AN: I do not own Supernatural. If I did, Gabriel would be a major character.
September 2nd
Six months of torture have passed. Gabriel has done nothing, other than search for Sam. He doesn't understand what's wrong. As an archangel, it should have been easy for him to find Sam's soul and bring him back. It shouldn't have taken more than a day or at the very most two. And it most definitely shouldn't have taken six months. Gabriel knows he is falling apart because of his loss.
Something is blocking Sam's soul's location from him. Gabriel is sure of it. The major question is: who. What creature has enough power to do this!? No angel other than another archangel should be able to hide Sam from him and he had checked with all of his brothers including Lucifer. None of them has Sam. So where is he?
Gabriel understands Sam more now. He remembers the day he first saw Sam, the brokenness in his eyes and soul. Gabriel hadn't understood then how he could feel that way. Okay sonhis boyfriend died. So what? Sam should have just moved on and started over. Now he gets it. There is no starting over. There's no going back. There is only pain and a black abyss of pain and sorrow that is so devastating it renders the one bearing it to a shaking mess on the ground. It reduces its prey to a wounded animal that digs itself into a hole and tries to hide from the world and the pain within the world.
Why the fuck did he in love with Sam? Why did he choose to love someone at all? Oh, who the hell is he kidding anyway. Gabriel never chose to love Sam; he just did. And now Sam is gone! He has left Gabriel as a broken shell that isn't going to survive for much longer!
Gabriel just doesn't want to live anymore. He can't survive life without his moose. Instead of giving up on though, Gabriel has thrown himself into his relentless search for Sam's soul. It's all he does. He doesn't ever rest.
Every time he closes his eyes, he sees Sam. His Sam telling him to let him go. Sam lying in his arms covered in burns. Sam drawing a last breath. Sam dying and leaving Gabriel. Gabriel feels tears on his face and he struggles to continue to breathe. The pain in his heart is almost unbearable. It's like a crushing weight against his chest.
Gabriel thinks of little else than Sam. He wants to hold him tight, to cuddle, and to kiss him. He would love to hear that voice and see those eyes. Those eyes that always gazed at him with love, understanding, acceptance, and pride. It kills him inside to be away from Sam. Everything he sees reminds him of Sam.
Gabriel sits on the ground deep in the woods. He hugs himself and wishes that he could keep himself whole. But he knows he will never be able to feel whole again without Sam. Crying Gabriel rests for a short while before he begins to search for Sam again.