Kate sat curled up in an arm chair near the window, her knees drawn up into the man's dress shirt she wore. The shirt that still smelled faintly of his cologne. Rain fell outside, the droplets making their slow descent down the glass pane as she gently ran her finger across the words of the book she held on her lap. She was restless and had left the warmth of the bed, his bed, so that she wouldn't wake him. Closing his book, she turned it over and looked at the picture on the back. Tracing her finger along his jawline, it was a face she knew long before she knew the man A face that maybe she had even fantasized about meeting a time or two... possibly more. But even after that fateful meeting, at least for short period of time, he was just a guy she was attracted to. Who, if he would have stopped annoying her for long enough, a guy she would have been more than willing to add to her list of brief affairs. But it hadn't taken her long to realize that that wasn't an option. Not with him. Richard Castle didn't fit into her 'keep one foot out the door' love life. He would be all or he would be nothing. She was a brave woman in almost all aspects of her life, but this, this fear of all, this risk of vulnerability, of giving her heart to him completely- it held her back. It kept them at arms length. It broke their hearts.
Until tonight. Tonight she realized the only thing that scared her more than being with him, was being without him. And she took that leap. That leap that would change everything. And thank God that after everything, everything they had put each other through, he was still willing to catch her.
Setting down the book, she turned to look at him, his body sprawled out, entangled in the sheets of the bed they had shared. A smile played at her lips as she took in his tousled hair. His broad back rising and falling rhythmically. She let her eyes drift down the curves of his body. He was completely naked, with the exception of one sock. One sock that, somehow during the frenzied battle to get each others clothes off, had been overlooked. She covered her mouth to stifle a laugh. But the laugh quickly changed to something else, something deeper and something unexpected. A well of emotion filled her as the realization struck her hard.
Her odd sock.
Had it been her term that he had used for his book or had it been his invention? She couldn't even remember anymore. When had their lives become so intermingled? The odd sock... the one thing that seemingly didn't fit. The one thing that in the end could lead you to your answers. The one thing that could get you to where you needed to be.
It had been right in front of her. His words mixed with anger and pain came back to her. He had been right here, everyday for four years. She just needed to open her eyes to see it. Her perfectly controlled and orderly life had been upended the moment he entered it. Fighting the inevitable had done nothing but hurt them both.
There was still so much to deal with- her brush with death, her job, the threat that still hung over her and the three words she had yet to speak. Words she needed to give him, as much as he needed to hear them. Maybe even more.
Silently she rose and crossed the room, slowly unbuttoning her shirt as she walked. Letting it slide down her shoulders and pool at her feet before crawling back into his bed. No more hiding, no more wasted time. This time she would risk all. This time she was all in.