Sky: This is what happens when I get really bored and feel like being cynical...

Cuddy: This isn't even that funny...

Sky: You're right, Cuddy, it isn't. But just think, readers, what would it be like if there was a company that hired characters to reassure fanfiction writers that their pairings of choice were safe despite the tumultuous writing? Yeah. Boggles the mind doesn't it. Here in lies what it would be like if we hired House and Cuddy to reassure us of their undying affection for each other. And I wanted to try something a little different in my writing style. So, italics is the interviewer, and the characters have their names next to what they're saying. Hopefully you'll find this a little amusing. :)

House: Sky does not own House or any of its characters. As always, we are eternally grateful for this.

There are very few things in life that give the fan fiction writer more joy then seeing their pairing of choice become cannon. And there are few things more disappointing to the fanfic writer then to see said pairing of choice ripped so callously away from them at the last moment in what seems to be a dramatic turn for the worse. If you doubt this fact, you have obviously never talked to a disgruntled Hameron fan.

These fears are destined to come and go in the world of fanfiction and thus, we must weather them as best we can. But to allay some of those deeply ingrained fears, we, the members of League Of OTP's and Damn Sexy Relationships, have summoned forth some of the cast of House. And they, beleaguered fanfic writers, will tell you that everything will be alright.

House: I have no intention of doing that.

Well you aren't given a choice, Mr. House. We summoned you. Now tell the damn writers what they want to hear so they can get back to cranking out fabulous Huddy stories to spurn on the love fest.

House: Or, I could sit here and stare at you until this interview is over.

You insist on being childish, don't you?

House: Yep.

Just do the interview. Cuddy's here, everyone. She's gonna tell you that every thing's going to be okay. No matter how many curve ball's David Shore throws at us, everything will work out alright. And now, on with the interview.

Cuddy: Greetings, fanfiction writers, I'm Lisa Cuddy and this is Gregory House. He's not talking to any of you right now because he's an arrogant ass.

House: Damn straight.

Cuddy: Now, it has been brought to our attention, as two of the characters on the show, that you are worried about the state of our relationship. Now, we've had some ups and downs in the past few weeks....

House: She tore apart my race track...

Cuddy: He made out with a hooker when I was coming to confess my undying love for him...

House: But altogether we're doing alright. Well...as alright as two emotionally crippled people who are so terrified of being close to anyone that they lash out in childishly spiteful ways, can be.

Cuddy: Of course. We're doing fine, fan fiction writers, and we encourage you to keep writing us in sexy situations. Because maybe one of these days David Shore will get the hint and understand that having us beat around the bush for five MORE seasons just isn't the best course of action.

There you are fanfiction writers. A reassurance from two of your favorite characters that their relationship is going strong, no matter what emotional turmoil they are going through. Now, before we release them, House and Cuddy have some predictions as to what direction the show might take.

Cuddy: Well, the show's something of a mystery, even to the characters that are in it. I never know what's going to happen each week so...venturing a guess could be hard....

House: I know exactly what's going to happen.

Cuddy: You're not going to tell us though are you?

House: Nope. Not a chance.

Cuddy: (rolls eyes) Well. If I had to venture a guess I'd say that House and I will eventually hook up. Hopefully in a few episodes, maybe the season finale....

House: Never gonna happen, Cuddles...

Cuddy: House, what the hell are you talking about? They've been hinting at a relationship between us for the past four seasons you can't just...

House: And that's exactly why it's never gonna happen.

Cuddy: …?

House: Shore knows people like us together. Shore knows we've got good chemistry and that we'd make an awesome couple. He's not stupid Cuddy. He's a genius! He knows.

Cuddy: House, if Shore knows that the viewers love us, why wouldn't he get us together?

House: That's the simple part, Cuddy. You see, David Shore will never get us together because he hates the viewers.

Cuddy: That makes no...

House: Oh, but it does. Think back on, Cuddy. Season 3, we got all those romantic moments. Remember the airplane?

Cuddy: I remember you staring at my ass a lot...

House: That too. I interrupt your dates, yadayadayada, and then nothing. Season four comes along, we've got strip teases and love lorn glances, and hand holding and what happens?

Cuddy: Nothing...

House: Yeah. And now what? We've kissed. We've talked about our feelings. Wilson thinks we're in love. The viewers think we're in love. Cameron thinks we're in love! CAMERON, CUDDY! Shore's made Cameron one of our shippers! You have to know what that means.

Cuddy: (Bleakly) Oh god. Your right. We're never gonna get together. Oh god, fanfiction writers, we're never going to get together....

House: (pats Cuddy's hand)

…? What? No! You're supposed to be reassuring the fan fiction writers that you WILL be getting together! What is this? Why all the tears! House, what did you do to her!

Cuddy: Oh god he's right! There's never been any Huddy! It's all a vicious lie constructed by Shore to cruelly manipulate his fans emotions!

…? NO! Fan fiction writers, don't believe her! It's just a joke. Um...yeah...we're gonna take a brief...intermission...

Cuddy: IT'S ALL A LIE!

_____

Sky: Wow. That was slightly random. But this has been a conspiracy theory I've had for a couple of years now. Shore's an evil genius. And no matter how much I love Huddy, I know the truth. I know. Because I know Shore.

House: You and your conspiracy theories....

Sky: Yeah. Awesome isn't it? Maybe I'll do one of these for one of the other pairings...or do more with Huddy. I dunno. This was kind of fun to write. What do you guys think?