Here is my first try at fiction in many years. Don't hate it because of JJ. I kinda like him, we all have a little bit of JJ in us.

This talks place after season 4, and Lara never was.

Emily

"I just don't think he is ready to try something like this Emily"

I tried not to look exasperated or roll my eyes at the response, the same response I had been getting for the last hour. I was beginning to wonder if Cecilia got locked on the same way JJ did. I could understand a mother wanting to protect her child, but he can't live under her wing forever.

I could still picture the look on JJ's face as Naomi and I shared our adventures abroad. It was a mix of hurt and longing that once again he was not doing what normal people did. I then had to go and make a mess of it by suggesting he try a short holiday on his own. And if that wasn't bad enough now I am here pleading his case to his mother.

"I will be..." I started again only to be interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.

"Hi mum, I am home. Emily?..." he paused as he entered the lounge and saw me sitting in the front room with his mother. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just talking to your mum about you taking a holiday." I regretted the words as they came out of my mouth.

"Why? I told you I had asked her already" his voice rising in intensity and volume with every word. "You didn't believe me? that I could even do that!"

I could feel the storm in JJ building and the look in Cecilia's eyes told me this would be a big one. I stood and turned to face JJ taking his hands looking up into his face. I spoke in a calm quite voice "JJ, eyes." His eyes met mine and I looked into them, not judging, just letting him know that his next words were being acknowledged.

JJ took a big breath and let it out slowly. Without looking away, in a very quiet voice "I already asked her." He slipped his hands out of mine and looking over at Cecilia, still in a quiet meek voice "I am going to my room," turned and went up the stairs and softly shut his door.

From behind me I could hear Cecilia in a soft halting voice "I'll think about it." She paused and then continued after a very deep breath, "You know you mean a lot to him."

"We are just friends," I replied without turning around. I wasn't sure I could face her after the exchange with JJ.

"Not to him. Please be careful."

JJ

How can it be so hard to be normal? Starring at my chart is not solving the puzzle, it never seems to. My eyes follows the now broken friendship line to Freddie. It not that he is no longer my friend, but if he is never coming back how can he still be my friend?

Freddie's memorial was wrong. How can saying good-by be right. Everyone was there for someone else. I was there for Freddie, or that's how mum explained it, and I guess Effy and Katie were there for him also. Pandora was there for Effy, and Thomas was there for Panda and Katie. No one was there for me. Not that I expected anyone to be. Emily and Naomi were still on their trip. It would have been nice if Emily could have been there. And when it was over Effy came over and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. It was cold, like the interaction you would have with a relative you have never met. You don't want a hug or a kiss her from them, but accepting it is expected of you. And when everyone walked away I couldn't... I couldn't walk away. I couldn't say good-by.

I wish Cook had been there. 'Where are you?' was written next to his name on the chart. No one had seen or heard from him. He would have known how to say good-by to Freddie. He would have helped me say good-by.

There is a knock at the door and Emily asks to come in. I wonder what took her so long. "It is open."

Emily opens the door just enough to slip into the room closing it behind her. She crosses the room and sits next to me, but not too close, on the edge of the bed, joining me in staring at the chart. I look at her name on the chart. The lines between her and Naomi and myself. "Do I have it right, we are friends?"

"Yes JJ I hope we are."

"And that you love Naomi? Because you told her and all of us you did."

"Yes I love Naomi."

"And because you love Naomi you can't love me. Just like Effy could only love Freddie, Cook or I but not all of us."

"It's kind of like that. But you are a still a special friend. You understand what it is like to be different. Your the first person I told that I am gay. That means I trust you to accept me and not judge, or make fun.

"JJ, I am sorry I didn't accept that you had talked to you mother. I asked you to accept me and then brake that trust with you. Please forgive me, I just wanted her to know that it was important to you and that I would be-"

"There to take care of me. Like you did in the lounge?"

"No. To help you if you needed it. To be your friend."

"Maybe I shouldn't have showed you how to help me regain control."

" I am glad you did. It make me feel honored that you trust me that much."

"Do you think Naomi likes me?"

"Yes."

"Do you think she is jealous. I don't think I want to know the answer to that, it might change how I act around her."

We both sit there for a long silent moment. Emily stands and faces me. "I need to go, we will talk more later. You mother said she would think about the trip."

I look up and into her eyes, "I need to think about it too."

Emily

I climbed the steps up to the front door and took a deep breath before putting the key in the lock. This shouldn't be any harder then the last two conversations, yet this one I was dreading. I stepped inside and was greeted by music and the smells of a meal being prepared. "Hi Naoms, I'm home," I called over the dance track filling the house. Home, it still felt a little funny to say that. Naomi and I had a long sit down with Gina and she made it clear that not only were we welcome to live there but she was happy to have us. BUT there were conditions, we had to help with the chores, contribute to the food bill, and no more house damaging parties or police raids.

"Great timing, food will be ready in about 10 minutes." The blue eyes and the big smile waiting for me at the doorway to kitchen were hard not to smile back at, and even harder not to hug. I gave in to both. The hug lead to a kiss which lead to a bigger hug and a bigger kiss. "Mum called, she and Kieran are spending another night at the beach, so it just the two of us tonight."

"And what did you have planed?"

"Well the band canceled so our house party is off," she said with a mischievous smile. "So I guess we could just stay in and watch a movie."

"And cuddle on the couch?"

"If you insist."

"I do!"

"Good! Come on and help me before dinner burns." She broke from the hug and lead me by the hand into the kitchen. The sight earned her another long deep kiss. The table had been set for a romantic dinner complete with candles. "Keep that up Em and dinner will burn. Now go wash up."

When I returned the dance track had been replaced with something more fitting to a dimly lit restaurant. All was smiles giggles, and innuendos until about half way through the meal when the question I was dreading arrived. "Where were you off to this afternoon?"

Looking down at my plate "I went to see JJ's mom."

Naomi set down her fork and stared at me with those lovely blue eyes, but there was no smile this time. "Why Emily? Can't you leave it alone?"

"I just wanted to explain how important this is to him."

"Why do you need to be the one to drag him into the big bad world? Are you trying to be his mother or his girlfriend?"

"That's not fair. I'm his friend. I am your girlfriend."

"No this is not fair. If I am your girlfriend then take my feeling into account. If you need a hobby we can get you a cat to raise. But let JJ live his life. You live ours." She paused for a moment and when I did not respond, stood up from the table. "I am going to lie down, take care of the dishes."

"What about the movie?"

"Not tonight, I'm tired"

Doing the dishes alone gives you lots of time to think. Naomi had become a good cook, and she was also very good at making a mess. No doubt playing in the water had been part of the night's planed entertainment. Now it only served to keep me in another part of the house. JJ was right she is jealous. And all I am doing is stressing JJ and hurting the person I love.

I stacked the last dish to dry and went to put the leftovers in the frig, where I found dessert. Strawberries and freshly made whip cream. I wiped away the tear that was starting to form and taking the dish of berries shut off the lights and went up to our room. The room was dark, from the street light shining in the window I could make out Naomi laying on top of the covers with her back to the door.

I crossed the room caring the dish and knelt next to the bed. "The most amazing person I know made the most amazing berries and cream, and I being the most amazing arse spoiled the evening before she could surprise me with them. And all I want to do is crawl in bed and hold my girlfriend and tell her how sorry I am and how I will never take her feeling for granted again."

The voice from the other side of the bed had that choked up sound of someone who had been crying. "You got it mostly right, the berries came out pretty well, and you do have an amazing arse. But I am not such an amazing person, I got jealous of you trying to help a friend." She rolled over to face me and looked deep into my eyes. "It could have been anyone else and I would have been fine. But it was him, he is so alone, and you have a history... a history with him"

"Naomi, I can assure you I have no desire to be with him, ever. But if you will allow me into our bed I will show you all the things I want to do with you, none of which I would ever do with a boy." I was rewarded with a shy little smile that melted my heart and turned me on all at once. "But one more thing, no cat. I would be so jealous if it liked you more."

For that bit of cheekiness I received a face full of whip cream. Before I could complain Naomi started to clean my face, licking and kissing her way through the cream.

This was going to be something longer, but I think it works as a one shot. Opinions?