*~* I WILL NOT CRY*~* by Child of the Faeries
Okay.... this is set right after "The Samurai of Sincerity". Kind of a sequel to *~* I will wait for you *~*, another Mimato that I wrote, but you don't have to read it to understand this story. 'Kay???
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or any of it's characters.
I should have known that it wouldn't work. I should have known that she would break my heart. That's all girls ever do. I mean, look at what my mom did to my dad. She just ran out on him.
I really shouldn't have been so stupid. But I though.....maybe Mimi was different. Maybe Mimi was special, the one for me to spend my life with forever. Stupid, stupid me.
I knew that she came back from America to visit once. She didn't call. But I ignored that fact, blaming it on ill timing. I was out of town for a concert. We would have gotten together if we could have.
Sure. Whatever. She blew me off, plain and simple.
But I didn't want to admit it. Mimi has been my girlfriend.....since she was eleven and I was twelve. Many years have past, and our love grew stronger and stronger, despite the distances between us. At least, I thought so. Until today.
Today, T.K. came over to visit. He was all smiles. Sitting down on my bed, he started to tell me all about his latest travels to the Digital World. I smiled when he turned red and told me how he confessed to Kari that he liked her. They were so cute together.
I kind of felt out of place. I missed the Digital World, and wished I could see Gabu again soon. Then he started telling me about that day's activities.
I kind of zoned out when T.K. told me that they visited the old restaurant. That was where Gabumon first Digivolved to WereGarurumon. "And then Mimi showed up...."
My ears perked up. "Mimi?"
"Yeah, she showed up with her American boyfriend Michael...."
"American boyfriend?" I said sharply, sitting up. T.K. kind of looked nervous.
"Yeah.... he's kind of like you. But he's got frizzy blond hair and talks weird. But he's really, really nice. And funny." His eyes lit up, and I could tell that he thought Michael was pretty cool.
But Mimi........ Mimi had promised. She promised that she would never love anyone else... never look at anyone else except for me. I had given her my heart........ was it all for nothing???
Later that night, after T.K. had left, I called Davis and asked him about Michael. "Well, Yolei really liked him....." he said after a pause. "They're going to go out for a date sometime...... I don't know how that will work because he lives in New York...... And he is totally in love with Mimi, but whatever."
"But does Mimi love him?" I asked, my voice strained.
"Sorry dude....it sure looked like it." I hung up the phone, angry. How could she do this to me??
**Flashback**
"We might never see each other again," I mused sadly. Mimi shook her head.
"I'll come back and visit. And once I finish school, I'll move back to Japan."
"Mimi, it's going to be hard..... with you in the U.S. and me here....."
"Don't worry, Matt. I love you. I wouldn't even think about going out with someone else. We're meant to be together."
**End of Flashback **
Foolish words. I should have realized that they didn't mean anything. We were young and stupid. We never meant those words, we just thought they sounded pretty and sweet. They weren't real.
But Mimi and I..... I thought that was real.
But maybe it wasn't.
I didn't call her that night. I don't think I could have handled it. Truthfully, I didn't believe that Mimi was cheating on me. That just wasn't the girl I had come to cherish and love.
The next day at school, I collapsed in my Computer class. Izzy came and sat beside me. "Hey Matt, guess what?? Yesterday, I found a Digi-Port that opened in America! So Mimi and her boyfriend Michael went through and helped Yolei-"
"I know! You don't have to rub it in!" I said in a harsh whisper.
"What do you mean?" Izzy asked, confused.
"I know that Mimi has an American boyfriend. You don't have to tease me about it!"
Izzy shook his red head. "I wasn't...."
"Yeah. You were."
Arriving home, I started supper. Dad would be home in a little over an hour. I stirred the rice, drifting off into thought.......
The phone rang, and I jumped. Reaching over, I picked up the receiver and put it up to my ear.
"Hello."
"Matt!! It's me, Mimi!! The love of your life!!" She kissed the phone. "I love you, Matt dear. Do you know how much I miss you!! I haven't seen you in ages!!"
I couldn't say anything. I was too stunned. What was she playing at?? Was she going to make me the fool?
"Mimi...."
"Oh Matt!! I've got a beep. Can I call you back later?? I'm expecting an important call from a friend."
Probably Michael, I thought with a sigh. "Sure Mimi. Talk to you later."
"Poor Matt. You sound so sad today. Well, I'll talk to you later, love!" The phone went dead, and for a few seconds I just stood there.
Gosh, I loved that girl.
What was I going to do?
The next day at school I must had been acting weird, because Tai stopped by my locker to ask me what was wrong.
"It's nothing, man. Don't worry about it." I moved away from him, and he grabbed my shirt.
"Don't do anything stupid."
I sat through my class, my thoughts always continuing to Mimi. I loved her. There was no doubt about that. But if she loved that....... Michael...... Pain crossed my face. If she loved Michael... I would let her go. I wouldn't be the one to hold her back.
After school, I decided to call her. I needed to know the truth- from her. I dialed her number and it started to ring.
"Hey, waz up?" a weird male voice asked, and I was startled. Who in the world was this guy?
"Um... hi. Is Mimi there?" I asked, keeping my cool.
"Yeah... Mimi!! Hey girlie-girl, the phone's for you!" I could hear Mimi walk up to the phone.
"Thanks Michael. You're a sweetheart. Hello, this is Mimi!"
When I heard her say that, my heart stopped. Dread filled my body. It was true.....
"Hello?" she asked again, uncertain.
"Mimi?" I asked slowly, softly. She paused for a minute.
"Matt?? Matt, is that you?"
"Mimi....... I release you. I don't want to hold you back from true love."
"What are you talking about, Matt?"
"I want to you know that I'll always love you, and if you return to Japan I'll still be here...... but I don't want to hold you back anymore. You're free to do whatever you want to do, date who ever you want to date. Don't let me hold you back." My words came out like a waterfall, tumbling and twisting as they flowed into the phone.
Mimi was silent.
"So I guess...... this is good-bye." I hung up the phone, laying it gently in it's cradle, my fingers resting on the top.
I had done it. I had let Mimi go, so she would be happy without feeling any guilt.
So why didn't I feel any better???
I guess Mimi called Sora all upset, because Tai called me about an hour later. He wanted to know exactly what was going on. I kind of felt bad for him, because he was my best friend and he didn't understand what was wrong with me.
"What were you thinking?" he almost yelled into the phone. "You love Mimi!"
"I think I know that I love Mimi," I said quietly. "But she doesn't love me. So I let her go."
"I...I......I.... Is it all about you, Matt? Don't you care about Mimi's feelings?"
"How dare you say that, Tai. You have no right!" I almost screamed, anger in my voice. "You have no idea what I have been through!"
"Matt....I....."
"Shut up, Tai. Just shut up." I hung up the phone, slamming it on the receiver. What was wrong with me? I just..... wasn't myself without Mimi.
The front door opened, and Dad walked in. "Hey Matt-" Turning, I ran to my room. I slammed the door shut, and cranked my music way up. I was so angry. Angry at the world, at Mimi, at Tai...... but most of all, I was angry at myself. I couldn't handle this break-up. She had meant so much to me.
Laying on my bed, my eyes roamed until they fell upon a painting that was tacked on my wall. It was a crude painting of Gabumon and me. I was playing my harmonica, something I had long forgotten. How I used to love that thing....
Mimi had painted that picture when she was only eleven. It marked the beginning of our beautiful relationship.... now it served only as a painful reminder.
I strode across the room and tore the paper down. I crumpled it in my hands, then began to rip it slowly into shreds.
Only when the whole picture was little bits of torn paper on the floor did I realized that my hands had been shaking the whole time.
I sunk to the floor, burying my hands in my face. Tears threatened to overwhelm me, but I held them off. I would not cry over such a stupid thing.
Teen-age love wasn't worth crying over.
Two weeks later, it was raining when I walked home from school. I had always loved the rain, but today all it reminded me of was tears..... tears drowning me in sorrow.........
I walked slowly, my head lowered. My hair hung limply around my eyes.
"Excuse me?" a girl's voice said as she touched my shoulder. "Would you like to share this umbrella?"
"No than-" I looked up and met Mimi's eyes. "What are you doing here?" I asked, softly and almost scornfully.
"You weren't returning my calls. I left a message everyday with your dad, but you never called me back."
"So you came all the way to Japan just to give me a message?" I asked, shaking my head. I didn't have time for this.
"Matt...... won't you listen to me?" she cried out, and I took a step back, startled.
"Tell me what? 'I'm so sorry Matt. I didn't really love Michael, I was just toying with him. Please forgive me and kiss me and everything will be better?' I don't think so. I may be slow, but I'm not stupid, Mimi. I've got to go." Turning, I walked away. I left the girl I love standing under an umbrella, and I didn't know why. Call it pride, but I wasn't going to let her ruin my life forever.
"Matt, I will always love you!" she called above the traffic and commotion. I stumbled, and stopped. "I've never stopped loving you, Matt. Ever. Everyday I woke up and remembered that you were waiting for me. Waiting until the day when I would return to you and we could be together forever. Well, here I am, Matt. This is our chance for forever."
I slowly walked back towards her and stood under her umbrella. "What about Michael?"
She almost laughed. "Michael? He's just a dear friend, Matt. Nothing more. Plus, I think he has a crush on Yolei." She smiled, and our eyes met. In that moment, I knew she wasn't lying.
My arms found their way around her, and I drew her closer, kissing her like I had never kissed anyone before.
When we parted, she gave me a small smile. "Do you know how long I've waited to see you again?"
I smiled and kissed her again. This girl.....that I loved. I had almost thrown our love aside.
Never again, I vowed. Our love would withstand the test of time.
Okay.... this is set right after "The Samurai of Sincerity". Kind of a sequel to *~* I will wait for you *~*, another Mimato that I wrote, but you don't have to read it to understand this story. 'Kay???
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or any of it's characters.
I should have known that it wouldn't work. I should have known that she would break my heart. That's all girls ever do. I mean, look at what my mom did to my dad. She just ran out on him.
I really shouldn't have been so stupid. But I though.....maybe Mimi was different. Maybe Mimi was special, the one for me to spend my life with forever. Stupid, stupid me.
I knew that she came back from America to visit once. She didn't call. But I ignored that fact, blaming it on ill timing. I was out of town for a concert. We would have gotten together if we could have.
Sure. Whatever. She blew me off, plain and simple.
But I didn't want to admit it. Mimi has been my girlfriend.....since she was eleven and I was twelve. Many years have past, and our love grew stronger and stronger, despite the distances between us. At least, I thought so. Until today.
Today, T.K. came over to visit. He was all smiles. Sitting down on my bed, he started to tell me all about his latest travels to the Digital World. I smiled when he turned red and told me how he confessed to Kari that he liked her. They were so cute together.
I kind of felt out of place. I missed the Digital World, and wished I could see Gabu again soon. Then he started telling me about that day's activities.
I kind of zoned out when T.K. told me that they visited the old restaurant. That was where Gabumon first Digivolved to WereGarurumon. "And then Mimi showed up...."
My ears perked up. "Mimi?"
"Yeah, she showed up with her American boyfriend Michael...."
"American boyfriend?" I said sharply, sitting up. T.K. kind of looked nervous.
"Yeah.... he's kind of like you. But he's got frizzy blond hair and talks weird. But he's really, really nice. And funny." His eyes lit up, and I could tell that he thought Michael was pretty cool.
But Mimi........ Mimi had promised. She promised that she would never love anyone else... never look at anyone else except for me. I had given her my heart........ was it all for nothing???
Later that night, after T.K. had left, I called Davis and asked him about Michael. "Well, Yolei really liked him....." he said after a pause. "They're going to go out for a date sometime...... I don't know how that will work because he lives in New York...... And he is totally in love with Mimi, but whatever."
"But does Mimi love him?" I asked, my voice strained.
"Sorry dude....it sure looked like it." I hung up the phone, angry. How could she do this to me??
**Flashback**
"We might never see each other again," I mused sadly. Mimi shook her head.
"I'll come back and visit. And once I finish school, I'll move back to Japan."
"Mimi, it's going to be hard..... with you in the U.S. and me here....."
"Don't worry, Matt. I love you. I wouldn't even think about going out with someone else. We're meant to be together."
**End of Flashback **
Foolish words. I should have realized that they didn't mean anything. We were young and stupid. We never meant those words, we just thought they sounded pretty and sweet. They weren't real.
But Mimi and I..... I thought that was real.
But maybe it wasn't.
I didn't call her that night. I don't think I could have handled it. Truthfully, I didn't believe that Mimi was cheating on me. That just wasn't the girl I had come to cherish and love.
The next day at school, I collapsed in my Computer class. Izzy came and sat beside me. "Hey Matt, guess what?? Yesterday, I found a Digi-Port that opened in America! So Mimi and her boyfriend Michael went through and helped Yolei-"
"I know! You don't have to rub it in!" I said in a harsh whisper.
"What do you mean?" Izzy asked, confused.
"I know that Mimi has an American boyfriend. You don't have to tease me about it!"
Izzy shook his red head. "I wasn't...."
"Yeah. You were."
Arriving home, I started supper. Dad would be home in a little over an hour. I stirred the rice, drifting off into thought.......
The phone rang, and I jumped. Reaching over, I picked up the receiver and put it up to my ear.
"Hello."
"Matt!! It's me, Mimi!! The love of your life!!" She kissed the phone. "I love you, Matt dear. Do you know how much I miss you!! I haven't seen you in ages!!"
I couldn't say anything. I was too stunned. What was she playing at?? Was she going to make me the fool?
"Mimi...."
"Oh Matt!! I've got a beep. Can I call you back later?? I'm expecting an important call from a friend."
Probably Michael, I thought with a sigh. "Sure Mimi. Talk to you later."
"Poor Matt. You sound so sad today. Well, I'll talk to you later, love!" The phone went dead, and for a few seconds I just stood there.
Gosh, I loved that girl.
What was I going to do?
The next day at school I must had been acting weird, because Tai stopped by my locker to ask me what was wrong.
"It's nothing, man. Don't worry about it." I moved away from him, and he grabbed my shirt.
"Don't do anything stupid."
I sat through my class, my thoughts always continuing to Mimi. I loved her. There was no doubt about that. But if she loved that....... Michael...... Pain crossed my face. If she loved Michael... I would let her go. I wouldn't be the one to hold her back.
After school, I decided to call her. I needed to know the truth- from her. I dialed her number and it started to ring.
"Hey, waz up?" a weird male voice asked, and I was startled. Who in the world was this guy?
"Um... hi. Is Mimi there?" I asked, keeping my cool.
"Yeah... Mimi!! Hey girlie-girl, the phone's for you!" I could hear Mimi walk up to the phone.
"Thanks Michael. You're a sweetheart. Hello, this is Mimi!"
When I heard her say that, my heart stopped. Dread filled my body. It was true.....
"Hello?" she asked again, uncertain.
"Mimi?" I asked slowly, softly. She paused for a minute.
"Matt?? Matt, is that you?"
"Mimi....... I release you. I don't want to hold you back from true love."
"What are you talking about, Matt?"
"I want to you know that I'll always love you, and if you return to Japan I'll still be here...... but I don't want to hold you back anymore. You're free to do whatever you want to do, date who ever you want to date. Don't let me hold you back." My words came out like a waterfall, tumbling and twisting as they flowed into the phone.
Mimi was silent.
"So I guess...... this is good-bye." I hung up the phone, laying it gently in it's cradle, my fingers resting on the top.
I had done it. I had let Mimi go, so she would be happy without feeling any guilt.
So why didn't I feel any better???
I guess Mimi called Sora all upset, because Tai called me about an hour later. He wanted to know exactly what was going on. I kind of felt bad for him, because he was my best friend and he didn't understand what was wrong with me.
"What were you thinking?" he almost yelled into the phone. "You love Mimi!"
"I think I know that I love Mimi," I said quietly. "But she doesn't love me. So I let her go."
"I...I......I.... Is it all about you, Matt? Don't you care about Mimi's feelings?"
"How dare you say that, Tai. You have no right!" I almost screamed, anger in my voice. "You have no idea what I have been through!"
"Matt....I....."
"Shut up, Tai. Just shut up." I hung up the phone, slamming it on the receiver. What was wrong with me? I just..... wasn't myself without Mimi.
The front door opened, and Dad walked in. "Hey Matt-" Turning, I ran to my room. I slammed the door shut, and cranked my music way up. I was so angry. Angry at the world, at Mimi, at Tai...... but most of all, I was angry at myself. I couldn't handle this break-up. She had meant so much to me.
Laying on my bed, my eyes roamed until they fell upon a painting that was tacked on my wall. It was a crude painting of Gabumon and me. I was playing my harmonica, something I had long forgotten. How I used to love that thing....
Mimi had painted that picture when she was only eleven. It marked the beginning of our beautiful relationship.... now it served only as a painful reminder.
I strode across the room and tore the paper down. I crumpled it in my hands, then began to rip it slowly into shreds.
Only when the whole picture was little bits of torn paper on the floor did I realized that my hands had been shaking the whole time.
I sunk to the floor, burying my hands in my face. Tears threatened to overwhelm me, but I held them off. I would not cry over such a stupid thing.
Teen-age love wasn't worth crying over.
Two weeks later, it was raining when I walked home from school. I had always loved the rain, but today all it reminded me of was tears..... tears drowning me in sorrow.........
I walked slowly, my head lowered. My hair hung limply around my eyes.
"Excuse me?" a girl's voice said as she touched my shoulder. "Would you like to share this umbrella?"
"No than-" I looked up and met Mimi's eyes. "What are you doing here?" I asked, softly and almost scornfully.
"You weren't returning my calls. I left a message everyday with your dad, but you never called me back."
"So you came all the way to Japan just to give me a message?" I asked, shaking my head. I didn't have time for this.
"Matt...... won't you listen to me?" she cried out, and I took a step back, startled.
"Tell me what? 'I'm so sorry Matt. I didn't really love Michael, I was just toying with him. Please forgive me and kiss me and everything will be better?' I don't think so. I may be slow, but I'm not stupid, Mimi. I've got to go." Turning, I walked away. I left the girl I love standing under an umbrella, and I didn't know why. Call it pride, but I wasn't going to let her ruin my life forever.
"Matt, I will always love you!" she called above the traffic and commotion. I stumbled, and stopped. "I've never stopped loving you, Matt. Ever. Everyday I woke up and remembered that you were waiting for me. Waiting until the day when I would return to you and we could be together forever. Well, here I am, Matt. This is our chance for forever."
I slowly walked back towards her and stood under her umbrella. "What about Michael?"
She almost laughed. "Michael? He's just a dear friend, Matt. Nothing more. Plus, I think he has a crush on Yolei." She smiled, and our eyes met. In that moment, I knew she wasn't lying.
My arms found their way around her, and I drew her closer, kissing her like I had never kissed anyone before.
When we parted, she gave me a small smile. "Do you know how long I've waited to see you again?"
I smiled and kissed her again. This girl.....that I loved. I had almost thrown our love aside.
Never again, I vowed. Our love would withstand the test of time.