A/N: Hey! I hear have another story for you. I warn you, its another dark fic. Enjoy my lovely readers.:)

Before you read I want you guys to know that Darcy did not get raped in this story, she just decided to go to Kenya.

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.

Rated M for: rape, abuse, course language.

Grotesque

"As long as there is rape…there is not going to be any peace or justice or equality of freedom."-Andrea Dworkin

Dead. That's how I feel. My insides are gone. Decayed and cold. My bones are chilled. My body is moving but I don't feel anything. I see the rain splattering down on the sidewalk, but I don't hear it. The sky is black. The moon nowhere to be seen. I should have never went to that party. I should've stayed home, crawled into bed and read a book with a steaming cup of tea. I look at my arms and see they are as pale as a ghost. The wrinkles in them, shrivelled like a wavy line. My ears finally decide to un mute themselves and every sound comes crashing down. The rain pelting on the ground. My feet running on the sidewalk. My frantic heartbeat, threatening to explode from my chest. My harboured breathing. But it's not good enough. I can't get away. I'm trapped. My breathing turns into gasps and my lungs start to burn as I sprint my way to my house.

When I stop in front of my house, I'm already beyond soaked. My hair is sticking to my face, as well as my clothes. I look at the outside of my house and it suddenly looks foreign. The outside traced with wood and brick. The front door coloured in dark mahogany. It felt as if I was about to walk in a strangers house. A house is supposed to shelter you. Make you feel safe. I don't feel safe at all. I feel exposed and nothing can help me.

I opened the door and stepped inside to the sounds of my parents screaming at each other.

"Randall I need you to understand!" yelled my mother from the kitchen.

"Understand what! You're the one being unreasonable." I used to cringe at the sound of my dad shouting, but now it hits me as a breath of air.

I slowly walked to the kitchen, not caring that I'm leaving a wet trail behind me, on the floor. I reached the archway and saw both of my parents standing across from each other with facial expressions full of hatred.

My mother scoffed. "I am not unreasonable!"

Please. "You know what. Just shut the hell up Helen!"

Stop. "Oh real mature, if I would've known…."

It. "…yeah well mayb-"

"STOP IT!" It took me a few minutes to realize it was my voice that screamed. My parents looked at me in shock. I have had it with my parents. Always fighting and yelling. Not realizing what's outside of their little bubble of war against each other. I both glared at them.

"Oh my god! Sweetie, you're all soaked what happened?" My moms voice sounded concerned for once. Ha.

I didn't answer. I turned around and went towards the stairs. I ran up them and went in my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I heard silence. No movement. No talking. Nothing. I closed my eyes and sighed softly. At least I'll have some peace. I walked to my bathroom and stripped my wet clothes off. I looked in the mirror and was disgusted. I don't look any different but I feel different.

I turn the faucet on in the tub and fill the scalding hot water to the brim before turning it off. I gently placed one foot in the tub and hissed at the sensation. I put the rest of my body in and rested the back of my neck at the back of the tub. I closed my eyes.

I've always felt that everything happens for a reason. But I don't understand why this would happen to me. I desperately searched through my brain, the last 15 years of my life to remember if I had done anything remotely worth deserving this. I don't remember doing anything extreme. I do remember lying to my parents about recieving an A on my math test when I initially gotten an A-. I remember when I was younger I would sneak into Darcy's room and try on her clothes. They were harmless wrong-doings.

I wonder if Alli knew I left. Wondered if she cared. She probably went off with a random guy and made-out with him in the closet, or the backseat of his car. I wondered if anyone noticed.

"Alli!" I whined. "Do we have to stay here." It was Friday night in the middle of August and Alli dragged me to Declan Coyne and Fiona Coynes' 'Big Summer Bash.' The title explains it all. I didn't want to come though, I wanted to avoid any contact or interaction with Declan. After I kissed his neck back in grade 9. There was no flames between us, but still being in his house flashes back to the extremely embarrassing memory.

Alli rolled her brown eyes and gave me a look. "Clare. This party will help our statues in high school. We could become popular! Don't you want that?" Her eyes bugged out in irritation.

It was my time to roll my eyes. Alli always found a way to try and become popular. She wants to be on the top. Frankly I believe the definition of the term 'popular' is non-existent. It is only used to describe people who flaunt themselves, for people to scare away or follow at their tail.

"Alli. You know how ridiculous you sound right now." I said annoyed.

Alli crossed her arms and put on her puppy-dog face that always wins me over. "Please Clare. This party is reeeaaalllly important to me." She pouted her lower lip to seal the deal.

I sighed heavily in defeat and picked up and dropped my shoulders. "Okay fine." She started to squeal, when I raised a hand. "But. Only until 12:00. I still have curfew." I negotiated.

She squealed and jumped up and down. She hugged me and kept excitedly saying the words, "Thank you! Thank you!."

She released me and trotted away. I stayed in the over-sized living room, trying to find someone I know through the big blur of people dancing. I decided to give up and take a seat on the couch. I looked to my left to see a big grandfather clock hung on the wall. I squinted my eyes to make out the time, but being in darkness and the only light is in the middle of the living room, its hard to make it out.

"It's 8:00." Answered a deep voice from beside me.

I looked to my right to see a tall guy standing in front of me holding a plastic cup. He was wearing blue jeans, a long sleeve brown shirt and black shoes. Most of his hair was hidden under a sideways cap, but from the looks of it, it was straight and black or dark brown.

"Umm….thanks." I said wearily.

He smiled gently and said, "Is this seat taken." He motioned to the empty spot on the couch, beside me.

I shook my head "Go ahead."

He sat down and looked around the house. "I didn't even want to come here, but Johnny insisted on coming. Something about a girl he was once with." He babbled on.

I snapped my head to the name Johnny. "Johnny? As in Johnny DiMarco?" I asked incredulously.

He looked towards me and smiled. "Yeah. That's him. He came hear to see ….."

"Alli." I finished for him.

"Yeah, you know her?" He asked interested.

"She's my best friend." I ground out. I looked forward and put my elbows on my legs and put my chin in my hands.

"Oh, well that's…." He trailed off awkwardly. "So what's your name?"

I looked over to him to see a slight interest in his face. "Clare. My name is Clare." I told him, looking straight into his eyes.

He smiled. Showing white pearly teeth. "Reese."

A/N: I know its probably boring right now but trust me it will get better. Reviews would be lovely.:)