Valentine's day fanfic...
It's that time of year again, when couples parade around making grand gestures of their undying love towards each other; showering each other with gifts cards and flowers, serenading, reciting poetry and public displays of affection. That's right my friends, it is Valentine's Day. The day that makes me want to puke blood, throw a random punch at someone and hurt Freddie...bad.
Carly is of course on a date, with the new foreign exchange student. He's French, and he wooed her with his French ways. Stupid French. Spencer managed to get a date too, he asked out the lady who cleans his socks (I'm not sure he has good taste in women...). So that leaves me sitting on the couch alone in the Shay's living room. The only comfort I have is the knowledge that poor little Fredderly doesn't have a date either. It's not as bad as I'm making it sound though; I have a can of whipped cream and a Girly Cow marathon on the TV, so I'm set for the evening.
I was busy squirting some cream into my mouth when I heard the front door open. Using my lightning ninja skills I spun around and pointed the can of cream at the intruder, ready to fire.
"Oh, it's only you." I said slightly disappointed when Freddie walked in (I really felt like drenching someone in cream). I sat back down on the couch and he joined me. "Still no date for valentines?" I asked him while resuming my whipped cream consuming. Ah, cream...so creamy. He shook his head slowly. "Join the lonely hearts club. We have whipped cream in a pressurised canister." I said waving the cream in front of his face temptingly. Freddie laughed and pushed my hand away.
He then slide something wrapped in red tissue across the coffee table towards me. I raised an eyebrow questioningly and he just shrugged, a small grin appearing on his face. "For you" he said. "Happy Valentine's Day Sam". I picked up the little gift and unwrapped it, to reveal a heart shaped cookie. How lame...and yummy. Something was written on the cookie in red icing, I looked closer to read it: 'HAM FLAVOURED'. I was so over-come with joy I actually kissed Freddie right on the lips for a brief second, but it was just from the ham excitement I swear. I mean a ham flavoured cookie? I'd heard the rumours, but I thought it was just a myth...
"Wanna be my Valentine?" Freddie asked smirking, still a bit taken aback from the whole me-kissing-him thing. Freddie...my Valentine? He has nice lips...wait Sam! Don't even think about that! Ok, so the boy is a complete nub, but I guess he's my type of nub; dorky, loyal and lovable. I should punch him in the face for even asking me a question like that, but I have better idea. I grabbed my can of whipped cream and proceeded to draw a big cream heart on his shirt. I sat back on the couch and began devouring my ham-flavoured cookie, which was heaven in cookie form.
"Is that a yes?" he asked in disbelief, staring down at his now ruined shirt.
"It's a maybe." I answered between mouthfuls of cookie.
Valentine's Day isn't that bad after all.
Happy Valentine's Day!
If you have ever eating an entire can of whipped cream by yourself, review! : )