It All Comes Apart

Chapter 1 - I Meant What I Said

Posted 5 January 2011

AUTHOR'S NOTE: yeah, so this is my second Drake & Josh slash fic. It is entirely separate from "True Love's First Kiss" and I don't really like it all that much. But I never really like what I write, but as long as there's someone out there liking it I'll write it :D And don't worry, I won't slack off on the other one just because of this; I've mastered the fine art of multi-tasking.

Summary: Slash. Stepcest. Drake/Josh. Alternative outcome to "Josh is Done" (I know, it's been done. Well, it's being done again lol)

o0O0o

"I... I need you more than you need me. I need you way more than you need me, all right? I'm sorry. Man, I'm sorry I made you late for your exam and I'm sorry I ran over your bike and I… I'm sorry that I'm probably the worst brother in the world and, you know, you're way better off without me, you know? I just need you to understand that I, I… I'm sorry Josh. I'm sorry." Drake clumsily grabbed the door handle and ran from the chemistry room.

"Josh, would you like to go talk to Drake?" the teacher asked, recognizing the seriousness of the situation.

"Uh..." No, Josh most certainly did not want to go talk to Drake. That would mean bringing him back into his life. And his life has been so much better since he forced Drake out of it. But he couldn't stand to see Drake like that. He's seen Drake hurt before. But never like that. It was like his entire world had crumbled, leaving him alone and defenseless, robbed of everything. He couldn't let Drake be like that. After all, Josh still cared about Drake, to an extent. And he cared about people in general. No one should have to feel like they have nothing. Not even Drake. "Sure. I think I have to."

"Very well."

Josh slowly rose from his seat and exited the classroom, wondering where Drake went. But he didn't have to think too hard; he spotted his soaking-wet brother down the hall, sitting against the wall with his legs folded tight against his chest and his arms wrapped around them. As Josh silently approached Drake, he could see him repeatedly hitting his head against the wall while pinching his eyes closed and scrunching his mouth up into an unflattering scowl.

"Drake?" Josh asked cautiously.

"Go away."

"No."

"Well then yell at me now and get it over with." Drake still didn't open his eyes, but he could hear Josh sitting down next to him.

"I'm not going to yell at you." Josh said in his forgiving voice.

"Why not? You should."

"No, I shouldn't. Drake, thank you for apologizing. That meant a lot to me."

"Whatever."

"I accept it. I forgive you." Josh continued, not sure if Drake knew this.

"Just like you always do." Drake sounded so angry, but there was something more. Something that almost sounded like pain.

"And I'm sorry too."

"Oh, yeah, because you're the fuck up." Drake yelled this louder than he'd planned, but he decided it didn't matter. He'd never be coming back here again. Not this time.

"What do you mean? You're not..."

"Yes, Josh, I am. I'm a fuck up. I fuck everything up. If there is something within a ten mile radius of me, it will be fucked up. Because I'm. A. Fuck. Up." Drake pounded a fist on the floor to prove his point, as if his words weren't enough.

"No you're not, you make mistakes, but,"

"But what?" Drake asked sarcastically. "Name something I haven't screwed up, either directly or... not directly." he finished lamely.

"Well there's... um..." Josh honestly thought his hardest to find something. He knew there were things Drake did well, he remembers being so proud of his success. But, of course, the one time he's pressured to provide a memory of one of these moments, none present themselves.

"Exactly." Drake huffed and stood. He waited for Josh to try and say something motivational again, but nothing came. Maybe Josh was finally accepting that Drake was, indeed, a fuck up. "I meant what I said, you know."

"I know you meant it. I mean, to apologize in front of the class in an outburst like that..." Josh started, but was interrupted before he had the time to think maybe things between him and Drake would become less awkward.

"Not the apology. Well, I meant that part too, I am sorry."

"Well, what else did you mean?"

"That I'm the worst brother in the world."

"You are not..."

"And that you're better off without me." Drake said calmly and began to walk away from Josh.

"Wait, where are you going?" Josh asked, sounding hurt and confused.

"Home." Drake said, knowing Josh wouldn't skip the rest of the school day to follow him. He chanced glancing back at Josh, and saw a lot of hurt in his eyes. But it was for the best. He walked away from Josh, left him standing there in the empty hallway. This was the last time he was ever going to hurt Josh again. It was going to hurt himself as well, but it was worth it if it gave Josh the peaceful, happy life he deserved.