A/N: My story, and my interest is more towards the character / personality developments between the characters of my story. So there are possibilities that I get some references wrong. I welcome all constructive criticism either via reviews or via private messaging. This is my first attempt ever on writing anything like this so please be kind!

I do not claim any sort of authority over the characters. They were introduced either in the Harry Potter novels or were inspired through the work of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter 1. Dare to dream.

Harry screamed his lover's name and his muscles tightened around his cock so intensely that it tore the orgasm from his body. He woke up panting in the middle of the night, from a sexual moan that was so loud in his dream, he was afraid he could have woken up the neighbors.

That's how it was almost every night for Harry. Well, every other night now, since he had decided to give his addiction a rest.

Harry Potter was addicted.

He was addicted to a magical potion called "dare to dream" that he bought from a witch named Mandoredi who managed to find a new corner of diagon alley to set up shop every other week and was hard to track down. But she was always able to find her customers when they were running low on her magical brews, her manipulation was so good, that even if one wanted to quit, they couldn't. "Just have a few more drops for the week, then I promise, I won't be bothering you at all." And the few more drops were always stronger than the batch she sold to her poor victims that they'd be running around frantically looking for her after a few days, sometimes even hours of withdrawal.

Mandoredi had been in business for years, but students at Hogwarts never heard of her until they became of age. Her magic was spread all around town that it was physically impossible for an underage person to have found out about her, but, if you were of age, and needed a quick fix potion, you turned a corner at diagon alley, and she was there, waiting for you. Mandoredi specialized in adult potions. She was careful about her business; never have the ministry of magic find anything credible to shut her down with. Her business was legitimate even if her ways of manipulation weren't. She was famous for making every wizard and witch's sexual desires come true on their own terms.

Of all the magical potions she had control over in her shop, "dare to dream" was Harry Potter's poison. It was brewed especially for him, with his strand of hair, his sweat, and a drop of his blood. Harry hadn't told anyone that he was a regular customer of this ingenious yet disturbed witch, especially Hermione, who although was impressed with the sheer talent Mandoredi possessed, her methodology and her business practice Hermione thought was purely sinister.

"It's just sex," Ron once said, and Hermione didn't let him 'have it' for 2 weeks straight. Ron also had to sleep on Harry's sofa for a few days where he would just tell tales upon tales of how good it was to Harry, who felt the need to patch things up between the two, so for one, never had to hear about the sexual adventures of Ron and Hermione Weasley, and two, made a mental note of never ever mentioning the name "Mandoredi" to his best friends, for everyone's sake.

Another reason Harry couldn't tell his best friends about "dare to dream" was because of what it actually was. "Dare to dream," a potion he asked the witch to make was to fulfill his sexual desire, sexual needs, while he slept, so he wouldn't have to date or shag anyone in real life.

After he realized he was gay, he was glad that Ginny had already broken up with him, so he didn't have to have *that* conversation, but he didn't know how to go about dating men. His friends were supportive; everyone was supportive, but not really truly out in the open. Harry had asked everyone to keep it somewhat a secret, not lie to people, but just not announce it because just like he wasn't used to women throwing themselves at the 'boy who lived twice' he wasn't ready for a gay male fan base either.

Harry wanted nothing more than to have sex with blokes all the time, especially after he had gotten a little taste of it here and there, mainly in the Muggles' dance clubs. He couldn't have a relationship with a Muggle because Harry hated lying. Why "his date" couldn't come over to Harry's place, and why did they always have to get hotel rooms and what did Harry do for work that he could afford to have casual encounters in a hotel at a whim? Well then there was also the matter of his name. Harry wasn't Harry in the Muggle world, he had started going by James, but hearing a 20 year old twink moan his father's name as he came was a whole new level of disturbing. Harry even considered gagging his lovers so they wouldn't shout out any names, even though it worked with the more adventurous ones, Harry still wanted to be in love not just find a shag for the night. He just never imagined himself to be able to give in completely with someone who could accept him for being a 'celebrity' and not give a rat's ass about it.

If anything ever bothered Harry, one wouldn't be able to tell. Not even his best friends. They knew something was the matter, but they didn't know what. Hermione suggested and he took up on the offer of going to a Muggles therapist. To talk it out, but the trick was to tell the therapist everything without revealing the biggest secret of it all. How do you get to be 29 years old, talking to a shrink and say, yeah you killed a bad guy at 17 because he tried to kill you since you were a baby? That was a one way mental hospital ticket he wasn't prepared to buy. The Weasleys (and everyone else who knew Harry) thought the same thing: Harry needed to cope with the hardships of his teenage years, but that wasn't the truth. No one knew the truth. According to Harry, no one could even imagine the secret he was hiding. He only revealed his biggest secret to one person, his therapist, after which he considered casting the memory charm so he wouldn't even write it down in his notes. The truth was, Harry was in love with his best friend, who was straight, and married to his other best friend. That's why Harry needed a dare to dream because he couldn't dare to live out his dream.

- End of Chapter 1.