Written for a request by crypticmadness on LJ... Happy Birthday, sweetie :D
The only victory over love is flight The only victory over love is flight. - Napoléon Bonaparte
Six years. It had been six years since he had last seen him, and now there he was, just like that, face concealed with almost too much make-up, without his glasses, surrounded by so many others, it was almost hard to notice him at first.
But he had not changed much. There still was his almost blue hair, the sharp gaze... and that voice. He had lost little of his kansai accent, still drawling almost lazily when he spoke and still making him go weak in his knees when he heard it. Gakuto thought he was over him after those long years. He was happy now. He was almost done with University, he had a loving boyfriend, he had kept in touch with everyone.
Everyone, save him. A small but persistent voice in the back of his mind whispered. And it had been that person who mattered. That person he had been working up the courage to confess to all through Junior High and High School. The person who had left him behind, no, who had left them all behind, without a word, without a notice. The person who was now smiling at him from his TV, flirting with his supposed childhood sweetheart in some Drama. Of course, becoming an idol. What else should he have done. He had the looks down, he could act, he loved cheesy romances, he had always been popular.
And he left us. Me. He left me. He knew, he had tried to distance himself from him, but Gakuto hadn't wanted to chase him away with too much contact. But maybe it hadn't worked? Maybe he had unconsciously sought him out more than he had thought and driven him away? But still, that did not explain why he just left like that. No one had known where he had gone off to, and he had never managed to coax it out of his family either.
Gakuto grit his teeth, throwing a well-aimed pillow at the TV (a lovely, very touching scene with much crying and kissing involved, now).
"Yuushi, you bastard."
He did not know what he had thought when deciding to come here. Well, not deciding, he just wanted to take a stroll and ended up in the park anyway. He had read about it a few days ago, while researching Yuushi on the internet (apparently he was more popular than he had thought), there was a handshaking event held near the park they had walked in so often when they still were friends. Before Yuushi disappeared.
Why had he come here? Yuushi was famous now. He made money, he had fans, he did what he liked for a job… and he probably had another girl in his bed every night. That would suit Yuushi. And it wasn't even like anyone would mind, just because of his cursed good looks. Besides, he wouldn't want to see Gakuto anyway, considering how he had just disappeared that day. Anyway, he had nothing to say to Yuushi. 'Hey, you bastard, I loved you' wouldn't quite cut it, punching him in the face would alert security (Gakuto snorted. Yuushi had his own security now.), and generally he would probably end up yelling profanities at him, which just wouldn't do. Yuushi was a star now, surely he wouldn't want someone he knew a couple of years ago to mess up his perfect image.
An ugly feeling began pooling in his stomach as he saw him reaching out, hugging one of the girls crowding around him. It hurt. Oh god, how it hurt. A bitter laugh escaped Gakuto's mouth before he rushed out of the vicinity. "And here I thought I was over him…"
Even so he managed to notice the advertisements positioned all around the entrance. 'Sponsored by Bigini Entertainment'
Atobe's…
He knew the event would be successful, but having all those girls crowding around him, practically begging him to be touched, like he was some sort of a saint, was somewhat creepy. Of course, he looked good and he had known how crazy fangirls could get (the perfect example for that had been Atobe's at school), but he hadn't figured he himself would become their prey like that. But, alas, that was his job.
Taking one of the girls into his arms, so her friend could take a picture of them, his eyes suddenly caught a flash of deep-red hair, though it was gone before he could even blink. Could it be…? There was only one person he knew who had ever had that sort of hair colour, but surely he couldn't be here. It had been too long, he had changed too much. And he wouldn't care anymore, not after all this time. But still, who else could it have been? They were close to the place they used to hang out at when they were younger, so maybe…? But, no. After all, their friendship had already begun falling apart during school, there was no way he would show up here.
"Hey, Gakuto? Ya wanna come get a drink or so with me after practice?" Yuushi drawled, his arm slung over the other's shoulders. They had been going out far too little recently, and, at least in his opinion, that needed fixing. They were friends after all.
He blinked, confused, when Gakuto tensed up under his arm, wiggling out as if he'd been burnt. "Ah… sorry, Yuushi. I'm… I need to go study afterwards." he replied, dashing off towards Hiyoshi. Of course, they were playing doubles now, but Gakuto had never before preferred anyone's company over Yuushi's.
"Really wanna know what's up with that..." he muttered, unaware of the disapproving glances Atobe kept shooting towards both, Gakuto and himself. It was strange. While still in Junior High they had been inseparable, sometimes Gakuto would even come and sleep over at his house. He liked it when he did. After all, spending the night talking random rubbish with your best friend was the best thing that could happen, and he really liked blabbering about stuff with Gakuto.
But something had changed in High School. At first they had played Doubles together again (though it didn't last long, when their Coach decided Yuushi was better suited for Singles), they hung out together during lunch, they skipped classes together. But it had become less and less as school life dragged on. Their third and final year now, and Gakuto would barely look his direction, turning down his offers to hang out together. He couldn't remember the last time Gakuto had jumped onto his back in excitement, hugging him, snuggling up to him.
Maybe he had done something wrong? But he couldn't recall ever doing something to Gakuto, quite on the contrary. He had always looked out for him, called people down for badmouthing him or saying he looked like a girl. Yuushi had always been the person Gakuto could come to when he was angry or sad, or happy, or... well, always. It hurt having to see him distance himself from Yuushi like that. They had been best friends, hadn't they? They had always been there for each other. But now… now Gakuto had Hiyoshi, now Gakuto didn't need him anymore, apparently.
It hurt. But, Yuushi thought, if Gakuto didn't need him anymore that was all very well. He could just disappear out of the little acrobat's life, and he wouldn't mind. Wouldn't care. After all, he had Hiyoshi as his friend now.
Keigo (and judging from their expressions the other Ex-Regulars, too) knew something was up, when Gakuto came waltzing in on their weekly get-together, slamming the door behind him. True, he had never been a particularly quiet person, but he usually didn't slam doors unless he was really angry.
He lifted one perfectly plucked eyebrow as the tropical storm in form of one Mukahi Gakuto came rushing towards him. "You!" he hissed, completely disregarding the others and pointing a finger almost too close into Keigo's face, all the while shooting deadly glares at him.
Keigo did not know what had set the boy off like that, but his behaviour certainly was not adequate. "Yes, ore-sama. Ore-sama would also like to point out that he does not appreciate you ruining his doors. Besides, pointing is rude. Now, kindly be seated and explain to ore-sama what all this ruckus is about."
Reading the signs, Choutaroh and Wakashi had both jumped up, being the only thing that currently held Gakuto back from jumping onto Keigo and strangling him. He did not quite grasp what he had done to enrage Gakuto like this, but he really should learn to control himself a little better. It would not do to try and beat up your friends. His next word however, met him unprepared.
"You knew where he was all this time, didn't you? You hid him from me. You selfish bastard!" Gakuto was kicking and screaming at the two others to let him go, wanting to hurt Keigo so badly, though there was little hope for that considering his still too- lithe frame – luckily so for Keigo. It was only then that it clicked what Gakuto had meant. Of course, Yuushi's debut had been released a few weeks ago, and there was no way Gakuto had not seen it – and with that under which label Yuushi was.
"He had asked ore-sama not to tell you." In truth, Keigo had probably been the only person Yuushi had told where he was, after he left. He trusted him, to keep him hidden from Gakuto should he suddenly decide he wanted to search for his ex-best friend after all. Of course Keigo had known Gakuto would search, he was in love with that idiot Yuushi after all, but he had promised anyway. In return Yuushi would have to work for him once he took over his father's company, but the other boy had agreed. He must have been really desperate to get away from Gakuto at that time, Keigo mused.
To say he was surprised when he say Gakuto's eyes glisten treacherously would have been an understatement. He know he had missed Yuushi, but that his feelings were still strong to that extent…
"You knew I love him" was all Gakuto croaked out before fleeing from the room, leaving them all in stunned silence. It had been the first time Gakuto had actually admitted it.
"Keigo," Jiroh smiled at him, though the pity for Gakuto was evident in his eyes, "why don't you bring Yuushi with you to our next meeting?"
It should have been a normal business meeting. He would have come in, Keigo would have given him his next few jobs and he would have walked out again. But then again, when had life ever been that simple?
"Keigo, I'm tellin' ya for the umpteenth time, I ain't comin' to yer little meeting. Besides, they wouldn't wanna see me anyway." He sighed in exasperation. They had had this discussion way too often, and he was growing tired of it.
"And ore-sama is telling you again, they asked for you to come. They said I should drag you there if necessary." Well, they hadn't, but Keigo probably would do so anyway. Yuushi had hidden from them for far too long and it was time he remembered why they had been friends in the first place.
"Fine. Gakuto wouldn't want me to come." Keigo grit his teeth. How could he be so stupid? He was said to be a tensai, he had excelled at school, he was quick-witted, but he still did not get that especially Gakuto would want, no needed to see him. How could Yuushi not get that? He knew they had drifted apart, because Gakuto had not wanted Yuushi to know about his feelings for him, but still, Yuushi should have understood that.
"Ore-sama… no, I am appalled at your stupidity, Yuushi. You should have known why he hid from you like that. Gakuto loves you, you wool-headed fool. He was scared of you finding out."
Keigo didn't need Yuushi telling him he would come. One look at his pale, shocked face told him he would show up at his mansion, no matter what. After all he had spent the past six years convinced Gakuto had somehow decided to hate him with a passion, and finding out it was quite the opposite was not something to be ignored.
Gakuto knew he was staring. But he did not dare enter the room. Blue hair, unmistakable posture. What was Yuushi doing here? His thoughts were circulating at high speed. He wouldn't just show up here after all that time… but… why was he… he… no!
Gakuto spun on his heel, determined to leave before anyone saw him – bumping right into Ryou.
"Not thinking about leaving so soon, are we, Gakuto?" the other grinned down at him, right as Choutaroh peeked over his boyfriend's shoulder.
"Oshitari-senpai!" the younger boy shouted into the room, waving in greeting. Gakuto froze. If Yuushi hadn't already seen him he would have now, because no one could have missed that oaf screaming like mad. Fuck. Shit-fucking crap. He had to get out before Yuushi could talk to him.
Shoving Ryou out of the way, Gakuto made for a dash towards the exit, ignoring the footsteps behind him until hand wrapped itself around his wrist, effectively stopping his flight.
"Gakuto. Gakuto, look at me." Yuushi demanded, as he continued to stubbornly stare straight ahead. He had vanished, had left Gakuto behind, and he couldn't just face him. But his voice still sent those shivers down his spine, and his hand felt so warm and nice on his skin. No, Yuushi really barely had changed. Gakuto thought, slowly, reluctantly turning to face the other.
"What do you want, Yuushi?" Gakuto tried sounding cold, glaring at him, but really, he couldn't. He had loved this man since what seemed like forever, he was finally facing him again after six long years. His own voice betrayed him, sounding soft, slightly broken, as he looked into the eyes of the man who had been the cause of so much misery.
"Ya know, I thought ya hated me, when ya kept ignorin' me… I thought I had done somethin' wrong. It hurt, Gakuto, seein' ya all happy with Hiyoshi an' them all the time…" Not even Yuushi seemed to know what to say, but he didn't want to hear it either way.
"You were the one who left me! I was always there, I was always in reach and you just left, without a trace! I thought something had happened to you for god knows how long, and not even your fucking family would tell me anything! I thought you knew what was wrong! I thought you would understand… fuck, Yuushi, I loved you! I still…" Just realizing what he had yelled, Gakuto paused. He hadn't just… Fuck. Yuushi wasn't supposed to find out. He wasn't going to tell him, ever, he wasn't supposed to be feeling that way anymore.
Ripping his wrist out of Yuushi's hold he turned, wanting to bolt. Yet, he was stopped, as two strong arms wrapped themselves around him, Yuushi's head following to rest against his neck. "I… Gakuto, I know. Keigo told me 'bout it. An' I thought… ya know… maybe we could... try?"
Where there is the greatest love, there are always miracles. - Willa Cather