In Brief… k8ec
Set: Season 7
Spoilers: None
Rated: K+
Disclaimer: SG1, the SGC & sundry personnel belong to MGM, Gekko and the actors who so wonderfully portray the characters. I just get to play
with them for a short while (cries forlornly into pillow).
The rest of the loonies are solely the fault of yours truly and are not intended to resemble any living person! - Well Duh!
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Jack O'Neill was bored.
This wasn't a particularly new or unexpected phenomenon for him. To some degree, he was bored every time he had to sit through meetings in the Briefing Room, especially when they involved the Heads of the Research departments - two of whom were his own teammates.
He especially hated it when the General decided it was his turn to take the minutes.
Didn't they have Airmen to do this sort of thing? Why did they have to foist it onto a full bird Colonel?
He thought the General did it deliberately to punish him for his part in making these meetings drag on.
Jack blamed it all on that over-efficient little library monitor, Walter Harriman!
Jack had noticed him watching the team intently during SG-1's last briefing. He hadn't looked pleased when O'Neill kept interrupting Daniel and Carter during their pitches. Harriman had always had a soft spot for the Geeks on his team - especially Carter!
So Jack wouldn't be surprised if, when the time came to rotate the taking of minutes, Walter hadn't whispered in the General's ear about O'Neill's inattentiveness - the little sneak! If he wasn't such a key person in the smooth functioning of the SGC, O'Neill would have done something creatively … telling … to him, like releasing Helium gas into the Control room just as Walter was doing his spiel about the chevrons, or greeting some off-world dignitary!
Let's see how he'd feel then, sounding like Donald Duck mated with a Munchkin! It would suit his size anyway!
Tap…tap…tap…
Honestly! How could anyone be expected to take seriously the fact that one of Carter's technicians - Beaker, or something - had his face turned green whilst examining a toy SG-7 had brought back in the mistaken belief it was a weapon?
Or the fact that it took drinking several litres of pure, unadulterated lemon juice over three days before he returned to normal?
Or the fact that his teeth were so … rough … at the end that whenever he went to speak they squeaked like fingernails on a blackboard?!
Apart from the humor in the situation, where was the point in even disseminating the information?
Tap … tap … tap …
Now Carter was starting to sprout her 'technobabble'. Fer cryin' out loud! Just how was anyone other than a Geek expected to follow it, let alone spell the damn words!
Electrical flux stuff - capacitors, maybe … something almost obscene about that statement … building up force … glowy stuff caused by infra-red doodads refracted by Metamucil - um…material er, lens - no, lenses … No! lances! … Oh what the heck!… the St Trinians …thingy … stronger than naquadah enhanced titanium alloy …
Oh dear god! My brain has just liquefied!…
OUCH!
Jack felt a sharp kick directed at his ankle and turned to Daniel a quizzical scowl on his face.
He raised an eyebrow: What?
Daniel raised both eyebrows: You OK?
Jack frowned: What do you think?!
Daniel suppressed a smile as he shot a quick glance up at Jack: Brain Freeze?
Jack sighed and rolled his shoulders in an attempt to relieve his tension: Like you wouldn't believe!
Daniel cleared his throat and shot a quick, pointed look across at the General's seat.
Crap! Jack thought as he saw the General glaring in his direction.
Frantically he tried to catch up on whatever it was Carter was saying and not make it look like he was about to start doodling again. Snoopy and the Red Baron was sooo much more entertaining!
Damn! His pen snapped! What did they make the things from these days? Cardboard? Where was his spare… had he dropped it?
... not under the chair… not in his breast pocket … not hiding underneath the discussion papers …
Oops!
Jack winced as General Hammond passed his own pen over to him with a glare that told him he'd better get his act together fast or he'd be on 'Minute Duty' permanently!
Tap … tap … tap … tap … tap …
More incomprehensible gobbledygook!! Geez, Carter! Get a life already! No-one should be literally drooling over the thought of getting their hands on a new type of power source!
Now, that nubile young priestess on Planet Harem, on the other hand…!
A snigger from his left drew his attention back to Daniel. Don't tell me he'd followed that thought?
At the knowing smirk on Daniel's face, Jack sighed. Oh yes. Daniel had somehow been able to follow exactly what he had been thinking. How did he do that anyway? It just wasn't natural!
Tap … tap … tap …
Oh thank God! Carter was finishing up with a last flurry of in polysyllables. Maybe now he could relax a bit.
GROAN! Daniel!!
Face it O'Neill, you're never gonna survive to the end of this meeting!
Daniel fumbled a bit as he stood up, knocking Jack's papers aside.
Jack frowned. What was that…?
Oh Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!
If Daniel had still been standing there, Jack would have fallen to the floor and kissed his feet!
Daniel's notes - of Carter's talk - and his own! Complete with correct terminology!
Jack smiled for the first time in over two hours. Some chocolate walnut cookies were definitely in order! Or maybe some of that vile tasting foreign beer to which his younger teammate seemed partial!
Daniel's was the final briefing, so he could now relax a bit - not enough to be noticed by Walter, though. Otherwise The General would have him back on Minutes for the next meeting with the Washington Big-Wigs.
He shuddered, sneaking a look around him guiltily for the General's personal terrier.
All this because he'd super-glued Harriman's butt to his Control Room chair when the Big-Wigs last came and he'd fallen flat on his face when he'd tried to snap to attention!
Who knew the Munchkin had no sense of humour?!
Tap … tap … tap …
The General was straightening up his papers.
YES! That meant they were finally finishing.
Escape was imminent! Fresh air! Wide open spaces! Pumpkin pie from the mess! A replay of his team's latest game on TV and a slab or two of his favourite beverage!
Nooooooooooo!
Not tonight! Please, not tonight!!
Jack groaned.
By 6pm? Yes Sir! Yes Sir! Three bags full sir!
Jack stared daggers at the Master Sergeant smirking at the General's elbow.
You wait, you undersized dwarf! You know this means WAR!
Walter's smirk grew bigger. Bring it on, Colonel! Bring it on! He was still smirking when he left the room in Hammond's wake.
Jack growled. One hour! How was he to finish the minutes in only one hour?
Daniel patted his shoulder in amused sympathy as he also left the Briefing Room.
He sighed. Well, the best way to get back at Walter would be to finish the minutes inside the time allotted, and get it to the General in time for him to pass on the follow up to Walter before he could go home!
Jack bounced on his feet. Oh Yes! He still had it in him! Let's see what the weasel can come up with next!
Feeling much more positive now that he had a game plan, Jack headed back to his Office. April Fool's Day was coming around soon. He'd have to think up something truly special for Master Sergeant Harriman's enjoyment!
Something reeeaaallly special!!!!
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