A/N: This is my first attempt at a J/7 fic, and the first femslash fic I'll be putting out as well. Warning has thus been served, so if that's not your cup of tea, please turn back now. But as I've said before, I love tea, and I think people ought to try some different teas every once in a while... :)

Also, the italicized lyrics in this fic are from Part I of Snow Patrol's "The Lightning Strike."

Melting Glass

=A=

What if this storm ends? and I don't see you
As you are now...ever again?

Feeling the weight of this new, more final deadline, I look at the woman who changed everything. It may be one of the last times I can do it so freely.

We are about to complete the original mission, the one that has stayed with us for so long that some of us have forgotten what it is. Of course, some of us don't mind this new life—some of us enjoyed starting over. Some of us have forged the closest bonds of our lives with the people aboard this ship. We have functioned as a family for so long that the prospect of being separated is cutting deeply for many, and that's not really a surprise.

All of us are wondering what happens next.

As I stare at Seven of Nine in the starlight, I cannot help but wonder too.

The perfect halo of gold hair and lightning
Sets you off against the planet's last dance

What an extraordinary individual. I know there is no companion for her more caring than Chakotay; there is no one I would trust more to take care of her. He will give her the gentle and patient guidance she needs to reach her fullest potential as a human being. Knowing this, how could I not be happy? I anticipate their mutual happiness for many years to come. That is what I want, this is the very best I can give her.

If only I could soothe this deepening ache...

Just for a minute, the silver forked sky
Lit you up like a star...that I will follow

As she stands there—still, silent, strikingly beautiful in the starlight—I resist the feeling of misery and longing that threatens to engulf me...but that effort has always been in vain. I cannot control the way I feel, I cannot change the direction of my attraction. It is a river I have failed to tame. No amount of logic is effective, no amount of internal dialogue dilutes the strength of these emotions.

Seven notices the change in my expression and she moves closer, concern hardening her features. Her body is sure, confident; it's as if she knows I am drowning in a bottomless hell of circumstance, but that her hand may save me. She stops, agonizingly close, and doesn't say a word.

For a few moments our stares collide with an intensity rarely seen on this ship. It is dark around us, the shadows only brightened by the stars, but our stares could light the room.

Neither of us will flinch—it is against our basic nature.

Now it's found us like I have found you
I don't want to run—just overwhelm me

Inwardly I feel the glass in me melting under the heat of her gaze. The clarity between what I am morally obligated to do and what I long to do is blurring. This is one of those rare moments when my rank means nothing; when despite all that I am, I cannot withstand such torture.

Before I can break, she releases me.

She is deliberately slow and sure, fluid as she leans in. Her kiss is much softer than I expected and her hands gentler than I'd imagined. Her touch feels strange and alien...yet pure and utterly welcome. I let my hands appreciate the elegant smoothness of her body, the hard muscle in her back, the way she feels this close to me. These are the minutes I have been waiting years for, the minutes that never quite leave my mind.

They don't disappoint.

What if this storm ends? and leaves us nothing
Except a memory...a distant echo?

Seven moves away first, and in doing so takes yet another piece of me. We are close again and my desire has not quieted as I look at her.

Distantly, I feel shame seep into my chest.

But the thought of losing this...the thought of losing her clear blue eyes is intolerable, impossible. Suddenly I find myself unable to contain the hunter in me, the ravenous beast I've kept corralled for so long. The shame burns, but this is something I must do, an expression of grief I must allow.

She responds in kind to my aggression, passion, need.

I want pinned down, I want unsettled
Rattle cage after cage until my blood boils

I've surrendered so fully that I'm afraid I will not be able to stop.

But after a few minutes, my rational brain violently prods the beast back into its dark confines, and with what seems to be the greatest effort of my life, I distance myself again. My hands leave her skin and I am cold once more.

This is it. There is nothing else left, nothing changes. I have no other option but to accept the reality I have created.

I prolong our silent conversation for as long as I can stand, and then I turn around, unwilling to admit to myself what I have recognized in her eyes.

I want to see you as you are now
Every single day that I am living

She watches me leave, I can feel it. I'm not surprised when she calls me back.

"Captain."

That is the first spoken word between us. I pause, but won't turn to face her.

"I do not want you to...leave me." Her voice is tight, the way it gets when she is choking on her emotions.

My voice is soft, and it betrays my own inner breakdown. "Neither do I."

I keep walking.

Painted in flames, all pealing thunder
Be the lightning in me that strikes relentless

A/N2: Whew, that turned out more angsty than I thought it would! Hope it was still entertaining. :) Reviews always appreciated.

I generally aim to write one-shots but a few ideas have occurred to me with regard to extending this story, if anyone is interested.