Ok folks, take 5 at my idea for a Persona fanfic, do please review, leaving behind any useful ideas for my writing. I do not have much experiance in publishing my work, so this is bound to be rife with error. Flame if you want, I get a few cheap chuckles at them. Also, if Chemical Fire is reading this, do feel free to heartlessly ream this, I need all the instruction I can get, consider this a response to your fic "Blatant Theft", I also took in mind your lessons from "Destructive Criticism", I hope I do not dissapoint.
Sean gazed out the window of the train at the scenery rolling by with a serene look on his face. The sun was setting, painting the sky in effulgent strokes of red and orange, turning the ocean into a sea of molten glass. Skull Candies graced his ears, belting a screaming violin into his brain. In his hands lay a sketchpad that looked as if it had seen quite a few better days, though as anyone would tell you with unwitting accuracy, the contents within were the contents of his heart. The only bit of carry-on luggage he had was a worn laptop bag, closed and resting upon his lap. He was hours, perhaps a day from his destination, and desired only to rest, but motion sickness had other plans.
He rose from his seat with a groan, ambling past and accidently bumping into a few fellow travelers as he made his way through the crowded train car towards the head. His face was peakish, decidedly green. Lurching past the door he then relieved himself of a late lunch. After what seemed like hours he stood shakily before the mirror, hoping to catch any errant chunks.
He brushed locks of strawberry blonde hair from his face and grey eyes, indeed catching a bit of airport pizza on the tip of his red goatee. 'Ikutsuki really is a cheap bastard about these travel arrangements...'. Inspite of the wave of irritation at the mere thought of his employer and former legal guardian, he was genuinenly happy, perhaps thrilled at the thought that at last he had escaped from his former residence; A soulless hellpit where hopes and dreams go to die, otherwise known as Oroville, California.
'My first time back home in 10 years, I missed you Iwatodai' Popping ginger pills to settle his stomache he went back to his seat, only to find a girl seated right next to where he was seated. 'Damn, I was really layed up in their for awhile, we must have stopped at Tokyo' Shrugging to himself he strode over to his seat, getting a polite nod from the lady as he sat down. Catching glimpses at her through the reflection on the window he found it hard to supress a look of glee. You see, Sean had a certain fondness for any girl in the goth/punk genre, bordering on creepy obsessiveness. This girl had auburn hair with black streaks, heavily mascaraded eyes and lips, piercings throughout, and the strangest yet most alluring red eyes. She wore a black shortsleeve collard shirt, over what seemed to be a fishnet suit, artfully tattered. Tight jeans and black vintage converse completed the image.
So sean decided to implement a plan, only matched in its spontaneity by the sheer stupidity it took to carry it out. He flipped open his sketchpad, opening to an old favorite he dubbed "Rasputin". In in a tall skeletal figure clad in a fur coat and skapka had his boney arms around a female figure made of ice, who in turn had her hands upon the shoulders of a small child who seemed to be constructed of paper. Sean is rather big on symbolism.
He noticed that the girl had on heahphones, and heard some pop/punk tune playing through, barely catching the words "burn my dread". So he donned his own, and played a favorite of his, Huliganetta by a wonderful little gypsy punk band, heavy on the violin, and certain to catch her attention in that brief silence when her MP3 player switched songs. Even though the drawing was long since finished, he made it appear that he was shading an adding finishing touches. 'Girls like artists right? Though I swear I dont know what to talk about if this actually works...' Sean is also big on internal monologue, as he sees it, it only becomes a problem when you actually answer yourself.
Her song ended, and as per plan, she did glance over at him due to his own noise, and immediatly checked out his drawing, although that was about it as far as any social interaction went, and he had to be content in appearing to be none the wiser. She was rather impressed, the astetics of the piece of art appealing to her morbid senses. 'Cool skeleton dude, but whats with the dude? He looks like hes going to collapse' Indeed it did, Sean groaned, the motion sickness returning, utterly ignoring the medication he had been given with confidence that it might actually cure the long stading ailment. He wound up his MP3 player, and tilted the back of his chair hoping an incline would help, which it didnt. Then he commited a big no-no as far as motion sickness goes. From his laptop bag his drew out an admissions packet, the entire reason behind his seemingly miraculous return and read it, which only seemed to make his condition worse.
The girl noticed this, a mild suprise showing in her eyes. She adressed him, her voice husky, almost burlesque, sensual and deep. "Your going to Gekkoukan too?" He glanced over, suprised that she initiated contact "Yea, im starting off as a freshman, you?"
"Junior" An awkward silence loomed, Sean was grasping at straws, cursing his ever present social awkwardness. So he decided on a basic "Sean Carnes" He offered his hand, which she shook daintely, with hesitation "Minako Arisato" Another awkward silence, and Sean returned to gazing out the window, the sunset long past, leaving him with just a starscape to catch his attention, and a mirrorlike ocean reflecting a waxing moon.
'What is it with this guy, is he nervous? He keeps looking at me when he thinks I cant see, its kinda creepy...' She also looked, not seeing very many foriegners despite her time moving to and fro across Japan as a transfer student. She rather admired the goatee, thinking it to be handsome, even on the broad gaelic face of Sean.
The two travelled in silence, neither one catching the others eyes as they traded glances at each other back and forth. 'Come on Sean this is pathetic...' No matter how much he chided himself however he could not bring himself to start a conversation, too frightened at what could happen if he were to make any one of his usual social fopahs. It really didnt matter, for the clock struck midnight and thats when the whole world changed.
The moon turned an eeiry shade of yellow, illuminating an ocean of blood red water. The trains progress halted immediatly, as if it was frozen in time, which technically it was. The walls turned green and Seans coke also turned into blood red fluid. The most disturbing change took place when every living person on that train, with the exception of himself and Minako, turned into coffins, Transmogrifying being the proper term. Seriously, coffins, big heavy crystalline objects took the place wherever the people formerly were.
'Im looking forward to the extra hour of sleep, having Dark Hour at 6 a.m. sucks' Seans face was serene as usual, betraying no emotion other then boredom, although he was not at all comfortable with the fact that he was in the middle of the Dark Hour without his usual armanents, namely a sledgehammer to back him up. 'Just gotta pray that no shadows show up, with my personae sealed Im naked in the woods'
Minako on the other hand looked quite disturbed 'Great, corpse hour followed me here too' She heaved a great sigh of resignation, and looked over at Sean, who only shrugged "You too huh?" She shook her head "I thought I was the only one who had to deal with this"
"Nope, I've been going through this delightful little tear in universal sanity for the better part of a decade now, I assume its the same for you?" She nodded, auburn bangs falling into her carmine eyes as she looked downcast "Ever since...an accident..." She cringed, and her eyes gleamed with an unshed tear "Ever since then Ive known about this time..." Sean heard the sadness evident in her voice, and did the best he could to cheer her up "I like this time, trust me, the possibilities for mayhem are limitless. I made a fun game where I would re-arrange the coffins and watch as people would totally lose track of their actions and wonder what the hell just happened" His eyes took a mischtevious gleam and he looked at her conspiritorially, gesturing with his hands " Also its rather fun to write messeges around people on the walls and watch the fun as they slowly descend into madness" Minako giggled, and layed back in her seat, tilting it. She yawned rather cutely. "You kinda evil arnt you?" Sean shrugged, holding out his hand and tilting side to side as if to say 'sorta' "Well, you can keep watch, Im going to sleep" Before she did, her eyes closed she added "Thank you Sean" Minako slept, while Sean snuck a glance or two at her resting form and sighed in contentment 'Well, I managed to make a decent first impression for once'.
Ok, first chapter cranked out, It will follow Canon as far as the first bits of exposition are concerned, but I do have something pretty original (as far as I know) In mind for this, so please bear with me. If this seems rushed toward the end, it is, Im texting this out via phone email to a friend (NukeMyWaffle) whose an total trooper for posting this for me. Seriously, read her stuff, she will add her info after this a/n
Assisting A/N: Saint-boy owes me cookies. (Just remove the spaces)
NukeMyWaffle: http:/ www. fanfiction. net/u /1303478 /Nuke MyWaffle
Kazi-kun: http:/ www. / u/ 981894/ Kazi_Kun
http:/ kazi-kun .livejournal .com /tag /fanfic
On behalf of Saintkenneth, please read and review.