From Barneys to Brooklyn by Joan
Summary: A friendship fic centered around Blair/Nate/Serena/Dan, with special appearances by Rufus and Little J. Post Pret-a-Poor-J.
Disclaimer: I only get to play with them, they're not really mine.
Blair carefully perused the makeup counter at Barney's. She knew the merchandise better than the leering salesman, but one could never be too sure. She picked up one of the Lipstick Queen testers and swatched it on her hand, examining it carefully. "So, are you a Saint or a Sinner?" The salesman asked eagerly.
"A sinner," Blair smirked. "I'll take two of the Rouge Sinner lipsticks. And, um, a Red Sinner, too."
"Anything for your friend?" The salesman glanced to the blonde on her right who was balancing a large shopping bag with her own Gucci tote, freshly purchased from the Resort collection.
"Serena?" Blair turned to her best friend. "You want a lipgloss, right?" The blonde nodded distractedly. Blair gestured towards the Shine lipglosses. "Serena just loves to shine."
The salesman nodded and went to wrap up her purchases. That comment had caught Serena's attention, and she tossed the cellphone haphazardly into her bag as she rolled her eyes at her friend. "B, I thought we were over that—what is with you today?"
"What is with you?" Blair retorted. "Still trying to find the number of Camp Artist Boy? S, I thought guys were supposed to be the ones desperate for your number."
"It's just.." Serena was frustrated. She still felt so silly that her epiphany about the shared past between her and Aaron had come as he rode off on his motorcycle with another girl. She'd always wanted to ride on the back of some guys motorcycle like that. "Didn't Kati go with me to Switzerland that summer? I mean, I tried calling on her International and New York phones. You know how she is—I'm sure she has everyone she ever met in elementary school as a facebook friend."
"If it's time for bunch in New York, it's time for dinner in Jerusalum—she'll get back to you as soon as she tears herself off of the latest boytoy soldier." Blair assured her as she signed the receipt and took the bag of cosmetics. "Speaking of—don't you want to head over to Fred's?"
Serena nodded. "Yeah, I'm totally starving. Ooh, I think I'm gonna get the French toast today! I haven't had it in way too long—Mom is on this weird raw foods kick, and all I can get the chef to make at home for breakfast are protein shakes. With like, grass in them."
"Ew," Blair wrinkled her nose. To her, the thought of eating a stack of buttery, syrup dripped French toast was as bad as swallowing 24 oz of green goo. Never mind the thousand-calorie difference, Blair knew from experience how bad those protein shakes tasted coming back up. Unfortunately.
They reached the restaurant and settled into a table, ordering their French toast and salad, respectively.
Serena opened her mouth as if to say something and Blair held up her glass of water in warning. "Before you say anything, S, the C word is off limits!"
Serena looks confused for a second. "Cunt?" She asks. "Because that's not usually one we use during brunch, unless you want to talk about that freshman with herpes.."
Blair sighed. Her best friend could be so terribly blonde sometimes. "Not cunt," she hissed. "That stepbrother of yours."
"Oh, B," Serena bit her lip. She felt bad for being so tied up in her own Dan/Aaron drama. "He'll come around, you just need to know that…"
"I don't need to know anything," Blair snapped. "Except which freshman has herpes and where they picked it up."
Serena brightened. "The same one you held a disciplinary meeting with last week! Apparently she was so upset, she went out and hooked up with some busboy."
"A busboy?" Blair wrinkled. "I don't even think you've slummed that low before, S!"
"Thanks, I think." Serena said. "So, is Brooklyn officially off the slumming list, then ?"
Blair sighed. "I guess."
"I mean, now that we're all friends with Dan, and Nate's staying with the Humphrey's and.." Serena started to happily chatter on and then noticed the bewildered expression on Blair's face.
"What?"
"What?" Serena didn't like being intuerrupted.
"Why is Nate staying with the Humphrey's, of all people?" Blair demanded. "IN Brooklyn!? I mean, doesn't that triple his commute to school."
"B," Serena said softly. "Didn't you know Anne was in Southampton?"
"Of course," Blair stiffened. "I just didn't—" She squirmed in her seat. She had been so preoccupied with her social status, and with Chuck, that she had completely neglected Nathaniel. Whether or not he was meant to be her Prince Charming, he had always been one of her best friends. "I guess I didn't realize how hard the whole trial would be on Nate—but why is he staying with the Humphrey's? I didn't even think he and Dan were friends."
Serena shrugged. "They're on the soccer team together?"
"S! Do you not remember all the times Anne let you and Eric stay in her guest room? We need to reciprocate. Nate belongs…with us. Not the Humphrey's. I mean, don't you think Anne would be devastated to hear that her family is so destitute that her son has to stay in a guest room in an outer borough!" Blair was satisfied with her display of drama. Serena? Not so much.
"The Humphrey's are good people, Blair. And you know how Dan and I have been trying to be friends lately…"
"So we'll have brunch in Brooklyn." Blair decided.
Serena looked confused again, and Blair remembered why it was so much easier to scheme with Chuck. "But we already ordered! And my French toast will get all soggy if I have to get it to go."
"Fine," Blair huffed. "We will eat our food and then go to Brooklyn. We can bring muffins! Nate likes banana nut."
"Blair," Serena hesitated. "I still don't get why you need to go to Brooklyn. I thought, like, 98% of you hated Dan." She didn't need to bother mentioning Jenny.
"So 2% of me can stand him at times!" She insisted. "Yesterday, you were all, oh, Blair, let's eat lunch with my friend, Dan, oh, Blair, let's ask my friend Dan for advice." She paused. "And don't you think Aaron Rose's art dealer is more likely to have his phone number than Kati who's all the way in the middle east?" She arched an eyebrow.
Serena hesitated. The waiter came and set the food in front of them. Her French toast looked so yummy, and she really wanted to savor it. But trying to be friends with Dan was awkward enough for her. How could getting Aaron's number from Dan's dad be any more awkward?
Blair speared some lettuce onto her fork and held it in mid-air. "Don't worry—I can get Aaron's number from Rufus for you."
"I don't know, B," Serena looked between her brunch and her best friend.
"I'll take care of everything," Blair assured her. "It'll be fun!"
"Fine," Serena said as she dug in. She was sure she would regret this.
Spotted: B and S hailing a cab outside Barney's, loaded down with shopping bags and smiling. Good to see them doing what they do best, but how long can these best friends go without major drama?