In a small apartment in Konoha, a golden haired figure awoke, hitting an often abused alarm clock.
"Gr... Should have slept earlier..."
The figure in the bed squirmed a little, trying to fall back asleep deliberately. It wasn't like it mattered. Kakashi-sensei was always late and who cared if Sakura was shouting about being late?
But sleep did not come back even with tiredness and the resigned figure pulled away from the bed and trudged to the bathroom, where for a confused moment, the mirror was stared at.
Confused blue eyes wondered what felt strange about the sight.
"Ah, crap. I left my ponytail up last night... now the ribbon's all tangled..." Naruko sighed.
"You're late!" A pink haired girl shouted, then paused.
A black-haired boy gave no response as the other girl seemed to be considering something.
"And drop that stupid henge!"
The boy looked up at this, as the blonde also paused.
"...What henge, Sakura-chan?" Naruko wondered.
Was it the fact she was wearing her hair down? She'd had to cut the ribbon to free her hair and she didn't want to bother fixing it. Oh, and the rest in the pack had all been colours that just didn't work.
"Your henge as a girl, moron!"
The boy looked confused too.
"...Sakura, she is a girl. She just has her hair down."
"Damn it, bastard, you can't think that! I was thinking that!"
"You can't control how other people think, loser..."
Sakura however was now confused.
"What are you both talking about? Naruto is..." She trailed off.
"He always henges with that stupid perverted jutsu! He's just pranking and somehow he convinced Sasuke-kun to play along!" She said triumphantly then looked horrified.
'...S-Sasuke has become a prankster!'
"I'm not playing along with anything."
Sakura then grinned.
'Sasuke has not become a prankster!'
She looked horrified again.
'...But then what is going on? Naruto isn't a girl!'
Her horror increased.
'...And Sasuke must be playing a prank after all!'
But then, she grinned.
'...No, that's impossible!'
Her team mates watched this in confusion as Sakura kept grinning, looking horrified, grinning, and so on.
"...I think I broke your fangirl." Naruko blinked.
Sasuke stared at her.
"Hm... Do you think you could try Ino now?"
The blonde girl seemed to consider this for a moment
"How much would you pay me for at least trying?"
Kakashi had arrived a few moments later, to find Naruko and Sasuke looking very confused about Sakura.
"Sensei, is she having a fit or something? She keeps grinning then looking horrified."
Kakashi glanced at the pink haired kunochi with his one visible eye.
"Hm..."
He stared for a few moments.
"I've no idea." Came the expert opinion. Two palms met two faces.
"Okay, well, maybe we should drag her to the hospital or something, this isn't normal." Naruko suggested.
They began to do so. Sakura broke out of whatever mental funk she had entered about halfway there, finally noticing they were now in Konoha proper and not their usual training grounds.
"...What the... Where are we?" Sakura said, making her team pause.
"Ah, back with us, Sakura-chan?" Kakashi smiled.
"Uh... What happened, sensei?"
He explained what he had been told on the way, and Sakura was puzzled.
"But... Naruto had that henge up... I'm sure of it. He still has it!"
The others looked at her, and a passer-by also paused to stare.
"...Kakashi, how hard did she hit her head?" The man asked.
"As far as I know she didn't..."
Sakura however, took one look at the passer by and almost jumped out of her skin. Everyone else in the area had the same response when she released a shriek that combined a banshee with a tornado siren.
"What now? Is there a spider or something? Wait, no, she's not afraid of spiders..." Naruko asked, as Sakura turned pale and pointed at the passer-by.
"Y-y-y-y-y..."
"You're sure she hasn't hit her head? Been poisoned? Smoked something? She doesn't seem quite right, Kakashi-san..."
"Y-y-y-y-y..."
"Well, we were just taking her to the hospital anyway. Whatever's wrong they ought to find it, right?" Kakashi replied to the man.
"Y-y-y-y-y..."
"Ask for my student, he's done some extensive medical psychology work. And maybe also look for a Yamanaka..."
"Y-y-y-y-y... YOU'RE OROCHIMARU!" Sakura screamed again, causing much wincing.
"...Well, she recognises people at least." Orochimaru deadpanned.
"Why are you here?"
"Jeez, Sakura-chan, try to use an indoor voice. I know we're outside but..." Naruko said, but was ignored.
"Why would I not be here?"
"You're supposed to be in Oto! Plotting or something!"
All were puzzled.
"...Where the hell is Oto?" Sasuke asked.
"Isn't Oto Doroshii Inuzuka's ninken?"
"No, that's Toto, Naruko..." Kakashi pointed out, just as Sakura stammered for a bit and collapsed.
"...Great, now we have to carry her."
She awoke closer to the hospital, groaning and a little confused to find herself piggybacked on her Sensei.
" What's going on?" Sakura asked.
"We're still not sure." Naruko pointed out.
"...That really isn't a henge, is it?"
"No, it's a hairstyle. One I don't like but I didn't have any ribbons the right colour..."
Sakura was silent as the trio and passenger trudged on.
"Um, sensei, I can walk myself now." Sakura said, having spotted another blonde up ahead.
Naruko also spotted her.
"Oh, hey, how much was it you said you'd pay, Sasuke? This could be my shot..."
"Do you honestly need a hundred ryo that much? Can't you just ask..." Sauke began, only to be cut off.
"WHAT THE HELL?" Sakura had shouted again.
"Oh for... What now?"
"Why is Shikamaru a girl?"
"...Who?" Kakashi wondered.
Sakura promptly fainted again.
Asuma and his team, for their part, stared in some confusion at the collapsed pinkette.
"...What the hell have you guys been doing with her to drive her so crazy?" Ino pondered.
"Apparently not wearing my hair in a ponytail causes her to go nuts." Naruko said.
"Well, it means you aren't such a copycat..."
"You wear yours at the front as well, I wear mine all at the back! And my hair's darker! It's totally different..."
"Ladies, if you could stop this hair argument for a minute, Sakura does need to get to the hospital... Oh, and Ino, could you find a relative, we probably need a psychiatrist..." Kakashi interrupted.
"...And I use an orange ribbon too..."
"Naruko!"
For her part, Shikako simply watched Team Seven walk away carrying their apparently crazy only non-clan member.
"...Troublesome."
"What, Sakura or the hair thing?" Choji asked.
"Both."
Sakura blinked awake now finally on a hospital bed.
"Ah, she's coming around..." A voice said, and she turned to see...
"KABUTO!"
She promptly fainted again.
"...Never mind."
"...We're not entirely sure at all what is causing it, Hokage-sama, but she responded in very strange ways to seeing one of our medics."
Sakura heard voices outside her hospital room as she awoke again, and felt relief. The Hokage was here, and whatever was wrong here... Well, Tsunade would fix it all.
"I see. Well, until we know she's off Team Seven. I'll see if we can rotate another Genin into the team for their mission tomorrow. We have to send Naruko-chan of course because, well, if I don't send her to Suna when there's a chance for it I'll never hear the end of it."
Wait... who was that? The first voice sounded like Shizune but...
"Very true... I'll just check and see if... Ah, yes..."
Shizune indeed put her head around the doorframe, and glanced in.
"She's awake again, Hokage-sama, but I'll stay here in case she has another odd reaction."
"Shizune, what could possibly..." A red-haired woman said as she entered the room.
"Who the hell are you?" Sakura challenged.
"...Never mind. Still, she didn't faint or anything, that's a plus I guess."
"Indeed."
"Anyway, Sakura-chan, since whatever is going on inside your head seems to be playing lots of tricks with your memory..."
"...Hokage-sama, you really need to choose words more carefully with medical matters..."
"... Damn it Shizune, you're breaking my flow here. Anyway, where was I?" The red-haired apparent Hokage said.
"You were saying I was going crazy..." Sakura replied.
"Ah, yeah. Since you're going nuts, no surprise given your team mates, sorry about that, you seem to have forgotten that I'm the Godaime Hokage... Wait, what day is today again?"
"Wednesday, Hokage-sama..." Shizune sighed.
"Not Tuesday? No clan meetings or anything?"
"No, Hokage-Sama..."
"Ah, okay. Anyway, because it's Wednesday, I am Kushina Namikaze." She said with a playful grin.
Sakura simply stared at her.
"...Who? And what does the day have to do with who you are?"
Kushina waved her hand around as if shooing a fly away.
"Meh, clan stuff, on Tuesdays the council deals with clan stuff so I have to be head of my birth clan and not my marriage clan but that's all boring stuff and anyway the actual head of the Namikaze clan is suspended from those meetings for another week..."
"Hokage-sama, she was taking the Chunin exams..."
"Excuses, excuses, don't show at the meetings, you're suspended for six weeks. It's a rule. We wrote it down and everything. Besides, I didn't hear her complaining. Or the Clan Council for that matter. Besides, you know how peaceful it is to have just a few meetings without Inochi using Choza's peanuts to shoot down all those paper darts? Honestly, of all his other students to introduce her to, Jiraiya takes her to some sort of origami-nin..." Kushina rambled.
"We seem to be getting somewhat sidetracked..." Shizune protested.
"Of course we are. It's Wednesday. Civilian Council. Boring."
Sakura simply stared in confusion.
"Um... I'm sorry but I honestly... How can you be the Godaime? Tsunade is the..."
The air seemed to chill as she mentioned the name. Kushina and Shizune both glared at her.
"...Tsunade is what, genin?" Kushina demanded.
The playful air she had projected up until now had vanished and a cold, business-like attitude had taken hold. Sakura recognised it well. From what Sakura had seen of the Sandaime it must have been a Hokage thing. She hadn't had much experience with their new Hokage yet... a Hokage who apparently was not actually the Hokage and her name seemed to cause a very odd response.
"...Well, I... I thought she was the Godaime."
"Tsunade would become the Hokage over my dead body." Shizune spat, much of the venom on the name of her sensei.
"Shizune, it's clear that something is very wrong with Haruno-san. Since she doesn't seem to like the best medical psychiatrist the hospital has I'm going to have to ask for Inochi to come as soon as possible."
Kushina turned to look at Sakura once more, and with a small grin brought back the more calming air to the room.
"But hey, you're on my Naruko-chan's team and you're Ino-chan's friend so I'm sure he'll be nice."
"Naru... You're hi...her mother?" Sakura sputtered before she could stop herself.
A second later she wondered how she could correct the gender but not actually stop her mouth from saying the sentence in the first place.
"Well, yeah, of course. Her dad was the Yondaime in case you forgot that. Clue is in the name and all. "
"But the Yondaime died defeating the Kyuubi! And he wasn't married!"
Kushina chuckled.
"Get better soon, Sakura-chan." She said, leaving the room.
Sakura could have sworn she heard an impersonation of a cuckoo clock as Shizune sighed.
"I'm really sorry about that. She just came over here to delay that meeting..."
A few hours later, Inochi stood before his Hokage, who was now looking up from the report. A bored-looking female ANBU with a snake mask stood in the corner. Inochi didn't bother looking for any others. Either they were hidden, or not there..
"Well, Inochi, from the look of it I was right. She is..."
At this point, the hour struck, and the nearby clock , a gift from the Land of Iron, released the cuckoo inside.
"...Yeah, that. Good clock!"
"...Kushina, please, can we treat this with seriousness?" Inochi sighed.
"Of course. Anyway, let's see if I have this. She recalls Naruko as a boy, bearing my clan name as a last name, and thought that this Naurto Uzumaki she recalls was an orphan unaware of his parentage at all. She also thought for some reason someone called Itachi had gone nuts and slaughtered the whole Uchiha clan... As fun an idea as that sounds sometimes that's a bit much to stop Mikoto and Fugaku nagging me about planning permission for that new dojo..."
Inochi wisely elected not mention the request to purchase that spare land beside the shop to build an extra greenhouse.
"She is still a bit of a fangirl for Sasuke, but she said he was a brooding loner avenger type. She also though Tsunade was the Godaime and not me, that Hiruzen had become Hokage again until Orochimaru killed him and that Kabuto was a spy for a place that Orochimaru commaned called Oto."
"Yes, that sums it up." Inochi nodded
Kushina pondered this for a moment, standing up from the desk to look out of the window before she spoke again.
"Isn't Oto Doroshii Inuzuka's ninken?"
"No, that's Toto, Hokage-sama. " The ANBU helpfully corrected
"Ah, thanks, Anko. So, do you have any ideas what caused this?"
Inochi shrugged.
"I'm afraid that there was no sign of a cause. There did seem to be some greater resistance than expected but that's well within tolerable limits for most younger girls. They guard their thoughts considerably. I should note though, that her greater resistance may have been linked to a split or secondary personality. I saw some traces of it lurking around the shadows, so to speak."
"Could that possibly be related? Something or other has triggered the secondary personality into thinking these things and the real Sakura is now in confusion over it all?" Kushina pondered.
"Unlikely, but possible. However, as I say in the report if she has recollection of reality it has found itself at the very least suppressed far deeper than is safe to delve in."
Kushina was silent again.
"What could trigger something like this? It certainly isn't any sort of childhood trauma, at most she was teased about her forehead and our brats soon helped her out with that. Her parents love her, there's no evidence of any abuse there... There's nothing. It's as if she's suddenly come from another world and replaced our Sakura."
"Well, on that last point, perhaps the Uchiha could help. Time and Space jutsu are not understood well, but what little is known is known by the Uchiha."
"Good idea. Shis... Grasshopper, please ask Fugaku to arrange an informal meeting between myself and the Uchiha Clan elders at their earliest convenience."
The previously-hidden ANBU nodded and left.
Back in the hospital, Sakura had stopped screeching at seeing Kabuto, but remained obviously wary.
"I don't understand at all... Yesterday everything I said before made sense and now you're saying that's all fake?"
"Yes. But try to repeat back all we said really happened, and see if that jogs your memory, Sakura." Kabuto advised.
"Well... You said the first difference was that Tsunade was caught experimenting on people and not Orochimaru... And she fled the village to try and find a way to revive the dead. Then Orichimaru was here during the Kyuubi atta... incident and helped to prevent... What was his name?"
"Madara." Shizune prompted.
"...Prevented him from breaking the seal on... The Kyuubi was really sealed into Kushina?"
"Yes. Now, please continue?"
"...But the seal was weakened and the only way the Yondaime could stop the demon escaping was to use a seal that would put the demon in a new vessel, but it take his own life to do it. He did it without hesitation, saving his wife and daughter, plus the rest of the village. "
Sakura paused.
"Um... And then they offered the position of Godaime to Orochimaru but he refused it... again... and when she recovered from giving birth and from her husband's death Kushina Namikaze became the Godaime. And there wasn't an Uchiha massacre for some reason... Because, er... You really did say that about Sasuke's family earlier, didn't you?"
"Yes, he has three siblings, one older, and the twins are still in the academy."
"...Um, I think that's about it except that for some reason a lot of boys... people I thought were boys... are girls..."
"Well, that's only for your graduating year. It seemed that an unusually high number of girls were born around twelve years ago, so the usual two shinobi-one kunochi teams had to be inverted." Shizune noted.
Kabuto frowned.
"There are no other memories resurfacing to make more sense with what we say? No recollection of anything?"
Sakura shook her head.
"No. All I remember is what I said before... Nothing you told me reminded me of anything."
"...Well, try not to worry about it too much. We'll get to the bottom of this sooner or later. Would you be okay with allowing your team and your parents to visit you later?"
She nodded.
"Well, we'll leave you for now, but if you need anything you should know how to get a nurse to come, right?"
Sakura did not respond as the two medics left. She instead looked out of the window, having noticed some time ago that some buildings she'd never seen before seemed to now be standing. She recalled that the areas they stood in had fallen victim to the Kyuubi in... in whatever it was she remembered.
She couldn't possibly have invented all that in her head... So why was everything wrong now?
She would stare aimlessly out of the window for some time.
Author's Note
This was a random idea I had, starting as a jokey idea to just get something written, but I realised some dramatic possibilities were there. Now, I'll be brutally honest - I don't actually watch Naruto or read the Manga, but I do enjoy the fanfiction for some reason. I got into it researching requests, but since I'm basically working on fanfics and wikias, I likely get things very wrong so if I continue this one or take any other dives into this fandom here on fanfiction dot net, feel free to shout at me when I get something impossibly wrong with no good excuse!