A/N: The ending is best appreciated if you've read/watched the Christmas chapter/episode of "Gintama."
Disclaimer: "Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu" is property of Nagaru Tanigawa, The Sneaker, Kyoto Animation, etc.
"Gintama" is property of Hideaki Sorachi, Sunrise, Viz Media, etc.
As I've mentioned before, I don't believe in Santa Claus. When I was a child I knew it was only our principal dressed as Santa Claus at our Christmas pageant – and no, I wouldn't be tricked into believing he worked for the 'real' Santa Claus either. I didn't particularly mind that Santa Claus wasn't real. The thought of an elderly stranger invading my house during the night was disturbing; no matter how jolly he was portrayed. While part of me wanted to believe that aliens, time travelers, and espers truly existed, that wasn't the case when it came to the man in red. No, I don't mean that man in red.
Therefore, after meeting Haruhi Suzumiya and the subsequent characters that were realized beings of my imagination, a tiny, miniscule, hard-to-see part of me crazily thought maybe Santa Claus would show his face in the middle of the night. If that were the case, I'm sure my younger sister would be pleased, but I'd be treated to a shock of the sort that most adolescents did not have to go through.
Haruhi Suzumiya had wanted to meet aliens, time travelers, and espers, and lo and behold they came to her – although she has no idea that's what Nagato, Asahina, and Koizumi are. That's why, when Taniguchi brought to my attention that Christmas was coming, I madly wondered if Haruhi believed in that philanthropist of the night.
During our club meeting, that's when Haruhi said it – that those are fakes on the street, but the real one lives in a special place on Earth. Did she seriously believe in him!? My gosh… Could I have been receiving an additional present all this time? I briefly considered asking Haruhi to show me something Santa gave her.
Three days after the SOS Brigade party I was sitting in the living room flipping through the television channels.
There was an anime I had never seen before on, and since it had been a while since I've followed any animated adventures, I left the television set on that channel. I blinked at the text on the screen. What? Pretend it's Christmas even though it was over three days ago? Pretend it's New Years too? What the heck, why didn't they just split this into two different episodes? Did they think if they stuck two different holiday themes in one episode and aired it between the actual holiday dates that no one would notice?
The first half was the belated Christmas episode, and Santa Claus was actually in it. Well, at least someone who looked like Santa. Apparently the colour of his beard was actually brown and he dyes it white for Christmas. Did that really make him Santa? Oh, how do I know this? His reindeer said so. Yes, a talking reindeer isn't abnormal to see in a cartoon, but this guy looked like a freaking man-reindeer hybrid. I was glad my sister wasn't around to see this potentially traumatizing sight. Hey, how come this Santa only has one reindeer? Shouldn't that reindeer also be able to fly? Huh, maybe this version of Santa and his reindeer was more realistic than the traditional stories.
Anyway, the main character, Gintoki, he broke up the argument Santa was having with his reindeer. This guy seemed okay; there was something I liked about his voice. No, I haven't got a voice fetish, but thanks for asking. The guy didn't seem to recognize Santa Claus though, and I considered the possibility that maybe his parents were pragmatic people who didn't want their kid believing in someone who didn't exist – except that he did.
Santa himself tried explaining who he was without explicitly saying so, but Gintoki ended up guessing he was the other guy in red. Yeah, the one I mentioned earlier who lives somewhere where the temperature is the complete opposite of where Santa lives. Then there was a joke about how Santa goes around in the middle of the night doing stuff for kids, which to me seemed more like the type of thing the other guy in red would do.
I couldn't help the casual smile that came to my face as I watched the antics Gintoki instigate continue. A cynical part of me actually thought the black thief outfit suited the apprehensive outlook on Santa Claus some people have. Somewhere in the middle when they were deciding which kid to give a gift to, it occurred to me that Haruhi hadn't made us, the SOS Brigade, exchange presents. Looking at it from two different perspectives, she could either have been satisfied with just our party, or it could have slipped from her simple-minded mind… or she could have thought Santa Claus would take care of it. If the latter was true, then where the heck was my present?
The last scene in the Christmas episode involved delivering meat manju to a little girl named Kagura. I supposed meat manju was a simple wish from a simple kid. Not simple in that she was stupid, but was down-to-earth. Of course, I didn't really know anything about her character since it was my first time watching this show. I certainly didn't expect her to violently beat up Santa Claus, Gintoki, and the reindeer in her sleep. In the end though, she did seem like a carefree kid when she woke up and found her desired meat buns.
As the 'Merry Christmas' written in blood frame passed, I got to thinking of Haruhi again. Perhaps it was Kagura's naïveté or hostile assault which caused it. Those were certainly characteristics out insane brigade leader have shown before. I reached into my pocket, pulled out my cell phone, searched, and dialed the appropriate number.
After only a couple of rings, I heard her voice on the other end. "Kyon! What are you calling me for?" She sounded high-spirited, but also a little surprised that I had called.
I paused for a moment, and then said, "For a Christmas present… do you want a kendama?"
A/N: For those not in the know, Tomokazu Sugita is the seiyuu for both Kyon and Gintoki.
While I wrote this, I felt Kyon's narration in "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" was somewhat similar to the dialogue in "Gintama."