Warning: maybe kinda OOCness… (?) uh extremely suggestive stuff… and lots of cursing…
Disclaimer: I'll probably get arrested for continuously trying to steal Ed… but I'll let you know when I care… or when I actually succeed in getting him….
Edward Elric is not a quiet boyfriend
Now of course "not quiet" can mean so many things but Roy mostly intended it to mean three different things.
Number 1: Edward Elric does not know when to shut up.
Whether in movie theatres… "Damnit Roy, eat your god damned popcorn, it cost way too much to go to waste!"
At home… "Roy we're going to have sex now, so get off your lazy ass and let's go!"
At work… "I will not fill out your paperwork damnit, do it yourself!"
And just about everywhere else… "Damnit Roy, I don't want to buy any milk, so put that thing down and let's go to the juice isle!"
That's not to say Roy didn't enjoy Ed's outbursts, especially when they were about certain activities he knew they both enjoyed immensely… (A/N: .:cough cough:.) Plus the outbursts were part of who Ed was, only now they were about more than how short he was…
Number 2: Edward Elric doesn't know when to stop bragging.
Not that Roy had expected too much privacy in dating a younger military employee, not to mention one of the same gender, but still you'd think the rumor could just spread on it's own. But nooooo Edward Elric felt the need to go and open his big mouth and spread the word to everyone in the vicinity.
"Ah shut up lieutenant, you're just jealous because Roy sexed me up more last week than he did you in your entire life."
"Psh what do I care, I don't need woman, I've got Roy."
"Of course I'm happy all the time, you would too if you had sex with Roy, which you haven't, because he's been too busy with me."
Now it wasn't the attention from Ed that got him ticked, because he actually enjoyed the fact that Ed liked him so much. No, it was all the people that gave him weird looks because of what Ed had told them. Or all the girls who looked at him and cried because of what Ed had said.
Number 3: Edward Elric is a screamer (A/N: oh I bet he is…)
Of course this only meant that Ed was really really enjoying what Roy was doing but still, half the time Roy thought Ed would wake the entire neighborhood.
Plus Ed wanted to do it everywhere!! Everywhere and anywhere seemed to be Ed's new philosophy about life.
On the couch… "Damnit Roy, touch me now!!"
In the bed… "Damnit Roy, do me now!!"
On the dining room table… "Damnit Roy, suck me now!!"
In movie theatres, at home, at work, and just about everywhere else…
"Damnit Roy, what's your problem!"
Roy Mustang blinked from his musings and looked up at his boyfriend. "What now Elric?"
"Damnit I told you not to call me that!"
"Language Elric. And it's necessary considering the work environment." Mustang growled shooting Edward a warning look. Not here Ed, not here…
Ed pouted on the couch and looked back at Roy with a little death glare. "Damnit Roy, fuck me now!!"
Roy sighed and rolled his eyes. He finally stood up from his desk. He locked the door and headed over to Ed on the couch, who now looked very… uh… excited for lack of better word….
Ed may be the loudest damn boyfriend on the face of the earth, but damn was he good at sex….
Yay another royed oneshot. Um yeah I was bored, and isn't really working, all I'm able to do is add new stories… I can't edit my old ones… so until I find a way to get it fixed y'all will have to just deal with this stuff…
Oh and I want to wish a very happy birthday to Thejedistarfiregrayson, so Happy Birthday!! :)