Author's Note: I thank you all for reading this and I hope u all R&R after. I look forward to the reviews and I hope u all spread the word about my story. I'd like to thank a special friend of mine for helping me to develop this random parody. Unfortunately, he does not want his name announced. Once again I thank u for reading and I hope u enjoy it.
PS: read the bottom first, the very bottom, it'll give you some background info on these characters.
Disclaimer: I do not own any references to Command and Conquer, God and Devil (religion), and any other things.
The Chess Game
Jason: King me already!
Me: What are you talking about?!?!? You have nothing there!!!!
Jason: Yes I do! They're black stealth tanks……
Me: What are you in kindergarten!?!??! Stealth tanks!
Jason: I knew that you'd act like this once I showed you my new creations. See, I modified them
to look like mini black chips!
Me: Wow… I have to say I'm impressed, but I still won't king you!
Jason: What!!?!?! I have chips there on the spot !
Jason forces my head down so that my nose slammed down onto the chess board, scattering all of the pieces and ruining our game.
Me: What are you doing!??! That was uncalled for!! (whack!)
Jason: Ow! Why'd you punch me??? All right that's it….
Jason presses a small button and points a harmless laser at me from a laser pointer.
Me: Tch! What's that going to do? Fry me in two decades time?
All of a sudden, I saw many many tiny explosions and a whistle filled the air as I saw hundreds of tiny missiles came from Jason's horde of stealth tanks and my skin felt as if it were being burned alive! If I tried to step closer to Jason and get the remote from him, the burning got more intense. (whimper)
Me: OWW! OWW! Stop it!!!!
Jason: Not so tough now are ya?
Me: Please! PLEASE! I beg of you! I'll do anything!
Jason: Then king me.
Me: Fine.
However, I swiftly put my hands inside my pocket and took out a control with a warning sign on it. Hmm, I thought, I promised my dad that I'd never use this unless the world was in danger or something… o well! I pressed the button.
Me: I'll see you in hell.
KABBOOOMMM!
Astronaut: Ugh , Houston, we have a problem.
Houston: What is it!
Astronaut: It's unbelievable up here… Have you been notified of a nuclear explosion yet, cause that's what I'm seeing right now…. Holy SHIT!
A meteor the astronaut wasn't paying attention to crashed into the space shuttle that he was using and flung him in the direction of the sun.
Little child in Heaven: God! God! Why did I die?
God: Some selfish little, smart, and rich snobs just fired a nuke at each other and you just happened to be in the vicinity sweety.
Little Child: Then why are my parents not here? I haven't seen them yet.
God: Ummm…. well you see…. Umm… how should I put this in a way that you understand….
They weren't caught in the blast and they didn't die. Want to see?
God opened a hole in heaven showing the earth and the nuke blast aftermath. Then the picture zoomed in exponentially and she saw her parents sobbing their hearts out.
Little Child: Mom, Dad, why are you crying!!!
All of a sudden, they fell.
Little Child: What happened?!?!
Mom: We're right here sweetheart… your father and I were crying because we just want this parody to continue damnit! The office is just too lazy to just GET ON WITH IT!
Fifty thousand other angels and a couple million demons nodded in agreement.
Me in Hell: It's all because of you Jason!
Jason: What did I do?
Me: You cheated!!
Jason: Me!??!?! You're the one that launched a nuke and landed us in this Godforsaken place!
Me: Well, you are emo so I guessed you'd like it.
Jason: ME!!?!?!?!?! Emo!??!?!??!
God: It's true. I've seen through his emo outfit /attitude. He's not emo inside.
Jason: Who's side are you on?
God: (takes off mask)
Devil: Muahahaha! I can't believe you fell for that!
(Awkward silence…..)
Me: So I guess it's undecided…. Want to play another game of chess?
Jason: Sure I'm up for it.
Me: And this time, no stealth tanks.
Jason: Then no nukes…Deal?
Me: Deal.
(DRRRIINNG!)
Director: All right a people that's a wrap! Take five! Then we'll get together and talk about how we're going to celebrate the end of this movie! WOOHOO!
Cast and crew: Phew… I can't believe it's finally over. One entire year of shooting and cuts and retakes and now it's done!
Jason: Hey Brian you did a good job playing Jason!
Me: And you did a good job playing Brian.
Director: Hey I feel like I'm forgetting something….
Astronaut: Umm, Director, ARE YOU FORGETTING ABOUT ME!!! HELP GODDAMNIT!
Director: Oh well….
The idea of the characters Jason and Brian came from a series of games that I like to play called Command and Conquer. Jason's stealth tanks came from Tiberium Wars and the nuke came from Generals: Zero Hour. Well, that's it for this story, and I hope to write many more. Please review! Thanks for reading this story!