Disclaimer: Nick and Craig Bartlott own Hey Arnold!
Post FTI, after The Jungle Movie and after The Patakis!
Hey Arnold: Stalker in the Shadows
Chapter I: Always there
"6.346 days... 2 hours... 37 minutes... 46 seconds... my inner clock counts. Every each and one Minute I was in love with that stupid football head. My secret volumes of poem books now fill a whole second room and my secret shrine is still there. Why oh why Arnold cant you see whats right in front of you? Why do you just fall for anyone else, when every time I look at your football shaped-head I fall in love again? Oh Angel what should I do, my heart is torn apart when I'm not with you !" right then Helga's monologue paused for a moment, she thought about her last sentence once again.
"Thats a good starter Ill write it down!" the pigtailed teenager told herself, grabbed one of her poem books out of her shelf and started writing in her bed. Flipping back and staring to the ceiling the girl thought about her love again. What was he doing right now, was he still asleep, was he awake, getting ready for school? Was the sun shining to his roof enlightening his weird but lovable head even more?
But if he was the light, what was she on the other side? Was she a lurking shadow, a wraith in the night? Like the morning mist out of the underground or from side streets she was everywhere and nowhere to be near him, see him, taste the sent of his shampoo, of his deodorant of his sweating clothes when he showered in the high school after football practise or at his home outside of his room. Sometimes she loved to break into the bordering house when he was not there, loved to lay in his bed and breathing his scent out of every corner of his room. When she clothed here eyes then it was like if he was right there, right next to her and that was more than enough for more than one teenage fantasy of her.
She loved when she could her the water running down the walls in the old bordering house when she knows he was showering downstairs, she loved to collect hings he tossed away, whether they were garbage or not, because for her everything he ever touched was something special. Of course she didn't collect his used gum anymore, at least not in places Bob or Miriam could find them.
Sometimes she caught herself stealing things from his room, a shirt or a sock and then she hugged these thing tightly at night when she sleeped to have something from him near to her. For Helga everything in her teenage life was the pure horror, sure Bob know her name now, Miriam was sober and her school grades where good but all that stuff didn't matter for her. It was like the world was an old Movie, all in black and white and the minute she saw his adorable smile a flash of colours was storming over it all, like he was some kind of magician or god, that tossed the grey clouds away just by waving his hand to a greeting.
It couldn't be insane to wish for love, to wish for the right, the one and true love, even Olga found someone she seamed happy with and Geraldo was dating her best friend Phoebe. Damn nearly everyone in that damn high school seams to date someone, even Rhonda and Wolfgang had found someone to match their personality, so why not she herself Helga questioned once again.
Suddenly her Alarm went on and the Hellgirl realised that time was once against her this morning, she had daydreamed nearly and hour about her beloved and school was starting soon. Grabbing some clothes from the ground and rushing out of her room, Helga headed towards the bathroom, that was now already occupied from Bob. Looking at her watch, Helga knocked on the looked door and snapped:
"Crimeny Bob, Im late for school for gods sake!" she told her father.
"Yeah, yeah Im finished any minute Helga!" Bob told her trough the door, loudly but not really shouting.
"Any minute Helga, any minute!" she mimicries his voice while rolling her eyes. She didn't have time for this, normally she was already on the bus driving to Arnold's and watching him getting ready for school or leaving the house for the bus or Gerald's car. Over the years Helga hat gotten good in stalking and sport, outrunning the bus to arrive at school to watch him coming was easy. Going on the same bus was even better, but following Geraldo's car was impossible even over the sideways. Even her beloved Arnold always told Gerald how dangerous fast driving was and Phoebe agreed when they argue outside of the car. It was clear that tall-hearboy wanted to impress his little girl by doing so but it was stupid. And yet, how Helga wished Arnold would do something like that for her even if it was only half as crazy or stupid, heck even if it wasn't crazy or stupid at all she would love it for sure.
Thanks to Bob she had no time to get all ready or she would be late once again, not for school but to admire Arnold from afar. Sniffing under her arm she grabbed deodorant from her desk, that had to do it for now. She also has not washed her hair or shaved her legs today. Then again no one would really see much of her pigtails under her beanie and the jeans covered her unshaved legs everyday anyway, so what the heck. Grabbing her backpack and Rollerblades Helga jumped down the stairs and headed outside, no time for food preparing, after all Arnold was all he needed to survive the day.
Pulling her headphones up and her Rollerblades on she know she still could make it in time for school and maybe, just maybe see a little bit of Arnoldo before he enters the building. Of course they hat the same class after she manipulates a few papers at night in the office room of the principle, but staring at Arnold in every class was not an option. People like some of their old classmates could get suspicious so she just eyed him once or twice each class even if she wanted to stare at his perfect silhouette for as long as she could. Nearly hit by a few cars Helga managed to get to school before the bell rang, skating down the hallway and passing one of her teachers.
"Young lady, you will get deten !" tion for that, the teacher wanted to say as she skated near him, but she was already in another hallway of Hillwood High before he could even recognise her in the last running students heading for their class. Finally room 58 came in sight and Helga slipped in, stormed to her place and finally flipped the rollers from her boots. The look over to her classmates, especially Arnold let her beating heard no rest, but calmed it down a little bit.
"Whats the hurry Pataki?" Gerald asked interested, he had watch her hurry to class, nearly out of breath like every other of their classmates too. Arnold looked at her too, clearly worrying if something was wrong, so she shoot him an angry glare and gave him a scroll.
Why Arnold why cant you see past my rough exterior, look deep inside my love and you will find what you where always looking for her inner voice told Helga. Yeah right genius tell it to me and not to him Helga told herself as she realised she was still looking towards Gerald without answering. Slapping herself across her face she shacked her head.
"None of your beeswax Geraldo now move on to your lover-boy!" Helga smirked at her bad words as Gerald gave up and turned around angrily. Arnold shook his head in disbelief and once again turned to Gerald himself, who was whispering to his best friend what her problem would be. Yeah Geraldo whats my problem, am I secretly and totally gaga, head over heels, , over the moon, in love with your best friend. Yeah thats right idiot look at me, figure it out tell him make my life a miserable hell when he rejects me.
"Clearly man I cant just see what her problem is?" Gerald told him whispering and Arnold the charming, caring angel that he was just answered: "Im sure she is just having a bad morning!"
How on earth can one human being be so caring, so lovable so perfect Helga asked herself. While Arnold and Gerald started chatting like the others she drifted off to a dreamland, where everything was good and right in her way. The one and only place she and Arnold ever have been together for good. Their little dating before he moved to San Lorenzo was great but now Helga was sure it never meant anything to him it was all just to get over another girl. Why else would they break up after one year, clearly it wasn't all because of his parents and his wish to live with them. They could have stayed connected if he wanted to, she always wanted it anyway.
The morning was typical for her, ignoring the teachers and mostly concentrating about her own world, the world where Arnold loved her back, Helga spaced out a few times during he classes. Just sport in the gym got her full attention, seeing Arnold running down the hall in his short sports-dress was nearly too much for her how she loved to look at any curve of his body, from his head to his feet. Hadn't she learned to control her behavior, her deepest feelings so good Helge would start drooling by the wonderful look he gave towards her. Sometimes she saw him smiling at the bench where everyone sat, clearly not directed to her, that was wishful thinking but still that smile couldve melted her away. During recess she realised she had followed him to his table with her tablet, to hide her Zombie-Mode she quick walked past Arnold and Gerald as they sat down. One table behind them she sat herself down for lunch, waiting in a perfect spot to eye him whenever she took a bite of her meal from this position.
"Helga why dont you come over here!" Phoebe asked her best friend as she sat down next to her boyfriend Gerald. That tricky girl Helga thought, clearly she just wanted her to avoid Arnold from Gerald by talking to him, so the two of them could have more private talks together. On the other hand the little japanese teenager was brilliant enough to force her to talk to Arnold because she know what Helga felt and wanted her to come out of her shell. No such luck today Pheebs the Hellgirl thought, but set next to Arnold across Gerald and her best friend anyway.
"Hey Helga!" Arnold greeted friendly, while Gerald just mumbled a short "Pataki!" to greet her. The four of them were hanging out more often now that Gerald and Pheebs became a pair, but that didn't make Helga's Dilemma easier.
"Football Head, Tall Hair Boy, Pheebs!" Helga greeted as calmly and concentrated as she could. Arnold smiled one of his smiles and started to talk to Helga while Gerald and Phoebe were clearly distracted by flirting with each other. While looking at his perfect shaped head Helga wanted nothing more than to pin Arnold to the table and make out like there was no tomorrow. Was it hormones, sure it was too but hormones didn't start with tree years, also puberty didn't help to calm her down, instead she was now fantasizing about thing with Arnold she had never thought about before in that way.
" whats your opinion Helga?" the football headed boy asked as the Hellgirl finally realised that he was talking to her.
"I I !" she tried to come up with something but clearly didn't pay enough attention to even have a small idea what he was talking about. While searching for the right idea she looked over to their best friends who started kissing. Right like the idea of kissing could help her little Problem with Arnoldo over here, instead it even made it harder to concentrate as she imagined their best friends as themselves.
"Crimeny you two, rent a room!" she shouted annoyed towards Gerald who pulled away from Phoebe with a loud smack, while Arnold started laughing at the whole scene. Gerald and Phoebe on the other hand looked embarrassed, clearly they have been carried away.
"Yeah anyway I have forgotten my sport-bag I just remembered, see you around Phoebe. My main man, Pataki!" Gerald told them, rubbing his neck nervous as he stood up and left in a hurry after he disband.
"On a second thought I forget something at my looker too!" Pheebs realised out of nowhere and then hurried out of the cafeteria herself. Arnold looked a little irritated and questioned to the places their best friends sat just minutes ago.
"They sure get forgetful late!" the football headed boy said and with that I couldn't stop myself from laughing like a maniac. Was he really that dense most of the time I asked myself.
"Poor dense football head, its obvious they are heading towards the toilets for a wild make-out session!" and with that Helga grinned evilly for exposing Geralds and Pheebs plans.
"Please Helga I thing our friends have more class than to make out on a school toilet of all places!" Arnold told her and shake from the picture of their school toilets in his head. Helga meanwhile was getting more exited and nervous every second, now that she and Arnold where alone at the table. And the idea of guiding this conversation towards teenage make-out places was even making things more awkward and scary for her even if she was known as the tough and bad girl around school.
"Whatever lemon head, maybe its their hormones who knows? If you would excuse me, I'm have to go to the toilets!" the blond girl lied to have an excuse to avoid her beloved for the rest of recess. She just knew that when she was staying things would head-en up, at least in her mind. And then finally she would snap once and for all grabbing him by his collar and doing things she never could take back. So she decided to leave and stood up, as Arnold grabbed her arm and stopped her instantly.
"Helga!" came his more serious, nearly warning voice and she knew that when she turned around to look him in the eyes she would break right now and here in the cafeteria.
"You're not going to spy on them are you?" the dense football head asked all of the sudden and earned a look of disbelieve from Helga. She looked as if he was an Alien from Mars right now, clearly not prepared for such a question.
"Yuk! Arnold whats your problem? The idea of that question alone with their tongue wrestling earlier will give me enough nightmares for the whole week. Seriously I want to puke right now football head!" Helga told him with a grimace as if she was ready to puke over the table right now. Even if I love him with all my heard and admire his concern about me and his friends, what is going wrong in his head sometimes Helga thought disgusted from the image of their best friend making out together. Finally he led her arm go and she made her way out, not looking back afraid he would notice. Once around the corner she could not help but spy back just to see him once again before walking towards her next class.
School went by the next hours and finally the day was over. Arnold, Geraldo and the rest of the boys would head towards the baseball-field for their afternoon training, with Pheebs and other classmates watching them. Helga played too and like school she was good in it, but also like school she showed up to late or tardy. These few hours where the only time she could sneak inside Arnold's room without anyone noticing. The other boarders and his grandparents whoulnt notice her since there were always loud noises in the house. Alone even if just for half an hour in the greatest temple for her beloved god, his room was the light of her day. From the old fire escape over the roof right inside his room was not that hard and whenever he was outside the house without her following she spent her time here. School and friend had already suspected she was in some kind of gang or even on drugs all the times she was here without someone knowing where or what she did in her afternoon. She always told the people to shut up, but the rumors never stopped anyway. That was one of the many reasons she was that sneaky and silent when breaking into his room. With all these rumors who knew if no one of the other teens was spying or stalking her with every move like she did with Arnold. She was sure to have seen Brainy behind a few dumpsters once she turned around as she heard a noise.
His room was like heaven, the skylight filled it with bright light and it always smelled really really good. His closet was wonderful with all that clothes he wear night and day and sometimes she picked her favorite shirts out of it to where them when she wandered around his room. Waring his shirts, laying on his couch or his bed felt like he was there, cuddling with her in his room, it felt perfect for Helga, even if it was just an illusion.
Going through his things she scanned for pictures of other girl he might like, or looked for his diary to know what he was thinking about in the moment. It was the closest way she could think of getting near him and clearly no one was going to be hurt by that Helga believed.
Was it just her, was this normal, was she even caring if it was? Many questions popped up in her mind from time to time, all of them around one person in particular; Arnold. But for how long could this go on how long was it enough to admire him just from afar, when every bone, every muscle inside her wanted to reach out to touch, to embrace him. Sometimes she wished to be just the shadow she felt like all the time, she wished to be his shadow to be true. Following him whenever, wherever he was not just like it was now. Not by day or night she would leave him then and they could be two parts of one unique being like she always wished it to be.
What would she give for him being really here right now, for him being with her? But like all sweet dreams it had to end right now. Clearly sometime someone could just walk into Arnold's room without knocking either his grandma or grandpa while he was not at home, so staying any longer was getting dangerous. Second to that she really wanted to see practise today, most of all see how Arnold was practising, so Helga got up and tossed his clothes away to leave this Temple of Love.
A few blocks away from Arnold's house next to the neighborhood where Hillwood High was the practice took place on the schools own field. Helga had to admit sneaking away from school was way more easier than sneaking back to the field where so many eyes could see her. Hiding behind the bleachers she waited for the right time to join Phoebe on the not so crowded side without anyone noticing. She had to admit she was getting really good at this, even James bound would be proud of her skills.
"Konbanwa Helga!" her petite japanese friend greeted her with her small voice as Helga set down next to her followed by a friendly "Pheebs!" greeting from her. "Where have you been?" Phoebe wanted to know since she missed Helga right after school and once again couldn't reach her at her house.
"I was going for some ice-cream Pheebs!" the pigtailed girl answered her hugging he knees to her body as she watched the game in front of her. Phoebe gave a satisfied smile leaving once again the image in Helga's mind that she knew more than they ever talked about. But when you've been friend with someone as long as Pheebs its like shes a sister, like family I know her inside and outsides and she was even in school smart enough to figure out whom I really meant when I referred to ice-cream. The only question was why she didn't lecture me or calling me insane, since Arnold was at the game all the time. But good little Pheebs didn't seam to notice or ignored the fact and she never bugged me with many questions when I didn't want to open up by myself. Maybe that was why we became best friend in the first, we totally knew when to be there for each other and when the other needed just a little space for himself. It was these magic combination of deep friendship when one could finish each others friendship and thought, something football head was always good at too.
When no one else, even not Pheebs managed to see the darkest and miserable days in my life he always popped u out of nowhere offering a helping hand, a little talk or other stuff like that. As rough as I am sometimes and as tough I wanted to be his do-gooder-stuff when you talk about problems instead of beating someone up seamed to work pretty good to and sometimes his stupid little advices gave m lectures for my life. Im still not sure if my little angel is just listening to his heart and soul when he comes up with stuff like that or if he is just guessing lucky from time to time.
Whatever it was it worked his magic even if she pushed him away from her he never gave up and unknowing to him closet the bound between them to by doing so. And the clother they get, the more they spent time togethr with Geraldo and Pheebs the more harder it gets. Why wasnt he seing that every move he made, every smile he showed her where tearing down her walls of defence. Walls that where there for their own sake, so his rejection of her whouldnt destroy their friendship that had build over the time. First she just pretendet to tolerate him for Pheebs but even as dence as he was, he must know by now that she could stand beeing around him and that she didnt hate it as much as she pretendet once again after he came back from San Lorenzo. Wasnt he realising that he was teasing her emotions and feelings with his actions, wasnt he aware that his shining eeyes where like dagegrs sometimes striking right in her heard and soul.
What was it all those other bimbos had that she doesnt all those puppets he goes crazy over every three month? Was it their good look, their girlish behavior or just the fact that they didnt call him names. Most of those chicks where redheads, so Helga thought about dyeing her hair once or twice but never did it in the end. The same way she wanted to win his heard fair and square the same way she wanted him to love her fo herself. She didnt want to be like one of these make-up dolls with fake extensions, fake hair colour, fake tan, fake friends and their own fake character. Maybe she was hiding her own feelings behind a mask, but most of the people in school where hiding everything else, from their true self to their real dreams. Like string puppets guidet by an invisible hand, weather it was by following the marching feet of the masses without own free will or something else.
"Speaking of ice-cream Pheebs go get us some!" Helga's ordered as she gave her best friend some money from her wallet.
"Getting!" the japanese girl answered in her own unique way and headed over to the Jolly Olly Man at the side of the field, giving helga some extra time for herself to look and thign about her beloved she was secretly staring at right now.
"Speaking of ice-cream Pheebs go get us some!" Helga's ordered as she gave her best friend some money from her wallet.
"Getting!" the Japanese girl answered in her own unique way and headed over to the Jolly Olly Man at the side of the field, giving Helga some extra time for herself to look and thing about her beloved she was secretly staring at right now.
My eyes did that trick again when everything other than Arnoldo wasn't clear in view,like the world around him didn't exist at all. There he was running like an angel would fly, the thought alone made Helga shiver in her seat.
What would it cost to be with him, whatever it was even her soul she would sell it all for him. Maybe she wouldn't sell Pheebs to the devil, but Bob could be a good gift after all his soul was rotten when it comes to business. And hasn't it been for a few years back she would have guessed it was just totally dark, but things lightened p in the family a lot since Miriam wasn't a alcoholic anymore. He was a real version of Tony Soprano with the difference of no humor whatsoever on his side. If she didn't know any better she would say he was a American mobster by the way he did business and the people he met. But then again Bob nearly talked much about business with his family, others than his sentences about how well he had worked that day or everything paid off.
Maybe that was one of the first thinks she ever liked about Arnold, she never wanted her husband and man be like anything that reminds her of Bob. Sure Robert was not at all bad deep down but still an ass in many ways to people outside his family and Arnold was as far opposite to him as God was from the Devil. She needed that as a kid, heck she needed it now to, that kindness and friendship, the help and trust Arnold had in this big bad world even if it disappointed it often or proved him wrong. Like an ancient hero slaying dragons and demons he fought his way to all the bad things, helping these who deserve it. Like her knight in the shining armor he still kept his special smile in the worst situations to lighten people up and Helga was sure his journey would go on until he finally rescued her too, as his damsel in distress.
Finally Pheebs get back with the ice-cream and handed me my portion. As i took the first bite i finally choked from it hearing Pheebs question.
"So how was the ice-cream Helga?" the smaller girl asked shy and silent in her own special way and looked concerned to her best friend.
"Pheebs!" Helga used her Name in shock, still choking on her ice-cream, while Phoeby patted her back to help. "I … I … I really don't know what to thing Pheebs, maybe I'm crazy maybe I need help like Dr. Bliss again!" the pigtailed girl confessed to her friend. Maybe she really needed help, maybe this was all going to far, she knew deep inside that it was tearing her apart, that she couldn't stand this much longer.
"I think your overreacting Helga, as long as no one gets hurt it's just a very unique and special way to express your feelings!" her best friends explained while she adjusted her glasses. Phoebe wanted to know since she missed Helga right after school and once again couldn't reach her at her house.
"Pheebs you don't even know half the things I do!" the Hellgirl said bitterly, nearly having tears in her eyes. To Phoebe it was clear that her best friend was under much stress about the whole situation and that she needed s much comfort and help she could get without letting the world know what she really did when even she didn't know it all.
"There are no animal sacrifices I guess and all the girls ice-cream likes are still alive so I don't see any harm done here!" the small Japanese girl told her friend while Helga was looking wide-eyed in disbelief towards her.
"What?" Helga asked confused, she must have misheard herself.
"I'm just saying that if you don't cross a line where you are hurting yourself or others everything is fine!" Pheebs told me calming me down. Maybe she was right at this but I wasn't sure, some of my own actions even scare myself.
"You really think so?" Helga asked in disbelief.
"Of course!" Phoebe said and hugged her friend to comfort her a little.
"Thanks Phoebe. So what are you doing this evening, want to hang out later?" I asked friendly since I already knew that Arnoldo was spending some time with Geraldo. It was always hard spying on him while he was out with his best friend or the gang so I figured some Phoebe-Helga-Time wouldn't be so bad.
"I'm very sorry Helga but Gerald already invited me to a restaurant!" Phoebe confessed while a red blush appeared on her face.
"Don't worry yourself Pheebs, I'll find other things to do!" and by that I meant spending more time with Arnold. Knowing exactly that a romantic dinner from Geraldo neither includes me or Arnold there must have been a change in plans. For me that meant that Arnold was not spending his time with Gerald and since he was no young man to change his plans fast I just knew he was probably not going to see anyone instead, so it would be easier to stalk the dense boy.
But what was her football headed god doing then, hopefully she wished he would go to a amusement park, or even better find something in this stinking town even she didn't know to do for fun till now. Getting new ideas for great amusement was always a classic and doing it while having Arnold around was even better for her.
After the game Helga and Phoebe chatted a little longer, till Gerald finally picked her up for their evening. She ducked behind a nearly fence, jumping over it like it was nothing, years of practise from stalking and hiding did pay of and the Hellgirl had to admit it was so easy for her to jump or climb walls and roofs it wasn't even funny anymore at all like it had been as a kid.
Seeing Pheebs walking off with chocolate, as she referred to Gerald when they where not alone same way Helga calls Arnold Ice-Cream, Helga gets a little jealous. Not at her best friend and clearly not over Geraldo, but it was an permanent urge to feel miserable any other couple moves by, while she was not with her beloved, her promised, her chosen one. That smell, Arnold was coming so she quickly ducked again behind the fence. The way he walks, the way he talks it was all like some sort of hypnoses like he was doing it on purpose just to drive her crazy and nuts. Deep don she know he wouldn't do something on purpose but she couldn't stop thinking about it when clearly she felt it anytime and he cursed from some bad luck didn't see it at all it seamed.
Waiting for a few students, classmates and friends to pass by she finally followed up after then when she was sure no one would see her. Clearly tall-hearboy had already told him that their plans where cancelled cause he didn't follow Gerald and neither did Arnold head back home Helga realized. The way he drifted trough the town made clear he had no real goal or idea what to do with his evening, but finally Arnold stopped before the theater.
No, please no came a thought to Helga's mind, as he looked through the posters. Clearly he seamed to spot out one of these boring, love movies most girls like so much. Helga just hated them, maybe because they reminded her so much of her own miserable love life, if you could call a never ending crush on Arnold love life.
"One ticked for Heartbreakers Five please!" she told the cashier bitterly who was looking confused at her. Sure not many girls go to a cheesy-movie all alone with a angry face and a bitter mode she guessed. But as she paid the young man didn't seam to care anymore and handed her the ticked. Just in time to see Arnold heading with popcorn and coke to his cinema room- wait what is he doing there? The Hellgirl couldn't believe her eyes as Arnoldo was walking towards "Evil Twin XIV Triplet Twins" instead of "Heartbreakers V". Great so he didn't chose the stupid love film at all Helga rolled her eyes. Quickly buying some food of her own she followed her one true love and sat down a few seats behind him. Far enough so he wouldn't notice her when turning around but near enough to see his silhouette and maybe even hear and smell him a little.
How his golden hair was shining in the dim light, like cornfields in the morning sun. How his slow breath sounded like a calming, warm summer wind. The way his hair smelled like pure bliss, his lips looked like the sweetest fruits. She was a little surprised her beloved boy had not picked out a less violent movie, but then again it was one more thing they had secretly in common. The movie was great but Helga had to stay focused on it way to hard. The wish to just crawl up these seats to sit next to him was strong. Like Yoda had said, not stronger the dark side is, but quicker, easier, more seductive.
That was exactly the way she felt when her mind harboured around Arnold in some special ways that have started since puberty. How she wanted to grab him, dig her nails in his flesh, smell his scent while kissing his sweet lips and touch his hair like some sort of cute and foreign animal that needed to be cuddled. Right now, right here she wouldn't mind if he stood up, walked towards her and started to make out with here in the middle of all those people. But the boy she loved wasn't like that and except from the fact that she would never denie anything he offers her she loved him for it. He didn't want an easy slutty girl like so much man, he wanted the right girl for him, someone to win as a prise not something that trough itself at you like someone else had just throw it away like garbage.
Just then Arnold stood up, leaving his place and headed out, while the movie still wasn't over. What was that about Helga questioned herself, staring back at the place he had just sit a minute ago. His drink and the popcorn was just there so maybe he did just go to the toilet. Then again maybe he had seen her and just discovered her deepest, darkest secret. Switching back and fourth between calm and panic Helga didn't recognise that Arnold had came back from the toilets, or that he spotted her in the crowd of people.
"Hey Helga!" the calm and friendly voice of Arnold called out for her as he nearly stood beside he without her noticing him.
"Whoa criminy football head, want to give me a heart-attack?" Helga panicked as she finally realised that her beloved one was standing next to her, pulling his hand gently on her shoulder to get her out of her staring state.
"Why don't we sit and enjoy the movie together Helga?" the football headed boy offered the Hellgirl and pointed towards his seat. After all they know each other, even where friends in Arnold's mind and at the same movie at the moment, so why not enjoy it together. Helga blushes red, but luckily Arnold couldn't see it in the dark and she quickly thought about some excuse. She couldn't do this now she would just jump on him like some crazy maniac starting to kiss him all over if she would sit next to him.
"I … you … movie, well …!" she hesitated looking back at her ticked. It still read "Heartbreakers V" so she came up with an excuse pretty soon without thinking about it twice.
"Yeah well you see football head, I'm actually in the wrong movie, I have picked Heartbreakers V!" Helga explained laughing a little as if she was aware of how stupid this mistake must look. Arnold as dense and blind sometimes didn't buy the excuse this time.
"Helga half of the film is already over, shouldn't you figured that out sooner, I mean you're a pretty clever girl?" and while he looked surprised she just heard the words pretty and clever directed to hr and nearly swoon by that. Arnold grabbed her fast as she fell back so she didn't hit the ground.
"Helga are you okay, do you feel alright?" he asked worried about her and touched her head to see if she had fever and was ill of some kind. Stupid football head and his stupid worries making it all the way harder to resist him.
"Sheesh of course I'm okey Arnoldo, now get your hand off me!" Helga ordered, while pushing him away, slapping his hand as they reached out to stop her from falling back once again.
"Are you sure you don't look so good and clearly Heartbreakers V doesn't sound much like a movie you would like!" Arnold realised and tried to figure out why she was lying and acting that weird all of the sudden, like it was his do-good-er nature.
"And since when do you know something important about me and my likes well football head?" Helga finally snapped and runs out of the room before Arnold could even answer or follow here. Why Arnold must I torture you and myself all the time, why can't I be nice to you weather or not you someday may realise and return my feelings towards you she questioned herself once she reached the girls toilets.
Alone and in tears she questioned herself and her live like so many times before, maybe it was some cruel way of faith to torture her for past sins in a former live, maybe some former past long ago. After all didn't these green eyed people believe she was some reborn goddess same way Arnold was in their eyes. After all a whole tribe of people couldn't be wrong and it wasn't such her who praises Arnold like some sort of god. Then again they thought she was some kind of goddess too so maybe it was faith after all that they were meant for each other at all.
The only thing clear now was that Helga's Head was burning, hurting and spinning like she get hit by a truck. Why was love so hard, why was life itself so hard to her, when clearly it was falling like a big and delicious fruit in the hands of others like Rhonda. That's right the little princess got everything in her life without even working for it and I Helga G. Pataki on the other hand was working harder than the most people and still never get what I deserved. Sure my family wasn't poor either, but ob didn't gave me much money when I really need it blabbering something about hard money must be earned by hard work and such bullshit.
Arnold never had much either, first he hadn't had his parents for a long time and clearly the old boarding house wasn't getting them very much money, still he wasn't poor and he wasn't complaining about it ever.
Clearly Arnold had a better character, better moral standards and enough optimism to look on the bride side whatever life trows at him. Like an invisible shield was around him nothing of that ever seams to touch him and he protected others from the bad things of the world whenever possible. She loved that about him too, that he was a little old fashioned in some ways, like a gentleman from the last century. There where some genuine, some true things in these moves and intention of his that she always missed by most people in our times. Like something Shakespeare had written it was kind of a fairytale for herself to become true. The poor princess and the shining night against a dark world enlightening it with their pure love for each other. That was what love was all about, two people getting together to create their own little paradise while the world around them still was a mad, crazy and dangerous place. But love could build walls even a whole castle to protect these inside from all these dangers and problems. And like most good castles loves greatest danger could come from enemies within its walls and not from the outside. How long she had waited for Arnold to claim her castle, to crush her walls of defence and rush trough them forward to the motte that represented her heard.
Knowing his great faith in himself and his brace behavior she knew he was the only one to ever crush that fortress, to win to conquer her.
Was it clear now to get out, was Arnold still watching the movie, did he try to follow her or did he went home after that, Helga questioned as she looked slowly out of the girls toilet-room. Left, right no sign of the football head so Helga sneaked out of the theater and felt safe once more.
Clearly walking right home wouldn't do it right now, as Arnold's House would be on her way, so Helga just took an unusual way to her residence. On her way she spotted a familiar face in Tina Park. She had already known he was there before she has seen him, over the years she had developed a pretty good Arnold-radar on her own. He was sitting on a bench under a big tree and he looked to the sky, while the sunset filled it all in dark but warm colours, mostly red and orange.
It was like an old landscape picture with overwhelming warm colours and the picture of him daydreaming and looking to the sky was so innocent, so sweet it let Helga forget all her fear and anger in that moment. What wonderful moment would it be if she just could sit with him there, but her defence mechanism one more would click in and run the moment, making him think that she was some kind of freak even more than now.
In times like this Helga wished she could be nice and cute like Lila or Nadine and act just like a girly-girl like them but that wasn't just her. Her father always was disappointed in the way she acted and from the start it was clear that he didn't wanted to have another daughter, cause he was satisfied with Olga already. Maybe that was the main reason she became so tomboyish once so her family would recognise her as something more than Olga's shadow, but even when all that was over and they were growing on each other like a real family she couldn't change the fact that she had developed a very manly personality. To be true she never wanted to change that fact when she saw how stupid, immature and helpless all the other girls acted like idiots just to get the attention of some boys and how it became more and more popular to act like you where stupid to get more attention trough all of school. That just wasn't Helge Geraldine Pataki and neither did she ever want to be herself like some of these girls. She was strong, independent and most of the time fearsome and she was aware of the fact that she was more prepared for real life like any of that boobs in school. Hiding behind a bush she slowly walked near Arnold to get a better look of him. Was he sad or desperate? Maybe it was the fact that Gerald displaced him for Pheebs, or the way she acted towards him back at the film when all he wanted to do was being nice.
So life wasn't always fair and nice to her, and the Hellgirl knew all to well that she was making it worse by treating the only one she really loves with the same bad mood most people gave her. It wasn't fair to him, it was't even fair to herself, like pulling small hot daggers inside her own heart it burned every time she treated Arnold that way. She was sure to hurt him, sure that it hurts her as much, if not much more but still, she couldn't get over the fact that he was her only real connection to this world that matters. Without him, without his love or dare she thing it with him rejecting her what would hold herself back in this crazy place.
But what could she do to be sure he loved her right back, to be able to tell him what she wanted to tell him for so long without taking it back once again.
She had tried being nice once, tried to use magic and other stuff that promised her wonders but none of that hat ever worked, even her own crazy plans to ruin his dates with other girls never worked out totally when in the end he w´still wasn't loving her instead of them. But after over all those years, all those tries, what was left that she hadn't tried till now. Like a general in war I was losing one battle after another but I didn't want to give up. One finally victory, one success at least and he would all be mine and forever mine there was no doubt.
What was left that I could try, what hadn't I tried beside forcing him and I knew all to well that wanted to have his love out of his own free will without tricks or not at all. Why couldn't he just realise what I'm feeling and by that starting to feel the same when clearly he hasn't had much more luck in finding himself a girlfriend than I had with him. Maybe I should tlk to Pheebs more often, trying to let her switch some of the secreats he shared with Gerald, cause the more I know about him the more I could be sucsesfull. I was sure to knew more about him than most people besides his family ever whould but whatever he was discussing with his best friend Geraldo could maybe be the key to his lockedup heard one day. Man where supposed to talk about girls and such stuff so he may have told Gerald some important things and he told them to Pheebs who could tell them to me later.