Somewhere in the outskirts of a town called So-N-So, in a random club named Shaken Not Stirred, sat two familiar faces getting drunker and drunker by the minute.
Ichigo: Do...you like peanut butter...?
Renji: I likes oranges...
Ichigo: Wat'cha drinkin?...
Renji: Screaming Orgasm...u?
Ichigo: Sex On The Beach.
Renji: We are drinking very girly drinks tonight...
Ichigo: I dun care it tastes delicious.
Renji: Would u do yer numba one?...cuz like...I would.
Ichigo: Huh...?
Just then a busty women walks through the door and seats herself next to the drunk Shinigamis.
Rangiku: (in a manly voice) Sup' ladies.
Renji: I AM 100% MAN...
Ichigo: Hey...We ain't ladies...
Rangiku: (to bartender) I want a Blue Lady...
Enter Random Person.
Random Person: Pink Squirrel please.
Renji: AHHH TOO GIRLY!
Ichigo: Wut...
Random Person (Yukichika): Coming from the one drinking a Screaming Orgasm...
Renji: HEY...it tastes good... :D
Yukichika: Yeah...yeah it does.
Ichigo falls off stool and giggles like a girl.
Renji: He's turning ghey! DX
Ichigo: I is not ghey I is metro...
Yukichika: Le gasp...
Man! I feel like a woman...
Ichigo: (in a very ghey voice) OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG...! Mustdance! :D
Ichigo stumbles off to the dance floor.
Another Random Person: Now there goes a ghey boy if I saw one...
A very drunken Renji: Who the hell are u?...
Nnoitra: N'un yer bees wax...
Urahara busts into the room yelling: Gimme a Between The Sheets Bartender, I'm
feeling dirty!
Bartender: Best line outta the whole damn thing...
This is more or less the product of a weekend spent with my friend Sam. We were bored, and decided to write a Bleach crack-fanfic. I thought it would be funny to have Ichigo and Renji in a bar getting as drunk as they possibly could. It's pure randomness. Now, I know for a fact that Sam has an account on FanFiction, but I can't for the life of me find it. She posted this story on her account, but this is the edited version and her's was the thrown-together version which may or may not contain a few mistakes. Anyhow, we considered writing several chapters of this, so I'll leave it as 'a work in progress' just in case either one of us decides to write more. Please review!
C. Vincenti