ needed to know so he dedicated himself to the lessons until Serenity landed with only a few more scars and all the crew still there.
When he's sixteen Mal declares its time he learned how to become a man properly. Kaylee and Inara argue and Zoë watches amused 'cause she already knows it ain't no use. Its declared a mans night and Simon and Wash are dragged along to LJ having his first taste of whiskey, but it ain't nothing 'cause he's already stolen some of Kaylee's moonshine. It makes him cough and sputter all the same, but the way his face turns red from it ain't nearly the same as it does when some pretty little thing plops herself in his lap. He ain't got a clue as to what to do and she soon flounces off and Mal makes a crack about how Jayne would've made good on that opportunity. They try not to go quiet there 'cause no one wants to face how wrong it is he ain't there.
Book took it upon himself to teach LJ Mandarin when he's six and almost gets hit by a mule 'cause he couldn't understand what people were yelling at him. It's a headache from day one 'cause LJ is sure he's got better things to do than learn another language. The shepherd despairs after several months of seemingly no improvement until LJ falls down one day while running across the cargo bay and let's loose a colorful string of Mandarin swearing that left even Mal and Wash impressed. Simon notes helpfully that at least the lessons haven't gone in vain.
He was eighteen, sitting on the scaffolding in Serenity's cargo bay as she hurtled through space when he asked Kaylee. Asked Kaylee if his pa wanted him 'cause she'd know 'cause she was his ma and if anyone would know it would be her. He feels guilty when she cries 'cause he's got a whole ammo box full of captures detailing a father's love. A handful of different ones given to him each birthday since he was five 'cause his pa knew there was a chance he would never know the little boy he never got to see.
She hands him a couple more that day and he's a little confused 'cause she said he hadn't made any more on his last birthday. But when he activates the first one he understands. Jayne hadn't made these, Kaylee had. And he learns a whole bunch of new lessons.
He learns about his parents' love, when it was new and shiny and they was talking about getting married and saving the coin for it. What they'd do when they were finally able to settle down and how they was gonna tell Mal they was getting hitched. Found out his momma found out she was pregnant with him when she fainted in the middle of a shootout. He wasn't planned but he was wanted and that was clear as day as he listened to Jayne's voice rattling on about everything he had to teach his boy and how he was gonna keep him from the merc'ing life. About how he was gonna teach him to play hoopball and track and shoot and fight. But LJ learns more behind that. Learns about love, and how to in his mother's laughing behind the video feed as Jayne talks or when he grabs her onto his lap and they both murmur into the camera about the life they're gonna have with their new baby that weren't there yet. And LJ cries when he sees the date on the last capture 'cause it's the night before his pa died and a month before he were born. He's reassuring Kaylee that he'll come back 'cause there's nothing that's gonna stop him from being there for his boy. Truth was, there wasn't nothing that did because he's learned the most important lessons from his pa.
The crew of Serenity, his family, they've taught him many things, about the world and about life. They've taught him about love and being there for those you care about. But his ma and pa, Jayne and Kaylee, they've taught him how love and being there can go beyond death and that family is there for you even when they ain't there.
His name is Jayne, but everyone calls him Lil' Jayne and he understands now what that means.
A/N: Alright, there you have it. Hope you liked, but if not, you may flame away. If its not already apparent, I'm a Jaylee shipper because I love ruffians with a deeply buried heart of gold and not prissy men as I've mentioned. Also, I wanted to try and leave it vague about LJ's parents and who he was and that Jayne was dead because I didn't feel like LJ felt that way. His father was there even though he wasn't and I don't know if I got that across. I have mixed feelings about how this turned out because it sorta deviated from my original idea and I don't know if the last lines really tie in.
Please review!
Peace