Chapter 1

Breathe with me

"Wise men say

only fools rush in."

It's been a month since he came out of the ice. No, he didn't come out, they took him out. But Steve Rogers doesn't feel alive; the world has changed and even though it seems like it's glad to welcome Captain America back, Steve is not sure if he wants to become him again. His home is lost, buried in the past and he doesn't know if he can find it in this new and strange world.

He knows a few people from this century; Nick Fury, the man who brought him back and gave him and apartment inside SHIELD's building (that sometimes feels more like a prison), and Natasha Romanoff, the first agent that was assigned to keep an eye on him. Steve still doesn't trust Fury that much, but she… she's like his first friend from the 21st.

Natasha is the one that suggests him to make a list of things he has missed those 70 years he was asleep. They start to watch movies and series she thinks are essential for him to know more about the world he's in. And after a few weeks, she gives him a phone with all the songs he has to listen.

It's why that very morning, he decides to take his phone and listen to Elvis while he goes for a run. The thing is Steve normally has good days; he has learned to cope with his loneliness and the constant feeling of being out of place… but sometimes he's overwhelmed by all of them and sadly he doesn't know that day would be one of them.

He's close to a library when he feels it: his chest is tight, like something heavy has just landed on it. He looks around, but the faces he sees are empty; they're not his people, his people are dead and he should be dead with them. He doesn't belong among them. He's a fool; of course he will never find a home in there.

Steve starts running. He's desperate; he's drowning, he wants to get out. No. He wants to come back to the ice.

Luckily, people are smart and they stay out of his way as much as they can. He doesn't want to hurt them, but the urge to escape is stronger than everything else. His vision becomes blurry… He collides with something and falls to the ground. He can't breathe and his muscles don't seem to work properly either… Steve begins to panic, but then, among all the noise on the street, Elvis voice in his ears and his own breathing, he can hear words in a deep soft voice close to him.

Someone has kneeled beside him.

"Are you okay?"

Steve feels kind hands on his face, out of instinct, his body reacts to them and his face leans up. The world doesn't look hazy anymore; his eyes focus on the fingers on his skin; one of the hands that's holding him is warm and soft, but the other one feels cold… and he notices it's made of metal… He's confused again; his mind is taking him back to that dark place…

"Hey, look at me. Just look at me." The voice is mild, so calm that Steve can't help but listen to it.

So he finally looks up. Steve stares at the man that's looking back at him. But it's not just an ordinary man; it's the most gorgeous man he has ever seen. His brown hair is gathered into a ponytail, but there are a few hairs falling over his face. Steve feels a desperate need to draw him and his eyes look at him like they want to memorize all the details of his face. He notices the stubble and before he can stop himself, his hand reaches out and touches it.

The man smiles at him and Steve's heart does a funny thing inside his chest. A warm shiver passes through his body. Just then he decides to look at his eyes, they're green and bright; there's a mesmerizing sparkle dancing in them.

And Steve feels it; it's like a pull, something that's dragging him close to the man.

He feels at home.

"Breathe with me," he says and Steve does.

He'd do anything that man asks him to. That's when he realizes he's in trouble.

Bucky blames his bad luck; he's going to be late for work, his boss is gonna kill him this time and the mass of muscle he bumped into a few seconds ago turned out to be a really hot guy who's having a panic attack. He tries not to be distracted by the blond hair, those beautiful blue eyes or the hand that's touching his chin at the moment. He instructs the guy to breathe with him and when he's relaxed, Bucky decides to try to speak again.

"You're safe," he assures him and smiles when the guy nods. Bucky decides he can move again and stands up. He offers his hand to the man.

But the guy just looks at him dumbstruck; he blinks while staring at his hand and then at his face like there's a battle in his head. Bucky resists the temptation to look back at his own hand; normally people react like that with the metal one, but the hand reaching out is the flesh one, so he doesn't quite understand why the guy seems so shocked.

He sighs and starts to move when suddenly the man on the ground takes his hand and he lets Bucky help him to stand. The guy grins from ear to ear and looks at him like he won the lottery. There's a sparkle in those blue eyes he just can't decipher. Also the guy doesn't seem to notice he's still holding Bucky's hand. Maybe the man hit his head in the ground too hard or something like that.

"Be careful next time," Bucky blurts out before turning around. He needs to go; he's definitely not gonna arrive on time to work.

The same hand that was holding his seconds ago now takes him by the arm and stops him before he can run away.

"I need your name," the guy says and blushes an adorable shade of red. "I mean… you didn't tell me… I just want to know."

"My name's James Buchanan Barnes, but my friends call me Bucky," he says. He doesn't bother to ask for the guy's name because he knows is the last time he's gonna see him. Guys like him, beautiful, kind and noble don't want broken and fucked up men like Bucky. Not as friends, not as partners… they just don't.

The guy seems like he wants to say something more, but Bucky speaks before, "I'm sorry, but I really have to go." And then he runs away.

Nat realizes the moment Steve opens the door and invites her in that something has changed. She watches him return to the kitchen while humming a song she thinks she recognizes… but she's too distracted by the big grin on Steve's face to try to focus on it.

"Okay, spit it out," she urges. The man looks at her with a confused expression on his face and she rolls her eyes.

"What do you mean?" Steve asks and he looks truly lost.

"You have this dumb smile on your face," she points out and enjoys when the man's face turns a beautiful shade of pink. "Clearly something happened to you and I want to know."

"Nothing happened," he clears his throat.

"Rogers, we both know you're a terrible liar," Nat reminds him and her tone is softer now. "Besides I've never seen you smile so bright in all the time we've known each other."

Steve blushes even deeper at that and bites his lip.

"Fine," he sighs. "I'll tell you because I trust you, but also because I need a favor."

"You just have to ask, you know." Nat winks at him and waits for him to sit on the couch in front of her.

"I met someone this morning," he says. "But I just… I didn't have the time to ask for his number… I just know his name."

"So it's a he then," Natasha comments, smirking at him.

"I want to know more about him…" he continues, ignoring her.

"So you want me to look for his public records and tell you about his past. That'd be easy, don't worry."

"No! I didn't mean it like that!" Steve replies; he seems alarmed. "I need to see him again. I just want to know where he works and maybe his phone number too," he adds and looks a little bit ashamed, like he's doing something wrong.

"Consider it done," she promises, but makes a mental note to do delve even more just in case. "Well… what's your boyfriend's name?"

Steve frowns at her in response, but it's too late: she has seen the pleased gleam in his eyes. The captain really wants that guy.

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Yet."

"I don't even know him…"

"Oh, but you want to know him better, don't you? I can see that–"

"Romanoff," he warns; he's still frowning and Nat is kind enough not to laugh again in front of him, but it's really difficult because Steve is all red and flustered and he looks adorable.

"Okay, I won't tease you anymore, I promise," she says, well… for now. "So… the name. I need it in order to look for information."

"James Buchanan Barnes," Nat can see the way Steve's trying not to let the grin appear on his face again. "Bucky's his nickname." He can't help it and smiles at her when he says it and Natasha knows the captain's completely lost. He's so far gone.

It's not that difficult for her to keep a straight face while she listens Steve talk about the guy, her training helps her not to let the emotions to show up on her face; she knows everything she needs about the guy already, because Bucky Barnes is also her friend. But Steve Rogers doesn't know that and she wants to keep it that way for now.

It's gonna be fun.