Author: Shirley
Title: Sweet Surrender
Rating: PG13
Content: Angst, character death
Word Count: 1962
Character/Pairing: Draco, no relationship
Summary: Draco's made a decision.
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Notes: This is a Draco-Centric fic in the same universe as
"Possession." It actually takes place before that one. Much like that
one, this is supposed to be more of a fic conveying Draco's thoughts
rather than a full detailed story. The memories are just brief enough
for you to get an idea of what happened. That is the point.
it doesn't mean anything at all
the life I've left behind me
is a cold room"
Sarah McLachlan-"Sweet Surrender"
Draco looked at the world around him. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be.
Of course he had known since he was young that should Voldemort ever return he was to take the Dark Mark. His father had made sure that was seared into his brain before he had even started Hogwarts. And of course at that age he was content to agree with whatever his father requested.
He was also content to do as his father said when he was fifteen. At the time he would do anything to get to Potter, and becoming a Death Eater seemed like the perfect plan. Especially considering his father was stuck in Azkaban.
At the time he wasn't sure what being a Death Eater meant. He knew he would have to follow the Dark Lord. He knew he would have to do as he was told. That was nothing he wasn't used to. He had always done his father's bidding. He was sure it would be no different.
But it was.
He wasn't aware how different until one night in sixth year.
He had been the only other person in school to know where Severus Snape's loyalties really were. In fact, Professor Snape was the one to give him all of his instructions. Severus, being a professor, had access to the passwords for every common room.
Draco had instructions to get into the Gryffindor common room and leave Potter a message. In the form of one of his dead friends.
Now, he wasn't really against killing people. Not until he had done it.
Neville Longbottom looked like he was sleeping. Even after Draco had hit him with the Killing Curse. It was over quickly, but Draco still didn't feel like he had done the right thing. Not that he would ever have told Severus, or anyone else for that matter.
The next day rumors were flying about who had done it. No one suspected him, much to his surprise. No one at this point had known he had taken the Dark Mark.
After that the war came quickly. He hadn't had to kill anyone else until the school had been closed and turned into the Headquarters for the Order.
This had been the second large battle. Draco was lying on the ground, bleeding from the stomach. And from what he could tell there wasn't much life around him.
He had been a part of that. He had killed some of them.
From across the field he saw a glint of bright red. Ginny Weasley.
She had been the one to injure him. But not badly enough. He had managed to get out one last curse before he fell.
He had killed her. Not that it mattered. He had never liked her or any of the other Weasleys. But he never liked having to kill. It was simply something he had to do. Something he did so he didn't get killed himself.
It was war after all. This was what happened in a war. You chose a side. You fought. People were killed. It was a fact of life, and Draco was merely one small piece of it all.
But looking around at the blurry scene around him Draco didn't know that it was worth it. After all, Slytherins had always been known to think about what was best for themselves. Was this best for him? Did getting himself killed for someone who surely didn't care whether he lived or died do anything to his benefit?
Draco couldn't think of one thing he had gotten aside from the Dark Mark since the day he vowed to live his life as a Death Eater.
It wasn't worth it.
Draco didn't want this anymore. He didn't want to follow around someone who was completely mad. Voldemort was no longer simply working for the cause of getting rid of the mudbloods. It had gone beyond that a long time ago. Draco, along with most of the Death Eaters, realized this. He was now simply killing for the sake of killing. And it wasn't just the other side. Draco had more than once seen him kill his own followers. Without mercy. Without reason. He simply enjoyed it.
"Look for any survivors," Draco heard someone say across the grounds. He thought he recognized the voice, but it was far away and he was barely conscious.
He thought his best option at this point was to pretend to be dead. If it was Potter and his army of do-gooders they would simply finish him off. And at this point the didn't fancy the Death Eaters finding him and taking him back to their headquarters. Unlike Potter's Army, the Death Eaters left their dead. They didn't care for proper burials.
A few feet away he heard another voice.
"Harry, over here," this time it was female.
"What is it Luna?"
"Ginny…" she said softly.
There was a long pause from Potter and finally "Owl the Weasleys as soon as you can. Finnigan, Thomas, owl the castle. We need someone to come out and gather the bodies."
Footsteps carried closer to him.
"Potter, it's a Death Eater. I don't think he's dead," someone unknown was standing above Draco.
Great, he thought, Killed by Harry Potter. Just how I always imagined I would go.
"Do you want me to finish him off?"
There was another long pause. Apparently this was something Potter did quite often.
"Malfoy," Potter said quietly, kneeling down.
Just finish me off already if you are going to.
"I've got this one Macmillan," he said quickly.
Draco imagined after everything that had happened, Harry Potter was thrilled to be the one that finished him off.
"Well, well, Draco Malfoy. You can stop playing dead, I know you can hear me."
Draco rolled onto his back and opened his eyes slowly.
"Spare the small talk Potter. Just finish me off already."
"You expect me to kill you?"
"Yes. I am the bad guy. You are the good guy. This is a war. It's expected that you will kill me."
"Well, I suppose," another one of those long pauses he loved so much, "What if I don't?"
"What?"
"What if I don't kill you?"
"I'd think you were mad."
"I suppose I'm mad then."
"What do you want from me, Potter?" Draco didn't like whatever game Potter seemed to be playing at the moment.
"Your help."
"What?"
"You are a Death Eater. And you have two options Malfoy. Either I kill you right now, which I don't think you'd want to happen or you help me."
"Help you what?"
"Win this war."
Draco thought for a moment. Was Harry Potter asking him to join his side? This had to be a trauma induced hallucination. Either that or Harry Potter was quite desperate.
He finally had the strength to sit up.
"And how do you expect me to do that?"
"Easy. You go back to the Death Eaters and act as if everything is normal. However, you pass me information when I need it. And you don't get caught. In turn you don't die."
"And what if I say no?"
"I believe we've already established that."
Draco took a tip from Harry. There was a long pause before he said anything. He was thinking it over.
He could say no, and call Potter's bluff. He was fully aware of that fact that if Potter wanted him dead, he would be already. He could say yes, and risk getting killed by Voldemort. Once again, he saw no plus side for himself.
However, he was also aware that helping Potter maybe the very best way to get away from the Death Eaters. And that was something he could benefit from.
He held out for a bit longer.
"Alright."
"Alright, here's what we are going to do."
Draco listened until Potter heard the Death Eaters coming.
Draco had been spying on the Death Eaters for a month. He wasn't completely sure Voldemort wasn't aware of what was going on. He seemed to be extra careful about saying anything that gave too much away as of late.
Draco's fears were confirmed one night in late July.
He was cornered by his friends Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle. They had only exchanged a few words before they revealed that they had known for quite awhile, as had Voldemort. They were to take him back to the Dark Lord for his punishment.
Draco knew what that meant. He wouldn't be killed right away, of course. No, that would have been too merciful. Voldemort had always liked to torture his victims.
Crabbe and Goyle had him in alley, about to apparate to the Death Eater headquarters when Draco heard a loud pop. It was distinct. Someone had apparated into the alley. Draco was terrified. This was what he had feared since that night in the battlefield. He had been caught. But he was obviously wrong. Crabbe and Goyle were just as surprised as he was, and they showed it by screaming loudly that the person reveal themselves.
They were both hit with a Killing Curse before they could pull out their wands. Draco was relieved. He noticed who the source of the curses was.
"Potter."
"Malfoy. You're lucky Dean and Seamus just happened to be lurking around that bar back there. I barely got here in time."
"No one asked you to come here."
"So you'd rather be dead at the hands of Voldemort than be saved by me?"
"Mostly? Yes."
"Too bad. Now come on."
"Were are you taking me?"
"You can't stay here. As soon as you don't arrive with Crabbe and Goyle Voldemort will send more Death Eaters after you."
"And I'll be safe with you and your army. I don't think so Potter."
"No. I'm not taking you back to Hogwarts."
"Then where-" Harry cut him off.
"You're hiding."
"No. I don't hide."
"Do you want to be killed?" Harry asked harshly.
Draco flinched. He knew Potter was right about this. It was either hide or be found by Voldemort. Hiding didn't sound like such a bad idea.
"Okay. Fine. I don't want to be killed. Where are we going?"
"Not here. Anyone could be listening in. Come with me."
Harry led Draco around the corner into a bar that was rather shabby looking on the outside. The inside was quite nice, and it was filled with people Draco recognized as members of Potter's Army.
"This is where we come to relax. Death Eaters and muggles can't see it. It's the safest place there is," Harry continued, "There's a small room above the bar that is vacant. For now you'll be there. We'll move you when we find somewhere that's a little further away from known Death Eater meeting places."
Draco nodded as Harry led him up a long set of stairs. The room was smaller than he was used to, but liveable. Harry gave him instructions to stay put. People would come in to check on him. Most likely, Harry himself, as no one else was quite sure trusting Malfoy was the best idea.Once Harry was gone Draco collapsed onto the bed.
This was his new life. He was away from Death Eaters, but was this really what he had wanted? Of course, at least this way he wasn't going to have to go into anymore battles. He wouldn't be the cause of anymore death, and for the time being he wasn't going to be killed himself.
He supposed at the moment it was worth living in the small, shabby one room flat, if it meant he could live without having to prove loyalty to a mad man.
Draco let himself get comfortable. After all, for the time being this was home.