Hey, I wrote this after I saw Breaking Dawn part 1. It's like Edward talking to Bella, even though she's not here. I hope it's not too depressing. I just thought that since everything always works out for our beloved couple, what if it didn't, just once?
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
Take care of my heart, I've left it with you.
You took my heart with you, love. When you…. left. Now, it feels like I can't live. I can't function properly when you're not here to tell me that you love me. When I can't hear your voice everyday, it feels like my heart is breaking all over again.
I don't know what it's like to cry. When I was human, I never cried. Not once. Not even when my mother died. No, I wouldn't show weakness. But now, I wish I could cry. Just so I could feel something.
It's been a year, baby. Our first year apart. She asks about you all the time, Renesmee, that is. She wants to know so badly what her mother was like. I don't know what to tell her. I could tell her how intoxicatingly beautiful you were. How stubborn and hard-headed you were. But, that would just bring back memories. So, I settled for telling our daughter that she is like you. How you were.
Eventually, the volturi came for Renesmee. They came to kill her. We got all of our friends together, and we stood against them. We eventually won. I had to endure ten minutes of Jane. It was hell. But, they went away after Alice proved that our daughter would harm no one. We've lived in peace in our house in forks ever since.
It's September 10th, love. It's Rensmee's birthday. It's also the day you left us. She doesn't know. I didn't have the heart to tell her. She looks so much like you, love. Your eyes, your long hair, your smile.
She's so smart. She looks like she's four, but she's only one. She talks like a four year old, but she's as smart as a ten year old. Carlisle said she'll stop growing in 3 years, and then she will only get half a year older every year. Her life expectancy is 200.
Oh, and She started kindergarten today.
She's also been getting curious. Asking why all the other kids at school have a mommy who picks them up, when she only has a daddy. I think I might have to tell her soon. She knows what she is. What I am. She knows that she is only half human, and she knows how to blend in. You didn't know that. You stuck out, love. But that's what I loved about you. You didn't care what people thought. You weren't afraid to show the world that you loved me.
"Daddy?" Renesmee said, breaking me out of my trance.
I turned around from where I was sitting in my rocking chair, and saw her running towards me happily, dropping her lunch box on the floor. "Hey sweetheart. How was school?"
"It was okay, daddy. What are we going to do for my birthday?" She asked, her eyes practically pouring out excitement.
She looks so much like you.
"Well, we are going to go get you some ice cream, and then we can do whatever you want." I said, and she smiled.
She didn't eat food very much, love. I told her she had to at school, to which she was adverse. There were only three things she would eat. A turkey sandwich, ice cream, and blood. She just loved ice cream, but only one kind. Mint chocolate chip. Your favorite.
"Daddy, before we go and get ice cream, Can we talk about mommy some more?" She asked, pouting, and my smile vanished.
She knew that I could only say so much about you, love. Before daddy got sad and had to leave for a while. So, every week, I would tell her something about you. She was extremely excited when I told her your favorite flavor of ice cream was her favorite, too.
"Sure." I said, and I got up, and carried Renesmee to the rocking chair. You insisted I buy it when you were pregnant. I couldn't think of buying anything for a child I didn't want, but once I took a look at Renesmee, I knew I had been wrong.
I slowly rocked us back and forth. She buried her head in my chest, and I rocked her back and forth, hugging her close.
"What was mommy's real name?"
"Isabella Marie." I said effortlessly.
"That's pretty. What was her favorite thing before she met you?" She asked, and I had to stop and think.
*Flashback*
"What's your favorite thing in the world?" I asked Bella as we sat on her bed.
"You." She said, snuggling closer.
I laughed. "I said thing, not person."
"Um, then I'd have to say, butterflies and sunlight." She said, and I smiled.
"What?" I asked.
"I don't know. There's just something about them The way the sunlight reflects off of a butterfly's wings is just breathtaking to me. I used to sit out in the yard in Phoenix and watch the butterfly's wings shine as they flew by." She said, sighing happily.
"You're so beautiful, you know that? Inside and out," I said, kissing her next as she laughed. "my beautiful Butterfly."
*End Flashback*
"Butterflies and sunlight. She loved butterflies and sunlight. I used to call her my butterfly, actually." I said, sighing as I remembered how much she liked that name.
"I like butterflies, too." She said, and then she got a look of seriousness on her face. "Daddy, where is mommy?"
I froze. She had never asked me that before. She only wanted to know what you were like, but not where you were. I didn't know what to say, so I went with the truth.
"She's up in the clouds." I said, and Renesmee looked up at me confusedly. "She's in heaven, watching over you and me."
"But why is she there? Why isn't she here with us?" She asked.
This is a tough one. She's still so young. I don't know how to tell her that you died giving birth to her, Bella. She'll be heart broken. She'll blame your death on herself, and I know you wouldn't want that.
"You know that before you were born, you lived in mommy's tummy, right?" I asked, rubbing small circles in her back like I used to do with you.
"Yep. Right here." She said, putting her hand on her stomach.
"Exactly. Now, babies always have to come out sometime. And when that time comes, someone else has to do it for the mommy." I said, and she promptly asked why. "Um, let's just say that it takes one person to put a baby inside a girl's tummy, and two people to take one out. Me and Jake helped take you out of your mommy's tummy."
"After a girl gets a baby taken out, they are really tired, and they go to sleep. And sometimes," I said, straining to finish my sentence. "they don't wake up when they go to sleep."
"Is that what happened to mommy?" Renesmee asked seriously.
"Yes. Mommy was so tired that in order to rest fully, she couldn't wake up. And when people don't wake up when they go to sleep, they go to heaven, but their bodies stay here." I said, and she looked down.
"How can someone be in two places at once?" She asked.
This was a hard one to answer. She wouldn't understand about souls just yet.
"Well, there are always two parts to someone. There is your body, that you use to do things, and then there is another part, that you use to feel things. You know how you an feel sad, and happy?" I asked, and she nodded. "Well, that's the part that goes to heaven when you don't wake up. You don't need your body anymore, so people bury them."
"Did you bury mommy?" She asked, and I sighed.
"Yes."
"Where?"
I took a deep breath. "Here. She's still in town. Down at the place where everyone is buried."
"Can we go see her?" She asked, and I turned her around so that I was facing her.
"Maybe when you're older. But, baby, you don't need to see her body. You've got her right here." I said, putting my hand over her heart. "You are living proof that she was here. You are half of her, and half of me. She's with you wherever you go."
"Oh. That's good. I miss mommy, though. It doesn't feel like she's with me. Will I ever get to see her?" She asked.
"Maybe." I said, putting her close to my chest, and hugging her.
I hope you're right, love. About my soul. I believe you now. I still have that one shred of hope that I'll see you again. As soon as Renesmee doesn't need me anymore, I'll be with you. We'll be together again. We'll be together for eternity, just like I promised.
"Daddy?" She said after a few minutes of hugging.
"Yes, sweetie?" I replied.
"Can we go get ice cream now?" She said, and I laughed. She got her impatience from me.
"Yes. Go give your lunchbox to Aunt Alice and put on your coat. We'll leave in a few minutes.
"Okay!" She said, smiling. She then jumped off my knee, and ran into the house as fast as she could.
"She really is just like you, love." I said, looking up at the clouds. "I miss you, you know that? I'll always love you, baby, but it's getting harder and harder to tell Renesmee why you're not here."
I looked up at the clouds for a while, until Renesmee told me to come on.
Getting up and twisting my wedding ring around my finger, I touched Bella's ring that was around my neck. I looked back into the house, and then turned around to look at the sky one last time.
A blue butterfly flew by, it's wings shining in the streams of sunlight. It was almost as if Bella was telling me everything was going to be okay. That everything was going to work out.
When the wind blew by, I swear I could hear the words 'I love you'.
"I love you too, my beautiful butterfly. Always and forever." I whispered, smiling at the clouds, and then walking inside to find my daughter.
Our daughter.
A/N: I hope it wasn't too depressing. Please review. It would mean a lot to me if you did. This is only my second twilight story, since I usually write Harry Potter, so no flaming, please. Review and check out my other stories if you like. Thanks for reading! -nikki a.k.a.- Twipotterfreak28