Title: Defiance
Summary: A look into Byakuya's thoughts about his lieutenant and how he prepares himself if he ever loses him. Nothing lasts forever after all… or so they say. Oneshot. ByaRen. ByakuyaxRenji. Drabble.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach; Kubo Tite does.
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His thoughts swirled like the dead leaves upon tyrannous winds. They sped onward, as though being pursued by some haunting menace. They disappeared as suddenly as they came and were replaced by new ones as if they were being manufactured in restless continuity. Kuchiki Byakuya sat on the patio that extended from his room, in tough defiance against the threats of the chilly night. He secured his position there, and his presence only contributed to the blackness of the shadows among which they fell. It seemed that no persuasion of time could extract a movement from him. There on his face was solemnity of such depth that no brightness of sunshine could dispel; he might have been brooding over a fearful object. No, he was merely thinking about a single person.
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If there's one thing I can't tolerate, it has to be foolishness. You are foolishness from the tips of your hair down to the bottom of your feet. You are too loud, reckless, and obstinate. You've raised your sword against me, told me all you sought in life was to surpass me. Renji Abarai, we are different in more ways than any man can count. There is nothing between us except an impassable space. There's nothing. There's something too. No, there's everything. You tried to grow where you were not sown, and in time you have gained respect and love by the honest sweat of your brow; mine, above all. You've never known, have you? Maybe you never will. You continuously try to impress me with as much luck as a goat-stealer off to overthrow an empire. That's the kind of person you are; you misconstrue what's important with what's impressive. Why, you once accused me and scorned me for not having devoted any care for the progress and efforts of my subordinates. But I had watched you— am watching still and will perhaps forever do so. My eyes will never tire of you, you, who made me conceive the past as something devoid of meaning. My life was not but a lonely route that climbed unceasingly before you came. My flesh was as thirsty as the ground in the summer. And then you swooped down on me and reawakened bygone pleasures, unknowingly. All of me that was under the earth underwent a necromantic miracle. You were my miracle, and you are still, and will continue to be. So you disturbed my customs, my personal traditions, and natural orientation down to their foundations. And now they wallow down to an irretrievable ruin. You made me do what I disbelieved. You bound me with your wonders, wrapped me in your powers, shrouded me with all of you, and left me with nothing else to do but to feel that thing, that accursed thing that requires a very primitive name and universal appreciation. Love. My pitiful surrender. It still pours down on me with a monotony nothing can disrupt, with a weight no force can displace, and with vibrancy no element can ever blur. I don't know how it came about any more than I remember how I was born. It is a wonder how feeble the power that governs man is. It amazes me how little a soul can exist and depend on. I discovered these wonders the moment I realized I could never ask for the reciprocation of this platonic attachment. I will go on and so will my love without your assistance. Watching you will have sufficed 'til death. With this, perhaps I have established perfection in my life. For a time, that is. Somewhere, sometime, we will be sundered, for nothing this beautiful lasts forever. Come to think of it, nothing lasts forever, a fact as genuine as the continuity of life and the inevitability of death. It's just here, waiting to happen. It is permanently inked in the list of tasks of the governing power they call providence. They say love is only an emotion through which people occasionally enjoy themselves; it does not do things, it does not move mountains, nor does it change what is fixed. They say eternal inseparability only exists in the mind and we delude ourselves with it to flee from the harsh truth that spirits are never stationary; they move in separate ways. They say no two men can defy the world and its natural order. They say no two men can deviate from the course through which destiny guides us. They say no two men can bend the hands of fate. But you know what, Renji? Fuck destiny, screw natural order, and death to providence. Be with me, and we will traverse past and defeat the greatest dictates of the universe and men, be they supernatural or what. Stay with me, and together we will alter, replace, and reconstruct the absolute. Come hell or high water.
END
Note: I know, I know, it sucks. I can't do drabble sorry.