Today marks my tenth anniversary of my first story posted here at and to celebrate, I've decided to start posting this rather ambition project. I got the idea a few years ago, back when Skippy's List was so popular and spawning a lot of fics in that vein. As usual, I looked at them and said I could do better. (Also as usual, it took me forever to actually start to try to prove it.) Whether this is better or not is completely debatable, but at least I can argue that this is different than most of them. I'm going to post as often as I can, but since the chapters act largely as independent stories, hopefully the breaks between updates won't throw you off terribly.

We'll see how well that goes.

After seven years, McGonagall is just about ready to give up. None of her punishments have deterred James, Sirius, Remus or Peter from continuing to break the rules and generally cause mayhem wherever they can. To keep them out of her hair at least until the NEWTs get underway, she's had to resort to this: making them write out a list of all the things they are no longer allowed to do at Hogwarts. Too bad they've dragged Lily along…

Detention!
Or, Things I am No Longer Allowed to do at Hogwarts

"Detention!"

It was one word, but the way that McGonagall barked out each syllable made it sound like three.

The five recipients reacted to it much the way that one would expect them to—at least, if one had the first idea of who they were. Certainly, the head of the first figure hanging in shame was to be expected, as was the shoulders of the second slouching in protective terror. Even the eyes of the lone female closed to stoically accept fate didn't seem too far out of place. The twin looks of scarcely concealed laughter of the remaining two were unusual, however, and might have done something to intensify McGonagall's wrath.

"I can't believe you got me into this," Lily moaned when the Saturday night actually rolled around and she, along with the others, began drudging down to their detention.

"I can't believe you're still harping on the fact that you volunteered to help us and paid the price, along with us, when you were caught," Sirius shot back. "I mean, we got this detention on Wednesday and you haven't shut up about it once."

"It's just detention," James said. He trotted up so that he was apace of his girlfriend and tried to throw an arm around her shoulder to rub it soothingly. Lily pushed him off.

"It isn't just detention," Lily said, completely ignoring Sirius' loud groan and the "Here she goes again!" he said quite loudly.

Remus stepped in to defuse the situation. "Everyone gets detention from time to time, Lily," he said, trying to sound as reasonable as possible. "Everyone. Even you've got it in the past, once or twice."

"But I wasn't Head Girl at the time," Lily protested. "Now I am. I'm supposed to set an example for the rest of the school. I'm not supposed to get caught breaking the rules, especially not so big a one and especially especially not so publicly."

"And now the world is going to end because Evans was proven that she isn't perfect."

"Sirius, you aren't helping," Remus muttered.

"I'm supposed to be helping?" Sirius asked.

"It won't be so bad, L--er. It's not that bad," Peter said, tripping over Lily's name as he so often did. He could never decide whose example he was supposed to be following and calling her by her given name or her surname and usually avoided calling her anything, just to be safe. (The last time he'd called her "Lily" Sirius went on about him fancying her until James had to punch him to get him to shut up. The last time he'd called her "Evans" James had hexed him for disrespecting his girlfriend.) "McGonagall doesn't do bad detentions. She's not like Filch. Just be glad we weren't caught by Filch, because that would be scary."

"You're not helping either," Lily said shortly.

Sirius said, "Can't win with her, can you?" He nudged James, who was always good for defending his girlfriend's honour, but before James was able to do anything, McGonagall stepped out into the hall. She didn't check her watch or clear her throat, but it still caused Lily, Remus and Peter at least into hurrying the rest of the way down the hall and into the classroom. Sirius and James continued to saunter casually, James nodding his head at their teacher and Sirius winking as he passed.

However, their jaunty attitude was not so easily maintained once they heard McGonagall's proposed punishment.

"What?" James asked blankly.

"You're kidding!" exclaimed Sirius.

"Even me?" Lily was in denial.

"Everything?" Peter asked, a little worriedly.

"This is going to be a long night," Remus prophesized.

McGonagall gave them a fearsome stare that stopped further grumblings.

"A long night it might be, Lupin, but you will continue until you're finished. And yes, I want to know everything, Pettigrew. You were involved, Miss Evans, I can hardly excuse you from the punishment. I assure I am not kidding, Black. And Potter, I believe you heard me. I don't think I need to repeat myself."

She held their gazes for half a minute longer, pausing to see if there would be any further protests. When there wasn't, she nodded slightly, satisfied.

"I will be back in a couple of hours to check on your progress. If you don't finish tonight… your NEWTS aren't for another week. There are plenty of evenings for you to continue this exercise. Are we clear?"

All five of them thoroughly cowed—even the boys who were used to McGonagall's stern voice—they each nodded or mumbled something in the vein of "Yes, Professor." McGonagall nodded once more, sharply, and then took her leave.

They waited until the last echo of her footsteps had faded into nothing before they started to breathe again.

"She's mad," James said a minute after that, having had time to think the matter through.

"James!" Lily chastised him.

"Oh, like you're not thinking it, too," James said.

"I would never think that," Lily said automatically. James didn't look convinced.

"Mad or no—" Lily looked slightly scandalized that Remus was even entertaining the idea that McGonagall was crazy for assigning this punishment—"it's not going to be the easiest detention we've carried out."

"I don't know," Sirius said. "It beats cleaning up the hippogriff pen without using magic."

"Again," Peter added, shuddering slightly in recollection.

"You're right; it could be worse," Remus now agreed, also lost in the memory.

"At least between the four of us, that was done in an hour," James complained. "It wasn't my favourite detention, but at least we were done with it quickly."

"I'm sure you deserved it," Lily said, rather viciously. "I'm sure you deserved all of it. Your favourite detention? How can you talk about that—how can any reasonable person talk about that? That's why we're stuck doing this, isn't it? Because you've broken so many rules over the years, that's why."

"In our defence, they weren't always rules before we got in trouble. Off the top of my head I can think of—oh, at least two occasions that the rules were amended after the fact."

The glare Lily levelled at Sirius meant she didn't believe that was a good excuse.

"You deserve this, all of you. Professor McGonagall is right. Nothing else has done a single thing to even slow you boys done. I can only hope that seeing the sheer mass of rules you've broken will be enough to finally make you lot realize just how destructive and detrimental and… and… wrong you are!"

"I'm telling you, we don't always break the rules." Sirius snapped his fingers. "I just remembered a third time that we were punished pre-emptively. Who would have thought that bowtruckles would have reacted so violently to enchanted candles?"

James was staring hopelessly at his girlfriend. He'd started to cringe when she began her rant, and each sentence only caused him to hunch his shoulders even further, as if to protect himself from the vitriol.

"But… writing down everything we've been forbidden from doing at Hogwarts?" he said, addressing Lily's comment rather than Sirius' smart remark. "Don't you agree that's just a tiny bit extreme?"

"No!" said Lily.

"But…" James couldn't give in just yet; it was that stubbornness that had got them into trouble in the first place. "Everything we've done? All of it? Everything last rule broken? Every time we've got yelled at?"

"We're going to be at it all night." Peter had no choice but to agree. He looked incredibly worried by the prospect.

"Good!" Lily said, rather vehemently. "It's no more than you deserve."

"You too," Sirius said mildly.

"Don't even think about comparing yourself to me. Don't even think!" Lily shook a finger at him, warningly.

"Only, you have detention, too," Sirius said. "McGonagall thought you would benefit from a close examination of all those things you've done over the years at Hogwarts that you have subsequently been forbidden from repeating. In this matter, you're as bad as us, Evans. Aren't you forgetting that?"

Lily deflated as she suddenly remembered that she was included in the punishment. James rubbed soothing circles over her back.

"Don't worry, Lily," he said. "I'll help. After all, you wouldn't have been here if I hadn't asked for your help."

That didn't cheer her up as much as he'd meant it to. "Oh God," Lily moaned.

Remus agreed. "This is going to be a long night."