A/N: More Bones fan fiction! This time it's the two we knew were supposed to be together since the first five minutes of the series. I love Booth, I've loved him from the second he stepped into frame. So here is a one shot following 6.10. It's kind of a way for me to show what I want to see happen.
The lyrics/title come from Something Corporate.
–
i hear sound echo in the emptiness
–
Vulnerability was not really her strong suit, in fact she hated being vulnerable. After the two days she had spent locked in the trunk of that car, the smell of cigarettes and urine filling her nostrils, she had vowed that she would never allow herself to be that vulnerable again. She would never again go down without a fight. Yet, here she sat, not fighting for the only person to never let her down.
There were many reasons why she enjoyed working with Seeley Booth. At first it had been because he was very aesthetically pleasing, not to mention highly skilled in his profession. However, once she began to pull back his layers, she knew who he really was. Underneath the cocky, silly exterior lay a man just as vulnerable as her. Booth wore his heart on his sleeve, which was something she found irresistible.
When he had asked her for a chance to show her he could be there for her she had balked. All she had ever known about people were that they could disappoint you. Bones, on the other hand, couldn't. She knew that at the moment when he had awoken from the coma, telling stories of their marriage, that their relationship wouldn't be the same; it simply couldn't be the same.
Sure, she knew now that she would never love anyone to the extent that she loved Seeley Booth. Not her father, not her brother, not Angela; it was always supposed to be Booth. Booth had stepped in front of a bullet for her; Booth had killed for her; Booth had saved her more times than she could ever thank him for. Why had her brain, which was in all probability was one of the greatest of her age, not realize that she had been in love with him for some time?
She understood now that she had been in love with him before his coma. She had loved him from the moment he told her that punching a judge was hot. She was the one who stood by his side through everything. Yet, he went home to another woman every night. A beautiful, athletic, blond who could give him a life that she would never know.
When she sat and thought about it, it always reminded of her how much she hated the living. Yet, as she stood looking at some unidentified remains, the silence pressing in on her ear drums like a crushing tide, she realized that sometimes she hated the dead just as much.
–
feel your heart, it breaks within your chest
–
The thing that he hated most about Bones wasn't that she always spoke a foreign language, or that she was stubborn, or even that she was unfeeling and isolated. It was that she had the world's worst timing. She always had, so he guessed that he should have seen this coming. Falling in love with her had seemed crazy since the moment he met her, and still she was the last thing he thought of when he went to sleep and the first face to come to mind in the morning.
When he had opened his eyes after his coma, he had been so sure that she was his and they were going to have a life together that it literally ripped him apart to realize that they were merely friends. It became an obsession to obtain the dream of happiness he had experienced for four days. It pissed him off even further that Cam and Angela had warned him.
They knew that at the end of the day, he'd hurt her, exactly as he had done. He knew about her past and her issues with allowing anyone close to her heart, but his stupid pride kept him from just understanding that and giving her time. On the other hand, Hannah had been the catalyst to push her into breaking down, to exposing herself for the first time.
He hadn't lied to her, he did love Hannah, but the fact remained that everyone woman would always be second best to Temperance Brennan. He had once told her that she was the standard and that would remain the truth until the day he died. She had changed him in more ways than he could even understand, but he had to move on at some point.
Hannah was a lot like Bones and at the same time completely different. They both enjoyed being independent women, who sought danger, and were very intelligent. However, he noticed the smaller differences between the two more than anything. Hannah loved pie, steak, any other food he offered her. She preferred pants, where as Bones enjoyed dresses and skirts, probably because they made her feel pretty. It was a strange idea that Bones would ever just want to feel pretty, seeing as she was incredible all the time. Hannah also was a very talented dancer, where as dancing was one of the only things he was better at than Bones.
It irked him that no matter what, he knew that for the rest of his life the one woman he would always want and never had was Temperance Brennan, which quite frankly broke his heart.
–
all around but you can't change this loneliness
–
Emotional connections in the workplace had never been something she liked to condone. It generally added to the stress of an already incredibly stressful job. She recognized that the relationships forged at the Jeffersonian couldn't be stopped even if she fired all of them, because they were co dependent on each other. She had often wished she believed in a higher power in order to thank them for giving her such a fantastic group of individuals to work with. It was the first time in her life she had ever been able to use the word 'friends.'
Booth, though, he was her best friend. After Angela and Hodgins had entered their romantic involvement, Booth had become what she needed; a best friend. He was always there, and he always just got it. He didn't care that she was social inept, nor that she didn't get pop culture references, and he actually laughed at some of her jokes.
She had been through everything with him, she had even believed him dead. That was the moment she knew that she couldn't live her life without him. Something that still held true despite the fact that he was never going to want her back. She still needed him there, but she knew that was an impossibility now. Now she was left alone to deal with herself.
Solidarity was something that she had been used to her entire life, so she hadn't been lying to Booth when she had told him that she would be just fine alone. She had coped with a lot of things during her time at the Jeffersonian, and more importantly, her time with Booth. Dead bodies, killers, spies, gun shots, brain tumors, and she had survived all of those things. Still, she had to admit that she hadn't been alone. Booth was the constant in all of those things, but now she was finally on her own.
The incredible pain of being totally alone pushed in on her chest like a blunt blown, the pain should have killed her. Still, she wasn't dead because this was metaphorical pain, the worst kind of pain. Before she even realized what she was even doing she had grabbed her phone and the send button was decompressing under her slender finger.
It rang exactly twice.
"Booth." He said quickly, a taste of curiosity dancing on his tongue. She could practically see his face, full of concern and interest. It was another blow to her chest.
"I'm alone, Booth." She whispered, pulling her legs to her as she sat in her office, "I'm all alone and I don't know what to do."
–
tell me you're alone, tell me on the telephone
–
Her words ripped through his body faster than any bullet could. She sounded so lost, more lost than she had ever allowed herself to sound in front of anyone else. He glanced out of the window to his own office; he was supposed to be on his way home, Hannah was waiting on him, but how could he deny Bones?
He was there for her when no else was, so he would be letting her down if he hung up and went home. His head hit his hand as he made his decision, quickly standing and grabbing his coat from his chair. He was needed by her and that was all the excuse that he needed. His feet carried him, all the while the phone stayed next to his ear just to remind him that she was breathing.
He found her where he knew she'd be; her office, her entire safe haven. The place she always retreated when she felt the world was too much. Her knees were pressed into her chest and for once he caught sight of the teenage Temperance the night her parents had left; the night she was placed in a new place that would never be home; the Christmas they had all spent together; and now that she was alone.
"Oh, Bones," He whispered sadly as he closed his phone. Her eyes flicked to him and he saw the tears tracing their lining. "Bones, what happened?" He asked, sliding in next to her, an arm wrapped around her shoulders. It wasn't fair how easy she matched against him.
"We happened, Booth." She said, one tear hitting the fabric of her skirt as she looked down. He knew that she was trying to shield herself. She was always hiding behind something, it was one of those things he loved and hated about her.
"I know, Bones. I know that it was my fault..." He said, trying to sound comforting and coming off more pathetically. She looked up at him before sliding away and standing in front of him, hands on her hips.
"All of the evidence points that this is my fault." She started, "From the moment we met I knew that you were different. Whether it was because you were more than just some suit, I don't know, but those gut feelings you worship? I had one." She spoke with careful precision, which he knew to mean she was holding back.
"Bones, there's no use in beating yourself up- this thing wasn't in your control-" He tried reasoning, but her eyes lit up at the word 'control.' She hated not having control because she had never had any in her life until she was an adult.
"Don't you see! I did have control, Booth!" She cried, her arms flailing about, "You gave me the chance and I- I was scared. After everything you've done for me. The gunshots, the dine and dash, after everything I'm still scared of you!" More tears spilled down her face, and he knew that this was all of her, everything she had to offer.
"Since my parents disappeared, I've hated the idea of emotional involvement, until you turn my entire world upside down. Everything about you irked me, from your stupid belt buckle to your terrible alpha male assertion. But now those are the things I love most about you! How could I have been so stupid!" She sobbed, her face in her hands. He wanted to do something, anything to stop her from crying.
"Bones, come on, you're not stupid-" But once again she began to speak over him, as if he hadn't even opened his mouth.
"You're the only person who has ever stayed in my life! You're my constant- without you, I'm not me. You wanted to give me everything and I couldn't give you anything back. I'm so sorry, Booth." Her voice broke as she looked at him, tears sparkling in her eyes, but all he could think about was how pretty she looked. "I'm sorry, I know how wrong I was. I'm so sorry." She repeated, spurring him into action.
He had pulled her into his arms within moments, her face pressed into his chest. She took in a deep breath, just breathing in the scent of comfort. Her tears stained his shirt as they slipped out one by one. Booth looked down at her, his finger tips lingering on her cheek, wet with tears.
–
taste the saline rolling down your cheekbone
–
He didn't know what to say to her, he was a man of gut and instinct, not words. Instead he did the only thing he could think of to stop her tears, he leaned his face down and very gently touched her lips with his. She tasted like tears and tears had never tasted so beautiful to him.
She relaxed almost at once, his hold on her tightened as she kissed him like he had never been kissed. It was just like his dream; every emotion that flowed through his body. Her hand found it's way to the back of his head, just as he opened his eyes and saw a flash of blond. He knew who that head belonged to and pulled away from Bones instantly.
"Hannah." He whispered, taking off with out a thought, leaving a heart broken Brennan in his wake.
Hannah was easy to catch up to, she wasn't even crying when she turned to face him, her face set.
"I'm sorry, Hannah..." He tried, but there was nothing to say, "What you saw-" But she held up a hand to silence him.
"I heard everything she said to you. I also saw your face, Seeley. You've been in love with her for a long time. I'm not going to pretend I don't know that anymore." She said fiercely, "I'll be gone when you get back. It was nice knowing you, but I'm a nomad, and I can't stay anymore."
"Hannah, I-" He tried again, but she shook her head once more.
"It was always supposed to be her. Everyone knew that." She whispered, reaching up to stroke his cheek, and he smiled sadly at her.
"I did love you, you know." He spoke honestly, causing her to nod.
"Just not as much as her." With that she turned, her figure walking away from him, leaving him alone in the hallway and his mind the chance to fly back to Bones who he had left alone.
Running was his only option.
–
do you know what stars are?
–
She remained where he had left her, but her eyes were dry and her face was set in a way he had seen before. He did not particularly like that look on her face. When her eyes met her she saw her flinch in the slightest, causing more pain to burst through him.
"Bones, look-" Once again she cut him off, her voice almost monotone.
"There's no need to let me down gently again, I understand your feelings for Hannah, and the way I acted was wildly inappropriate-" At 'Hannah' he felt the compulsive need before he hit a wall, so he placed his hand over her mouth.
"Bones, for once, just listen to me." He pleaded, his eyes were what convinced her not to bolt. She nodded her head once, the need in his eyes literally washing her in anguish.
"Thank you," He whispered in relief, his hand easing its way from her face as he stepped back, mentally preparing himself for the tide of emotion that had been threatening to escape his chest since she had almost begged him in his car. He could still smell the wet scent of rain wafting off her from the passengers seat.
"Bones," He sighed, "I once told you that I would love you for pretty much the rest of my life. But you told me you couldn't change, but my gut told me that someday, somehow, you would."
She was watching him carefully, almost as if she was trying to dissect him, make him as logical as the bones she loved so much. The thing about Booth was that he was never logical and never followed any of the patterns she associated with her line of work.
"When you told me you didn't want to die with regrets, I kind of wanted you to slap me, because I had done exactly what I promised not to do. I hurt you, I gave up. When I was in Afghanistan it was just easier to have Hannah make me feel like I felt with you. But Tessa, and Catherine, and Hannah, they're second best to you- they're always going to be second best. For me it's always been y-"
His words were cut off by her lips slamming against his in an act of not only passion, but also need. She had kissed many men, but somehow Booth was the only one who made her see stars. It was silly considering stars were merely fire balls burning in black space, but with Booth they seemed much more romantic. He broke apart from her, panting, his face full of surprise.
"I love you." She said quickly, not really trusting her words as they fell off her tongue. She didn't feel comfortable with the word love, and yet with Booth she found herself wanting to tell everyone now that she knew he was certain.
"I love you too, Bones, now please let me kiss you. I've been waiting to for like six years now."
For once in her life she shut her mouth and as she pulled him towards her, all Seeley Booth could do was thank god for that.