Does he know that I touch him more
than is necessary to do my job?
That I would never touch
another
inmate in the same manner?
Can he see the blush creep
in to
my cheeks when he flirts with me?
The school girl blush,
that
I never before experienced,
not even when I was a school
girl?
Does he know what looking in to his
eyes can do to me?
I
could get lost...
Once, I think I
must have held eye
contact too long, because he smiled
this
little 'knowing' smile.
I had left the room quickly.
I think I
mumbled something
about having to be somewhere.
And I did have
to be somewhere,
somewhere away from him.
Where he is
concerned I seem to lose
hold of this 'together' facade I have
constructed for myself.
I feel like he can see right through
me with
those piercing blue eyes.
I know that for me, he is a
weakness.
Maybe even more of a weakness than the Morphine
I
used to shoot in to my veins.
I know that he could so
easily
become my new drug of choice.
I need to keep
my head around him,
but I find myself craving his stare,
craving
his presence, craving him...
He does something to me
that I
find hard to explain, hard to ignore.
I know that he touches me on
more than
just a physical level.
He touches me places that
have grown
dusty from little use.
I have shut those around me
out
for so long, in fear of showing weakness.
I have built a
wall around myself,
to keep others out.
A wall that he seems
to just walk right through...
I know that he
will be coming in soon,
and just thinking about seeing him
again
makes my stomach all fluttery.
I can't seem to shut off
my desire for him.
I find myself dreaming of him,
even when I
am awake.
And at night he owns my dreams
and I am just the
visitor...
My heart is
pounding as the clock ticks
nearer to the time of his
appointment.
He will be here any minute now, for
his Insulin
shot.
I have to compose myself.
How can I give him his shot,
if my hands are trembling?
And now, as he walks through the
door,
I know it is too late...
I know that I
have fallen in
love with Michael Scofield.
And I can only hope
that somehow,
I will be able to hide my true feelings once
again...
